Monthly Archives: April 2012

Mommy Blogging

Heather Armstrong Strongarms GOMI

Before anyone asks where the Post Of A Million Outrages went, it has been removed. As she promised, Dooce has had a lawyer send a letter to me and my hosting company threatening litigation over the rumors of her filming a YouTube show in LA.

I was made to feel threatened by the next to last paragraph, which in my opinion implied that I could just make this all go away if I would reveal my source:

Since I refuse to do this without the permission of my tipster or a court order, I have removed the disputed post. The communication stated I am also “liable for all damages and injury flowing from such a publication”; I’m going to assume this means anything from hurt feelings to falling pageviews.

I have now stated multiple times that reporting on Dooce has no malicious intent. My opinions are just that – my opinions. As far as some pattern of attack or whatever, that’s ridiculous; Dooce is a celebrity, and my previous posts about her are commentary and reporting on information publicly posted by her and her husband and are reported as news, not a planned attack. Since roughly 9 posts out of over 1,400 on GOMIBLOG are about Dooce, I’m not sure how that constitutes some malicious repeated long term attempt to disparage her, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m not revealing my source. They are free to come forward themselves and ask me for her lawyers information if they choose to show they exist. The rest of you are free to assume whatever you want in regards to their existence.

For the record this whole thing could have been avoided by a simple email to me saying my sources were incorrect and could I please remove the post, and I would have, and quickly put up a post with her denial and a statement that I only posted what my source sent me and they could have been wrong. I would have even apologised. Instead she chose to go this very aggressive, public route.

Anyway, that’s that. The post is no longer public, Heather’s lawyer says she wasn’t doing anything with YouTube so presumably my source was incorrect, and as far I’m concerned this is over. Can we please all move on now and get back to making fun of Brit’s yoga mats and speculating on the state of Messicas uterus?


Healthy Living Blogging

De-stressing, Carrots ‘n’ Cake Style

Tina of Carrots ‘n’ Cake has been struggling with colitis for a while now. Those of us who were concerned that her recent cruise to Mexico would be ruined by her intestines can rest easy. Despite drinking a ton and eating like crap, Tina’s bowels were completely silent during her whole trip! It turns out the doctor was right: stress does contribute to her flareups. Who knew?

Now that Tina has decided her life of drinking iced coffee, going to CrossFit, watching Ellen, and hanging out with her pug, is far too stressful she has reached out to her readers for help. What suggestions do they have on how to de-stress? After all, Tina is “willing to try just about anything!” In the comments we will discover two parties: one of logic and one of idiocy.

Those thinking reasonably are suggesting the usual suspects like taking a bath, going for a walk, or sitting in a park.. The less logical ideas are where we find the real gems. Kellie notes, “ I’m trying harder to allow myself a beer here and there to calm down, even if it’s 4:30 p.m. on a Monday. I used to tell myself there was no reason for that “need” during the week. Although it isn’t a need, it’s a great tool to make me sit down and soak up life for a few minutes before getting on to the next task.” Great idea Kellie, alcohol is known to be very good for an inflamed colon. Nobody I know has “stomach issues” following a heavy night of drinking.

Shana notes that, much like parenting, bloggers “NEVER get a day off!” The stress of blogging just piles up, exactly  just like the stress of taking care of a child. We all know that reading e-mails, writing posts, and maintaining your twitter feed are exactly like feeding and caring for a child. You definitely can’t just not read your e-mail or only write two posts in one day like you could “forget” to give your kid dinner. Shana recommends more “blogsitters” so that Tina can take more time off. I don’t know, why not just not blog for a day or two instead? I think we’ll live without another post on how you drank iced coffee and went to CrossFit.

Rebecca, who blogs at Blueberry Smiles, had my favorite suggestion of all. ”This might sound silly, but have you ever thought of hiring an unpaid intern for a few hours a week? You could delegate the more monotonous tasks like helping with email flow, etc and I’m positive there are tons of college kids in your area who would live to help. When I’m totally swamped at work, interns are a lifesaver.” Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of college kids who would live to help Tina with her monotonous tasks. What a great addition to their resume; future employers will be thrilled to discover that they are able to handle someone else’s “email flow.” I guess it’s not that bad of a suggestion as long as they get some college credit for it. Everybody has to start somewhere!

The fact that there are people out there who think it’s reasonable to compare blogging to parenting, that bloggers could actually require interns to get through their workloads, or that there are those who hand out pseudo medical advice like drinking beer to help one’s colitis, depresses me to no end. It’s even more infuriating that some bloggers think they have stressful lives and stressful jobs. I understand that we don’t know exactly what goes on behind the scenes; however, some enlightenment might do readers a bit of good. You can tell me you have a busy day all you want, but when all I see on the blog is a dog walk and a workout then I’m going to have to call you a liar.


