Monthly Archives: June 2013

Lifestyle Blogging

“Time Warp Wife” Wants You Women To Stop Tempting Men

Darlene, the “Time Warp Wife”, is tired of the modern world being the modern world, full of displays of flesh that constantly tempt every man. I mean her friend Lisa’s poor son can’t even go shopping:

Temptation can be found anywhere.

Even in Target.

Target? Yeah, I know. That’s what I thought too. Until one day we popped in to pick up some flip-flops for the summer and I remarked how he kept bumping into things.

What is your problem, Son??

“I’m just looking down, Mom,” And with a nod, he indicated the ads placed strategically above us. Billboards for the lingerie department. Yikes. I’d not seen them.

Disgusting, isn’t it? A retail store that sells bras and panties having displays right out in the store? She is even appalled at the women attending a Christian family camp because most of the women “were dressed for a hot summer day”:

I noticed a pretty girl nearby and wondered if she realized how difficult she was making it for a guy…She might have dressed differently. For his sake. For the sake of all the men out there who want to walk in purity.

Her commenters seem to agree that it’s the job of women to make sure men don’t have sinful mind sex with some woman who decides not to sweat through the summer heat, saying “It is also important, and rarely taught, that you are at risk as well by the way you dress”. Because obviously if you show any skin you are basically inviting a man to eyesex you.

I don’t care about anyone’s religious beliefs telling them how to dress, but I think it’s pretty offensive that the reason given here is less about Biblical text or tradition and more about men being perceived as lust filled animals who can’t be held responsible for their own thoughts or behaviors. Men are such simple, penis controlled creatures that it’s up to us women to make sure they can control their raging urges – because they can in no way be counted on to see a girl in a pair of shorts and not wonder how she is in the sack.

It’s just insulting to both sexes to imply that if a man has a sexual thought about a woman it’s because some woman left him no choice. Frankly I find this attitude to be one step away from “look at how she dressed, she was asking for it”.

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WTF

India-Jewel Jackson Thinks Jews Could Have More Easily Survived The Holocaust

Over at XOJane, bastion of the meaningful, India-Jewel Jackson wrote a meh piece about Paula Deen and “apology culture”. Thankfully she managed to spice it up in the comments when she more or less started up a Who Has Been More Oppressed contest. Hint on who won – not Jews!

[W]ith the slavery vs. holocaust debate, it’s a bit different, as it was ultimately based upon race vs. religion, as in, Blacks were enslaved for hundreds of years, because they were Black. They couldn’t change or alter the appearance so as to escape and fly under the radar. Jews were exteriminated…for not being blonde + blue and because of their religion–the hair and the religion, they could change.(NOT AT ALL SAYING THAT THEY NEED TO OR SHOULD WANT TO IN ORDER TO STAY ALIVE, I’M JUST POINTING OUT THE BASIS OF IT.)

It’s hard to align those two experiences and find common ground because they aren’t exactly parallel. It’s much easier to find solidarity across minority color lines, IMO.

When commenters tried to explain to IJJ that Jews were persecuted by the Nazis because they were considered a sup-par race and thus changing their hair and religion would not have saved them, she replied:

It might not have been easy/realistic, but it WAS possible. Changing hair color is far easier than changing skin color and facial features.

Commenters continued to express disbelief at IJJ’s ignorance, one responding “Possible, schmossible. I’m sorry, but you’re talking outta your ass here”, and several explaining how Nazis rounded up Jewish people of every hair and eye color. She then decided enough was enough:

I’m not sure how I oppressed the Jewish people in my comment, but whatever. I don’t really care anymore.

XOJane commenters continue to try and educate Ms. Jackson while she shouts about how everyone needs to get back to discussing Paula Deen. I wonder if she sees the irony in this kerfluffle happening in a post about bigotry?

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WTF

Instagram Becoming Ground Zero For “Baby Role Play”

Instagram, home to millions of images of food and children, is apparently home to a new kind of image fun – “baby role play“.

