Monthly Archives: May 2011

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David Karp Will Tell You How To Run A Company

I know Lancelle has posted about David Karp, check him out he’s David Karp, and how he recently babbled on to Inc. Magazine about how he runs his LiveJournal ripoff, tumblr. But in the interest of fair and balanced snark, let’s not forget he had some good ideas in there too! Sit down and learn something, kids. This is some gold advice.

When I get to the office, I go through my inbox first and try to respond right away. Then I go through my Unsorted folder, but I respond to very few of those. I’ve found that if you’re not responsive to e-mail, it trains people to leave you alone.

Actually, it trains people to think you’re a self-important asshole.

I get most of my news from my Tumblr dashboard. I used to be a 24-hour news consumer, but so much of the reporting is bad these days. I find tech reporting incredibly tedious and dull. And I’ve kind of given up on reading anything that anyone writes about Tumblr. It’s often inaccurate.

If you ever wondered why Billy Blissington up there seems so unaware that tumblr has any problems, it might be because he doesn’t read any email that isn’t from other employees or his girlfriend, and he sticks his head in the dirt and ignores any criticism. Or maybe it’s because he and his hipster accessory girlfriend are busy driving Porsches:

One of my favorite things to do on the weekend is take road trips. I just joined the Classic Car Club in Manhattan. You pay an annual fee, which gives you access to all these cool cars. My girlfriend and I took a 1996 Porsche 993 Carrera 4S up to Montreal one weekend. It was amazing. We’ve also taken trips to Boston and Maine.

Just what Manhattan needs – another rich 24 year old driving around in expensive cars.

And in case you wondered, there won’t be any live webcam sex shows from the hipster king and queen of New York:

We have a rule: no laptops in the bedroom. Being on computers all the time makes me feel gross.

Yes another tl;dr round of insights from David Karp. Ignore your email, get all your news from tumblr, and spend that money!

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David Karp Admits To Buying Toys With VC Money

Not that we didn’t already know that.

In a list of his favorite tech tools for Inc., he said of his Leica M9 camera [emphasis added]:

I always carry my camera with me. After our last round of financing, I bought my dream camera, a Leica M9. It’s ungodly expensive—it costs $7,000 without lenses. But it’s the smallest digital camera they make with a full sensor. I post lots of photos on my blog, and I actually took most of the Tumblr employee photos.

Financing: the gift that keeps on giving.

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Jessica Quirk Has Not Posted An Outfit In 10 Days

Good thing I’m here to help her out, bien sur.

Alors, those were the days. Now, please excusez-moi. I need to go finish making my scarf of balls.

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Love Life Lace Moving Back To D.C.

Tatiana Mikhailovna, of loveliesspace, recently decided to stop blogging so much. Now we know why – she’s busy moving from La Brea or Garbage Grove or whatever town in SoCal she lives in back to Washington D.C.:

I’m so excited to finally share a secret we’ve been keeping for some time… we’re moving back home!! And we’re over the moon about it! We can’t wait to go back to our favorite city, four distinct seasons, our families, snow on Christmas and all the wonderful things that come with living on the East Coast…

We have some exciting dreams for this new chapter in our life and we can’t wait to see where this journey takes us. As Oprah said on her last episode “Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?” This idea was born from some whispers we started hearing a couple months ago, then those whispers got louder and louder, until we knew, for sure, that this was the right thing for us. It’s not going to be easy, not everyone will understand but sometimes… you just have to go with your gut.

I’ll be doing nothing but packing boxes for the next week so feel free to email me!

And in the immortal words of the great B.I.G. “California: A nice place to visit.”

Well that was quick. Moving in a week? Did she attend the Jessica Quirk School of Suddenly Moving? What is it with these bloggers? Christ I knew for over a month I was moving back to NYC. These folks all decide to move and a week later they somehow have a house, a job, thousands for a moving truck. I know she says they’ve been dreaming about it for months, but why not mention it on her blog where she is so open and honest and sharing her life?

Whatever. I guess I should be glad she’s not moving to Brooklyn.

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Jessica Quirk Misses Her Best Friend’s Birthday

Jessica Schroeder Quirk, marriage expert, expertly avoiding having to cough up some birthday sex by spending her husband/best friend’s birthday in New York City. Sometime between inhaling fried chicken with The Real Rich Tong (not one of those imposters!) and inhaling Burger King at the airport, Messica took a moment to tweet the most thoughtful, wonderful omgamazing husband EVER this heartfelt birthday wish:

Her husbandbff did not respond directly to her, choosing instead to post this sad statement:

These two have somehow combined smug obnoxious married with wow that is sad married. It’s ok Quirk! Birthdays can get you down!

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Cary Randolf Uses Fashion To Face Tragedy

Cary “I’m a WASP, I swear!” Randolph was happily pushing her “check me out in Newport, I’m totes from Newport, hanging in Newport, ps I’m white” agenda when finally someone mentioned to her that her ACTUAL place of origin had been wiped off the map. Cary rushed to show her support!

I’ve always loved that dusty outlaw look of the American West – the blue jeans,concho belts, six-shooter holsters, and tobacco-chewing bad attitude. But lately, in the aftermath of my hometown’s destruction, that love has turned into a bona fide craving.

Joplin is an outlaw town: site of Bonnie and Clyde’s infamous hideout and a legendary hitching post of Jesse James, its people are stoic, proud, and fiercely independent. Distrustful of all but the smallest government, yet warmly hospitable to any out-of-towner. “You must not be from ‘round here,” is followed by, “Need a beer?”

In this rare moment of hometown pride, I find solace in the sartorial: pull on theshit-kickers, the faded tee, and wish I had a shotgun to fire at beer cans on a Friday night. Or a wide front door to welcome everyone inside.