Fashion Blogging

Messica’s Maternity Dress Confuses Readers

Jessica Quirk, married, is sparking baby speculation once again. Her post from last Wednesday (how often does she blog anymore?) features Messica in a typical black maxi dress from Target. Unremarkable, except her readers are buzzing that the dress is a maternity dress.

Apparently the dress is a Liz Lange maternity dress from Target. Why would Messica wear a maternity dress unless she is pregnant? Is this a thing now, wearing maternity clothes for no reason? I get that they are comfortable and all but considering how size tag conscious she has been in the past you would think she wouldn’t want anything that implies “egg burgers and beer gut” going on her body.

Honestly I do wish she would just hurry up and pop out a kid already, and start ‘lifestyle’ blogging like her peers are doing. ‘Personal style’ blogs are a dying niche, Messica! Time to move into the next blogging trend! Oh well, I’m sure she will hop on this trend the way she hops on all the other trends. Meaning, a year behind everyone else.


Internets Is Now A For Real & Co.

Brit Morin, the 2012 GOMIBLOG Award winner in the DIY Bloggers category, has decided to take her “business” into full Unicorn Club mode. No longer wagon hitching on the “hellosomething” trend, she has now upgraded to the more important sounding “Brit & Co.” And what amazingly professional reasons does she give for the change?

a) We are a growing team here, and though the company is indeed led by Brit herself, the “& Co.” is much more reflective of the growing pod of awesome contributors on staff. See a few photos of our contributing team above. (Psst, want to be a contributor? Submit a proposal.)
b) As much as we love Hello Kitty, it was awkward to have a similar brand name as a fictional Japanese animal.
c) We have always been obsessed with Tiffany & Co. (Fact: Brit’s mom almost named her Tiffany before she was born. It’s true! You can ask her.)
d) Our domain name is now much shorter, making it easier to include links in tweets. Stay tuned for the URL shortener! ;)
e) HelloBrit? Hello Brit? Hello, Brit!? We know… it was weird.

Well sure, being “obsessed with Tiffany & Co” is an incredibly valid reason to rebrand into a company name that sounds like a Young Adult book series. In case you are worried that the site may no longer provide bored women everywhere with pointless pre-school level time killers, Brit wants you to know that they are  ”excited to continue bringing you guys all the same daily tips and shortcuts for creative, savvy living”. Whew, that’s a relief! I’d hate for the internet to miss out on all that “savvy” creativity.


Internets The Golden Hammys

Presenting The 2012 GOMI Award Winners

Voting has closed, and you have spoken. With 20,574 votes cast over 8 categories, I’d say you guys did pretty well with getting your votes in. Thanks to all of you who voted, and now, the winners:

Fashion Blogger- Jessica Quirk, of

DIY Blogger –

Food Blogger – KERF,

Healthy Living Blogger – KERF,

Lifestyle Blogger – Gala Darling,

Mommy Blogger – Jenna Cole,

Running Blogger – Caitlin,

Lifetime Failchievement – KERF,

I was really surprised that KERF won the Lifetime award – I really felt there were other worthier nominees. I was also happy that in the end, That Wife pulled past BERF in the Mommy Blogging category. I’ve decided next year nominees will be in ONE category only – it’s sadly monotonous that KERF won just about everything.

Feel free to discuss below! I hope you all had as much fun as I did. And congrats to the winners – you earned it!


Mommy Blogging

Dooce Returns And She’s Totally Fine Now

Dooce has returned from her not-quite-a-week blog break to announce “everything is okay“:

How am I doing? Well, I asked you first. But if you really want to know, I’m hanging in there. What does that mean? Hm. I guess I’m doing okay. I’m focusing on today, this hour, this word. I try not to think about tomorrow or the day after that because sometimes when I lift my eyes and stare straight ahead I see miles and miles of fire. Flames stretching so far that they hide the entire sky. I see waves of terrifying, oppressive heat spilling out across every inch of ground in front of me. And then panic swells in my lungs, that old familiar rush of anxiety and dread and certainty that the world is going to fall apart. So I look back down at my hands, at this word. And this word. And this one. And everything is okay.

Right now I know which end is up. This end, this one right here. This is up.

Um…yeah…she sounds totally fine. That week off really refreshed her, clearly. Now I’m not some regular, long time reader of “Mommy Doocest” so someone help me out – is this sort of post normal for her? Because maybe I’m just a boring person without enough emotional turmoil to consider this totally normal and “ok”. From where I sit it sounds like the woman is going completely crackers in slow motion.

