Monthly Archives: March 2014

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Mormon In Manhattan Noticed The New Baptism Video

OH NO NOT BROWN PEOPLE

Natalie Hill, man getting expert, spent Sunday ugly crying into her pillow over some Mormon women’s conference. But it seems some of those tears were also salty with confusion. Evidently her sister made the previous baptism video clip – but around the 1:30:00 mark, Natalie and her sister noticed something different:

wait wuh

…wuuuuut? Natalie’s other sister chimed in with her feelings as well:

i wut wut

Well, those Hill girls sure are a swell bunch. Such great representatives of the open minded universal love of the Mormon church. Where do I sign up?

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Food Blogging

Gluten-Free Girl Adopts Baby

adopted

Shauna Ahern, picture of gluten free health, has finally convinced someone to give her a baby. After complaining last year that adoption was hard because she couldn’t get the exact baby she wanted, Shauna is now posting pics of her new baby all over instagram and, of course, posting about it on her blog.

Last week, on March 19th, we met our son…When I first heard about open adoption…I was scared. I wanted to be the mother, the only mother…But a good friend of ours told me something that changed our minds. She also didn’t want to try open adoption at first. And then she realized this: it’s all about having a story for your child.

Really? That’s what adoption is about? Having a story for your child? Anyway, it seems Shauna wants to blog safely because they are now going back to their comment free policy for the foreseeable future.

…we also want a little more quiet in our public life right now. So we’re going back to the policy we tried last year of no comments. Looking back, it was lovely. What we write and cook is meant to be an offering. If you really want to talk to us, you can reach us by email, on the Facebook page, on Twitter, and on Instagram.

Yep, nothing says ‘want to be quiet in our public life’ life like saturating your instagram feed with pictures and videos of an adopted newborn before the ink on the papers is even dry. I just wonder if are they going to take little Des along on their eating tours. Maybe having a newborn will help them with their next fundraiser!

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Mommy Blogging

The Bielankos Break Up

In news that will shock absolutely no one, click bait expert Monica Bielanko and her husband are separating.

For so long I’ve allowed myself to be this dysfunctional individual who struggles within a dysfunctional marriage, even going so far as to convince myself that couples who fight are normal, that Serge and I are charmingly dysfunctional…

Part of me doubts that Monica just came to her senses and turned into a rational adult all of a sudden, but she claims that’s pretty much what happened.

Several months ago, after another argument about who the hell knows what, it all just kind of bubbled up inside me…Our marriage sucks. And it has for a while now. I’ve been unhappy for a long time but have become so used to living this way I assumed this was it in life.

So it seems little Band-Aid Bielanko didn’t fix things after all. Does this mean they will finally close up their joint Babble column?

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Healthy Living Blogging

Ashley Will Crash Your Race And Take Selfies

The Race Pirate

Ashley Hesseltine, selfie taker, recently decided to copy the selfie stunt of another marathon runner and selfie stunt during a marathon of her own. Of course, she didn’t see the need to pay the race fee just to selfie:

I put it out there on social media–”Anyone have an extra bib number so I can follow in this glorious girl’s footsteps (literally)?”…Aaaaand crickets…So, being the rule breaker I am, I ran it anyway.

With captions like “The ‘Waiting to Start the Race in a Corral You Snuck Into Because You Don’t Have a Bib Number’ Selfie” and “The ‘This Sweaty Shirtless Dude Is About to Rape My Arm With His Arm’ Selfie” Ashley jogged and tongue-thrusted her way through her free race. When other runners began to berate her for hijacking a race she didn’t pay to participate in, Ashley shot back:

And to all the runners who have too much time on their hands and posted ridiculous hate comments below: A) Thanks for the pageviews. B) Please note I tried up until the night before to get a number. I didn’t even know if I would even finish the race–I just wanted to go out there, run on PUBLIC ROADS, show off our beautiful, amazing city, and make an entertaining blog post that was actually enjoyed by quite a few people who ran the race. And C) I’ve run this race two other times and paid for it and I plan to again. If you’re losing sleep over this, tell me where to send the check. I’ll take a selfie with it.  LYLAS.

I’m not a runner (unless the taco truck drives away before I get there) but isn’t it generally considered bad form to pirate races this way? Especially for your own publicity stunts? I assumed they would discourage randoms just showing up to run for free when other people are paying entry fees. Not that Ashley seems to care about such etiquette.

So anyway…I guess by the laws of Supporting Women we are all now supposed to say “you go girl, race for you”?

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

CheyB Will Tell Single Moms How To Raise A Son

CheyB, “relationship expert”, has already gifted us vaginal citizens with top secret info about men that women “need” to know. Now he is going to help single mothers raise decent man children.

Unfortunately, in many cases, a young male may love his mother to death, but the respect factor isn’t always there simply because you’re a woman. The extent of that respect will be simply because you’re his mother. What he needs is a man who will enforce rules, regulations, standards, requirements and firm consequences for breaking rules.

His advice includes awesome tips like “strategically position him around a man who has power and influence” and finding a man to advise and guide your son because discipline “feels like it’s “nagging”” when it “comes from a woman”.

There you go, single moms of sons – hand your boy over to a man before he turns into a useless hoodlum, because he’s never going to respect a mere woman.

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DIY Blogging

Young House Love Launching Target Collection

The big secret project Young House Love is itching to reveal has been leaked to GOMIBLOG – and it’s just a bunch of cheap Target accessories.

yawn

Featuring already played out things they have tried to make happen in the past (we get it, you have a chihuahua) the collaboration appears to mostly be decorative hooks and weird doorknobs. So for all you YHL “dawgs” who were making panty pudding waiting for their big announcement tomorrow, there you go. Hooray or something.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

XOJane Will Make It Easy For Your Abuser

XOJane, where pageviews are apparently more important than people, just published a post called “It Happened To Me: I Live With My Abuser” that details the author’s story of moving back in with the stepfather who she alleges sexually abused her.

When I graduated high school, my only goal was to move away from him, as far as possible. That only ended up being Mississippi. My time in college was miserable…In 2012, I finally left college and moved from Mississippi back to my family home in Texas, where I am today…My plan was to move home and immediately find a “good-paying” job where I could move out and start my own life. I haven’t been so lucky in finding that job. I currently work part-time as a receptionist, and my life is a mess.

In the post, which also features a picture of the author and intense details of her abuse and resulting depression, the author claims “I know that if, given the opportunity, he would abuse me again” before saying the abuse has never been reported.

Do the XOJane editors not wonder for a moment what would happen to this woman if her stepfather found this post, with her picture and all her allegations? Or do they just not care because pageview$?

Update: XOJane commenters have created a fund to help the author get out of her situation. You can donate here. I wish the best of luck to the author, and if anyone else has any resources to recommend please feel to add them in the comments.

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