Monthly Archives: May 2014

Mommy Blogging

Kelli Stapleton Needs You To Buy Her An Expert

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After 9 months in jail Kelli Stapleton, the blogger who attempted to kill her daughter and herself, is said to be going to trial July 16th. In anticipation of this the “Friends of Kelli” are trying to raise money yet again – this time to finance the testimony of an expert witness on Kelli’s behalf:

Right now we are seeking funds to hire an expert witness we believe will give important insight to the judge and jury at her trial. Currently, Kelli has no assets to speak of and we are growing extremely concerned about her future without this expert witness. The charges against Kelli hold a maximum sentence of life in prison with the possibility of parole.

Kelli’s camp previously raised almost $17,000 dollars back in September, but Kelli’s supporters say they now need more – they “currently need to raise funds in EXCESS of $20,000 for an expert witness crucial to Kelli’s defense”.

I know it’s normal to compensate experts who provide testimony, but is $20k the norm for such a thing? Anyway, if this is something you want to support you can donate via paypal or by mailing a written check – and they assure you that all the money will “go to Kelli’s personal account”.

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Mommy Blogging

“Mommy Wants Vodka” Allegedly Charged With Two Felonies

Becky Harks, the human carnival who runs the blog “Mommy Wants Vodka” and an abuse/assault survivor site called Band Back Together, has been claiming for a while now that some stranger has been physically assaulting her. The first post apparently appeared in early May.

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Now it seems Becky is claiming the police do not believe her multiple reports of these phantom men attacking her, informing facebook tonight:

Going to turn myself into the cops tonight who claim I filed a false report.

She has evidently again updated facebook, saying only:

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In response to all this…whatever is going on, her “Pranksters” have started – you guessed it – a fundraiser!

This money will go to purchase video surveillance, mace and whatever else Aunt Becky needs to be safe!

She posted pics of herself with unexplained black eyes in April before going on to post pics of her bruised face on facebook in May, claiming she was being randomly assaulted. On May 8th she started calling herself “The Face of Assault”. According to sources, she has told multiple versions of the alleged assaults, and after comparing notes no one is sure what the real story is. The only thing we know for certain is that all of her posts about these events are not public on facebook, despite the fact that making this alleged travesty of justice public would probably produce an instant viral story, and probably help vindicate her as the public put pressure on the police to investigate the alleged assaults.

Who knows what is actually going on. This is some internets wtf if I ever saw it, though. Hooray, Friday mystery!

Update: From the court website search of her name:

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Lifestyle Blogging

Amazon Will Scrub Your One Star Review Of “Ramshackle Glam”

Jordan Reid, has the hardest working agent/manager ever, has been waiting patiently for her first book to make some kind of ripple. As of May 19th, however, her Amazon listing only had 14 reviews, most of them obviously from personal friends or fangirls – though there were two 1 star reviews.

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Strangely as of today Jordan’s book only has 12 reviews – and the two 1 star ratings seem to have ramshackle vanished.

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With Jordan working on her second book it would obviously help her a lot if her first literary attempt had a solid 5 star rating. Is it possible someone in Jordacted’s camp had her Amazon listing scrubbed? Or did Amazon just take pity on the pretty white lady and try to do her a solid all of their own free will? It is a mystery.

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Internets Mommy Blogging

“Type-A Parent” Survey Proves Mommy Blogging Is Not A Pot Of Gold

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Type-A Parent, arranges a bunch of conferences for mommy bloggers, revealed last month that mommy bloggers don’t actually make squat. Now AdWeek has provided a more in-depth breakdown of the responses, and it’s pretty eye opening.

It seems most respondents invest more in premium blog themes and conferences than in actual advertising, and “product reviews” are number two in the list of covered topics with “causes” coming in dead last. The survey also reports that the “most despised job title by far is mommy blogger, with two out of three respondents saying they either hate it or never use it” – “blogger” or “writer” are the most popular job descriptions.

Most surprising of all is the news that only 5% of mommy bloggers actually earn enough to possibly make it worth a full time job. Most mommy bloggers report earning less than $100 per month, and around 20% earn $500-2500 a month, mostly from sponsored posts.

So for those of you aspiring to become the next Dooce, good luck. It sounds like you won’t be making much, and you’ll be spending most of it on business cards and attending conferences to convince other mommy bloggers to read your mommy blog. Sounds like a super awesome career.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Is Noonday Silencing Questions?

hm ok

With questions beginning to be raised about the #StyleForJustice trip, Noonday is apparently circling wagons. Their non-response after ignoring and allegedly deleting comments asking what percentage of the money actually goes to the artisans has caused some former supporters to lose patience.

