Monthly Archives: September 2013

Mommy Blogging

@RookieMoms Has Halloween Ideas For Your “Dark Skinned Baby”

Rookie Moms, yet another bunch of moms telling other moms how to mom which is totally ok if you run a mom website, apparently wanted to share some totally awesome costume ideas:

Oh. Ok then.

Saying they “wanted to include diversity in baby photos featured”, they then tried to explain their amazing, original, never done before and totally worth the PR injury costume ideas:

I...what?

While twitterites continued to ask them WTF? the Rookie Moms took ‘getting the point’ by the hand, walked it up a mountain, and abandoned it somewhere past the tree line. Tweeting that the costume post would be up soon and they “didn’t mean to rile up so many folks!” they also begged twitter to “Please help me understand. In 140 characters of course” what all the outrage was about. After all, she has  ”plenty of photos of my own bald babies.”

Alrighty then. If a couple of privileged white mommy bloggers putting out a call for bald dark skinned babies to use as props for their bowling ball costume can’t understand why they pissed a bunch of people off today – despite hundreds of reply tweets explaining it to them – then I’m not sure folks should continue bothering to try. They’ve put out the requisite ‘gee sorry’ tweet and the whole crapfest will likely be under rug swept by the La Mommy Nostra blogworld by this time Tuesday.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Sunshine Mary Will Explain Why Shame And Shunning Are Good Things

Sunshine Mary, God’s stenographer, has taken time out of her busy schedule of victim blaming and feminism hating to inform us that shunning and stigma are valid ways to change “deviants” (such as single moms and homosexuals) into people worthy of human society.

You see, apparently some crazy people think that shaming and shunning aren’t really a solution for societal improvement. Some wackos even think help should simply be provided, free of judgment, to people in need! Well Mary is here to correct those beliefs:

We must shun the slut, but we must also tell her if she stops sleeping around and doesn’t have any more out-of-wedlock children, we will help her with her financial burdens.  Notice the order of events here: change first, help second.

Mary thinks the current system of giving without stone throwing is wrong, saying “if you are a baby mama, you can come to church and be glorified and extolled, receive financial assistance and other kinds of help, yet continue on in your slutty ways” and explaining that it “does not work to provide the benefit before the behavior change”.

Basically your skanky self won’t see a dime until you staple those knees shut, get a job, and show proper head hanging eye contact avoiding shame before your pure and righteous betters. Hooray for humanity! What wonderful progress we’re making.

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Mommy Blogging

Kelli Stapleton Would Appreciate Your Support

Kelli Stapleton, formerly of The Status Woe, continues to sit in jail without bond after attempting to kill herself and her daughter. Now her friends and family have started a fund to hopefully buy her freedom:

Our friend Kelli is a daughter, sister, cousin, mom, college graduate, scientist, author, famous blogger, snarky activist and devoted friend to many. She is loved and supported in the autism community…

The fundraiser goal is currently $50,000, though apparently you can pray or send letters of support in lieu of money.

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Fashion Blogging

Queen Of The Modesty Fashion Bloggers Peaces Out

Closed Much

Elaine, longtime ruler of the fashion blogging niche dedicated to modesty, is renouncing her throne.

I don’t know how to do this. I’ve been fashion blogging for 4 1/2 years. How do you end it? Do you peel the band-aid off slowly or do you rip it off? I feel like I’ve been pulling it off slowly for the past year or so.. And it’s time to rip it off. And it hurts. I’m sad that this journey has to end, but I think we all know it’s time.

Apparently the main reason for the shutdown is that her life just isn’t in the same place that inspired her to start the blog.

I started this blog in 2009 when Chase and I have only been married for a year. We were both going to school. We both had part-time minimum-wage jobs and student loans to boot. I was sick and tired of wearing the same old things every day and I created this blog to help me be more creative with what I already had.

She explained that between an increasingly mobile baby and impending full time employment she simply won’t have the time to continue her outfit posts. She won’t be gone from the internet completely; it appears she will evidently be a personal/mommy blogger instead, thus moving from top of her niche to just another in an already overcrowded genre.

But let’s give credit where it’s due – if she hasn’t been feeling it the past year then it’s good she can at least admit it and kill her blog in a merciful manner rather than dragging it out for years (cough, What I Wore, cough).

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Mommy Blogging

Serge Is Not Scared Of His Baby Dying

Serge Bielanko, father of two with The Girl Who‘s Monica, is tired of the home birth scare army. After all, they are not at all worried about the entrance of their third child into the world:

The fact is, we aren’t really scared of anything.

Why not? She could die. Everyone could die. I could die. I’m not sure how, to be honest, but there’s got to be a way that I could perish during our home birth, right?

Oh well.

Serge then kicks off his reasons for the decision to do a home birth by stating:

…we have been through the hospital thing twice and although it was fine and dandy, we have never been the kind of people who want to do every single thing in our lives according to what everyone else up and down the road are doing.

