Monthly Archives: May 2011

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Love Life Lace Moving Back To D.C.

Tatiana Mikhailovna, of loveliesspace, recently decided to stop blogging so much. Now we know why – she’s busy moving from La Brea or Garbage Grove or whatever town in SoCal she lives in back to Washington D.C.:

I’m so excited to finally share a secret we’ve been keeping for some time… we’re moving back home!! And we’re over the moon about it! We can’t wait to go back to our favorite city, four distinct seasons, our families, snow on Christmas and all the wonderful things that come with living on the East Coast…

We have some exciting dreams for this new chapter in our life and we can’t wait to see where this journey takes us. As Oprah said on her last episode “Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?” This idea was born from some whispers we started hearing a couple months ago, then those whispers got louder and louder, until we knew, for sure, that this was the right thing for us. It’s not going to be easy, not everyone will understand but sometimes… you just have to go with your gut.

I’ll be doing nothing but packing boxes for the next week so feel free to email me!

And in the immortal words of the great B.I.G. “California: A nice place to visit.”

Well that was quick. Moving in a week? Did she attend the Jessica Quirk School of Suddenly Moving? What is it with these bloggers? Christ I knew for over a month I was moving back to NYC. These folks all decide to move and a week later they somehow have a house, a job, thousands for a moving truck. I know she says they’ve been dreaming about it for months, but why not mention it on her blog where she is so open and honest and sharing her life?

Whatever. I guess I should be glad she’s not moving to Brooklyn.

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Jessica Quirk Misses Her Best Friend’s Birthday

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, marriage expert, expertly avoiding having to cough up some birthday sex by spending her husband/best friend’s birthday in New York City. Sometime between inhaling fried chicken with The Real Rich Tong (not one of those imposters!) and inhaling Burger King at the airport, Messica took a moment to tweet the most thoughtful, wonderful omgamazing husband EVER this heartfelt birthday wish:

Her husbandbff did not respond directly to her, choosing instead to post this sad statement:

These two have somehow combined smug obnoxious married with wow that is sad married. It’s ok Quirk! Birthdays can get you down!

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Cary Randolf Uses Fashion To Face Tragedy

Cary “I’m a WASP, I swear!” Randolph was happily pushing her “check me out in Newport, I’m totes from Newport, hanging in Newport, ps I’m white” agenda when finally someone mentioned to her that her ACTUAL place of origin had been wiped off the map. Cary rushed to show her support!

I’ve always loved that dusty outlaw look of the American West – the blue jeans,concho belts, six-shooter holsters, and tobacco-chewing bad attitude. But lately, in the aftermath of my hometown’s destruction, that love has turned into a bona fide craving.

Joplin is an outlaw town: site of Bonnie and Clyde’s infamous hideout and a legendary hitching post of Jesse James, its people are stoic, proud, and fiercely independent. Distrustful of all but the smallest government, yet warmly hospitable to any out-of-towner. “You must not be from ‘round here,” is followed by, “Need a beer?”

In this rare moment of hometown pride, I find solace in the sartorial: pull on theshit-kickers, the faded tee, and wish I had a shotgun to fire at beer cans on a Friday night. Or a wide front door to welcome everyone inside.

I’m sure Joplin, MO is just delighted that you put down your pathetic attempts to convince everyone you are east coast old money for 24 hours, just so you could have a “rare moment of hometown pride”.  That’s not at all uppity and condescending or anything, Mandolph.

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Can Pantene Please Sponsor Jen Already?

So I’ve been putting off commenting on this mess called Jen Whatsername‘s hair for a while now. I guess I keep hoping she will figure out where split ends come from and either invest in some Pro-Mend or go get a damn trim already.

Since it seems (between using her special blender to make baby food and playing dress up in too short clothing) she hasn’t had time to do the google and figure out why her hair looks like it has a beaver living in it, I thought GOMIBLOG could help her out.

BUY SOME DAMN CONDITIONER AND TRIM YOUR DAMN HAIR. There is no damn excuse for your hair to look like you set it on fire every morning. You’re welcome!

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Jordan Reid Doesn’t Care What People Think Except When She Does

Jordan Reid, pregnant and wearing what she wants by God, doesn’t care what you think of her outfits. Except, ya know, when people who are not GOMIBLOG think stuff about her outfits:

This Foley & Corinna crepe de chine tunic (on sale right now, FYI) is my kind of cocktail dress: gorgeous…and comfortable. That draping in the front also takes care of the Pregnant-Lady-In-A-Bar issue nicely…

Oh so now she cares what random strangers think of her being pregnant in stripper heels and a glorified kimono sipping seltzer in a bar? What happened to that “screw the haterz” attitude she was sooooo proud of a few days ago?

For all her smiles and I AM A JOYOUS GIVER OF LIFE crap, something tells me Jordan kind of hates being pregnant, or at least the unsexy getting huge part of it. She seemingly tries to camouflage it at every opportunity, and mentioned some ridiculous “people are staring at my belly on the subway” crap. I mean…fine, whatever, nobody has to love being a life oven, and I’d rather her covering it up than showing us her labia.

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Love Life Lace Posts tl;dr Flounce

Twatiana, of lovelifelace.com, is “simplifying” her life. This apparently includes streamlining her failblog of fakery into a more “organic” blog:

On to the TL;DR…

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Jessica Schroeder Quirk Finally Gets Some Down Time

Messica, inventor of posting pics of yourself in clothes to the internet and author of a soon to be bestselling book, kicked off her weekend early today:

Hand sewing on the porch with a glass of red! This weekend is off to an early start!about 3 hours ago via web

I know I’m not really one to talk here considering my work situation, but can’t her weekend technically start any day, any time? It’s not like she has a 40 hour a week office job that she plods through, counting the minutes until 5pm Friday. I don’t get her constant excitement over how it’s finally the weekend! Weekend at last! When you work from home 90% of the time, pretty much every day is Saturday. Calm down, woman.

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