Monthly Archives: April 2014

Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Would Like You To Find Her A Place To Live

Eh, it's been 4 years, why fix the window now, right?

Cecily Kellogg, definitely moving because she just wants to and for no other reason, has put out the call to her fangirls to help her find a house. Saying they are “definitely planning to move at some point in the next six months or so”, she then provides a list of requirements:

We’re looking for rental properties (3 bedroom), and we’d prefer to live in the Clark Park/Cedar Park section of West Philly. However, we’re also considering Roxborough/East Falls/Germantown (we’d love Mt. Airy, but it’s mostly out of our price range), possibly Brewerytown/Fairmount/Francisville, and even Newbold/South Philly (that’s all in order of preference). What we’d love is a nice long term rental; it doesn’t have to be perfect and it can definitely be quirky. We have pets too. So, basically: if you hear of anything, will you let one of us know? We’re pretty flexible, and we definitely want to rent, but we’d love a long-term relationship (hubba hubba).  Anyway. Keep us in mind.

There’s no word on how the sale of her house is going – questions to that effect are pointedly ignored. But we’re sure it’s going just fine because Cecily is moving because she wants to, not because she has to. I guess it’s the stress from trying to bribe her daughter into accepting the move that renders her unable to contact realtors, search craigslist, or browse newspapers on her own to find a rental house. Because unless she’s basically asking her fangirls to provide her a property to live in I really don’t see what any of them could do that she couldn’t do herself.

I’m starting to think bloggers can’t do ANYTHING without crowdsourcing.

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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

“Cup Of Jo” Joins The Bathroom Baby Brigade

Maybe a little too real.

Joanna Goddard, Shakespeare expert, has apparently decided to keep it ‘real’ by revealing she too has a Bathroom Baby.

We gave Anton his very own room…our second bathroom! (Insert cringing emoji here.) During the day, he shares the nursery with Toby when they’re playing, but for naps and bedtime, he cuddles up in his travel crib in the bathroom. We put a pillow between the crib and the toilet and plug in our trusty noise machine.

Yes, just like That Wife, Jo has relegated her offspring to a toilet dungeon. But…but…he loves it!

Funnily enough, Anton actually seems to like his little space. As soon as we carry him in there and begin singing “You Are My Sunshine,” he’ll immediately lean his head against our shoulders and start sucking his thumb.

I’d start sucking my thumb too if I were being carried into a dark room full of plumbing sounds. Look – I get that it’s hard to give up your city dweller hipster cred, but why don’t these mommy bloggers give their kids bedrooms already?

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Fashion Blogging

RewardStyle Con Over, Fashion Blogging World Remains Unchanged

Well the RewardStyle Rockstud Rodeo (or ‘conference’) is over, and as the Plastics hold up airport security lines on their way to Cabo, it’s time for the rest of the fashion blogging world to pull out their anonymous claws and discuss the event on message boards.

The event itself seems to be a big Behold The Fabulousness of Us party where RewardStyle thanks a bunch of venal, shopping obsessed women for turning other people into frantic trend consumers. So, basically Lucky FABB but with a free trip to Mexico for the Homecoming Queens. Judging by the instagram hashtag stream it’s about as shallow as you’d expect.

There were lots of ‘bottom half of a mannequin’ shots.

WHY DO WOMEN DO THISThen it was off to the Ewing’s, apparently so everyone could instagram their orange juice.

If your blog's not a hit, you must uh, quit. Get it? OJ joke? Too soon?

And of course, the reason they all really went – to show off their played out as hell rockstud shoes.

These things are harder to kill than roaches.

Gee, looks like…yeah looks like absolutely no fun at all, sorry gals. Looks exhausting and vapid. But hey, here’s to another year of making $50k a month by selling people luxury trends they don’t need! Hurray!