He later goes on to explain that this is how women have had babies since mankind stumbled out of caves and started filling their mound houses with Ikea, thus attempting to justify his flippant lack of fear of what might happen with this birth.

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Fashion Blogging

Gala Darling Will Help You Fix Yourself

Gala Darling, of the self love letter Darlings, is clipping right along with her Radical Self Love Letters project. You remember that scheme – send Gala $20 and she will send you a super helpful email every single day for 30 days full of advice on how to be more like Gala.

Well her latest letter is out and apparently Gala is claiming to be some go-to girl for the downtrodden young women of the internets:

…I get a lot of emails from women who are upset, sad, depressed, desperate and unsure what to do about it.  Typically these emails contain very long paragraphs, finished off with something like, “I don’t know what to do.  Gala, how can I fix myself?”

Gala’s advice? Try “stretching, deep breathing, gratitude”, reflexology, EFT, and…vision boards.

Some detractors are saying this latest email is not just a harmless envelope full of glitter – it’s downright irresponsible to say “going for a run” will “make you feel better” to people who may be in deeper waters than can be diagnosed via email by a woman in a pink tutu. For people who may admire Gala and the lifestyle she portrays online, being told all they need to do is adjust their mood with some gratitude and a jog could lead to some very bad outcomes if it doesn’t work.

Gala is well known for pushing the idea that your mood is your own fault; but at what point do harmless “turn that frown upside down” platitudes become borderline dangerous?

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

“Flora and Fauna” Will Now Revert Back To Her Old Self

Oh well.

Tatiana, the blogger known as Love, Life, Lace who flounced off the internet only to return once she got pregnant, has been applauded by many GOMIBLOGers for seemingly ending her try-hard twee domestic posing and just being a normal young mom.

Well you can put away your clapping hands. Tatiana announced that she would be going back to that previous persona:

I’m going back. Back to me, back to what feels comfortable, back to what feels right…I apologized to all my pretty dresses and blouses and before I knew it I was making an appointment with my hairstylist to get bangs again (it’s really happening and I’m really scared!!). The truth is I learned I’m just not lanky or edgy or “modely” enough for the trendy hipster look…

Tatiana then goes on to explain that she loves Anne Shirley and Pride & Prejudice which means she’s just way too nerdy to be a hipster:

It’s time I admit that I’ve always been a nerd, I am a nerd and I’ll probably always be a nerd. I will always swoon over a peter pan collar, twirly dress and bright lipstick.

It took about 5 seconds for her to get back to bangs, milkmaid braids, and posting twee pastries. So I guess now she’s back to being a carbon copy of all the other pretty pretty things blogs. It makes me want to pull a Tyra; we were all rooting for you, Tatty!

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Lifestyle Blogging

First Week Of “Hey Natalie Jean” Is Sponsored By Everyone

Natalie Jean, ‘professional’ ‘writer’, has managed to confuse and annoy her readers within the first week of her blog rebrand. Kicking off her new brand with two sponsored posts in a row, Natalie was forced to field some disappointment from fans. In response, she took to twitter and did some damage control:

Oh...ok

Readers gave Natalie a break, assuming it was simply awkward timing. That is until yesterday, when yet another sponsored post appeared. Today, when a fourth sponsored post rounded out the first week of the new brand – the second in a row, despite her previous statement that it would not happen again – it seems some readers began to have just about enough:

Comments 1 and 2

Comment 4Comment 3

Natalie promptly began deleting comments asking why her disclosure did not meet the FTC’s recommended guidelines, and then ran to twitter once again in an attempt to end further discussion about the matter:

well pardon us

Needless to say many of Natalie’s fans are less than thrilled with the new direction her blog is taking. Perhaps if she rebranded it Hey, Natalie Will Shill Anything at least folks would know what they were in for and she wouldn’t have to apologize on twitter so often.

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Mommy Blogging

Battle Of The Birth Bloggers Is Now Going To Court

Yeah, you're gonna want to get a chair for this.

The internet has begun hosing off their lawn chairs and stocking up on popcorn after Dr. Amy’s announcement that the Battle Of The Birth Bloggers will in fact be going to court:

I’m pleased to report that the judge agreed with our arguments and those of the Electronic Frontier Foundation/Digital Media Law Project of Harvard Law School and denied Gina Crosley-Corcoran’s motion to dismiss my lawsuit. The case will be going forward in Massachusetts.

This evidently means that The Feminist Breeder’s attempts to dismiss the case because I don’t know, Massachusetts was far away or something, have been denied.

In unrelated news, stores around the world are reporting sales of Franzia and Slankets have skyrocketed since this announcement.

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Mommy Blogging

The Kayla And Checkers Saga Continues

Kayla Brite Accessories Not Included

Kayla, baby producing half of the infamous homeless by choice parents Kayla and Checkers, has been spending the last  year posting to her tumblr about how pointless college is and how society and the Man and bro puff puff give.