It seems certain kinds of people enjoy “adopting” other peoples’ kids and creating fantasy stories. According to  Marco Chown Oved:

In conversations in the comments under each photo, the adopter can describe normal situations like playing with or feeding the baby, but sometimes the fantasies veer into sexual games…Even a cursory search brings up dozens of baby role plays on Instagram, many which describe sex in front of or with babies.

Stealing photos is not a new thing online, as shown by the story two weeks ago that revealed a woman using another woman’s son for her fake cancer blog. The Instagram role playing has apparently been on the mommysphere’s radar for a few months but continues to happen. This has prompted a petition directed at Instagram hoping to stop this activity:

Parents are having pictures they post stolen from their accounts and online. The pictures are being posted by other accounts for role playing purposes. Some of the role playing is harmless, but some of it includes violence and sex acts with the child.

With these kinds of stories happening more and more often it’s a wonder that any parent would post publicly available photos of their child anywhere.

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Lifestyle Blogging

MFAMB Thinks You People Need To Relax And Learn To Take Jokes And **** And ****

Jenny, of the He-Man can’t-you-people-take-a-joke club, is not sorry for her previous post. What previous post, you didn’t ask but I’m going to tell you about anyway? This post:

you know what i think sucks? that paula deen got fired. i think it’s bullshit is what i think. i am not a paula deen groupie, so let’s get that out of the way. nor am i a racist. and i don’t think she is either. in fact, I KNOW she isn’t. i don’t believe saying the ‘n’ word in a joke makes one a racist.

She blathers on for far too long about how racist jokes don’t make you a racist, and basically a whole lot of other crap proving she has no idea what the whole Paula Deen scandal was really about. When people started trying to enlighten her, she decided to issue a non-apology for her non-racism – complete with an image of her in crude blackface:

we incorrectly stated that during the learning process that we actually were sad that people were no longer receiving the mfamb gazette and it’s affiliates: pinterest, twitter, facedick and instagram. it has since come to our attention that we aren’t sad. in fact we will be sending you all a giant, steaming, oozing, pulsating bag of (racist) dicks to choke on.

Because nothing says classy non-racist like the words “bag of dicks” and claiming “we love black people” underneath a pic of yourself in blackface. This is a grown woman raising a child. Why do people think this behavior is cute?

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Fashion Blogging

Blog Giveaway Will Award You 6,000 Twitter Followers

When In Doubt Just Add Glitter, most annoying blog name ever, is doing a really odd blog giveaway.

How do you giveaway 6,000 followers???
Well I’ll tell you…
it’s a little secret businesses use to increase their online presence, gain credibility, and look more established.  They pay someone to help them get their business out there.

That’s right – your prize,  valued “at over $2,000″, will be 6k fake twitter followers. According to her, having a high twitter follower count means you “are considered to be more influential by your peers”. Because nothing says influence like winning a bunch of fake followers from some blog contest.

Seriously bloggers will just come up with anything these days just to have some kind of giveaway, won’t they? Why would anyone enter this thinking 6,000 fake twitter followers is some kind of awesome reward?

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WTF

Christian Domestic Discipline Network Will Teach You How To Keep Your Wife In Line

The Christian Domestic Discipline Network, “Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage”, wants you ladies to know your role. To that end, they encourage “domestic discipline” in marriage in order to help you get over your feminist ideas and help you gals help yourselves by letting your man raise his hand:

It always makes me sad to see young women taken in by the lies of feminism. By the time many are old enough to question and see for themselves what a mess it makes out of their lives, it is too late to escape from the feminist-created rat-race.

And why can’t women see through the feminist lies? Why, they’re idiots of course:

So what am I getting at? I am saying that you as a man will get all kinds of mixed signals from a woman. It’s not that she means to confuse you. She is probably confused herself. She has desires and wants of her own (and our modern culture has certainly taught her that she’ll only be happy if she can manage to meet those desires), but her created nature is never fully satisfied outside of the role for which she was created.

Evidently the best way to work out all those feelings of autonomy is spanking. No, not the awesome kind you see on Cinemax after 10pm. This kind.