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DIY Blogging

Young House Love Is Just Too Popular Now, Guys

Young House Love, Target junk peddlers, announced today that their blog is just too big now to like, even deal with, dawgs:

We’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately: what exactly are our goals? What are we working towards? Hoping to gain? The answer, we realized, was definitely not more blog hits or traffic or approval. Honestly we both feel unsettled by the idea of our blog growing any larger, and we look fondly back on the earlier days when we worked less, slept more, and spent more quality time with our family and friends.

Apparently they will now be doing only 3-5 posts a week and no longer posting on “Young House Life”. They are totally fine with it if you “decide to tune out” now, because they didn’t even ASK for this success anyway:

Teddy is our last baby and Clara is just a year away from kindergarten (how did that happen?!), so we want to enjoy this time with them instead of working our nights, weekends, and vacations away chasing some business goal we don’t even want.

So begins the end of another blog’s life cycle. I guess it’s good they are at least being honest that they just don’t feel like dealing with it all anymore and will be pulling back rather than just letting it die a slow agonizing crappy post filled death like Dooce.com. But it’s a little disingenuous of them to act like they are making a brave and scary choice and will sacrifice financial gain for family crap. They have a grillion side projects that no doubt have made them very financially comfortable whether they post 9 times a day or once a week. But I guess the “lil ole us” act is part of their schtick so I’ll just eyeroll off to another blog now.

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Internets

“American Blogger” Viewing And Live Blog Party Tonight

LET'S DO THIS

Get your Franzia ready, hams. Your intrepid porklord has purchased and downloaded the OMG HI RES version of “American Blogger“.

I’ll be liveblogging the viewing with selected screenshots and commentary, and I’ll post selected screenshots in the the comments for open caption fun.

Stay tuned to this post!
On to the TL;DR…

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Mommy Blogging

Flora And Fauna Pregnancy Confirmed

We already knew.

As suspected on GOMI 8 weeks ago, Tatiana of Flora and Fauna is pregnant with number two. She made the announcement with her usual overblown blogger language:

Every night when we climb in bed papa bear is so anxious about feeling the baby move. I tell him it’s too early for him to feel anything yet so he just rubs my blossoming belly instead and asks me how the baby is doing today.

I guess “Mama Bear” was waiting until the professional photo shoot was done before announcing what the GOMI Pregnancy Test already knew. We look forward to seeing what new Pinterest inspired personality she will switch to now.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

“American Blogger” Being Released Tomorrow

Casey Wiegand has announced that her husband’s stunning cinematography project “American Blogger”, also known as “The Movie About The Wiegand’s Friends”, will now be released tomorrow instead of in June.

Originally the plan for the film was that Chris would release the film in June on iTunes only…Because the release of the trailer didn’t go anything like what we expected, Chris has decided to release the movie on Wednesday via a different source.

Chris Wiegand is also issuing a disclaimer with the movie, which is basically a masterpiece of attempted backpedaling:

The way in which these women tell their stories with authenticity does represent the bravery and passion of American Bloggers, but please know: not all categories of American Bloggers are represented in this film. There are still many more stories to be told.

The disclaimer also has Chris saying “This film is not meant to validate blogging as a career”. This is basically the opposite of what he said to Daily Dot just two weeks ago, when he told an interviewer ”I want to validate these bloggers”.

So…viewing party in my basement tomorrow, hams?

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DIY Blogging Fashion Blogging Internets Mommy Blogging

Roundup: Here’s Some Things That Don’t Really Require A Full Post

Young House Love had their baby boy Theodore last Wednesday. Of course with their posting lag time, that could mean he came out back in March.

Jen Loves Kev are evidently going to start fostering kids with the intent of adopting some.

Messica of What I Wore has started complaining about gaining 15 pounds in the past 5 months of pregnancy. I may be wrong, but isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?

The site inspired by The Great XOJane exodus of 2014 is apparently launching today, calling itself The Flounce. Don’t feel obligated to check it out – it’s basically just XOJane, but less user friendly.

