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Monthly Archives: July 2012
Kath Younger, reads everything about pregnancy, has been very vocal in telling the internet every single thing that can cause a problem with pregnancy, and making sure we know she is avoiding them. Which is probably why her post featuring her emptying 5 cans of spray paint onto various partical board objects got her readers all riled up.
Comments asked her if, given her anal retentive concern for any and all things that could possibly be bad for Kerfetus, maybe spray painting was sort of dumb. When KERF dismissed such ideas, commenter Jenna summed up the reason for the comments quite nicely:
I am really baffled by your response on this on whole topic. You seem so focused on doing what’s best for your baby, which is why I (and a lot of other readers, I’m sure) cannot understand why you would use spray paint while you’re pregnant.
To which KERF responded “Lets stop the mommy war judgment please”. Because disagreeing with anything a mother said is mommy war judgement, I guess. Anyway, Kath promptly shut down any further commentary on her painting projects by closing the comments.
Seriously, why does she even allow comments? She moderates the heck out of them already, and regularly closes them if she doesn’t like the direction they are going. What’s the point, Kath?
Julia Allison, apparently has a show on Bravo!, posted an unpublished interview to her facebook page admitting that “the era of NonSociety has come to an end”. Claiming it “brought in almost half a million throughout the duration of the site” (which begs the question of why she would shut it down, but ok) she says “my partners and I are finally ready to say goodbye to it”.
Though finally allowing the horizontal crapshow to die the merciful death it has long deserved, Julia refuses to let herself fade into oblivion. In her continuing effort to be famous and relevant, she is going to take her pony show back over to her original site:
I just did the initial redesign of JuliaAllison.com and plan to expand upon it later this year. I’m thinking it will PROBABLY be back to basics blogging, but we’ll see. I am in the midst of writing a book proposal now, so I will also be focusing on that for a while!
Considering everyone and their dog has a book deal these days there’s little doubt she will be handed a pot of money for her mediocre babblings. At least she says she isn’t moving back to New York City, so there’s that to be thankful for.
Many of you have no doubt heard about the tragic assault on Jenn Gibbons, the woman attempting to raise $150,000 for breast cancer charity by rowing 1,500 miles around Lake Michigan solo. According to the Daily Mail:
Police believe her attacker may have carefully tracked her movement through her blog, waiting until she was vulnerable to strike.
In the early morning hours of July 22, Miss Gibbons was staying along Lake Michigan in Mueller Township, Schoolcraft County.
She said that a man broke into the cabin of her boat and raped her – identifying her by her full name.
‘It was terrifying. He told me he knew where to find me,’ she said.
Pinterest, the online replacement for bookmarking stuff you want, is extremely popular with bloggers. And why not? It’s yet another way to use their beloved affiliate links!
Readers are starting to notice that the Pinterest boards of some bloggers are filling up with “shopstyle” and “rstyle” product affiliate links. Atlantic-Pacific’s “wishful thinking” board seems to be the worst offender – it’s basically nothing but things Blair wants, with links via various affiliates so you can help her earn money to buy more crap. But other bloggers like What I Wore, Ramshackle Glam, A Beautiful Mess, and A Cup of Jo are starting to pin affiliate link items as well.
I know everyone is all for bloggers getting paid, but seriously? They already do sponsored posts, sponsored tweets, run ads. Are bloggers simply unable to do anything online without monetizing it these days?
Kath, who has been pregnant for forever, is prepping herself for the magical world of breastfeeding by attending classes, reading books, and watching movies. More than the actual child which she will soon produce, Kerf claims that breastfeeding is “the part of motherhood she is most excited about.” In Kerf’s world (which we all know is the only one that matters) breastfeeding represents the “epitome of bonding between mother and baby,” which sets me up to think that the kerfling will be milking the teat well into his childhood.
Fortunately for Kerf she was able to consult a lactation consultant who seems to have gotten her degree from a canine obedience school. Among the many gems of advice which she gave to her students and which Kerf so generously shared with the world, TMI be damned, we can find this precious nugget:
When a baby latches correctly, reward him with “GOOD BABY!” and a happy voice. If he latches incorrectly, respond with a firm “No” and remove him from the breast. Our consultant said she swears babies learn faster this way.
Makes sense to me since we all know that babies are born with language comprehension, so obviously Kerf’s kid will completely understand when Kerf is praising or scolding him. I had always suspected that breastfeeding was just like training a puppy to pee and poo outside and I’m pleased to learn that those tactics can work with newborns as well. Let’s face it, infants don’t immediately understand why they’re hungry or where they get their food from and they don’t care by what method they get it- they just want to be fed whenever they need it, which is apparently all the time. You don’t need to be condescending to your kid just because he lacks the ability to reason yet.
