Monthly Archives: January 2011

Internets

tumblr Swears They Are Fixing Stuff, Gawd People

It looks like Friday, no doubt before another all weekend workathon for the tumblr crew, this hilarious attempt to calm the pitchfork wielding villagers was posted into Staff:

Hi, everyone. I wanted to run through a few of the things our engineers have been working on behind the scenes.

Our #1 priority has been bringing your blogs back to 100% uptime. We project the graph below on our wall, showing us exactly how many error messages we are serving instead of real pages.

We live and die by this chart, and we’ve been pulling nights and weekends working to remove the bottlenecks that have made “over capacity” errors routine. The list of systems we’ve tackled includes everything from networking equipment to database queries to the deep dark insides of the Linux kernel. (If working on these kinds of challenge gets your pulse up, we want to hear from you.)

As we break through our past bottlenecks, we are simultaneously faced with growth like we’ve never seen before. Our challenge is not only to support the current audience of 55 million, but to getahead of more than 250,000,000 new pageviews each week.

Still, we’ve made incredible progress in improving our infrastructure. We’re not out of the woods yet, but we expect these coming weeks to be much smoother than the past few rocky months. We’re incredibly confident in our ability to scale to serve all of the visitors to your awesome blogs.

A couple specific issues I want to cover:

• The Queue feature has been disabled more often than not over the last two weeks. We hit an incredibly difficult problem with the way the Queue processes handle their publishing step that forced us to unwind and rewrite a big chunk of our publishing routine. The Queues have been completely restored for the last couple days and we don’t foresee any more issues.

• This morning we suffered an outage for nearly an hour starting at about 7am EST. The proxy server that handles the vast majority of incoming requests failed, and its automatic backup also failed because of an unrelated networking issue. It took us longer than hoped to correct the multiple causes, but we’ve put systems into place to make sure that even another double failure won’t cause an outage like this in the future.

If you ever run into issues, please don’t hesitate to contact support. And you can check known issues via our Twitter feed orHelp page.

Thank you for your patience and support through all of this. To make up for it, we have some absolutely epic product updates around the corner.

Coming soon, awesome stuff! Haven’t they been promising great stuff, next year, next month, soon, for the past 3 years? And hey, don’t forget to contact them when they go down so they can either a) ignore it or b) tell you to take your blogging elsewhere because they are tired of user negativity.

And I don’t know me nothing bout no computery thangs, but I think if the infrastructure holding your entire “business” together requires 24/7 babysitting and constant bondo and band-aids then maybe you need to just rip it up and start over. Especially if you are looking at getting your user base up to everypersonintheworld,000,000.

Anyway, they haven’t gone down in a whole 48 hours, so maybe they ARE making progress. Go team!

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Internets

Editor of Vogue Italia Calls Fashion Blogging an “Epidemic”

Breaking news! Blogspot is about to implode as Vogue Italia Editor-in-Chief Franca Sozzani dares to besmirch the good name of fashion bloggers everywhere!

Refinery29, unsurprisingly, shit a virtual brick as they cattily tossed back factual examples of how Sozzani is out of touch with NEW FASHUN and underestimates the selling power of a “slew of wearable outfits.”

Here’s a bit of what Sozzani had to say:

They want to be recognized during the shows. I see many of them because they tell me their names, or I ask, because they are sitting front row, but I forget quickly. They are the bloggers, like the veline, no one has a real name. It’s a category. Anonymous, but real. They don’t do much damage because they are like moths. They live only one night. If they last longer, it’s not because they are better bloggers or their blog is more interesting. It’s a trend and like it happens with all trends in fashion, it gets blown up out of proportion and creates many followers.

And just because she’s on a roll:

Are they important for Vogue? Do we need all these bloggers? They don’t offer an opinion but only talk about themselves, take their own pictures wearing absurd outfits. What’s the point? I don’t even know who they are except a few names because they are so many and all the same, they are so worried about what to wear to get noticed that my eyes only see a crowd in the end.

