Monthly Archives: August 2014

Lifestyle Blogging

Mighty Girl Finds Mighty Man

Maggie Mason, still around, has apparently been using her Camp Mighty-less summer wisely. It seems she went on a nice vacation and upon her return, felt it was finally time to break some news to the internets.

We’re just back from a family road trip. I say family, because a few months back Brad and I got engaged.

That’s pretty much it. She also said she and her son “like this guy” and posted it under her “mighty life list” whatever that is. I mean, at least she didn’t give us a 30 scroll snore fest with every detail of the proposal, but if you’re going to share the news at least give us more than one sentence. Oh well. So I guess…congrats?

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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Is Now An Accountability Coach

Cecily Kellogg, doesn’t even need that Babble money, is adding a new “um…sure” listing to her resume – “accountability coach”.

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For just $14.99 a week you can hire the stunningly successful at everything Ms. Kellogg to keep you accountable and teach you how to be productive.

This is so ludicrous the only thing I can even say about it is an eyeroll.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Cary Randolph Can Be A Founder

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Cary Randolph, classy Superstorm Sandy survivor, is now taking on her seventh or eighth persona in the last five years – she’s now a founder. It seems everyone’s favorite former fashion week reporter turned Brooklyn skate rat turned marathon runner turned Newport WASP turned Hamptons party girl turned New York socialite/Ralph Lauren editor has bought a domain for – excuse me, founded – something called “Track & Feel”.

The twitter bio for the newly founded website thing urges you to “sweat often & elegantly”, and its stream seems to be nothing but mentions of sports equipment, workout clothes, and informing the world they are doing yoga and running marathons. The website itself appears as if it’s attempting to be some knock off Into The Gloss lifestyle blog thing, but for exercise.

I don’t understand how people can call themselves a “founder” when all they’ve done is set up a tumblr and some social media accounts. Everyone is now a “founder” the same way everyone was an “editor” 5 years ago. You don’t have to actually accomplish anything; just buy a domain, slap a title on yourself, and boom, you’re important. I’m at the point where if I meet someone who says they are a “founder” or “editor” I just mentally roll my eyes and think “sure you are, sweetie, what’s your blogspot address?”

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Internets Vlogging

Anna’s Vine Is Something You Might Enjoy

goodparenting

With tips on talking to your kids about drugs and proper discipline techniques – even some helpful dating advice -  there’s a whole lot of WTF to enjoy on the Vine of “a literal potato”. Go get yourself some Franzia and be prepared to say “lol wut” a lot.

And if you have any WTF Vines to share be sure to do so in the comments. I’m sure everyone would appreciate another time suck.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Sparkling Adventures Sets Off To Deliver Her Gayby

how not to sit on a plane

Sparkling Adventures, “nomadic mama”, has set off on her “big trip to the other side of the globe” where she is supposed to birth and hand off her “gayby”.

She and her children have emptied out their house bus and tossed everything not essential for a winter trip to Iceland.

When thinking about our trip to Europe, it’s hard to predict everything that we’ll need for life, learning and adventures…Essential items for the girls include their sleeping blankets, one favourite toy, swimming things, a few drawing/writing/reading materials and their kipis.

Saying her children are able to “sleep anywhere”, Sparkles anticipates “an excellent adventure overseas with very few emotional challenges”. Because giving up the baby you just gave birth to is neither emotional nor a challenge.

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Lifestyle Blogging

“Mormon In Manhattan” Rebrands, Internet Continues Not To Care

Natalie Hill, the “Broadway star” behind the yawn farm Mormon In Manhattan, is no longer in Manhattan. She has moved to Utah – though like Jessica Quirk all those years ago, she is claiming she will keep a pied-à-terre in NYC – and in a few weeks she will be marrying that guy she met 6 months ago.

Yes kids, after 10 years of husband hunting ole Natalie has finally bagged herself a man. She has spent the last few months bragging about moving to some swanky part of Salt Lake City and having multiple engagement and bridal showers and filling up her registry.

Of course nothing is real until a blogger makes their new life official on the internet with a rebrand.

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Mormon in Manhattan is becoming “Natalie Now“. Sure to be as fascinating as every other Mormon housewife blog, it is currently under “Rennovation”. So save the day, folks!

