Monthly Archives: July 2014

Lifestyle Blogging

Sparkling Adventures Will Provide You With A “Gayby”

sobrave

Sparkling Adventures, there are no words, has announced to the world she is once again pregnant. But she’s not regular pregnant, she’s cool pregnant. With a “gayby”!

I’m delighted to share publicly that I’m pregnant again — but the baby isn’t mine. I’m growing a child for close friends of mine who can’t naturally conceive and birth their own child.

Well that sounds wonderful, right? Surrogacy can be a wonderful, selfless act designed to provide people with a family. But Sparky didn’t want to have just any ole baby.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been growing in love for the gay community, and I knew having a baby with a gay couple would be a way I could make a meaningful difference in their lives.

That’s right, she purposely sought out a gay couple so she could have a “gayby”. She’s also thinking of the future for her own children – “I know that what I’m doing will augment our worldwide network of loving friends — my girls will always be welcomed in Ágúst and Ben’s home when they choose to start travelling independently”. And don’t think she’s doing it as a way to supplement her income, either:

I’m not being paid for the pregnancy in any way, although the fathers did offer. Without any contracts, payments or legalities, this isn’t a surrogacy — it’s a love affair! I’ve enjoyed a romance with a married couple, fallen pregnant to them and will birth their baby in their home. The fathers will pay for the home-birth midwife’s services, and I’m covering all our travel costs and living expenses.

I just…ok, look. I 100% in theory support what she’s doing. But the woman can barely provide for her own kids, so this all feels like some kind of stunt for high fives and attention. What do you hams think? Am I being too cynical here?

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
308

Mommy Blogging

Love Taza’s Candid Family Moments Sure Are Candid

becauseblog

Have you ever wondered how this new wave of pinterest-like mommy bloggers manage to get all those those TOTES PRESH “candid” moments caught on film so perfectly?

Now you know, thanks to an instagram video (has sound, so be sure to mute if you need to) shot by a friend of the Love Taza Family. The video shows what appears to be a typical day at the park for the children of a mommy blogger – going down a slide while their dad holds a huge camera in their faces all the way down, and mom standing to the side with her phone pointed at them, presumably recording the event for her instagram followers.

Just more proof that this “little family blog” is basically a professional stage show starring the kids, and directed by the parents.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
257

Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

BlogHer ’14 Apparently A Huge Womp Womp

Another BlogHer conference has ended, and from behind all the hype and hooplah some very interesting stories emerged. Some highlights:

On to the TL;DR…

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
238

Internets

Vlogger Michelle Phan Sued For Using Music, Claims She Had Permission

oh princess

Michelle Phan, allegedly Asian, is apparently being sued by Ultra Records for using music in her beauty vlogs without permission. Ultra wants Phan to disclose how much money the videos have made, and apparently wants all the profits.

But in a truly classy internet counter-offensive, Phan’s lawyers are telling TMZ she totally had permission to use the songs. Her “legal team” also says Phan will be filing “a lawsuit of her own” which should keep generating publicity for her for at least a year.

In other news, I had no idea this chick was now such a big deal that TMZ is covering her. I guess that Dr. Pepper commercial really shot her to the A List.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
75

Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Would Like A Ride And Also Can You Stop For Burgers

Cecily Kellogg, the J. Wellington Wimpy of the blog conference circuit, apparently managed a plane ticket into SFO for the BlogHer conference in San Jose. Rather than doing some googling (it’s not like she’s a tech writer, folks) or setting aside money for a cab or Uber, she did her usual passy assy facebook hair twirling.

um1

And, as usual, some poor soul stepped up to the enabler plate, telling Cecily “I can come get you if you want”. To which the queen of gratitude replied:

um2

Did she seriously just grift a free ride from SFO to San Jose…and then ask the person to stop by a burger stand on the way? Can she honestly not make it 24 hours in California without shoving some Double Doubles into her swamp mouth?

ermagerd cheeseburgers

And no mention of buying the poor woman dinner or offering to replace her vehicle struts in exchange for her trouble. Behold, internets – this is what a successful, 45 year old blogger’s life looks like! Bumming rides from the airport and begging for fast food. Such aspirational! BlogHer ’14′s open post is going to be a trainwreck, I can already tell.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
359

Internets Mommy Blogging

Ashlee Wells Jackson Supports Mothers If They Do Things Her Way

Ashlee Wells Jackson, has a legal team, has spent the last few weeks screeching about how social media should stop censoring images of mothers. But it seems a new dust up over her “Stop Censoring Motherhood” project has made it clear what she really meant was ‘only I am allowed to censor images of mothers’.

A young woman recently lost her baby at a few days old. In an effort to help herself heal and to show support for the “4th Trimester Bodies” project, she posted the standard black and white picture of a woman in black underwear shot used in the project.

Please go follow and support @the4thtribodies , and share share share.
This post isn’t for me, it’s for all the mothers in the world and the right to honor and appreciate all women’s bodies.

