Monthly Archives: May 2012

Lifestyle Blogging

Kayla And Checkers Will Raise Their Babies Homeless

Kayla, the 22 year old girlfriend of some guy named “Checkers”, blogs over at “It’s Always Sunny…”. Kayla and Checkers are “homeless by choice”. They are just free living, sweet hearted hippies, taking road trips and picking up hitchhikers and smoking and loving each other. Nothing wrong with that, if that’s how you want to live.

Unfortunately this lifestyle led in a roundabout way to Kayla’s 9 month old daughter being cruelly and for no reason ripped from the arms of her homeless parents after police found pot  in their housecar! And it totally wasn’t even their pot you guys!

The 2 hitch hikers have a MEDICAL MARIJUANA CARD.  They can legally have 19 pounds at them at any given time.  (There was 2 pounds in the car).

We were ALL charged with the marijuana even though they told the cop it was THEIRS and even though it was found in THEIR suitcase.

Kayla and Checkers have been “jumping through hoops” to get her back. Even if they “will have to take some kind of parenting/drug class or something dumb”, all that matters is getting her baby back and getting back on the road before blessing number two arrives.

Yes, “house-less” Kayla and Checkers are expecting another little miracle soon. Since their housecar is evidently still in a tow yard there’s no telling where they plan on stashing two babies if their first daughter is released to them May 31st. I’m going to assume child services did plenty of checks and that the couple is at least pretending to be living in an actual place zoned for residence for the time being.

I’m not trying to be a dick when I wonder again where exactly they plan on putting two babies when they have no jobs and no place to live. People WITH jobs and homes can barely make it with two kids. How long do these two think they can pull off couch surfing with two kids and no jobs? What happens when these kids need to learn how to read and write? And is this really a thing – raising your kids “house-less”???

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Mommy Blogging

MckMama Bankruptcy Fraud Begins Reaching Critical Mass

MckMama“, some mommy blogger that filed for bankruptcy, supposedly lied about her situation to both readers and  the court. People have asked me several times to post about the situation, but I could never figure out what exactly was going on. Luckily forensic accountant Tracy Coenen has been following the story and gave us some background on why people are so angry at mckmama:

On to the TL;DR…

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Healthy Living Blogging

Kerf’s Do’s And Don’ts Of Pregnancy

Kerf, who is on vacation even though she claims to never take vacations, is currently in her 25th monumental week of pregnancy. So far she has spent her gestation analyzing every single bodily function or response that could potentially be related to her pregnancy, ranging from her incessant complaints about SI pain to the perceived movements of the fetus. Just reading her entirely separate blog devoted to chronicling every last minutia of pregnancy is exhausting, so I can only imagine how hard life can be for her. Sometimes I think all the kicking kerfetus does is just to get his mother to chill out and stop thinking so much.

Kerf has had some weird anxieties about pregnancy and as a result, some weird ideas about what one can and can’t do while pregnant. She stopped riding a bike early in pregnancy, even though

I read in Fit Pregnancy that biking is OK for pregnant women so long as they play it safe, but I’m not sure riding on roads counts as safe, so I’m choosing to abstain.

I know that Fit Pregnancy isn’t the New Yorker but I would assume they know what they’re talking about when it comes to pregnancy and exercise. However, Kerf has previously demonstrated that she trusts herself over any other form of authority or source of information so it’s not surprising she threw their advice out the window immediately. It seems she apparently decided that she was, in fact, safe enough because later posts indicate that she ends up riding her bike despite her public claim of abstention.

She then decides that she is no longer going to use the elliptical or vacuum because her yoga teacher/doula has claimed that these activities can throw the hips out of alignment, making labor more difficult. I’m going to go ahead and assume that the vast majority of healthy babies born in the history of humanity, or at least the existence of the vacuum, have been born to women who have vacuumed while pregnant. She backtracks in the comments and states that she’s vacuuming more “mindfully” and not cutting it out entirely and says she “should have worded it differently.” However, “we really don’t know how women’s activities over the years have affected labor” so it’s not as ridiculous as it sounds.

While bike riding, the elliptical, and vacuuming are all looked at suspiciously, taking a little dip in the hot tub doesn’t seem to problematic at all for Kerf who recently jumped in one at the first sign of an “issue with the weather.” Now, I’ve always been under the impression that pregnant women are strongly advised against using hot tubs and if they do decide to use them to make the dip brief and at a cooler temperature. Granted, Kerf did just that (or so she claims), but what I find remarkable is that she managed to use only one exclamation mark and didn’t follow with an anxious question about the appropriateness of using a hot tub. Maybe she finally is starting to relax; funny how vacations can do that for you.