I’m sure Joplin, MO is just delighted that you put down your pathetic attempts to convince everyone you are east coast old money for 24 hours, just so you could have a “rare moment of hometown pride”.  That’s not at all uppity and condescending or anything, Mandolph.

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Tory Burch Is Not Jessica Quirk’s BFF

Over in Jessica Quirk Land, she and Tory Burch are inseparable buddies.

My and my bestie, Tory, side by side ;)

She wrapped up a photo shoot in NYC a few minutes ago, tweeting this:

That shoot is a wrap!  Can’t spill what for yet, but it was an amazing day.  Now – to nap or shop?

Jessica! I’m ashamed of you. Napping and shopping? You should give your friend Tory a call while you’re in town. I’m sure she’d love to see you!

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Can Pantene Please Sponsor Jen Already?

So I’ve been putting off commenting on this mess called Jen Whatsername‘s hair for a while now. I guess I keep hoping she will figure out where split ends come from and either invest in some Pro-Mend or go get a damn trim already.

Since it seems (between using her special blender to make baby food and playing dress up in too short clothing) she hasn’t had time to do the google and figure out why her hair looks like it has a beaver living in it, I thought GOMI could help her out.

BUY SOME DAMN CONDITIONER AND TRIM YOUR DAMN HAIR. There is no damn excuse for your hair to look like you set it on fire every morning. You’re welcome!

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Jordan Reid Doesn’t Care What People Think Except When She Does

Jordan Reid, pregnant and wearing what she wants by God, doesn’t care what you think of her outfits. Except, ya know, when people who are not GOMI think stuff about her outfits:

This Foley & Corinna crepe de chine tunic (on sale right now, FYI) is my kind of cocktail dress: gorgeous…and comfortable. That draping in the front also takes care of the Pregnant-Lady-In-A-Bar issue nicely…

Oh so now she cares what random strangers think of her being pregnant in stripper heels and a glorified kimono sipping seltzer in a bar? What happened to that “screw the haterz” attitude she was sooooo proud of a few days ago?

For all her smiles and I AM A JOYOUS GIVER OF LIFE crap, something tells me Jordan kind of hates being pregnant, or at least the unsexy getting huge part of it. She seemingly tries to camouflage it at every opportunity, and mentioned some ridiculous “people are staring at my belly on the subway” crap. I mean…fine, whatever, nobody has to love being a life oven, and I’d rather her covering it up than showing us her labia.

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Emphasis Added Wastes No Time In Pimping Out Her Spawn

Somewhere, pregnant shillmeister bloggers are taking notes on the Art of the Deal Featuring Emphasis Added’s Young Spawnlet. Wasting no time, Emily has secured Hazel’s First Gig (her words, not mine) promoting Huggies diapers.

Oh, and just to make sure the FTC doesn’t come calling:

Disclosure: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote Huggies® Little Movers Diapers.  I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about my family’s own experiences from my son/daughter’s point of view, and/or their experiences with diapers.  However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive comments.

Also:

So check out Highchair Critics for weekly Hazel Head Bow-to-Toes, Toddler Fashion Police Posts and some denim diaper love on the Huggies Virtual Runway.

Toddler Fashion Police. TODDLER FASHION POLICE. Have at it, cat ladies.

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The Best Jessica Quirk Has Ever Looked

So chic! So slim! So pigeon-toed! So…hidden!

I know it’s all about the umbrella, but why u so shy, Jess? Why u hide behind umbreller?

She also wrote this [emphasis added]:

Who wasn’t smitten with the most Shop Ruche* lookbook? I was especially taken with a black and white number shown with a vintage umbrella… so I made my own!

I have to tell you…I wasn’t smitten with the most Shop Ruche myself. Sometimes I am smitten with the least of Shop Ruche, but I’ve never decided to make my own based on a little number seen in the most lookbook.

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Love Life Lace Posts tl;dr Flounce

Twatiana, of lovelifelace.com, is “simplifying” her life. This apparently includes streamlining her failblog of fakery into a more “organic” blog:

On to the TL;DR…

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Independent Fashion Bloggers Takes Shit Way Too Seriously

Independent Fashion Bloggers tends to take EVERYTHING way too seriously, but a recent article about blogger etiquette showed just how out of touch fashion bloggers can be.

In the Crash Course on Blogger Etiquette, IFB had the following advice about comments (giving and receiving them):

I usually go by this rule: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all…For example: You see someone wearing an outfit you don’t like because you think it’s too revealing. Here are some polite ways to deal with this: Don’t leave a comment at all.
Is there anything you like about the outfit? Focus on that. You could say, “Nice shoes!” for example. Do you simply have to mention the short hemline? Try this: “Wow, you are so bold for being able to wear something so short in public! I could never pull that off myself, but it’s great to see people taking risks like that.”

GUYS. THIS IS BASICALLY A GUIDE TO BECOMING A MEMBER OF MESSICA’S COMMENTER HORDE.

Okay, aside from the fact that this is a field guide to becoming a What I Wore commenter, this article also fails to mention that comments like these are boring, repetitive, unproductive and exist solely to boost the ego of whoever is on the receiving end of the comment.

BUT. The cringeworthy etiquette tips don’t stop there.

A person who writes a negative comment is usually just jealous. I know it’s hard to take a negative comment as a compliment, but if someone has taken the time to let you know how they feel, they must feel quite strongly about the issue. If you receive one, you should delete it or ignore it.

Hold up. Now they’re trying to spin negative comments as compliments?! At least they’re all in the S.S. Delusion Factory together, weathering the stormy seas of the evil, mean, jealous commenters.

Whatever losers!

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