I guess after social services takes one of the kids away and won’t return her until you stop living in your car, you take a hint and rent a roof because she and Checkers have also apparently been living in a house and on the dole with her two babies. Everything seemed fine as of Saturday, with Kayla productively bettering herself and her life via desperate Candy Crush requests. Then suddenly on Sunday a bizarre message appeared on tumblr:

They f**king got me.  They made me scared.  They took the light out of my eyes and the fun out of my heart.  They changed the person I was by scaring me into being what I ‘should’ f**king be.  It’s over but I will have to live with this god damn fear the rest of my life.  I f**king hate cops, I f**king hate them.

Since Kayla continued to post vague ‘this will pass’ type self-hugs to her tumblr after the message appeared it is a little hard to figure out what she’s talking about. Her “husband” Checkers seems to have been AWOL for a while in another state so it’s tough to know if he is part of whatever this odd drama is.

Though Kayla still can’t manage to keep her surroundings clean (or even keep bread in the house) at the very least they must be doing fine financially – Kayla seems to have enough extra money to have had new piercings done and apparently mentioned that she had intended to buy Checkers a tablet. So…at least those babies won’t be living in a car again anytime soon, hopefully. But what on earth can that cop drama be about?

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Mommy Blogging

Dooce Can’t Unclench Her Hands, Thinks Parenting Is Super Hard

Dooce, dramatic, is dramatically informing the world via her blog that she is empty with lonliness since being forced to find childcare outside her home. After apologizing for not posting very much because she is super omgbusy with all these important projects and ‘meetings’, the wahmbulance pulls into the driveway:

[M]y cousin left and I had to find other childcare for my girls during the day. It changed suddenly, overnight. And now I don’t see them for days. Yes, when I travel I don’t see my kids for just as long, but I do not enjoy being in my house without my kids…I had friends tell me that I would love the free time I’d have on the days and nights they are with their father. But the opposite is true. Those days shred my heart to pieces.

What Dooce fails to mention is that for some of those heart wrenching childfree days, she is running around with her little friend Matt. As recently as 4 days ago he departed Salt Lake City after a week or so visit with Il Dooce. Last month it was days and days off at a lake where she clearly looks absolutely gutted. The month before that she was obviously wallowing in despair during another of their getaways. And the month before that. And the month before that.

Look, I get that she’s basically phoning it in at this point. But what I don’t understand is how she can post long whines about how she has the sads being all alone all day while her kids are in totally optional child care, when it doesn’t seem she spent much time with those kids during the day in the first place. I mean before this she had some cousin watching them. Before that it was some person in her basement or something. Before that she had a nanny for how long? So it’s not like she’s a lifelong stay at home mom and her last baby just started college. And it’s not like she’s some sad single mom with no one in her life but her kids – she has her Halfnose Hipstergrammer and evidently plenty of family around.

I just don’t understand the disconnect between what this woman posts on her blog and what is obvious from her other online presence. Pick a plot and stick with it already.

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Mommy Blogging

Blogger Attempts To Kill Daughter, Herself

Kelli Stapleton, mother to an autistic daughter, was hospitalized Wednesday after attempting to kill herself and her child, Issy, late Tuesday. The mother and daughter were found unconscious on the shore of Lake Michigan with two portable charcoal grills burning inside the van. They were transported to the hospital and are being treated for carbon monoxide poisoning – and while Kelli is expected to recover, doctors fear 14 year old Issy may have permanent brain damage.

Earlier interviews with Kelli hinted that she might be reaching her limits:

“I felt like I needed witnesses…If I didn’t survive this situation, I wanted people to know that I was a good mom and I did everything I could do, and I asked for help from all these resources. … I’m grateful people read it and wanted to help.”

Kelli is expected to be arraigned sometime in the next week.

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WTF

“Crappy Pictures” Finds Your Repeated Requests Worthy Of Public Mockery

Amber, illustrated with crankyness, returned from vacation to find her email inbox packed with 668 emails.

Honestly, not too bad. I mean, it is sorta bad. But at least it isn’t over 1000 again.

Amber continues whining, while attempting to assure ua she isn’t whining, about all the emails from people asking her highness for things.

No big deal, nothing wrong with people asking for stuff.  I usually reply, but sometimes I don’t.

Fair enough, we all get email that we might ignore. Unfortunately one person continued to email several times wanting a response. Since there was a vacation auto-responder the continued emails were clearly the height of rudeness and demanded a public shaming on Amber’s site:

If you received an email reply that said anything other than the single word, “No” then I’m not talking about you. If you received an email reply that only said, “No” then I am talking about you. Please look up the word ‘annoying’ in a dictionary. And perhaps ‘vacation’ as well.

Well alrighty then. It must feel good to not only be dismissed with one word, but then see the blogger proceed to complain to their huge audience about what a nuisance you are. She just returned from vacation – surely she isn’t lacking material for a post, so why blow up something that is a daily, privately handled irritation for 99% of the world? Posts complaining about some email a blogger has to deal with always come off as divatastic to me, and I don’t understand why bloggers continue to post them.

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