Monthly Archives: April 2012

Mommy Blogging

Heather Armstrong Strongarms GOMI

Before anyone asks where the Post Of A Million Outrages went, it has been removed. As she promised, Dooce has had a lawyer send a letter to me and my hosting company threatening litigation over the rumors of her filming a YouTube show in LA.

I was made to feel threatened by the next to last paragraph, which in my opinion implied that I could just make this all go away if I would reveal my source:

Since I refuse to do this without the permission of my tipster or a court order, I have removed the disputed post. The communication stated I am also “liable for all damages and injury flowing from such a publication”; I’m going to assume this means anything from hurt feelings to falling pageviews.

I have now stated multiple times that reporting on Dooce has no malicious intent. My opinions are just that – my opinions. As far as some pattern of attack or whatever, that’s ridiculous; Dooce is a celebrity, and my previous posts about her are commentary and reporting on information publicly posted by her and her husband and are reported as news, not a planned attack. Since roughly 9 posts out of over 1,400 on GOMI are about Dooce, I’m not sure how that constitutes some malicious repeated long term attempt to disparage her, but that’s neither here nor there. I’m not revealing my source. They are free to come forward themselves and ask me for her lawyers information if they choose to show they exist. The rest of you are free to assume whatever you want in regards to their existence.

For the record this whole thing could have been avoided by a simple email to me saying my sources were incorrect and could I please remove the post, and I would have, and quickly put up a post with her denial and a statement that I only posted what my source sent me and they could have been wrong. I would have even apologised. Instead she chose to go this very aggressive, public route.

Anyway, that’s that. The post is no longer public, Heather’s lawyer says she wasn’t doing anything with YouTube so presumably my source was incorrect, and as far I’m concerned this is over. Can we please all move on now and get back to making fun of Brit’s yoga mats and speculating on the state of Messicas uterus?



Healthy Living Blogging

De-stressing, Carrots ‘n’ Cake Style

Tina of Carrots ‘n’ Cake has been struggling with colitis for a while now. Those of us who were concerned that her recent cruise to Mexico would be ruined by her intestines can rest easy. Despite drinking a ton and eating like crap, Tina’s bowels were completely silent during her whole trip! It turns out the doctor was right: stress does contribute to her flareups. Who knew?

Now that Tina has decided her life of drinking iced coffee, going to CrossFit, watching Ellen, and hanging out with her pug, is far too stressful she has reached out to her readers for help. What suggestions do they have on how to de-stress? After all, Tina is “willing to try just about anything!” In the comments we will discover two parties: one of logic and one of idiocy.

Those thinking reasonably are suggesting the usual suspects like taking a bath, going for a walk, or sitting in a park.. The less logical ideas are where we find the real gems. Kellie notes, “ I’m trying harder to allow myself a beer here and there to calm down, even if it’s 4:30 p.m. on a Monday. I used to tell myself there was no reason for that “need” during the week. Although it isn’t a need, it’s a great tool to make me sit down and soak up life for a few minutes before getting on to the next task.” Great idea Kellie, alcohol is known to be very good for an inflamed colon. Nobody I know has “stomach issues” following a heavy night of drinking.

Shana notes that, much like parenting, bloggers “NEVER get a day off!” The stress of blogging just piles up, exactly  just like the stress of taking care of a child. We all know that reading e-mails, writing posts, and maintaining your twitter feed are exactly like feeding and caring for a child. You definitely can’t just not read your e-mail or only write two posts in one day like you could “forget” to give your kid dinner. Shana recommends more “blogsitters” so that Tina can take more time off. I don’t know, why not just not blog for a day or two instead? I think we’ll live without another post on how you drank iced coffee and went to CrossFit.

Rebecca, who blogs at Blueberry Smiles, had my favorite suggestion of all. ”This might sound silly, but have you ever thought of hiring an unpaid intern for a few hours a week? You could delegate the more monotonous tasks like helping with email flow, etc and I’m positive there are tons of college kids in your area who would live to help. When I’m totally swamped at work, interns are a lifesaver.” Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of college kids who would live to help Tina with her monotonous tasks. What a great addition to their resume; future employers will be thrilled to discover that they are able to handle someone else’s “email flow.” I guess it’s not that bad of a suggestion as long as they get some college credit for it. Everybody has to start somewhere!

The fact that there are people out there who think it’s reasonable to compare blogging to parenting, that bloggers could actually require interns to get through their workloads, or that there are those who hand out pseudo medical advice like drinking beer to help one’s colitis, depresses me to no end. It’s even more infuriating that some bloggers think they have stressful lives and stressful jobs. I understand that we don’t know exactly what goes on behind the scenes; however, some enlightenment might do readers a bit of good. You can tell me you have a busy day all you want, but when all I see on the blog is a dog walk and a workout then I’m going to have to call you a liar.