International Justice Mission is changing the conversation around poverty and I wanted the women in our Noonday community to join in that conversation…We are going to CONNECT. We are connecting with the talented men and women Noonday relies on to bring amazing products to our customers.

Since the comments on the rambling ‘we are like, super nice people, so like, whatever we do is awesome’ post were disabled, folks attempted to ask Noonday some direct questions on the previous post. One asked:

Straightforward question. If you can’t answer this clearly and without beating around the bush, you should not be in business. Ready?  What is the $ figure or percentage that you pay the men and women who make your products?

While another said:

By evading the simplest questions with wordy “non-answers,” you are making yourselves completely transparent to the awful motives you have previously concealed behind a lovely, whitewashed version of poverty tourism.

So far Noonday does not seem to have addressed these questions or statements, and continues to appear either evasive or confused. Is repeating over and over that they are starting conversations and sharing stories and saying “but, job creation!” supposed to make everyone nod and cheer without further probing? Because I don’t think that’s going to work.

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Internets WTF

Ben Wants You To Finance His Luxury

ohcomeon

Ben, a travel blogger, is proud of his crowning achievement.

Through the use of miles and points I’ve been the only independent reviewer to publish reports on every single A380 first class product currently in service.

Well now Etihad Airways has introduced what is essentially a flying hotel room. Called “Residences”, the ultra first class option includes three rooms and a butler. Off course, since the one way ticket for this pointless display of wealth is around $20,000, poor Ben needs the internet to fund his experience:

With only one “Residence” per flight, this may very well be the first A380 premium cabin product for which you can’t redeem miles. This may change over time, but with only one “cabin” per flight it’s highly unlikely.

As a result, it may be a long time before we get an independent review of Etihad’s A380 Residences.

What I propose is flying the Residences product within the first week it’s in service, so I can report on all aspects of the experience. Chances are it would otherwise be a long time before we get an unbiased review of Etihad’s new product.

Because obviously this product needs to be reviewed by some travel blogging scrub who can’t even afford the fare. How else will incredibly filthy rich people ever know whether the fare is worth it!

I don’t really follow travel bloggers but is it pretty standard to have other people pay for your ridonkulous travel dreams under the guise of public service? And who are the idiots who have already raised over $13k for this stunt?

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Babblewatch Ends

who cares

Babble, nobody cares anymore but I sort of feel like I need to finish out this storyline, has returned after being offline for over half a month. Apparently now on a WordPress platform, the site went live with a bunch of crap still not working (author pages display posts from the wrong contributors).

Babble overlords have still not satisfactorily explained why they needed to be offline, though writers are hearing through the grapevine they will be paid their April earnings “next week”. One source who wishes to remain anonymous claims employees are basically bound by contract to remain publicly silent on what’s happening at Babble, so we may never know wtf is really going on over there.

But does anyone really care anymore at this point? Thought so. This may as well just be an open post.

Update/correction: DadCamp says Babble has been on WordPress for at least 2 years. So now I have no idea wtf they’ve been doing all this time.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

White Women Will Bring Justice To Africa With Style And Hashtags

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Kelle Hampton, cares about the safety of women and young girls, is teaming up with 7 other white middle class women to bring “justice” to Rwanda. How will they do that? With a trip sponsored by a jewelry company, duh.

This summer, we’re fusing fashion and justice as Noonday Collection partners with International Justice Mission for the #StyleForJustice Story Team Trip to Rwanda. Join us as we journey with a group of storytellers in order to spread the word that when we use our purchasing power for good and pursue the cause of justice, hope for the poor is possible.

They are even having a contest so one of you (yes, YOU!) can join them. And how can you win? Well first you submit your entry, then you get your social media community to vote the crap out of you. Out of the top 7 most voted for, Kelle Hampton and pals will select the 3 they want to come along. Then those 3 will vote beg some more until the winner is announced.

Yes, nothing spreads global justice like jewelry, social media popularity contests, and poverty tourism. I guess Kelle has to do something to win next year’s Iris Award, right?

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Mommy Blogging

Holly Doesn’t Want Your Ugly Toys, Kid

noooo

Holly Becker, apparently an interior decorator or something, has a 3 month old meatloaf. Like most new mothers Holly is mostly concerned about making sure her house doesn’t look like a toy store full of unattractive bright plastic toys. (That is what most new mothers are concerned about, right?) The obvious first step towards accomplishing this? Go out and purchase your child unattractive bright plastic toys, of course.