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Lifestyle Blogging

NicoleandGwendolyn Now Shamelessly Pro-ED

Nicole Marie Story, thinks you’re fat, has long claimed her blog is about “living with” eating disorders. Till now she has confined her obvious sizeism and fat hatred to offhand remarks about the obesity problem in America or the random “you must be fat” comment to a dissenting commenter. She has stated many times that she is healthy and posts pictures of her meals (consisting of cold tofu with ketchup. Yeah.) Now it seems the mask is coming off; with this post she’s going full fat hating/thinspo/pro-ed blog…

I’m skinny, or else I would not fit into size zero jeans (patting myself on the back slightly even though they are j.crew and j.crew zeros are to me, the ‘Fat Girl Zeros’).  And I would NOT have posted Fat pictures to the article of subject either.

But regular slim is not good enough for me.

Ummm ok. That sounds totally healthy.

So how to resolve this Fat?

I could restrict.

I could get liposuction.

But I shan’t.

French Girl Leek Soups may pop their little, fashionable heads into the upcoming weeks, as might my old No-Dinner-Thursday-Rule which I canceled in November…

I’ll keep it healthy, yet EXTREME.

MY HEALTHY.  And MY EXTREME.

Off topic, I’ve now counted the word “fashionable” 4 times. Anyway, I don’t have an ED but the words “healthy” and “extreme” just don’t seem compatible when speaking about food restriction.

But that’s not good enough for me.  If I am a regular skinny girl, I am nothing.  I must be what is acceptable to me.  I must be Vogue.  I must concurrently be the best and healthiest.  And that means looking like an Orange County housewife, not a regular girl who isn’t envied for her body.

Yep, this is sounding more and more healthy. She then goes on to say she intends to look like a lollipop head within 45 days, and justifies it with some sort of weird “eff you” to mental health professionals:

And this, mademoiselle, is why there is no such thing as recovery from an eating disorder.  What I have just written is not ‘healthy’, yet it is ‘healthy’ to me.  If my body is not supreme Vogue stature, then I am nothing.  If I am nothing, then I am not healthy.  This is not ‘disordered’ to me, yet it is certainly ‘disordered’ to others.  Who sets the bar for ‘recovery’ and ‘healthy’ anyway?  We do as individuals.  The DSM is shit.

The sad part about this is the fact that there are young women who admire this person. To those girls I say I hope you read this and do not see something inspirational, unless it inspires you to get help from a professional. This woman, by equivocating and justifying her behavior and posting as if it is a reasonable plan, is (in my opinion) being irresponsible to her audience full of people who may be teetering on the verge of relapse.

This is terrible.I hope this girl gets over herself and gets some real help.

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Fashion Blogging

Camilla Combs Is A Natural Woman

Camilla Combs, aka “Cami”, is apparently more than just the person who follows dooce around doing…whatever it is she does (we assume her job is making sure The Imperial March plays whenever dooce enters a room). She is a “stylist”, “designer”, and “photographer”, and she has quite the eye for detail. From the cliche Essie polish to the meh handbag to the “lost all my money at the casinos and have to work the board walk for bus fare back to New York” shoes…


(click to enlarge)

Hm, actually those shoes are growing on me. I like how the gold tips mirror the shine of all the golden leg hair. This is so brave, right? Is keeping it real is the new personal grooming, because I haven’t really heard about this trend. Not that I really keep up with trends, but if going fallow is the new sexy I’d like to know – I like any excuse not to hoist myself into my special obesity tub and shave.

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Mommy Blogging

Project Babies Now Showcasing Her First Worldness On twitter

Project Babies’ Kristen, mental powerhouse, is widely revered for her political views. So when she tweets a golden nugget like this:

…then we should all contact the entire government and have them spend all that money on the poor people instead of themselves! Maybe if politicians weren’t selfishly wasting money on their own wants then we could take care of some of those poor people that Kristen has heard about on the internet. This spending on themselves is just shameful when there are people out there who need food! They should be ashamed of themselves, and Kristen is going to take a stand by tweeting about it.

I’m sure Kristen will be more than happy to share some ideas about how politicians can spend their money on poor folks…right after the valet at Southpark Mall finishes loading up her car.

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Mommy Blogging

Gender Reveals Becoming Increasingly Bizarre

It’s no secret – if you are pregnant and you have a blog it is practically expected of you to conceive not just a baby, but a brilliant, original, creative way to reveal the sex of your fetus. There is post after post on the internet with ideas for “gender reveal parties”; apparently it’s no longer enough to call your parents, break the news, and then have a baby shower at some point. You now need to plan an unforgettable way to tell the planet whether you are growing a penis or a vagina.

Now it’s time for Jasmine, of the “Experiment in Poverty” blog, to try her hand at impressing everyone with her OMG AWESOME “gender reveal“. Her version of this bizarre new ritual involved her guests running around South Coast Plaza mall riding the carousel, polyvorying outfits at baby GAP, chew a gumball or something….seriously it goes on and on and on. Finally after what seems like 6 hours they open a gift box to discover the baby’s sex.

On to the TL;DR…

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