Fashion Blogging

Messica’s Maternity Dress Confuses Readers

Jessica Quirk, married, is sparking baby speculation once again. Her post from last Wednesday (how often does she blog anymore?) features Messica in a typical black maxi dress from Target. Unremarkable, except her readers are buzzing that the dress is a maternity dress.

Apparently the dress is a Liz Lange maternity dress from Target. Why would Messica wear a maternity dress unless she is pregnant? Is this a thing now, wearing maternity clothes for no reason? I get that they are comfortable and all but considering how size tag conscious she has been in the past you would think she wouldn’t want anything that implies “egg burgers and beer gut” going on her body.

Honestly I do wish she would just hurry up and pop out a kid already, and start ‘lifestyle’ blogging like her peers are doing. ‘Personal style’ blogs are a dying niche, Messica! Time to move into the next blogging trend! Oh well, I’m sure she will hop on this trend the way she hops on all the other trends. Meaning, a year behind everyone else.



Internets Is Now A For Real & Co.

Brit Morin, the 2012 GOMI Award winner in the DIY Bloggers category, has decided to take her “business” into full Unicorn Club mode. No longer wagon hitching on the “hellosomething” trend, she has now upgraded to the more important sounding “Brit & Co.” And what amazingly professional reasons does she give for the change?

a) We are a growing team here, and though the company is indeed led by Brit herself, the “& Co.” is much more reflective of the growing pod of awesome contributors on staff. See a few photos of our contributing team above. (Psst, want to be a contributor? Submit a proposal.)
b) As much as we love Hello Kitty, it was awkward to have a similar brand name as a fictional Japanese animal.
c) We have always been obsessed with Tiffany & Co. (Fact: Brit’s mom almost named her Tiffany before she was born. It’s true! You can ask her.)
d) Our domain name is now much shorter, making it easier to include links in tweets. Stay tuned for the URL shortener! ;)
e) HelloBrit? Hello Brit? Hello, Brit!? We know… it was weird.

Well sure, being “obsessed with Tiffany & Co” is an incredibly valid reason to rebrand into a company name that sounds like a Young Adult book series. In case you are worried that the site may no longer provide bored women everywhere with pointless pre-school level time killers, Brit wants you to know that they are  ”excited to continue bringing you guys all the same daily tips and shortcuts for creative, savvy living”. Whew, that’s a relief! I’d hate for the internet to miss out on all that “savvy” creativity.



Internets The Golden Hammys

Presenting The 2012 GOMI Award Winners

Voting has closed, and you have spoken. With 20,574 votes cast over 8 categories, I’d say you guys did pretty well with getting your votes in. Thanks to all of you who voted, and now, the winners:

Fashion Blogger- Jessica Quirk, of

DIY Blogger –

Food Blogger – KERF,

Healthy Living Blogger – KERF,

Lifestyle Blogger – Gala Darling,

Mommy Blogger – Jenna Cole,

Running Blogger – Caitlin,

Lifetime Failchievement – KERF,

I was really surprised that KERF won the Lifetime award – I really felt there were other worthier nominees. I was also happy that in the end, That Wife pulled past BERF in the Mommy Blogging category. I’ve decided next year nominees will be in ONE category only – it’s sadly monotonous that KERF won just about everything.

Feel free to discuss below! I hope you all had as much fun as I did. And congrats to the winners – you earned it!



Internets The Golden Hammys

2012 GOMI Awards: Only One Day Left To Vote

Voting in the 2012 GOMI Awards ends at midnight Thursday.  Get your votes in now.

And don’t forget, Friday night the GOMI Awards Drinking Party will begin at 6pm at Destination Bar. I didn’t reserve the bar or anything, so it’s open invite and it won’t just be all GOMI people. Come alone, bring a friend, just don’t bring a knife. You are welcome to show up whenever and leave whenever, I know you all have cats or bags of Cheetos to get home to.  There will be round table trivia, 10 obscure questions about someone GOMI has covered – and there will be prizes for the correct answers. Come as you are attire. There is no step and repeat thing, sorry famewh*res.

For those of you who asked, I will not be providing hotels for people who want to come into town for this non-event. If you need a place to crash for the night, email me though. We can work something out in private. Unless you are the person who emailed me with plans to kill me:

I see youre having an event not very wise Alice. I live in New York and I still have that knife.

You I will not be helping. Everyone else who plans to attend, can’t wait to see you. Now excuse me while I go find a chainmail cardigan to wear.



