Monthly Archives: October 2013

Food Blogging

Erin Will Use You For Food

Erin W., “a pretty face“, has dating site users in Toronto gathering pitchforks thanks to her blog – which details her strategy to “find a man, any man, even a woman to finance this delectable venture into the maze of Toronto’s hottest resto nabes”:

Exploiting men for meals is tough. I have to put up with a lot of bad conversation and to be honest for awhile there I didn’t think I was up for the challenge.

Warning the internet that “Toronto gold diggers exist. Be afraid, be very afraid”, she later wonders “now that I’m internet famous, do you think I can swindle some better looking richer guys to take me out?”

I hope so because ugh dating is a lot of work and sometimes this happens….that moment when you find out your date wants to talk & get to know you before they consent to dinner…Oh yea & that thing you do where you keep “checking in” with me to make sure I’m having a good time…yah, stop that.

This scheme sounds familiar. However, Erin has added a charming new facet to the ‘use people for expensive dinners’ scheme by going so far as to lie about being Christian or Jewish in order to lure wallets on sites like Christian Mingle and JDate:

These guys should feel honoured by this open invitation to date me.

HATERS GON HATE

Just what we needed – more proof that online dating is a crock of catfish. Good luck out there folks.

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WTF

Matt Would Appreciate A Positive Review

Matt, the poor beleaguered husband of KERF, is fighting back against the “jealous” people leaving negative yelp reviews about his chain bakery. Finally tired of the one-star avalanche befalling his company’s page he has at last responded - and the crux of his response basically boiled down to “omg trolls”:

I realize that my wife is has the minutest amount of celebritydom thanks to her blog.  Who knew her fame was so great that it inspires the amount of jealousy required to take time to create a yelp profile, write a tale with oddly specific details, and leave one review (only one on the entirety of yelp? hmmm)?

 He also took to his company facebook to solicit positive attention:

Nothing says professional like responding to yelp reviews with “my wife is famous so people are jealous”. LOL what?

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Mommy Blogging

Mr. “Hey Natalie Jean” Did Not Let An Animal Suffer

I JUST f**kING CAN NOT EVEN

Hey Natalie Jean, the advertiser friendly rebrand of Nat the Fat Rat, continues to attract new readers with her new persona. Unfortunately new readers tend to read your archives, and evidently an old entry has come to light on Nattypoo’s site that has completely freaked out new fans.

It seems a few years ago her father-in-law sent the happy couple an odd little schnauzer statue. They took this little dog statue on an adventure which they photographed, and lols were had by all. Oh wait, except right in the middle of this cute little anecdote, Ratalie casually recalls a story about a real live dog:

The Holbrooks have this thing with Schnauzers, it’s like their thing. There was once one named Schnapps, there was one named Spritzer. The one named Spritzer came into the family on The Holbs’s eleventh birthday and then I accidently inherited him when we got married and then one day Spritzer jumped off our third story balcony and then The Holbs strangled him to death out of mercy.

Yep. In 2009 awesome positive life lover Ratalie was flippantly sharing tales of her husband strangling a dog to death. And not in a horrified, this-memory-haunts-me way. In an ‘anyway the dog was hurt so the father of my child crushed the windpipe of a helpless animal, teehee here are pics of where I peed on a road trip’ kind of way.

I’m confused as to why this post is still up on her site. You’d think something like this would have been edited out during her rebranding. Or before. Or maybe just never posted at all. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll be over here throwing up until forever.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

MRAs Celebrate “Fat Shaming Week”

just wow

Return of Kings, a site “for masculine men”, is currently celebrating the internet’s latest trending topic – “Fat Shaming Week”. In a post worthy of RoRo himself, they attempt to help men avoid the “mother of all of online-dating dangers” –  the “secret internet fatty”.

Their helpful list of signs to watch out for includes ‘Pictured with food or talks about “loving food”‘, ‘Has fat friends’, ‘Has sausage fingers’, and ‘Describes herself as “average” or “curvy”‘. And a big sign that a woman is a secret internet fatty:

You can’t see her collar bone.
One thing Myspace Angles and similar tricks can’t hide is the absence of a collar bone. If you can’t see it, she’s overweight.

Apparently “[a]voiding fatties requires a tremendous amount in work in 2013″ and today’s men need to be protected from evil women who love food or utilize myspace angles. Thank goodness for Fat Shaming Week. Maybe some of us porkers will finally put down our forks and force our bodies to please the ever important male gaze!

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Mommy Blogging

Weirdos Continue To Prove Your Pictures Are Totally Safe Online

twins

Today from the online world of baby catfishing comes yet another example of how internet nuts will misuse all those photos you put online featuring your babies and kids.