Unfortunately, Ashlee didn’t appreciate the show of support enough to let the image be. She promptly told the young woman to remove the post because it violated her trademarked hashtag and basically telling her if she wanted to participate in the project, she’d need to book a photo shoot through Ashlee.

I greatly appreciate your support and would love to share your story but this image violates my copyright and trademark and is taken VERY seriously. If you’d like to participate in @the4thtribodies PLEASE go to my website and find how to do so properly.

When other mommies and support groups called Ashlee out on this, she began claiming she reached out privately first, and said that instead of removing the photo the woman “sent hundreds of people to attack me”. She then began banning people and deleting comments disagreeing with her actions.

drams

So…which is it? Is this a project to support real images of mothers and eradicate the shame of postpartum bodies? Or is it a trademarked, copyrighted business venture designed to increase Ashlee’s photography clientele and bring her some personal glory?

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
214

Mommy Blogging

Cecily Kellogg Is Taking Her Say Elsewhere

CecilyK, polarizing vortex of fail, has apparently been successfully elbowed out by Babble’s new editorial guidelines.

swampwalrusalert

2 days after announcing that she basically just lost a big chunk of her income, Cecily posted that she would be attending Blogher again, even though she is “not speaking” and  “not sponsored by anyone”, and that because of losing her gig with Babble she’ll be “attending as a hobbyist, not a professional blogger”. Which totally sounds like a necessary expense when you lose a job and are trying to move.

Anyway, I guess this means we will no longer be treated to a Babble filled with wonderful posts telling us to shut up. What a shame. I can’t wait to see what mediocre content farm she makes her way to next.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
105

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Bleubird Will Also SWF Other Bloggers

Miss James of Bleubirdblog, unoriginal, loves to single white female others. Most recently she copied Drew Barrymore’s instagram down to background and pose. Now she’s at it again.

Just two weeks after Taza posted about her son cutting his sister’s hair while unsupervised:

bb1

Miss James pops up with a practically identical post:

bb2

Oh James. This is just getting sad now.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
35

Internets WTF

Forum Hall Of Fame: Beverly And The Haunting Of GOMI Manor

Mondays are usually annoying, so I thought it would be fun to give you something to wtf over. Presenting a thread that refuses to die – Halfway to Fearless.

It all started when some n00b opened a thread about an unknown blog called Halfway to Fearless. It was pretty easy to spot a self-pimp, and the thread would have petered out had the blogger in question not posted a response on her blog basically within hours of the thread appearing. Another n00b showed up out of nowhere claiming the thread was not started by the blogger herself, and then yet another sockpuppet appeared in order to respond to some questions.

Finally the blogger herself came onto the thread, at first claiming none of the accounts were hers until I pointed out the magic of ip addresses. She then moved on to saying oh well, her husband had mentioned creating an account. At this point I began to be bombarded with email demands from Bev that I give her a list of the ips and registration information so she could prove she was not the one creating sockpuppets – demands which came through a variety of proxy servers and various ips. She sent me more messages announcing victory, at which point I began sending her craygrams to the trash because ain’t nobody got time for that.

Suddenly a few on the ball hams noticed a curious thing about Beverly’s blog – her recipe posts and photos were  directly lifted from other blogs. She even went so far as to add her own watermark to the stolen images. Soon after, her social media accounts and blog were suddenly all deleted and we were informed that the reason for this was a tragic car crash that resulted in Beverly’s death.

That’s right, folks – the classic “They’re Dead And I Hope You’re Happy” fake death routine. You’d think that would be the end of it, until her baby daddy’s fiance came in the thread to let us all know that Beverly was in fact still alive, and an ‘anonymous’ fan jumped in to yell at us some more.

So if you have an afternoon to kill you now have a fun bag of board on boards dafuqery to dig through and discuss. Enjoy!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
226

Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Luxury Lifestyle Blogger Charged With Identity Theft, Grand Larceny

Untitled

David Tripp, the effete fraud behind the blog “The General Aesthete“, was arrested for using stolen credit cards to make large purchases of luxury goods at such stores as Jil Sander, Marni, and Marc Jacobs.

Using the name ‘Kelly’ and saying he was a ‘stylist’ for various celebrities, Tripp would select thousands of dollars worth of merchandise and then pay using stolen American Express cards. He was arrested when the general manager of the Marc Jacobs store noticed the name on the credit card was ‘Kelli’, not ‘Kelly’. After googling the cardholder’s name he found a business phone number, and quickly verified that the card was stolen. Tripp was then arrested at the store and later released on bail. His facebook and Instagram appear to be deleted as well.