Mommy Blogging

Dooce Returns And She’s Totally Fine Now

Dooce has returned from her not-quite-a-week blog break to announce “everything is okay“:

How am I doing? Well, I asked you first. But if you really want to know, I’m hanging in there. What does that mean? Hm. I guess I’m doing okay. I’m focusing on today, this hour, this word. I try not to think about tomorrow or the day after that because sometimes when I lift my eyes and stare straight ahead I see miles and miles of fire. Flames stretching so far that they hide the entire sky. I see waves of terrifying, oppressive heat spilling out across every inch of ground in front of me. And then panic swells in my lungs, that old familiar rush of anxiety and dread and certainty that the world is going to fall apart. So I look back down at my hands, at this word. And this word. And this one. And everything is okay.

Right now I know which end is up. This end, this one right here. This is up.

Um…yeah…she sounds totally fine. That week off really refreshed her, clearly. Now I’m not some regular, long time reader of “Mommy Doocest” so someone help me out – is this sort of post normal for her? Because maybe I’m just a boring person without enough emotional turmoil to consider this totally normal and “ok”. From where I sit it sounds like the woman is going completely crackers in slow motion.

I am curious to know what her estranged husband, father of the children still living with her, thinks when he reads posts like this. I like to think he hops in his car and drives over to offer to watch those kids for a few days. Let’s hope.




HelloBrit Presents A Creative And Original DIY That Has Never Been Seen Before, the innovative website created by Brit Morin, has already given the world an amazing diet plan and yoga mat crafting. With a constant stream of brilliant projects pouring forth you might think they are running out of original ideas. You would think correctly.

HelloBrit has posted a DIY titled “Nuts N’ Nylon Necklaces“:

One of our favorite places for creative inspiration is the hardware store, and today we’ll turn a couple inexpensive hardware store basics into bright, bold pieces of softwear. ;)

And what is this incredible necklace? Hex nuts knotted onto nylon. Unfortunately that trend is about a year too late and has already been beaten into the ground by other bloggers again and again and again and again. You can even browse page after page of hex nut necklaces on Etsy.

Someone please remind me how people are making a living regurgitating content this way? I mean HelloBrit is even hiring people. I just want an explanation as to what, exactly, her site is supposed to be contributing to the internet other than a rich wife wanting a vanity make believe job. Because so far HelloBrit looks like some kind of hipster TeenVogue or something, complete with scented glitter pens and Zooey obsession.

Honestly is anyone besides Brit’s friends really looking at that site and thinking that resurrecting tired trends is awesome and you-go-girl worthy? I mean…Brit “Headquarters” can’t possibly think they just stumbled on something amazingly creative with this project…right? Please say I’m right or I will hate the internets for the rest of the day.



Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

The Daybook Litters Her Cares Away

Sydney of The Daybook has done some weird things before, but this confetti throwing photo-op really raised my well-manicured French eyebrows.

My sweet sister Jillyan sent us a care package yesterday filled with our favorite candy, books for Everett and a giant bag of confetti. Attached to the confetti was a little note:

Because sometimes the best cure for anything is grabbing a handful of this stuff, throwing it in the air and yelling.

The girl knows what’s up.
And I’ll love her forever for it.

There’s something about Sydney that rubs me the wrong way and while I can’t quite put my finger on it, I do know that throwing confetti outside just to get the perfect shot for your bloggy blog is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. (And obviously we’ve seen some dumb shit around here.) I think it’s hilarious how these girls (especially the lifestyle bloggers) think the entire world is their Special Photo Studio. “Littering a shit ton of confetti outside so I can get a post up on my blog? WHY NOT?!”

Oh, and there’s been some talk about how she’s wearing more expensive c/o’d clothing since her Washingtonian column came out and that had her readers all in a tizzy. Don’t know much else about that, but thought I’d throw it out in case anyone wants to comment.



Fashion Blogging

Delightfully Tacky Will Change Her Mind

Delightfully Tacky, looking more “Alanis Morissette The So-Called Chaos Years” every day, posted back on the 11th about selecting some crazy summer lipstick shades. She highlighted several lipsticks from that Lime Crime company but then ended her post with a weird disclaimer:

*I wasn’t planning on buying from LimeCrime (I’d much rather be able to try on shades before purchasing), but after reading some interesting reviews of LimeCrime, I definitely am sketched out and don’t feel comfortable endorsing their line.  Do your own research to find out if you feel comfortable buying from them!*

Cut to 8 days later and she’s tweeting about the awesome lipstick by a company she doesn’t “feel comfortable endorsing”:


So what happened, did the company send her some free lipstick and suddenly all her misgivings were wiped away? I wish bloggers would at least provide some kind of explanation for their about-face maneuvers over companies and products. If you get other information to explain or contradict the things that made you uncomfortable with a company, then say so. Otherwise we all just have to assume that your opinion is for sale to whoever sends you free product – not a good way to build reader trust.