It seems some facebook has been created to share the story of micropreemies Camdyn and Cade. The facebook page implies the mother of the twins created the page – except the woman known as Rebekeh Gordon is NOT the mother of these children. The real mother of the children has evidently discovered what’s going on, and is now on the fakey’s facebook wall calling out the deception:

They are MY kids! She has copied my blog word for word. Look back at my early posts and you will see all the pics she has posted as her kids. It makes me furious!

Other relatives are also joining in:

I do not know who you are but I must be your Mother according to your story because those are my grandchildren.

This is crazy!!! These children belong to my husbands cousin and they are not babies anymore. This is very disturbing and needs to be taken down.

How could you do this? You are sick! These children are not yours! Was there even a “BEAN” Gordon. I can’t believe you are doing this to a member of my husband’s family.

Various folks are calling for the police to be called, while others are pointing out that her new claim of having a recent miscarriage is probably also a lie. There’s a lot of pitchfork waving and name calling though, so this should be interesting to watch at least until facebook removes the page. Considering how often baby pics are stolen and used I continue to be surprised anyone still has public pics of their kid on the internet at all.

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Mommy Blogging

Katie Vyktoriah Quietly Rejoins The Internet

NOW it's legal

Katie Vyktoriah, of pink headband fame, has reactivated A Mother Thing. There is no new content as of yet, so who knows what her plan is. Her twitter and facebook appear to be online as well.

Katie vanished from the internet two months ago after her claim of a homophobic redneck assaulting her toddler at a Wal-Mart began to unravel under scrutiny. Speculation about her whereabouts and what, if any, evidence was ever found to back up her claims has kept many internet corners busy since her disappearance. The only development we’ve found so far is an apparent wedding ceremony in Las Vegas to that “husband” she wasn’t technically married to.

I’m eager to see how she intends to re-enter the internetosphere. Will she milk what happened, or just ignore it and move on? Maybe Hugo can send her some tips on how to unquit the internet.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Hugo Schwyzer Stops Blogging Oh Wait No He Doesn’t

uhhhh

Hugo Schwyzer, won’t let you forget he’s the real victim in all this, announced on September 30th that he would no longer be writing or blogging, saying he could “do no more serious good writing as Hugo Schwyzer”. In typical Hugo fashion his resolve lasted less than a week before he was back on his blog, publishing and deleting posts with all the natural passive aggressive flair of a 14 year old girl on LiveJournal.

Now Huggy has a new post up, a post that will surely make you see that he is the ultimate male feminist – because he has been the victim of men too!

The breakthrough came in therapy this week. I had been raped. It happened in 1986, a generation ago, when I was an attention-starved 19 year-old. My rapist was an older Navy sailor, a massive man.

Yes folks, he is now rewriting the story of an encounter he has apparently previously portrayed as “hot” and “consensual” as a brutal and violent sexual assault. And he’s not just your average assault victim – he’s a double victim because he’s a man!

Technically, I was a legal adult when I was raped by a man twice my age. Had I been a 19 year-old girl assaulted by a sailor in his 40s, there might have been more sympathy…

I don’t mean to be cynical here, but isn’t this a rather convenient moment for a sympathy inducing 27 year old rape claim? Wouldn’t this revelation have done more good back when he was running with the feminists and acting like men are terrible monsters? And how does he keep getting access to the internet?

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DIY Blogging

Young House Love Pregnant With Second Child

After weeks of speculation here on GOMIBLOG and photoshopping her pictures to hide her bump, the Petersiks have finally confirmed that they are expecting their second child in April.

bunnersik

They have promised to “answer your questions” in a follow-up post later in the week.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Hugo Schwyzer Injures Woman While Driving Under The Influence

Hugo Schwyzer, the man baffling geologists with his constant reinvention of the term ‘rock bottom‘, has now moved on to further layers of fail. Apparently on September 27, Hugo injured another driver while driving under the influence:

On Friday, while driving with my mother to the family ranch, I caused an accident under the influence of 6 milligrams of Klonopin just outside of San Juan Bautista. My mother and I are well, but I seriously injured a young woman driver. She was airlifted from the scene and will make, I’m so happy to say a full recovery.

Hugo went on to say he knows he was a bad boy and will take his lumps:

I confessed my drugged state to the Highway Patrol and was arrested. I have been charged with felony DUI, which carries severe penalties. I am at this time reluctant to allow a lawyer to plea bargain anything down. When a a man drives under the influence and hurts someone, he should pay the penalty.

His court date is currently set for November 5th.

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