I did something I thought I’d never do and bought a play mat that is obnoxiously colorful, loud, silky, shiny, plastic and well, just NOT pretty. The designer in me is going a little nuts having it sitting in the middle of the living room.

And since kids are basically nature’s little defiance machines, the kid obviously loves the ugly thing. Poor Holly is coping by shoving the one non-stylish toy her child apparently owns behind the sofa when other adults come over, but still hopes to keep the aesthetic impact to a minimum:

Some of you may think it’s selfish to think about things like how my house looks, but I care not to please others but to please myself. I don’t want my home to look like Toys R Us.

Maybe it’s different with pets, but I always kind of assumed The Tall People Who Control The Money were in charge of controlling what toys came in as well. If it bothers her that much why did she buy it? I just don’t understand this at all. Mommies on the internet are so confusing sometimes.

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DIY Blogging WTF

“Little Green Notebook” Does Not Want Your Constructive Criticism

Jenny, the DIYer behind the “Little Green Notebook” blog, recently posted about her bathroom makeover. Unfortunately not everyone loved the painted black tile and blue painter’s tape plugging and said so in some very straightforward ways.

Well Jenny’s had enough. Responding to the meanies by telling them “it’s not fun to get comments like the handful of negative ones above”, she went on to say:

It’s just hard to see the point, other than to hurt me. So just in case you were wondering if I wanted any “constructive criticism” here – the answer is, probably not. Especially if the point of the comment is just to tell me how unbelievably bad you think the room is.

She then instructed people to “keep comments to only positive thoughts” because “after a while it just starts to feel like bullying” when you negative brutes say you don’t like her rooms.

I’d really like to see anyone in a real job go tell their customers and bosses that they only want to hear “positive” feedback, because negative feedback is bullying. Someone go try that and let me know how it works out.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

“That Wife” Is Too Lazy For Baths

uh once a week?

Jenna Cole, caring mother, spent Mother’s Day giving her children their ‘weekly bath’. Yes, just like they did in the days before running water Jenna washes her children only once a week. And how’s that working out?

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You read correctly – her son’s friend at school told him he stank. When commenters pointed out that maybe it’s time to scrub her stinker more often no matter the time of year, Jenna simply told them they need to read a book on the “history of bathing”. Asked why she only washes her kids once a week in the first place, Jenna responded with classic Jenna-ness.

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So basically it has nothing to do with her “academic-lite” position on personal hygiene, and everything to do with her wanting motherhood to be as little work as possible. Such an inspiration for “single” moms everywhere!

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Mommy Blogging

Roundup: Mother’s Day Edition

It’s Mother’s Day, and internet mommies are making sure you know they are mothers and have children which makes them mothers. Here’s a few of the things internet mommies did this week.

Dooce was off in New  York City again with her boyfriend earning herself another Iris Award for her selfless luncheoning on behalf of Every Mother Counts.

Gluten-free Girl posted an endless story highlighting her awesomeness as a mother because she diagnosed her daughter with gluten issues, and ended by once again shaming the planet for not catering to her food needs.

What I Wore‘s Messica ate donuts. Again.

KERF drank coffee in bed with her tablet, and got a bottle of perfume.

Emily Henderson managed to make the missing Nigerian girls about her, because she is a mom now, so she totally gets what those girls’ moms must be feeling I guess. Then she posted an instagram video of her son because pageviews.

Happy Mother’s Day, hams! I hope you get to enjoy some uninterrupted Franzia and snark today!

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Internets Mommy Blogging

Babblewatch Continues, Bloggers Start Asking Questions

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As Babble.com marks its ninth day being offline bloggers finally seem to be asking some questions. One tweeted “Is Babble just dead? Being revamped? I am so confused” with another blogger responding that the situation is “really weird” and “the management was getting really secretive & dodgy”.

The exchange included this tantalizing tidbit:

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This information was apparently obtained “in a closed FB group for bloggers”. Babble continues to claim it is merely a “server outage” via their twitter account, while the Babble facebook has not been updated since April 30th. Babble/Disney Interactive’s Catherine Connors has said only “I so, so wish that I could say more, but it’s not up to me. I am very sorry for that”.

With Mother’s Day on Sunday it’s baffling that such a huge mommy-centric site should continue to be offline with no real explanation or updates about the status of the alleged “outage”. I hope they have at least kept their contributors and staff in the loop with the truth.

Babblewatch continues.

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