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Monthly Archives: May 2012
Jessica Quirk’s attempt at yet another reinvention, That’s Quirky, is set to launch in June. To help boost future traffic to the as-yet shuttered site, she graced the public with a sneak peek of the 92-year-old hizzouse on the That’s Quirky Facebook page. Can she go from fashion has-been to lifestyle blogger extraordinaire?
Yawny yawn. I’m smelling a ripped-off combination of Rockstar Diaries (minus the spawnlets) & Young House Love on our way. From the lack of effort happening over on What I Wore, one can’t help but think that she’s going to merge the two blogs. AND, if that doesn’t work out, there’s always her witty live tweetfests of The Bachelorette to bring in the big bucks.
Kayla, the 22 year old girlfriend of some guy named “Checkers”, blogs over at “It’s Always Sunny…”. Kayla and Checkers are “homeless by choice”. They are just free living, sweet hearted hippies, taking road trips and picking up hitchhikers and smoking and loving each other. Nothing wrong with that, if that’s how you want to live.
Unfortunately this lifestyle led in a roundabout way to Kayla’s 9 month old daughter being cruelly and for no reason ripped from the arms of her homeless parents after police found pot in their housecar! And it totally wasn’t even their pot you guys!
The 2 hitch hikers have a MEDICAL MARIJUANA CARD. They can legally have 19 pounds at them at any given time. (There was 2 pounds in the car).
We were ALL charged with the marijuana even though they told the cop it was THEIRS and even though it was found in THEIR suitcase.
Kayla and Checkers have been “jumping through hoops” to get her back. Even if they “will have to take some kind of parenting/drug class or something dumb”, all that matters is getting her baby back and getting back on the road before blessing number two arrives.
Yes, “house-less” Kayla and Checkers are expecting another little miracle soon. Since their housecar is evidently still in a tow yard there’s no telling where they plan on stashing two babies if their first daughter is released to them May 31st. I’m going to assume child services did plenty of checks and that the couple is at least pretending to be living in an actual place zoned for residence for the time being.
I’m not trying to be a dick when I wonder again where exactly they plan on putting two babies when they have no jobs and no place to live. People WITH jobs and homes can barely make it with two kids. How long do these two think they can pull off couch surfing with two kids and no jobs? What happens when these kids need to learn how to read and write? And is this really a thing – raising your kids “house-less”???
“MckMama“, some mommy blogger that filed for bankruptcy, supposedly lied about her situation to both readers and the court. People have asked me several times to post about the situation, but I could never figure out what exactly was going on. Luckily forensic accountant Tracy Coenen has been following the story and gave us some background on why people are so angry at mckmama:
Kerf, who is on vacation even though she claims to never take vacations, is currently in her 25th monumental week of pregnancy. So far she has spent her gestation analyzing every single bodily function or response that could potentially be related to her pregnancy, ranging from her incessant complaints about SI pain to the perceived movements of the fetus. Just reading her entirely separate blog devoted to chronicling every last minutia of pregnancy is exhausting, so I can only imagine how hard life can be for her. Sometimes I think all the kicking kerfetus does is just to get his mother to chill out and stop thinking so much.
Kerf has had some weird anxieties about pregnancy and as a result, some weird ideas about what one can and can’t do while pregnant. She stopped riding a bike early in pregnancy, even though
I read in Fit Pregnancy that biking is OK for pregnant women so long as they play it safe, but I’m not sure riding on roads counts as safe, so I’m choosing to abstain.
I know that Fit Pregnancy isn’t the New Yorker but I would assume they know what they’re talking about when it comes to pregnancy and exercise. However, Kerf has previously demonstrated that she trusts herself over any other form of authority or source of information so it’s not surprising she threw their advice out the window immediately. It seems she apparently decided that she was, in fact, safe enough because later posts indicate that she ends up riding her bike despite her public claim of abstention.
She then decides that she is no longer going to use the elliptical or vacuum because her yoga teacher/doula has claimed that these activities can throw the hips out of alignment, making labor more difficult. I’m going to go ahead and assume that the vast majority of healthy babies born in the history of humanity, or at least the existence of the vacuum, have been born to women who have vacuumed while pregnant. She backtracks in the comments and states that she’s vacuuming more “mindfully” and not cutting it out entirely and says she “should have worded it differently.” However, “we really don’t know how women’s activities over the years have affected labor” so it’s not as ridiculous as it sounds.