This concept is not based on hitting, fighting, or BDSM, and in fact is potentially to help avoid improper male aggression and abusiveness of that sort. Instead, the husband has the right (within certain parameters and safety issues) to use Biblical chastising – arguing that it cannot be abuse since God gives merit to human leaders using discipline in the outwork of authority.

Oh…ok. In order to keep your husband from beating you up, you should let him vent his frustration over your lack of obedience through spanking.

This is really one of the most wtf websites I have ever seen. I think the best part is the section offering tips on frozen food and frugal living which seem kind of out of place on a site about wife spanking. I mean, wife spanking is a real thing? I just can’t even.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Sunshine Mary Thinks Rape Culture Is Created By Paranoid Feminists

Sunshine Mary, “a concealed-carry kind of a girl”, is taking a stand against colleges creating a “rape culture” – but not in the way you might think:

Sexual assault centers and programs have only increased in visibility and campus involvement in the years since I’ve been out of college.  And oddly, according to them, campuses are even rapey-er than ever before.  They say there is an entire rape culture on campus.

I don’t believe it, though.

According to Mary there’s not really that much rape happening on college campuses. Apparently it’s mostly just drunk girls feeling bad about boozey sex, and being tricked into thinking they were raped by the aggressive anti-man campaigns of campus feminists:

…are the young women lying about it or are they just misled by campus sexual assault programs run by feminist professors who are also keeping one eye open for ways to advance their own careers?

Dismissing one woman’s story of assault with the reductive declaration “The fact that he was only assigned a book report makes one wonder how serious the situation could really have been”, Mary goes on to claim “We already know that women lie about sexual assault all the time.”

She sums up with dramatic proof that women aren’t really being assaulted by saying “Ladies, if you were sexually assaulted, what would you do?  Personally, I would be on the phone to the police the moment I had gotten away” – because obviously there is nothing easier than dealing with the fallout of a sexual assault accusation, so if she isn’t on the phone to the police within seconds then she probably wasn’t really assaulted. Well, I’m convinced!

Seriously, she could have saved me 10 minutes of scrolling by just posting “Stop acting like drunk whores and men won’t try to have sex with you! Regretting passing out and a guy having sex with your unconscious body isn’t rape, you slut!” I mean, that’s basically what her post amounts to.

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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

“Blog Advice” Giveaway Will Let You Ask Nobodies How To Be A Successful Blogger

Erin of Two Thirds Hazel, has “throw on a tutu” in her “about me”, wants to do a giveaway like every other blogger on earth. But since she is a bold pioneering type, she decided to do a different kind of giveaway:

I rounded up a group of ladies who have been around the ballpark a time or two when it comes to blogging in order to put this one of a kind giveaway together. We all have some tips, tricks, advice, and guidance that we’d love to shell out in order to help you grow into the best blogger you can be. Whether this be through a Skype session, a back and forth email exchange, a blog critique, a Q&A session, a phone call, a personal jet to pick you up for a private meeting, etc – we’re covering all the bases.

And who are these super successful internet superstars? First on the list is Erin herself, because there’s no point in doing a giveaway if you can’t sneak in some self-promotion. Other ‘”big gun” bloggers’ include Raven (man and weight loss expert), and  Mama Laughlin (I guess she lost some weight and is famous now).

So…basically a bunch of bloggers maybe 20 people have heard of are going to let you win the privilege of their advice on how to make your blog a Big Deal On The Internet. Which honestly seems a little like asking Amanda Bynes for tips on how to be coherent on twitter. But hey, if it makes them feel important more power to them.

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Mommy Blogging

Mckmama Will Return To Blogging By End Of Summer

Less than a year after announcing she was closing her blog Mckmama, pill shiller, has now announced that she will announce a new blog soon.

A new internet venture is unsurprising to everyone who watched her writhe as her domain was cruelly confiscated last year by The Man, and speculation has begun on whether this will be another personal-for-pay blog or something connected to shilling the supplements she once claimed could help special needs kids.