Exactement. Sure, it’s a little ridiculous for one fashiony person to be berating thousands of others simply because she works at an OMGMAGAZINE and they inhabit a rarely-seen corner of the Interwebz, but even the most elite of the fashion blogger set cannot deny that what she says has some merit.

Maybe fashion bloggers do sell a lot of merchandise, and they may inspire lots of minion comments with their bold use of hipster glasses and colored socks, but it’s a candle in the wind, mes amis. New ones pop up every single day. Our friend Messica used to seem like a trailblazer with her outfit-a-day posts. Now, quirky mcquirkerson Kendi has her sponsors and her readers. Fashion blogging is like a bigger version of Match.com: specify the height, weight, hair color and general personality traits you’re looking for and you’re guaranteed to find something that fits in a 10 minute search on Blogspot.

Refinery29, an online magazine that’s essentially built their content on the dregs of street style looks and fashion blogger photos (see above), is understandably irritated about this fashion blogger trashing and retorts:

Man, we are so tired of old-school editors unintentionally revealing how ancient and out of touch they are by positioning themselves and their publications as anti-blogger. The world of personal blogging might be big and chaotic, and while there are a fair share of vainglorious trend-machines out there, the medium itself has made fashion consumption something easy and fun to do—which is good for everyone!

Easy and fun to do? I don’t think that’s the case at all. With few exceptions, fashion blogs generally consist of the following:

  • Thrifted, discounted or DIY clothing
  • Designer clothing
  • Sponsored bloggers (and sponsored clothing)
  • Vanity photoshoots
  • Trite little quips about how much they love what they’re wearing that day

Now, I love a lot of fashion blogs, but even I, Lancelle, cannot save them from their BUT WE PROVIDE VALUABLE CONTENT WAAHHH attitude. They hang themselves with the shitty, whiny attitudes, their constant sponsor-whoring and the minuscule percentage of readers that actually purchase anything after watching them frolic around in a $150 c/o’d coat.

Let’s call it like it is. Most fashion bloggers exist because they like the validation, they like the sponsorship, it’s a pretty sweet deal job-wise and they can chalk their content up to “inspiration” and be done with it. That’s it. They aren’t offering a service to the masses, they aren’t providing readers anything beyond a pretty picture or an idea most of the time, and those that do offer valuable, actionable content usually aren’t willing to participate in the fashion blogger circle jerk and they get left behind.

Show me a Messica Quirk, and I’ll show you 90% of the people on Blogspot.

NEXT.

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Internets

Meghan McCain Is More Than Just A Body, So Please Stop Talking About Her Body, Because She Loves Her Body

Megatits McCain, best selling author and political mind of the decade, is finally once again for the 90th time addressing you body haters:

“Pundits” going on Bill O’Reilly commenting on my body and tattoos are threatened by who and what I represent in politics. less than a minute ago via web

Never in the history of politics or blondes with big tits has anyone sounded so self-important and b***hy. Hey Gretchen Weiner, hate to break it to you but nobody is threatened by you unless they are standing in the path between you and a case of Bud Light, mkay? Seriously how many times is she going to beat this horse???

Get over yourself.

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Internets

Today In Mental Images You Will Never Forgive Me For: Poundcake’s Boobs

Meaghan O’Connel, editrix of the sex story book Coming & Crying, somehow keeps being allowed to write. Apparently that new media lady website The Hairpin thinks Poundcake’s  ”please like me and think I’m cool” ramblings makes for awesome content. Here’s some special highlights from Poundcake’s incoherent recollections of flashing her boobs:

On to the TL;DR…

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Internets

Jessica Quirk Is Too Busy To Come Up With Original Post Titles

Jessica Quirk, full time blogger for 25 hours a week, works really really hard, yo. She has to make sure people aren’t linking to her or reblogging her without telling her, because she doesn’t like her content used without getting compensated. Which is why I’m a little surprised to see Messica’s January 12th post:

looks suspiciously like Cupcakes and Cashmere’s January 10th post:

I get that she’s super busy with work and doesn’t have time to read EVERY BLOG EVER, but come on, if this doesn’t make the other fashion bloggers give her a side-eye-good-bye then I just don’t understand the internet at all.

