Monthly Archives: April 2011

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Of a Kind is Etsy for Hipsters

Oh, Of a Kind. They packaged overpriced boutique designer goods with the words “exclusivity” and “limited-edition” and hipsters started foaming at the mouth to get their friendship bracelet-laden hands on…things like this sheer blouse concoction, which is selling at $325.

Hype around Of a Kind has died down since the initial launch, but they’re still selling. (Trying to sell you sheer shirts for $300.)

I want to know if they’re actually pulling a profit off this venture, and if the designers featured have seen an uptick in interest after being featured. Is there a big future ahead of Of a Kind when consumers can find lookalike items at a fraction of the cost? Have you bought anything?

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Jessica Quirk Still Thinks She’s French Or Something

NON! This is an outrage. You put on a striped shirt and you suddenly think you are French and living in some time-warped, alternate Parisian reality?! You are in INDIANA!

She just took five years off my life with this “I am so French French chic Parisian French” thing again. Does she love torturing me? Why does she wear sunglasses when it’s not sunny? These are all important questions I am asking myself right now.

And another thing! That skirt is too small pour vous!

*nose in air*

xoxo,

Lancelle

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Jessica Quirk Is A Salty Old Something, That’s For Sure

I have a few minutes, so let’s discuss…whatever this is:

Today busy Jessica “Studio and Meetings” Quirk’s  praiseworthy, career making personal style is built on jeans, rain boots and slicker, and a sweater. Oh sorry! I forgot her super witty descriptions!

Today I’m looking very much like a salty old Fisherman.  We could trade outfits and/or I could work on a lobster boat in this look!

Please someone from “Deadliest Catch” get this woman on a boat immediately. I would love to see Messica standing around doing the pigeon toe, talking about their “cozy” sweaters, asking if they knew the Gorton’s guy while they tried to keep the boat from capsizing.

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Crafts Are Getting Jessica Quirk Down

Alors, I’ve had enough of the mommy blogger rageytown ranty poo cray cray. Let’s talk about this CLASS A quote from Jessica Quirk:

Sometimes you might feel like crafts are getting you down, or perhaps you just need to look at the lighter side of crafts.

I feel like I’ve been baited. And I kind of like it.

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Almost-Princess Kate Middleton Is English, Not French…So I Don’t Care

An English princess. Who cares? Certainly not I, a proud Frenchwoman. But, since all you Americans have your panties in a knot over the OMGROYALWEDDING, here is your first and last post on GOMI about Kate Middleton.

I thought earlier today, “What could Kate Middleton do so that a Frenchwoman such as myself might actually care about her?”

I found a few things.

Kate Middleton flashed her ass while getting into a car. There is a good chance she was drinking.

This, I can respect. As I have often drank one too many bottles and stumbled out to the street and into the nearest car, I can sympathize with her panty flash. The good news is she was wearing underwear. I cannot say the same for myself. Well, there’s usually a 50/50 chance.

*nose in air*

Kate Middleton wears ridiculous lingerie. We’ve all been there. Well, maybe not THERE, on a stage with a prince admiring your be-ribboned hairdo…more like THERE, as in wearing ridiculous lingerie.

Kate Middleton is rapidly losing weight prior to her nuptials. My guess is she has a French friend who whispered in her ear the secret to French skinniness. “Lots of wine, Kate, and the occasional sliver of cheese.”

I, Lancelle, do not stick to this diet. Alors, I cannot limit myself to a sliver. What is the English word? Slab? I want a slab of cheese, s’il vous plait.

There you go. Royal wedding covered (but not covered, see panty shot above). Off to go meet my prince now, au revoir!

xoxo,

Lancelle

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Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Tatiana Draws Strength From Her Handbag

Tatiana of Love Lies Lace plows forward with her “Weekly Gratitude”. This week Tati expresses thanks for her new Kate Spade purse (which she claims she needed due to back problems):

So I’m gonna be honest… this week sucked. I really tried but something would inevitably happen to just suck the happy out. Nevertheless I can’t deny that there were some silver linings in ever day. Like the fact that I noticed something fantastic about my new purse almost a week after owning it! It feels even better to carry it around with me now! We all need an extra dose of courage sometimes for those weeks that come at you like a wild lion!

This week she posted a movie review, a recipe for chopped up vegetables, an orange skirt outfit, and this weekly gratitude crap. How about a post about WHY your week was so rough? What came at you like a “lion”? Did a bow fall off your shoe? Because honestly if this is the worst thing that happened to you this week:

Thank you to Kevin for taking such great care of my whiney self. You see I haven’t mentioned it but I had a very unfortunate incident with a can of Heinz baked beans last weekend. It inflicted pain and some damage and Kevin was the perfect nurse.