While bike riding, the elliptical, and vacuuming are all looked at suspiciously, taking a little dip in the hot tub doesn’t seem to problematic at all for Kerf who recently jumped in one at the first sign of an “issue with the weather.” Now, I’ve always been under the impression that pregnant women are strongly advised against using hot tubs and if they do decide to use them to make the dip brief and at a cooler temperature. Granted, Kerf did just that (or so she claims), but what I find remarkable is that she managed to use only one exclamation mark and didn’t follow with an anxious question about the appropriateness of using a hot tub. Maybe she finally is starting to relax; funny how vacations can do that for you.
Nicole Marie Story, thinks you’re fat, has long claimed her blog is about “living with” eating disorders. Till now she has confined her obvious sizeism and fat hatred to offhand remarks about the obesity problem in America or the random “you must be fat” comment to a dissenting commenter. She has stated many times that she is healthy and posts pictures of her meals (consisting of cold tofu with ketchup. Yeah.) Now it seems the mask is coming off; with this post she’s going full fat hating/thinspo/pro-ed blog…
I’m skinny, or else I would not fit into size zero jeans (patting myself on the back slightly even though they are j.crew and j.crew zeros are to me, the ‘Fat Girl Zeros’). And I would NOT have posted Fat pictures to the article of subject either.
But regular slim is not good enough for me.
Ummm ok. That sounds totally healthy.
So how to resolve this Fat?
I could restrict.
I could get liposuction.
But I shan’t.
French Girl Leek Soups may pop their little, fashionable heads into the upcoming weeks, as might my old No-Dinner-Thursday-Rule which I canceled in November…
I’ll keep it healthy, yet EXTREME.
MY HEALTHY. And MY EXTREME.
Off topic, I’ve now counted the word “fashionable” 4 times. Anyway, I don’t have an ED but the words “healthy” and “extreme” just don’t seem compatible when speaking about food restriction.
But that’s not good enough for me. If I am a regular skinny girl, I am nothing. I must be what is acceptable to me. I must be Vogue. I must concurrently be the best and healthiest. And that means looking like an Orange County housewife, not a regular girl who isn’t envied for her body.
Yep, this is sounding more and more healthy. She then goes on to say she intends to look like a lollipop head within 45 days, and justifies it with some sort of weird “eff you” to mental health professionals:
And this, mademoiselle, is why there is no such thing as recovery from an eating disorder. What I have just written is not ‘healthy’, yet it is ‘healthy’ to me. If my body is not supreme Vogue stature, then I am nothing. If I am nothing, then I am not healthy. This is not ‘disordered’ to me, yet it is certainly ‘disordered’ to others. Who sets the bar for ‘recovery’ and ‘healthy’ anyway? We do as individuals. The DSM is shit.
The sad part about this is the fact that there are young women who admire this person. To those girls I say I hope you read this and do not see something inspirational, unless it inspires you to get help from a professional. This woman, by equivocating and justifying her behavior and posting as if it is a reasonable plan, is (in my opinion) being irresponsible to her audience full of people who may be teetering on the verge of relapse.
This is terrible.I hope this girl gets over herself and gets some real help.
Camilla Combs, aka “Cami”, is apparently more than just the person who follows dooce around doing…whatever it is she does (we assume her job is making sure The Imperial March plays whenever dooce enters a room). She is a “stylist”, “designer”, and “photographer”, and she has quite the eye for detail. From the cliche Essie polish to the meh handbag to the “lost all my money at the casinos and have to work the board walk for bus fare back to New York” shoes…
Hm, actually those shoes are growing on me. I like how the gold tips mirror the shine of all the golden leg hair. This is so brave, right? Is keeping it real is the new personal grooming, because I haven’t really heard about this trend. Not that I really keep up with trends, but if going fallow is the new sexy I’d like to know – I like any excuse not to hoist myself into my special obesity tub and shave.