Of course, if Kerf is having problems with the initial latching on she can just apply a little self love to get the action started. Apparently “twisting your nipple to make it harder right before a feed can help the baby find it easier,” which prompts a mental image NO ONE needed on their Monday morning. I might just be one of those people who can’t appreciate the “intimacy of the blog”… And if a little friendly nipple tweak doesn’t do anything for her, Matt can get into the action with his “long and hard” finger, “an excellent soother that actually helps the baby learn proper nursing technique even better.” Good to know. Enjoy your breakfast, all! I really don’t know where we would be without Kerf’s oversharing.
It will be interesting to see how this all pans out. What if Kath is forced to bottle feed? Will she and child still manage to bond? Will the overwhelming desire to drink get in the way of Kerf’s desire to bond with her baby, mouth to teat? What if the baby doesn’t respond to her training cues and insists on poor latching? So many questions and I don’t doubt we will get to hear all about it. Woe unto thee, kerfetus, if you don’t latch on for you will face the wrath of Kerf. The pressure’s on!
Why didn’t you mention that you wrote this same story in 2009? I don’t think anyone would have cared but now this just seems lazy.
It seems Joanna wrote more or less the exact same piece for Glamour back in 2009. From the original piece:
Have you ever wondered what sex feels like from the guy’s point of view? Well, I was chatting with some guy friends recently, when the conversation turned to sex. And they came up with an awesome description of what sex really feels like to guys. I was SO surprised…
My male friends all agreed that sex from a guy’s point of view is a similar sensation to someone sucking on your big toe…except 1000x better.
“It’s warm, wet and incredibly soft,” explained one guy, when he saw I looked puzzled. “When someone sucks on your toe, it kind of similar, although obviously much less intense. But that’s a good way for women to get a sense of what sex is like for us–and why we love it so much.” All the guys nodded in agreement.
Compare to her recent post:
Recently I heard the weirdest thing…
The other night, I was hanging out with some friends, when the conversation turned to sex.
My guy friends all agreed that sex to a man is a similar sensation to someone sucking on your big toe (x1000).
“It’s warm, wet and incredibly soft, so it’s kind of similar to if someone sucks on your toe…but obviously much more intense,” said my friend M.
Then the girls tried to describe what sex feels like, and the best description was…using a Q-tip (x1000). Right? Kind of?
While not exactly a cut-and-paste of the original, it’s hard to deny that it’s basically the same post, edited and reused. Why do bloggers do this and not acknowledge it’s an old idea they are re-addressing and updating? They have to know their die hard fans will catch it and ask about it. As I’ve said when previous bloggers have done this, “Reference it when you revisit the topic in a new post, don’t just change the date to make it appear new.” Certainly they are your words and you’re free to reuse them to your heart’s content. But why not at least mention that it’s not exactly a fresh new idea or experience?
Issa Waters, fat acceptance blogger and alterna-mom, is getting tired of your responses to her anti-diet posts – so much so that she felt the need to post a list of reasons why she isn’t approving your comments:
If your comment talks about how you would have died if you hadn’t lost weight or talks about how you avoided certain diseases or conditions by losing weight, I’m probably not letting your comment through.
And don’t bother with your personal story of weight loss, because she’s just not interested.
I know you’re super-excited about your feat, so much so that you have forgotten the definition of anecdote, but what you’re doing here is just mean. Do you think that somehow your words are going to be the magic advice that make it all make sense to us fat people?
Issa’s response to your “anecdotes” about how you lost weight is to tell you that “you’re boring. Boring as shit. I just don’t care what you eat and how you exercise. I know your story is fascinating to you, but it sounds exactly like everyone else’s story to me.” But it’s not that Issa is just being sensitive; she is looking out for the feelings of overweight readers who should not be subjected to such comments:
To my fat readers: I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard of exercise before. It has also crossed my mind that water is better for me than soda. Sensible eating! Lifestyle change! Finding activities I love! Whole foods! I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but we’ve all heard this stuff, right? I could let these comments through if you’re all dying to be educated, but I have a strong hunch that you’ve been plenty “educated” enough.
Yes, because the number one problem facing people today is over-education about nutrition and exercise. Look, I don’t care if she wants to share her opinion about the diet industry and tell people that they should ignore doctors who say they should lose weight. And again, we are all for size acceptance here on GOMIBLOG. But these bloggers putting up posts ranting about why they aren’t going to listen to you or post your comments is getting a little old. This is the sort of stuff that should just be added to your comment policy, not crafted into some aggressive-defensive diatribe about why reader opinions will not be allowed to see the light of day. We get it, it’s your blog and you will moderate to allow only the comments you want to see. No need to put up these posts, people.