Valentine Uhovski Replaces Rich Tong as Tumblr’s “Fashion Evangelist”

Did they think that changing the title from Fashion Director to Evangelist would make us forget all about this? And especially this?

In an interview with, Uhovski tries to skate over a question about Rich Tong’s missteps at Tumblr.

Tumblr took some flack last fashion week for reportedly charging high fees for partnership deals during fashion week among other things–how will Tumblr approach fashion week this coming season in the wake of this?
That’s something I wasn’t involved with so it’s hard for me to answer in detail. But the reality is, that proposal was preliminary and never actually implemented. In September, Tumblr will be more relevant than ever during Fashion Week and we’re planning some amazing things. We’re based here in New York and we consult and meet our creators on the daily basis. You’ll really see that sense of community translated to all of our events and special projects.

I’m not sure what Uhovski’s definition of “implemented” is, but a “sponsorship proposal being shopped out to brands” with a Tumblr logo on it sure seems like an implemented partnership proposal to moi.

I’d love to see how Tumblr will end up being “more relevant than ever” during Fashion Week, since you could argue they haven’t been relevant at all over the past few seasons that they’ve tried to inject themselves into the proceedings. Having a few bloggers post blurry fashion show photos does not a relevant presence make.

When will Tumblr focus on actually improving their business and providing useful features to users instead of around in fashion? Their insistence on making Fashion + Tumblr happen looked desperate before with Rich Tong running the show.



Internets The Golden Hammys

2012 GOMI Awards Update

Some of you said something about having an awards party thing.

Well guess what….I like Destination Bar (go there a lot and skulk in the back, they have squishy booths ok) so I called and was all “hey I’m this asshole and want to bring like 20 people tops out to drink and and shit, is that ok?” And because they like money the bartender said hey cool, and gave us a back booth for a GOMI Awards party. (I’m going to call and confirm we all get a booth this week to make sure, but Destination Bar is awesome so we could probably just show up and as long as we are all like ‘another beer’ they’d be ok.)

I pushed back visiting my family a week so that we can do this. If you are in the New York City area on Friday, April 27th, come out to the Destination Bar anytime after 6pm (Happy Hour is 5-8 but I have this job thing so no way can I get there before 6,sorry) and hang out. This is not going to be a Alice on stage announcing shit deal – at 8pm we will just toast the winlosers and then continue talking ish.

So far I haven’t talked them into drink discounts or anything guys because I am lame and don’t ask for stuff like that. I’m just happy they’ve agreed to reserve a back booth for us, I don’t want to push it. (Maybe Peter Feld can help me out with this?) So there won’t be any PP on stage announcing things as of right now. THERE WILL BE TRIVIA. Meaning if you’re if you’re a gomer and show up my “queen of mean” ass will ask questions and the winners get drinks, on me, from my money wallet.

Anyway, there it is. This isn’t some big omg awards show deal because frankly it’s just me here and I’m too lazy to make a big dang deal out of this. But email, comment, whatever and let me know if you plan on showing so I can maybe let Destination know if I need another booth ok? It’s not required, though; I’m not anticipating more than 20 people, and anyone is free to show.  And before you get all judgey on me, yes I know I could put effort into this but let’s face it – this is not a big deal. The point of this is fun, drinks, meeting gomers, talking, drinks, drinks, talking, drinks. And some drinking.

And if you attend, casual or whateveryourewearing dress. I’ll be in a black shirt and jeans as usual, so whatever.

The GOMI Awards Drinking Party
Friday April 27th
Opens at 5pm-you’re crying or puking
at Destination Bar
Everyone and Alice means everyone Welcome



Fashion Blogging

Jessica Quirk Will DIY On A Steep Learning Curve

So, you’re sitting around and you have an old watch laying beside you and you think to yourself, “I could totally make a chevron friendship bracelet for this watch!” But, since most people have more to do all day than concoct new and exciting friendship bracelet variations, you wonder how you might go about completing this crafty craft.

FEAR NOT! Jessica Quirk has got you covered!

Her clear instructions will surely allow you to complete this beautiful friendship bracelet chevron watchy thing in no time at all! Umm…wait. What?

This project is best for DIYers who have made friendship bracelets before. If you’d like some pointers (or pattern ideas) check out this site to get started!

So DIYer, you best be a friendship bracelet EXPERT before taking on this little project since “tie your knots using a chevron pattern” may not be very helpful.

Maybe it’s better that you can’t complete this project based on her pathetic tutorial. Why? Because that watch thing is godawful, that’s why. DIYing for the sake of DIY leads to disasters like this. Oh, and this.