…then we should all contact the entire government and have them spend all that money on the poor people instead of themselves! Maybe if politicians weren’t selfishly wasting money on their own wants then we could take care of some of those poor people that Kristen has heard about on the internet. This spending on themselves is just shameful when there are people out there who need food! They should be ashamed of themselves, and Kristen is going to take a stand by tweeting about it.
I’m sure Kristen will be more than happy to share some ideas about how politicians can spend their money on poor folks…right after the valet at Southpark Mall finishes loading up her car.
It’s no secret – if you are pregnant and you have a blog it is practically expected of you to conceive not just a baby, but a brilliant, original, creative way to reveal the sex of your fetus. There is post after post on the internet with ideas for “gender reveal parties”; apparently it’s no longer enough to call your parents, break the news, and then have a baby shower at some point. You now need to plan an unforgettable way to tell the planet whether you are growing a penis or a vagina.
Now it’s time for Jasmine, of the “Experiment in Poverty” blog, to try her hand at impressing everyone with her OMG AWESOME “gender reveal“. Her version of this bizarre new ritual involved her guests running around South Coast Plaza mall riding the carousel, polyvorying outfits at baby GAP, chew a gumball or something….seriously it goes on and on and on. Finally after what seems like 6 hours they open a gift box to discover the baby’s sex.
Bleubird Vintage, everything must be twee, has a track record of not really giving two craps about established medicine (as of January her toddler had “never been to the doctor“.) That may have to change soon since the addition of her new photo accessories.
i wanted to give you all an update on our chicken keeping. we are still enjoying every minute of it. all five of our hens are alive and well and seem to be extremely healthy.
They may appear healthy but the CDC still warns people not to let their babies rub chicks all over themselves:
Live baby poultry can carry Salmonella and not appear sick, but can spread the germs to people. Children can be exposed toSalmonella by holding, cuddling, or kissing the birds and by touching things where the bird lives, such as cages or feed and water bowls. Young children are especially at risk for illness because their immune systems are still developing and because they are more likely than others to put their fingers or other items into their mouths.
Salmonella can make people sick with diarrhea, vomiting, fever, and/or abdominal cramps. Sometimes, people can become so sick from a Salmonella infection that they have to go to the hospital. Infants, elderly persons, and those with weakened immune systems are more likely than others to develop severe illness. When severe infection occurs, Salmonella may spread from the intestines to the bloodstream and then to other body sites and can cause death unless the person is treated promptly with antibiotics.
I know her life is all about creating twee photo ops for her twee blog, but maybe keep the bacteria carrying farm animals off the tables and out of the kids’ faces?
Cary Randolph Kennedy Jefferson Washington Fuller, American girl, is regularly asked by anonymous tumblr people for advice. Yesterday a curious reader wanted to know “…what is your diet like?” The American Ms. Fuller responded with her usual combination of wit and relatability:
Funny story: I was on a date recently, and the guy asked me what I like to do besides running. Paused for a moment, asked myself, What are my hobbies? Then looked him in the eye and said, “Well, I like to eat.”
So here’s a typical day in the appetite of moi: egg whites and a piece of cheese or a green juice for breakfast (plus green tea with Splenda), Cobb salad for lunch, Larabar and half-pint of blueberries in the afternoon, salad for dinner, half a PBJ for dessert.
But that’s a good day. Here’s a “bad” one: bacon-egg-and-cheese croissant for breakfast, crab cake salad with French fries for lunch, handful of M&M’s in the afternoon, martini-and-sushi binge fest and gelato at dinner.
Bottom line: eat what you want when you want it (within reason), and then kill yourself at the gym and on the trail. Feel fat? Eat less, and move more.
Did she seriously say “half a PBJ for dessert”? On a “good day”? And then instruct you pork out (within reason?) and then “kill yourself” at the gym??? Cary. CARY honey. I know you’re trying to seem “real” with your little all American PBJ anecdote but come the freck on.
And there is no universe imagined by Carl Sagan in which I would stuff myself with whatever I want and then spend hours in a gym to make up for it. That’s just swinging between extremes for no reason and smacks of a borderline eating disorder. You live in NYC where the average person walks 2 miles a day and you run marathons, Cary. I think you’re allowed french fries and binge drinking on occasion without the guilt laden aftermath of killing yourself at the gym.