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Internets

Sponsor THIS, suckers


Given Rich Tong’s pathetic shitshow all over Twitter earlier, I thought it was high-time (bien sur) that I discussed the intricate art of the blog sponsorship with you. If you are trying to become a Fashion Expert, you will need to know a few important things about this dark underbelly of the fashion blogging world if you ever intend to make it to NYFW on Rich Tong’s b***h-infested coattails.

1. If they don’t give you money, make sure they give you shit. Don’t even mention a brand without immediately firing off an @tweet or email to the appropriate retailer so they can acknowledge your hard work properly. And by properly, I mean that they need to send you money AND/OR shit. Toujours l’argent!

2. When retailers wonder why they haven’t seen any ROI from their sponsorship, do whatever is necessary to keep the free shit coming. If you have to MAKE UP testimonials, so be it. And make sure you tell these connards properly: even if no one BOUGHT anything, there were still 10,000 eyes on that leather bag this month, so they had better shut their little traps and send you another dress.

3. Readers will question your motives and your authenticity. Of course they will. Those stupid little snots don’t know anything. They are your minions and they should behave as such. They have nothing to do with your success and you owe them absolutely nothing. Keep getting that free shit and shove it in their faces and they’ll come around.

I realize, mes amis, that it may come as quite a shock that many fashion bloggers don’t care about anything but free clothing and money. But, as you Americans like to say, the truth hurts.

Now get out there and c/o like your very existence depends on it!

Because it does.

xo,

Lancelle

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Internets

Rich Tong Is Entitled To What Rich Tong Asks For

Rich Tong, tumblr’s latest pointless employee, is busy busy busy begging for tickets vetting all the primo invites he is getting for shows. Now he is going be busy clippers with a whole lot of ass kisser flower bribes thank yous. And what does someone who is internet important do when they need something? Hint for a sponsorship, natch!

Aw. Well, maybe a little less time preening in front of your internet reflection and more time building actual relationships with potential sponsors before you demand free stuff, Richie.

Yeah, what am I saying. In internetsland all you have to do is say “I want free shit” and people just throw it at you. So hey Nicole Miller, enjoy your thank you flowers that Rich Tong begged a discount for.

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Internets

Meaghan O’Connell Continues Her Professional Attitude

Poundcake, professional navel gazer, might be at a new company – but that’s not keeping her from maintaining her reputation for mature and totally profesh behavior!

On one hand I’m late for work, on the other hand i took approximately 30 crappy photos of the snow falling.http://yfrog.com/h3nnabj10:41 AM Jan 25th via Twitter for iPhone

Yes tumblr, this is the type of employees you train and send out into the job market. I hope you’re proud of yourself for your contribution.

And Meaghan, grow the frock up. ‘Teehee I wuz playin grab ass with my iphone guess I is late for works’ is not cute, it’s not endearing, it doesn’t make you a bittersweet reminder to us all to slow down and enjoy the pretty frozen water falling from the sky. It makes you an unprofessional, idiotic asshole. Get a grip.

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Internets

Julia Allison Takes Nothing From Her Parents Except Things That Make Her An Entitled WHAT WAIT

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah “small 10k gift ok….that’s all? She is paying 600 a month for a space worth 2200! TOPS

Look Julia’s nice in person. She is. At first. Then she bleeds you. Been there, done that. Job op in CHI? Sure right. Ok I mayve been drinkin dont post my email ok. It’s CLEAAAAR WHO WER ARE.