I am curious to know what her estranged husband, father of the children still living with her, thinks when he reads posts like this. I like to think he hops in his car and drives over to offer to watch those kids for a few days. Let’s hope.



HelloBrit Presents A Creative And Original DIY That Has Never Been Seen Before, the innovative website created by Brit Morin, has already given the world an amazing diet plan and yoga mat crafting. With a constant stream of brilliant projects pouring forth you might think they are running out of original ideas. You would think correctly.

HelloBrit has posted a DIY titled “Nuts N’ Nylon Necklaces“:

One of our favorite places for creative inspiration is the hardware store, and today we’ll turn a couple inexpensive hardware store basics into bright, bold pieces of softwear. ;)

And what is this incredible necklace? Hex nuts knotted onto nylon. Unfortunately that trend is about a year too late and has already been beaten into the ground by other bloggers again and again and again and again. You can even browse page after page of hex nut necklaces on Etsy.

Someone please remind me how people are making a living regurgitating content this way? I mean HelloBrit is even hiring people. I just want an explanation as to what, exactly, her site is supposed to be contributing to the internet other than a rich wife wanting a vanity make believe job. Because so far HelloBrit looks like some kind of hipster TeenVogue or something, complete with scented glitter pens and Zooey obsession.

Honestly is anyone besides Brit’s friends really looking at that site and thinking that resurrecting tired trends is awesome and you-go-girl worthy? I mean…Brit “Headquarters” can’t possibly think they just stumbled on something amazingly creative with this project…right? Please say I’m right or I will hate the internets for the rest of the day.


Fashion Blogging

Delightfully Tacky Will Change Her Mind

Delightfully Tacky, looking more “Alanis Morissette The So-Called Chaos Years” every day, posted back on the 11th about selecting some crazy summer lipstick shades. She highlighted several lipsticks from that Lime Crime company but then ended her post with a weird disclaimer:

*I wasn’t planning on buying from LimeCrime (I’d much rather be able to try on shades before purchasing), but after reading some interesting reviews of LimeCrime, I definitely am sketched out and don’t feel comfortable endorsing their line.  Do your own research to find out if you feel comfortable buying from them!*

Cut to 8 days later and she’s tweeting about the awesome lipstick by a company she doesn’t “feel comfortable endorsing”:


So what happened, did the company send her some free lipstick and suddenly all her misgivings were wiped away? I wish bloggers would at least provide some kind of explanation for their about-face maneuvers over companies and products. If you get other information to explain or contradict the things that made you uncomfortable with a company, then say so. Otherwise we all just have to assume that your opinion is for sale to whoever sends you free product – not a good way to build reader trust.


Mommy Blogging

Dooce Finally Taking A Blogging Break

In an announcement whose time came long ago, Dooce is at last stepping away from her keyboard:

My well is totally dry. I’m just… spent. Physically. Emotionally…I need to take a break before I surrender to the exhaustion. I need to fill up my tank so that I can give more to my family and find more moments of peace. My girls deserve that…

She defends the constant reblogging pics of her bff Cami (despite her readers saying “enough of Cami already”) by claiming “they make me happy”, and says that “making playlists have been my therapy”. She then complains about how haaaaaaaaaaaard it is to be Dooce.

I know it seems like I’m just posting a picture or two here, a written post there, a link to a video. But there is so much more going on behind the scenes that I’m having a hard time keeping my head above water.

Ok correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t she have like…2 people she pays to do “behind the scenes” stuff FOR her? What’s wrong, is Jon no longer being her 24 hour on call web admin beyotch? Is she having to open her own mail now? Are the lawyers having a hard time dividing up the assets? Is she tired of the kids asking where’s daddy?? What? Specifics, woman, we need them, otherwise you don’t get to complain when we theorize and assume things.

Anyway, after some paddling in her pity canoe up the river of Woe Is Me, she finally gets to the point:

All of this is to tell you that I’m going to take a little breather for the next week. I’ll still be posting photos of the things that bring me joy, but in terms of written posts I’m going to pull some things from the eleven years of archives I have sitting around.

So basically Dooce readers can look forward to a week of Reblogging Cami and recycled posts while Heather makes playlists – and hopefully re-evaluates why it is she is still doing this. Maybe it’s time to retire the blog and just write books, or move on to consulting already, lady. When the well dries up you dig a new well, you don’t take a week off and hope the water table magically changes. I mean, I understand that she feels obligated to continue her site because she uses it to  ”support not only my family but two employees who use this job to pay their rent”, but maybe it’s time to lose extra expenditures and switch careers.

At least she is finally acknowledging she needs to step away from, if only temporarily.