We’ve gotten on her about this before, but Cuppy is a constant complainer. Regular offenders include her long weeks, busy weekends and her SUPER STRESSFUL JOB. (She blogs full-time, by the way.)
Here a rundown of her latest round of white girl problems:
This past weekend was spent almost entirely running errands, so I threw on a highlighter-yellow skirt to offset our rather hectic schedule. We had ordered a new mattress weeks ago that was supposed to be delivered sometime in mid-June, but it ended up arriving on Saturday, much to our surprise. Since our previous mattress was a different size, we scrambled the whole day to find new bedding. I love how it all came together though (I’ll share pictures soon!), and getting to slip into fresh sheets at the end of the weekend was the ultimate reward. (1)
It’s a constant struggle for me to shut off at the end of the day. Since I work from home, often times my office ends up overflowing onto the dining room table, where my computer is merely pushed to the side while I eat. This week I made an effort to savor the moments at the end of the day – the warm, fragrant breeze and the light that flooded our back bedroom. I unpacked the last of my trinkets from Italy (little candy tins and a striped spoon) and now feel ready to tackle the weekend. (2)
This was a good week, even though it felt absurdly long (at one point I was convinced the days were moving backwards). But it was also well balanced – with some great meetings, meals with girlfriends, beautiful weather, and a night to myself where I ate caramel out of a jar while watching TV. Sometimes it’s those classier moments that make for the perfect ending to a long day. Have a nice weekend! (3)
I lost it at OMG WE HAVE NO SHEETS FOR OUR MATTRESS. Of all the white girl problem shit she’s said before, “scrambling” to find new sheets as if it’s some kind of hectic emergency situation really pissed me off. Knowing that she just spent about a month cavorting around Italy with Sir Geoffrey The White Knight doesn’t help.
And while we’re here, let’s discuss the office overflow onto the dining table problem. She has to eat AND work at the same time? What a unique unicorn special snowflake she is! Oh, the burdens of photographing your bar cart and inappropriately short skirts! Woe be unto you should you choose this path of stress for yourself!
GIRL. PERSPECTIVE! FIND IT.
Readers initially rejoiced when Dooce, requires two employees, posted a mildly interesting and almost amusing post about helicopters or something:
(click to enlarge)
Why, my goodness! This post seemed to have some effort behind it! Readers held their breath thinking finally the old Dooce was returning. Turns out the old Dooce was returning…just not the way folks had hoped. The post had the feel of the Dooce of olden days because it IS a post from the olden days – September 18, 2006 to be exact.
(click to enlarge)
With no disclaimer in the recent edit of the post, some readers apparently just assumed this was a fresh post. Especially since the original version, while still listed in the archives, has been deleted. It’s very confusing, honestly; if the edit was done in order to remove her estranged husband’s name why not just edit the original, and post another archived post with no mention of him? Why not just post an actual fresh post? Or is this actually a brand new event that is startlingly exactly like an event from 6 years ago? Maybe Dooce just lives in a broken version of the Matrix, and is now starting to actually re-experience previous things?
Honestly I wish someone would explain this to me because this is terribly wtf.
Leandra Medine, who has taken 15 Minutes of Fame to a new level with her blog Man Repeller, fired off an angry reply on Twitter to IFB this morning after they tweeted about her allegedly earning $8,000 for a two hour appearance.
But is her revenue really inappropriate for anyone be discussing? Not really, considering Leandra revealed late last year that she made over $10,000 in two months using affiliate linking program Linkshare on her blog. In the article in Fashionologie, she admitted:
When I’m working with other brands, my first question is, ‘What am I doing for you?’ and ‘Do you want me to blog about it?’ Because, if it’s attached to the blog, I’ll charge two to three times the amount. It’s all about setting benchmarks: I did one gig in May where I styled mannequins and made $5,000. I decided that I’m no longer going to do styling gigs for $500 or $1,000 if I can hold onto my guns and get more.
Maybe congratulations are in order?