Not lie we want her in the club and telling you now as real estate guys, Julia is a put up with her person. She ruins a night for us.

You can post this but not our names ok. G would KNOW K.

OUT

No further comment.

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Internets

Mary Rambin Had Too Many Glasses of Wine at Breakfast

Maybe it is the language barrier, or maybe it was her breakfast wine, but I can’t tell what this “fashion expert” Mary Rambin is trying to say here:

By continuing to feed my lust and adoration with delicious designs, I feel like Karl and crew at Chanel are just begging for my attention.  I dare not buy anything because that would take away the mystery in this relationship.  Chanel would know I love her just as much, if not more, that she loves me.  So, I will just pass by these stunning pieces and leave them wondering if they have a place in my heart.

WAT.

It hurts my heart to see a French brand discussed in such a flippant, incomprehensible manner. I turn my nose up at you, Mary Rambin, for your sheer audacity in thinking the Chanel brand would care one bit about whether or not you spend your father’s money on their accessories.

ProTip: Mary, if you cannot afford Chanel, try Lancel instead. It is from Paris. It is also expensive and wonderful and Parisian. The names are similar so no one will know the difference: Chanel/Lancel, Lancel/Chanel.

P.S. I offer no judgment against your breakfast wine habit. I am French, after all, and I brush my teeth with wine, bathe in wine, give my four small dogs wine in special little bowls and, occasionally, wash my hair in wine. So drink if you must, but do not drink and blog about Chanel. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

xo,

Lancelle

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Internets

Another Busy Day For Messica

Jessica Quirk of What I Wore, nicest girl ever, works very hard, yall. Why, yesterday she had to live up to a reader challenge AND leave her house!

Just last week I was challenged to remix an outfit around my beloved Breton striped tee. Challenge accepted, suckers! I initially had some different pants in mind, but this outfit was great to go from lunch to the salon to dinner without skipping a beat.

Whoa whoa…she had to get dressed, pose for pics, and then go out and eat two meals with a salon visit in between? How does she do it all? Slow down, Superwoman! As if that weren’t enough, Messica also worked out:

Boot camp totally wiped me tonight! I could just fall over.about 16 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Guys, someone needs to sit Jessica down and tell her to take it easy. She is just doing too much. Between her full time blogging job, tweeting, mani/pedis, bang trimmings, eating, and scrabble with @quirk, this girl is going to burn out. Can nothing be done to make her relax???

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Internets

Tumblr’s Fashion Week Field Trip Failing To Impress The Only Blogger Worth Having

We are hearing rumors that there is a reason Tavi Gevinson, fashion blogging’s current darling, has not been listed in the bloggers attending tumblr’s NYFW field trip:

Tavi has no need to attend NYFW on behalf of tumblr. She has more than enough invites and offers to pay for her participation without tumblr.

Tavi’s tumblr itself seems to be just a series of random picture posts. Her real blogging is still happening elsewhere. I guess we wait and see  if she decides to attend and blog on behalf of tumblr, or continue to pursue her own blog.

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Internets

Chaz Forman Continues To Be An Enormous Douchebag

Well it’s about time to check in on Charles Forman again, just to make sure he hasn’t posted any new pics of his shirtless chest. Darn, no such luck. But true to Chaziness, he has kept up a regular twitter stream of all caps weirdness:

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY REALLY FAST?8:59 PM Jan 14th via web

DEAR GIRL IN THE BIKINI TOP AT EQUINOX, I HOPE YOU DONT THINK UR SKINNY BECAUSE UR ASIAN, BECAUSE UR NOT (SKINNY).8:55 PM Jan 17th via web

REPORTS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGERATED. OF STEVE JOBS, NOT SO MUCH. SELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.11:54 AM Jan 18th via web

Why does he always sound like he’s in the middle of a manic episode??? I honestly worry about this man. Thank goodness he hasn’t figured out tumblr yet, or people would really wonder how this guy made so much money.

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