You don’t need courage, you need some perspective.

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Jessica Quirk Knows Wedding Rings Are Fashion

Jessica Quirk, married, is an expert at personal style. And she knows nothing says fashion and personal style like making sure everyone sees your wedding ring in at least two posts a week:

What do you think? Are you married today?

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Georgie Girl Is Incredibly In Tune With The Average Mom

“Georgie Girl”, that foreign chick who invented “lifestyle blogger turned mommy blogger” as a career move, is so relatable!

I am working from home today so I snapped a few pics of Charlotte as she headed out the door with her nanny for a playdate.  I finally found some hairclips that stay put in her hair.

I think Charlotte’s nanny did a great job of dressing her today – the perfect example of a high-low outfit with a Ralph Lauren coat combined with a Target dress!

I love how down-to-earth this post is. Just another breezy work at home day for mom, sending out her accessory baby with the actual caretaker in 300 dollars worth of clothes.

Posts like this are why people think mommy bloggers are assholes, Georgie.

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There Is Too Much Talk of Russian Here on The GOMI

Alors, I am getting tres irritated at all this talk of Russians with no mention anywhere of les Francais so this post is to educate you on the superiorite of the French, and more specifically, moi.

This is me. I have finally worked up the nerve to reveal my true identite. Some say I have a resemblance to that model…uhh, her name? Cocoa Puff or something like that. Eh bien, what can you do?

This is mon chat. He has a moustache and enjoys long walks along the Seine. He loves red wine, shopping and fine dining. He is single.

Meet my brother, Pascal. He is a horrible man and seduces any woman that crosses his path with deadly accuracy and disgusting flair. I usually hate him, but occasionally we share a good joke. For example, I have learned this new English word “rascal” and we joke that his name is like it, except with a “p.” Pascal the Rascal. He is quite funny, but as I said before, mostly abhorrent in every way.

This is NOT my boyfriend, but a symbolic representation of the number of lovers I have at any given time. Take a moment and think about it. Yes, that many lovers.

Well, mes amours, I hope you have enjoyed this look into the life of a French woman and I thank you for your kind attention. Go back to talking about the Russian if you must.

*nose in air*

xoxo,

Lancelle

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Love Life Lace’s Tanya Is Russian

You may not know this, but Love Lies Lame’s Tatiana is Russian. She never mentions it, she’s pretty private about her heritage as a Russian, but she is indeed Russian. In fact, she will always be Russian:

I may speak English perfectly well and write decently in what is my second language, I may never be viewed as anything but American by most people on the street, I may have lived here for over a decade and yes, my husband may be American but no matter what my passport says (and just to clarify my Russian one is on it’s way to our house as we speak! I have dual citizenship) I’ll always be a Russian. A weird, passionate, incredibly loud (and please stop shushing me), sincere and absorbing Russian. And I’ll always feel the most at home among my people.

Her people, the pink loving, ever-smiling, easy living Russians must be very proud of her obsession with Paris and French crap.

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Expert Seamstress Jessica Quirk Nearly Completed This Dress

Jessica Quirk, who is by now quite obviously in the throes of a full-on brand overhaul (she’s the thrifty, vintage-wearing, DIY blogger, guys!), decided to spend hours of her life sewing this dress from a ModCloth pattern. Yes, she’s even getting c/o’d patterns now from them.

At some point, it seems like she said, “f**k it, this is ugly,” and decided to leave it unhemmed. Don’t really blame her.

Ta-da! Here is the nearly complete dress from Colette 1002.  My friends at ModCloth* have noticed I’ve been sewing lately and offered to send me this pattern to try out.  And did I ever learn my lessons!!

She learned her lessons guys! Ugly dresses aren’t worth the time!

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The What I Wore Ad Rates Prove That Messica Is Way Successful, Haters

A commenter brought to our attention the advertising rates offered by What I Wore and they’re…optimistic to say the least.

I’m curious if she is actually getting 5,000 dollars a month from someone to run an ad? Because I’m sure the Tea Party is looking for some sponsorship opportunities with 1984 Republican party outfit models.

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Man Repeller Teaches You How To Pose

Opinions on the uber-blogger Man Repeller can be sharply divided, but there’s one thing we can all agree on: anyone who makes fun of her own outfit photo poses by throwing her ass into the camera deserves props.

If only she could influence Emily to stop touching her damn hair.

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