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Mommy Blogging

“Running To Africa” Needs You To Pay For Her Adoption Like Right Now

Joining the ranks of Sami and The Paper Mama, Running to Africa has taken to the internet to implore strangers for baby money:

We are weeks away from traveling to Ethiopia for Court, the first of two trips required for the adoption process.  In order to complete the final steps in bringing our daughter home, we need to raise $7,000 in a matter of days.

They are “asking each of you to give $10 and then to pass this on to 25 of your friends, asking the same thing”. In addition to money they “need a twin size bed for our daughter.  If you are able please consider donating a twin bed” because obviously they can’t be expected to procure basic items for the child they plan to adopt.

They claim “we don’t have any other choice” but if you knew you were going to pursue an international adoption wouldn’t you arrange your financial needs a little better? It’s not like you wake up on a Tuesday and think “I want to buy a kid from Ethiopia!” and then realize you need $7,000 bucks within a few days. Wouldn’t you know this was coming and plan accordingly?

I just don’t understand this trend of baby money begging on the internet at all, but it needs to end already.

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Mommy Blogging

Kelly Oxford Will Shame Litterbugs

Kelly Oxford, seriously does anyone have any idea what she does besides twitter, made a never-done-before joke about America at the conclusion of her special “excuse for skinny white lady to post bikini pics” vacation. Namely, that Americans are fat and spread trash around. Shortly after ending her trip home on what appears to be a private plane, Kelly instagrammed the above pic with the caption “These fat bastards just threw all their trash on the road. WELCOME TO AMERICA!”

Ya know, I think litterbugs suck as much as anyone else. But I don’t see the need to post their pictures without permission to my instagram and call them “fat bastards”. I get that her schtick is try-hard edginess and all, but wtf was the point of this?

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Fashion Blogging

Ratters Are Ratting Out Nat The Fat Rat

Today in slow news days, Nat The Fat Rat, part of the NYC Mormon Mommyblogger Club, has finally somewhat admitted she did not actually just pull all of last month’s cross stitch brags from her skinny jeans covered behind as she previously implied.

Originally responding to a comment asking “do you just free hand it? or follow some sort of a pattern?”, Nat claimed simply that she “freehanded these, which is actually easier than you’d think when you’re doing counted cross stitch”. Recently a Ratter found strangely similar patterns for sale in an etsy shop, and links to the patterns were posted in the comments of the original post – which finally forced Nat to sort of kind of acknowledge she had outside inspiration:

i didn’t use patterns for these (probably should have!), but i did do a google image search for “cross stitch rain clouds” and “cross stitch reindeer” and sort of winged it from there. a few readers have linked to patterns in the comments so please use those!”

This makes me wonder why she didn’t just link to the original page where she found the google image to begin with, but it’s Friday and I’m too busy to figure out why bloggers don’t give attribution to their swiped ideas anymore.

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WTF

Teenage Girl Steals Photos For Her Fake Childhood Cancer Blog

The Warrior Eli Hoax Group, the nickelodeon.com for adults, has been recently uncovering the story of childhood cancer blog “Remembering Reilly”. It has now been revealed that the site, which claimed to be the online journal of the cancer struggle and eventual death of 3 year old Reilly Bowman, was started by a teenage girl:

I’ve heard from the person who is behind this hoax.  She’s a junior in high school and she says she started the blogs after hearing Taylor Swift’s song Ronan…We’ve discussed why what she did was harmful and wrong, and I truly believe she is sorry.

Someone who says “An apology doesn’t quite cut it,” is the REAL mother of “Reilly” – Sarah Gilliam. Photos of her son Jack, as well as photos of herself and other family photos, were stolen and used on the “Reilly” blog as well as on a facebook page for the blog.

The photo was an image of my son who is very much alive and whose name is Jack and not Reilly…It’s shocking to find that someone was using my family’s story to create a very different story, and a very terrible story of their own.

The hoaxster was even designed ”Team Reilly” t-shirts. Apparently the girl behind the hoax is “considering talking to a psychologist”, while Gilliam says she is “researching legal options”.

In other news, thousands of mothers are now making their instagrams and facebook accounts private as we speak.

Edit: This post previous claimed the hoaxster was selling t-shirts. The post has now been corrected.

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