Have you always wanted to wander the hallowed home of Heather Armstrong? Well now you can!
STATELY BRICK TRADITIONAL ON TREE FILLED LOT IN FEDERAL HEIGHTS! TERRIFIC FLOOR PLAN INCLUDES LARGE KITCHEN, DINING, AND FAMILY ROOM AREAS, WALK IN PANTRY, FORMAL DINING AND LIVING ROOMS, FINISHED ATTIC SPACE IS IDEAL FOR HOME OFFICE, STUDIO, OR GUEST RETREAT, HARDWOODS FLOORS THROUGHOUT, ALL BATHROOMS ARE BEAUTIFULLY UPDATED WITH TRAVERTINE TILE AND CLASSY FIXTURES, PLENTY OF STORAGE, 2 LAUNDRY ROOMS, DOUBLE STAIRCASES. GRAND MASTER BEDROOM, BATHROOM AND CLOSET SPACE. PRIVATE YARD AND OUTDOOR PATIO AREA. NEWER MECHANICAL SYSTEMS AND NEW ROOF. THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYONE TO LIVE AND ENTERTAIN! CLASSIC STYLE WITH A CONTEMPORARY FLAIR.
The 11,126 sq. ft., 9 bedroom 9 bath home is listed for $1,595,000. Does this mean the divorce is close to being final?
Queen Cuppy, aka Emily of Cupcakes & Cashmere, is finally doing the giveaway of the book no one is hailing as a literary masterpiece. Emily’s book is accompanied by several items which will NOT be in the Sam’s Club discount bin in 6 months:
- A signed copy of my book (I’ll personalize it once the winners have been chosen)
- 10 “hello friend” notecards and envelopes from Walnut Paperie
- A set of pretty hair ties (seen here)
- Estée Lauder Viper nail polish (a moody dark green that comes out in August) and Star Pink lip gloss
- Diptyque Baies candle
- Chocolate-covered gummy bears
As of right now her post already has 25,000 comments from people I can only assume really love lip gloss and gummy bears. Seriously, that has to be the reason right? You can’t tell me 25,000 people are clamoring for a copy of a book about how to make playlists and wear multiple bracelets.
Please tell me it’s just for the gummy bears.
Cary Randolph-future Kennedy, current Jefferson and the ne plus ultra of high society-graciously answers questions from the unwashed masses. Today she got an anonymous question that was right in her wheelhouse:
Anonymous said: Which do you prefer: Hamptons or Newport?
Cary: I prefer them both to pretty much anywhere else, but if we’re splitting hairs I’d like to be tearing down Further Lane in a charcoal gray Mercedes-Benz SLK350 with the top down, hair loose, white linen shirt over a black string bikini, bloody Mary in a Solo cup, and Bob Seger on the radio, the right man at my right side.
Well thank God. I thought this seemed pretentious but the mention of a red Solo cup really brought this answer down to earth. I understand answering a question creatively, but this is a self-indulgent wank over the trust fund or bank account that Scary Mandolph just knows is out there, waiting for her to come and really turn its life around. Mandolph created this fiction of herself as a dyed-in-the-wool WASP at least a year ago, and nothing has come of it. It’s time to admit she really is just the bland Midwestern transplant we all know she is. If she would stop trying to be the second coming of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy she might actually be interesting.
Thankfully, there is at least one person who isn’t impressed by Mandolph’s response:
Philistine. I’ll bet they never even heard of F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald.
Following in the fine tradition of Kayla and Checkers, Karlee was recently pregnant for a second time. Evidently having never had a prenatal appointment, Karlee had quite a surprise waiting for her when she went into early labor. According to Kayla, who addressed a letter to her own child on the matter:
On June 25th your aunt Karlee had surprise twin boys; Kyle Fly and Miles Trust. They were 6 weeks early so they were very tiny and under a lot of stress. They were both doing pretty good, but Kyle was barely hanging in there. He passed away last night at 4:09am.
This tragic end to a tragically mishandled pregnancy is being dealt with by Karlee the only way she knows how:
Resting up in this hotel with my lover Bam. Glad i got my pain med. Filled i was hurtin 2 badly. Pickin up kyles ash’s tomorrow cant wait 2 get them on necklesses :-)
I’m not a doctor, but I am pretty sure that when you spend your pregnancy in the woods with weed instead of, I don’t know, seeing a doctor and eating properly you should maybe expect the worst possible outcome. In the 21st century in a first world country with a dozen different welfare programs for expectant women, I’m a little confused as to how it got to this point in the first place. Anyone with a 7th grade education knows you need to see a doctor while you’re pregnant. If you want to be free spirited whatevers living in the woods, fine – but at least see a doctor a few times.