So I guess now we know how at least one of these luxury lifestyle bloggers made ends meet. If this were normal practice it would certainly answer a lot of questions as to how these seeming nobodies from nowhere manage to blast onto the scene (seriously, this guy was everywhere back in 2012) with blogs full of thousand dollar geodes and 50 pairs of $500 shoes.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
56

Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

Mother(Bleep) Can Totally Force Instagram To Change Their TOS

mamadrama1

By now you’ve probably heard (lol probably not) and become outraged (rofl no you haven’t) over the Instagram Mama Drama – Instagram is now deleting child nudity, and the internet mommy mafia is furious.

The drama began when some “courtneybabyccino” account was suspended and “inappropriate” pics of her toddler removed. Internet mommies rushed to create a hashtag and posted naked child pics of their own in support, which of course caused widespread account suspensions and pic deletions by Instagram. Internet mommies love bandwagons and drama, and almost seemed eager to get their own accounts suspended because hello, attention.

Enter “Amerikaw” who, determined to Make A Thing out of all of this, got her account suspended and promptly stirred up a publicity play by jumping on the “Stop Censoring Motherhood” campaign, claiming Instagram is anti-breastfeeding and anti-mothers. Saying Instagram’s TOS constitute “bullying” she then began a Change.org petition to make Instagram change their TOS. The wahvalanche thundered down the mountain, picking up drama mamas like Ashlee who has now had 8 accounts terminated and created her own Change.org petition and posted announcements that she is getting lawyers involved:

Our legal team has been in contact with FB/IG and we are giving them one more day to respond before we make our media push.

“Amerikaw” and a pal have now founded “Mother(Bleep)“, claiming there has “been a recent trend in censorship and bullying of mothers in social media” and had that Instagram account shut down after a week.

I’m obviously at a loss. I don’t understand what kind of human being it takes to be a part of such an evil conspiracy. These people give me and other moms so much grief for the way we parent our children yet they take time out of their day (away from their own children) to maliciously attack our accounts. Mother(bleep) is something @woolful and I have poured our hearts into over the last week and a half and for you people to come in and try to destroy what we’ve created is sick and twisted on a whole other level. You know damn well this is no longer about “protecting our children from p**ophiles.” This is personal and so disturbing. Imagine what your own mothers would think if they knew what obsessive hobby you had. She would be devastated to know she raised such a pathetic excuse for a human. #bringbackmotherbleep

Now the Mommy Mafia has taken to harassing CEO Kevin on his own account by spewing their vitriol on every single picture in his feed and encouraging each other to go flag pictures until accounts THEY find offensive are removed. Which isn’t hypocritical or anything.

mamadrama2

I can’t wait to see how this whole omg getting legal team involved trainwreck plays out. I’m not a lolyer but I’m pretty sure a private company deciding their terms of use for their free service isn’t some civil rights issue. But good luck with that, Drama Mamas! Maybe you can get a #wefailed hashtag out of it.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
414

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Bleubird Will SWF Celebrities

James McCoy, desperately trying to make MOTHER happen, is apparently moving on from social climbing in Nashville. She’s setting her starhumping sights higher by trying to buddy up to Drew Barrymore via social  media.

In what is clearly a bid for Barrymore’s attention, James and her mothermag cohort Katie donned identical tees and assumed identical poses for instagram while arm waving at Barrymore about “playing twins”.

Image by ill-fitting onesie

Barrymore posted her original instagram a month ago in support of Foster LA. James and Katie made no mention of the original reason behind the shirt, preferring instead to hashtag their posts with “#sillyrabbits” and “#beingsilly” after @ing Barrymore in an apparent effort to get an acknowledgement from the celebrity.

Is this what we’re doing now to get celebrity traction for our blogs? Because it seems not only transparent, but sadsack. Or as one ham put it, “Drew used her fame to promote a good cause. Lames used a good cause to promote her fame.”

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
135

Internets

These New Blogger Confs Will Fill The Void

Blogger conferences may be closing left and right – Camp Mighty and the Healthy Living Summit were both cancelled, and BlissDom is no more – but a few intrepid bloggers are still trying to make them happen. The Feminist Breeder has announced her “First Ever Feminist Breeder Retreat”, and some random blogger is trying to get her own conference, “LadyBlogger 2015″ off the ground.

The Feminist Breeder doesn’t really detail what her “retreat” is about, but claims “interests [sic] is high” and urges you to put down your $30 deposit now before registration opens because “slots are going fast”. The ticket options range from $269 to $699 and vaguely promise a “Diverse Panel of Feminist Speakers”, “Nature Hikes”, and an “Open Bar Dance Party”.

The “LadyBlogger” conference is planning typical blog conference tripe like “Blogging Tips and Tricks” and “Monetizing Your Blog”, as well as “networking”. You can sign up now for some $99 early bird special, but apparently the price is going up in January 2015.

Can someone please explain to me why these need to happen? Where is the market for these conferences anymore? At this point they seem to be put on more for the ego of those throwing them than to fill any specific void in the blogging industry. Most bloggers these days are heading to Alt and SXSW for their “networking”.  What is the point in adding more noise to the blogger conf circuit?

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)
70