Lifestyle Blogging

Gala Darling Proves That Blogging Is Hard

Gala Darling, happiness expert and GOMIBLOG Awards nominee in the Lifestyle Blogging category, has claimed she makes upwards of 100,000 dollars a year from her blog. She’s so famous and busy she even has a personal photographer/intern.

So if her blog is her business and income, why is she recycling posts? For instance, back in August, she posted a link for “The Ultimate Guide To Making Your Period Suck Less!” to her tumblr:

Then last week, it appears on her blog again, conveniently redated to appear new:

Is this what “professional blogging” is about now? Just recyclying your old content over and over? It’s crap like this that makes people give side eye to people who complain about how blogging is so hard, and how it’s so stressful to come up with content all the time.

Listen, bloggers: It’s great to have a post that you really loved. Reference it when you revisit the topic in a new post, don’t just change the date to make it appear new. That’s lazy and manipulative.


Healthy Living Blogging

“Healthy Slice of Life” Will Show You How To Live On Food Stamps

Brittany, runs the blog “A Healthy Slice of Life“, has decided to prove the poors wrong. She is going to feed her family on 400 bucks a month, just to show that food stampers can eat healthy if they really really want to:

I’m not going to get all political, but to sum things up, I feel that government programs are wonderful when they are helping people who have come across hard times and need some assistance getting back up on their feet. However, I feel that too many people depend on them heavily as a way of life, not as assistance. Many times these people are also the ones buying soda and chips and complaining that it’s too expensive to eat healthy foods.

That’s right poors – Brittany is watching all of you, and knows you buy soda and chips instead of loganic produce and free trade brown rice! Wait, wait – why are you all so appalled by her little experiment? She totally understands it’s not  cheap to buy healthy food. Seriously you guys are just taking her post the wrong way! All she meant was, she likes a “good challenge”:

[B]asically it was said that is was too difficult to eat healthy foods for every meal with the amount of money one receives through the EBT program. BAM. Consider my interest piqued. I love a good challenge. I decided that I could do it. I could feed David, Hailey and me a healthy diet for a week on only the amount of money allocated to a family of 3 via EBT.

You know what folks, if you want to lower your grocery budgets and eat on the cheap that’s fine. Commendable, even. But I really wish bloggers would stop trying to prove that all those folks on EBT sit around eating junk food and drinking 40′s, and that they all just choose to be unhealthy.

Sorry but if you are an upper middle class white lady in the suburbs of North Carolina, your attitude of ‘if I can do it, so can they’ is just beyond snotty. The inner city poor do not have a nice SUV to pack up all their cheap fresh veggies from Costco before preparing them in their nice little kitchen. Please stop acting like ‘well they should just buy vegetables and lean meats and whole grains!’ is the final answer for what is going on nutritionally with those using government assistance, and get back to stressing about the farmer’s market being out of kale.


Lifestyle Blogging

Bleubird Vintage Announces Sponsored Baby

About a frigging month after GOMIBLOGers knew about it, Miss James of Bleubird Vintage (and GOMIBLOG Award nominee in the Mommy Bloggers category) has announced she is indeed pregnant.

In celebration of little Revenue Stream, Miss James first alerted sponsors that she would soon be producing another source of blog content. Once a sponsor for her big announcement post was procured, she finally confirmed what we around here have been aware of since, oh around Valentine’s Day:

we decided it was time to spill the beans. we’re expecting baby number four this october and we couldn’t be more excited…in honor of our big news, sent me and aubrey each a beautiful new diaper bag and they are giving one lucky bleubird reader a cake bag of their choice.

to enter simply visit and comment below with which style and color of cake bag you would like to win. i will choose a winner next week. good luck! xo.

You read that correctly: Miss James announced her little Sponsored Baby with a Sponored Giveaway Post. You can’t really blame her. She’s a mommy blogger, and she has to start cashing in on her content as soon as possible. It’s not like she’s getting paid to homeschool, people. And Miss James gots ta get paid, y’all!


Mommy Blogging

Jennifer Perillo Knows All About Irony

In case some our GOMIBLOG Award nominees are complete mysteries, we will make sure to give you a bit of background about them over the next couple of weeks.

Some of  you may remember Jennifer Perillo – aka Sexy Widow Boots. She was the woman accused of improperly receiving donations back in October – the scandal that brought some fantastic back pedaling from another GOMIBLOG Awards nominee, Gluten Free Girl. Well, the whole thing was swept neatly under the rug by all involved, Widow Boots never really faced any consequences for what amounted to allegedly swindling people (evidently she remains as popular as ever), and we went back to snarking on less legally dubious affairs.

So it’s nice to see that Jennifer can still have a good laugh. At least I hope she’s being sarcastic here…

…because otherwise it’s not very funny. Thou shalt not steal, indeed. So much irony!