What is wrong with these people?
Heather Armstrong, valedictorian of everything, apparently went to Wyoming for some family thing. Per her cycle of emotional breakdown -> all better now, she first informed us that she had “walked right up to the window of a nervous breakdown and saw exactly what it looked like inside. It’s a shithole. And it’s scary as hell”…and then posted that after not sleeping for three days, a night of sleep has solved all her problems:
I can see straight! The world isn’t going to end! I mean, at least not today. It will at some point just as the Book of Revelation predicted, BUT NOT TODAY! However, even if I looked out my window and the moon had turned to blood or whatever that crazy person who wrote that book said was going to happen, I’d be like, RAD.BLOOOOOOOD!
Yeah that sounds rational and not at all overly dramatic and overblown. If a woman with a million resources at her disposal that would allow her to grab a nap wants to try and convince me that she went long enough without sleep to induce a post about how her “life is coming apart at the seams”, she’s going to have to try a lot harder. I mean, supposedly Cami went with her…wtf was she doing that she couldn’t take the kids and let Heather sleep for a few hours?
Anyway, Dooce then tells us that she has been going back for post-graduate therapy:
So. Therapy. I have been back a few times in the past several months just to talk through some hurdles. I’m not so stubborn as to ignore that option, not after the years of what I’ve already worked through and what I’ve learned.
Evidently one of the skills her therapist has had her work on “for years” is “being able to say out loud, “I cannot do this.”" She has spent grillions of hours in therapy to figure out that she’s “not Superman” and can’t do it all! Is she seriously complaining about how overloaded her life is again? To the point where she needs to pay someone to sit there and say “let’s do some exercises on how to say ‘no, I can’t do a post today’”? Come on. It’s great that she hasn’t closed the door on therapy, but sometimes there is a point where therapy is just you paying someone to reaffirm for you that you’re screwed up.
Look, we are sick of these posts, Heather. You have a compliment of people, paid and otherwise, who seem pretty willing to handle most of your life and business for you. Your only job is to exaggerate some banal story about your life and post it to the internets, and to do various appearances. Your actual responsibilities on a day to day basis for the last 4 years appear to be at an irreducible minimum. If you think this lifestyle is worthy of your constant whining, then by all means continue to complain. But honestly this “exhausted mentally screwed up somuchworkomg newly single mom” persona is getting really old and sounding really forced already.
Sally McGraw, some professional blogger in Minnesota, is known for her attempts at body image authority. She regularly publishes cringe-worthy tl;dr posts telling readers to embrace their unique style, full of various fourth wave cornpucky buzzwords about body image and media and spreading positivity.
Now Sal wants to impress upon us all the value of not fitting in…or fitting in if you want to.
At this point in my life, I feel like I conform less than I ever have. I’m a 35-year-old married woman who has no children. I’m an entrepreneur in a down economy. I’m a style blogger who isn’t tanned, toned, and wealthy…Individuality is gold, and non-conformism is brave…I would never advise anyone at any age to sacrifice all uniqueness for the sake of social acceptance. But a little conformity here and there? It might make your life easier, more fun, less stressful…I’d say embrace it if it makes you feel strong and powerful, express yourself as proudly and loudly and often as you can, show the world your uniqueness. But don’t flog yourself for wanting to blend in.
Embrace your desire to safety dance and remember the importance of non-conformity. Of course, conformity is also ok. You should be unique, but only as unique as you want, because sometimes you want to be like everyone else and that is totally normal. Unless you’d rather not be like everyone else. That’s fine too. Got that? Don’t you feel powerful and full of self-acceptance now?
And what part of “married middle aged woman in the midwest who quit her job to blog full time” equals trailblazing nonconformity? Seems pretty much the norm these days that if you’re married and have a website, you quit your job as soon as possible to be a “professional blogger” (I guess it just sounds better than “housewife”). It’s not like there are a lot of blogs by female district attorneys in DINK relationships blogging about their cats and careers and arguing with their partner about summer shares. The internet is basically nothing BUT married women without jobs posting pictures at this point. I’m not sure why she feels it makes her an ‘entrepreneur’ to do something pretty much every other housewife is doing, but hey whatever makes Sally feel special. Or not. Either way is fine.