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Fashion Blogging

Kendi Closing Her Storefront

Kendi at Bloom

While I was apparently under a rock, Kendi of “Kendi Everyday” announced her three year old store Bloom will be closing its brick and mortar location.

We are closing our store front on May 10th. We are not closing our online shop, but we will slow things down so that we can re-evaluate what we really want bloom to become…

The building her store was located in has been sold, and Kendi has been unable to find another place to rent nearby.

Sometimes you can’t control everything; and choices you have to make don’t make sense just yet. This is one of those times. I always want a plan to forge ahead with but I’m standing in front of you guys saying I have no plan. But I promise to keep you updated when I do find that plan, even if I have to try out a few until I find the right one.

Kendi went on to thank everyone for their support, and stated it’s “been the best experience I could have ever asked for”. She ended with an upbeat outlook, saying she “can’t wait to see where we go next”.

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Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Moving For Some Reason

In case you missed it Cecily Kellogg, financial adviser, has “begun to plan, seriously, for moving sometime this summer”.

We know where we want to move – an area of Philly called West Philly/University City – because it’s halfway between my mom’s place and Tori’s school. It will save us tons of commuting time and will also allow us much better access to public transportation if we choose.

Not understanding the fixation on access to public transportation since they supposedly have a van, but ok. She then goes on to set up a back story for this totally voluntary move.

While we’ve been discussing moving for a long time, it finally felt like reality to Tori and she had some tough feelings about it. Luckily, I took her to Ikea to buy her a desk for her room and we talked about what we could do in a new room for her and she got excited about moving. Though she will miss having a nice front yard.

Since Cecily claims she is saving for family vacations and attending weddings on the other side of the country and thus unable to attend any blogger conferences…how exactly are they going to afford to move? They can’t even keep their current home in proper repair as it is. I can’t imagine what they will wind up doing to a rental if they manage to get $10k together to move in the first place.

Blogger finances just baffle the crap out of me.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

“Sunshine Mary” Closing Blog

Sunshine Mary,  anti-feminism hero and rape culture denier, has announced she is leaving the internet.

I would like to let readers know that I have reached the very difficult decision to stop writing my blog.  This is a sad and hard post for me to write, but I feel that an explanation ought to be given here. I have been the victim of a vicious (and needless) smear campaign; this is not a problem per se, but my children have been brought into it and their safety and security has been compromised.  As a mother, I cannot continue to write this blog if it endangers my family.

Saying “It is not my preference to do this, but my hand has been forced and I am left with no other options” due to “the extreme aggression of two women” Sunshine Mary then went on to detail the alleged harassment, even including the text of an email supposedly sent around containing links to her daughter’s (public) Google+ account.

Well, if nothing else this will probably just confirm for Sunshine Mary that all women except her are evil b***hes. As if she needed further nudging towards hating anything with a vagina.

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Internets WTF

“American Blogger” Movie Takes Blogging Circle Jerk To New Level

oh shut up

Well it seems that “behold the glory of us” project the Wiegands announced last year is finally finished. “American Blogger” now has a trailer up on vimeo and is apparently “coming soon”.

The trailer claims its “stunning cinematography” will “leave you feeling inspired” by a “movement” that “could change the world”. It then features a bunch of bloggers talking about how awesome blogging is, with the usual such brave, much influential self-back patting. One blogger explains it all by saying ”If we’re keeping it private, why are we experiencing it?”

I’ve said from the start that this entire project just seems like a way for the Wiegands to circle jerk with their blogger friends. This has to be the most self-indulgent tripe that has come out of the blogging world to date, and I don’t understand why it needs to exist or what it offers to the world of cinema. But hey, some hipster got to take a road trip in his Airstream and call himself a filmmaker, and a bunch of bloggers got to rhapsodize about their own importance. Hooray, internets.

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WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Will Kick Off Your Week With Some “WTF Why Would You Say That”

WTF Sunday

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