What’s that? You don’t care? Hey, slow news day, sorry.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Mommy Wants Vodka Back In Court And Nothing Really Happened

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Aunt Becky, was going to try and do some kind of play on “Aunt Trainwrecky” here but can’t seem to make it work, was back in court today to deal with the charges claiming she filed false reports. After being charged with two felony counts, she continued to claim she was in physical danger as her fans poured money into a “protection fund”.

But it seems all that happened at court today was a “Pretrial Diversion Application“, with a new date set for October 15th.

In the majority of cases, offenders are diverted at the pre-charge stage. Participants who successfully complete the program will not be charged or, if charged, will have the charges against them dismissed; unsuccessful participants are returned for prosecution.

So basically it sounds like nothing is going to come of this. Womp.

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Mommy Blogging

That Wife Does Work At Home Parenting Correctly

Jenna, “solo parent working mom entrepreneur”, has posted a delightful story about her baby daughter.

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It seems little Princess got into some hair wax and had covered herself and her stuffed lion in the stuff. Rather than plop her into her weekly bath, she took the wax covered child into the backyard for a full on photo shoot. She then good- naturedly made a joke about it being time to baby proof her house. This would have gotten a knowing laugh from most mothers if not for the fact that this exact scenario has already been documented by Jenna over a month ago, so it’s not as if she didn’t already know she needed to hide the hair product.

jennawax2Thankfully T2 is now going back to daycare and Jenna has found even more ways to outsource her life so she can “work” on all her “work” and “businesses”.

One of the ways I’m managing all of this is by outsourcing. I hired my first virtual assistant via odesk.com to work on basic tasks so I have more time for coordinating with advertisers and generating content. I finally have a dependable editor putting together Pinterest Fail posts for me…After several months of trying to squeeze everything in during nap time I found AM daycare for T2 that will allow me to consistently log about 25 hours of work per week.

Saying she hopes this new daycare will “allow me to relax in the evenings”, she goes on to yet again justify all this outsourcing by saying:

I’ve heard lots of successful bloggers talk about how they put in a good 1-3 years of losing sleep to build up their brand, but I don’t think I’m interested in living that way.

With her “never-ending” to-do list Jenna thinks “the key to success here is going to be laying outfits out the night before and eating breakfast in the car”, meaning, I assume, that the children will now be eating all family meals in car seats since she already told the world they also eat their dinner in the car on the way home from daycare.

Oh the crazy life of a #WAHM! I do hope offloading even more of her responsibilities helps her get it all done!

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Women Against Feminism Are Against Feminist Women Who Are Feminist

Somewhat old news, but in case you haven’t seen it yet there is a wonderfully uplifting tumblr called “Women Against Feminism“. It’s full of empowering anti-feminist sentiments such as “I don’t need feminism…because it causes misandry” and “I need feminism because I’m a lesbian so men disgust me”. And the ever supportive signs proclaiming feminism the exclusive domain of dumb wh*res.

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It’s mostly a bunch of the same party lines you’ll hear on any MRA website, just pushed by vaginal citizens instead of angry dudes with nice guy syndrome roid rage. Enjoy!

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Internets WTF

Mandy Will Ban You All During A Tantrum

Mandy, attended Northwestern, recently wrote a rambling blather of a post about waking up her old writing teacher in the middle of the night. You see, James Foley attended Northwestern. Mandy also attended Northwestern, where she took writing classes from a professor at Northwestern.

Northwestern.

Anyway, the post is basically Mandy trying in some ham fisted way to make the murder of a journalist in Iraq all about Mandy, and that it hit her harder than anyone else…because James Foley attended Northwestern, and so did Mandy, and Mandy is also a “journalist”. Or something. If you’re confused, don’t worry – so was pretty much anyone else who read her post. When people started commenting with critical feedback, Mandy did what any professional journalist would do – went on a buhlete spree.

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Over 100 comments were removed, and when commenters complained, Mandy used her Northwestern journalistic training to solve that problem as well.

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After commenters began emailing xoJane staff asking WTF was going on, Mandy apparently had a change of heart. Deleted comments are reappearing, and Mandy says it all happened because she had a bad day.

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Such journalist! So in the same peer group as James Foley. She then went on to claim all accounts have been unbanned, though many users are disputing this.

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Keiko Lynn’s Sponsors Really Getting Their Money’s Worth

Keiko Lynn, the neutron star of tweesmug, and her “fellow” Bobby got new ink recently, revealed on their instagrams.

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Awww how totes presh. And perfectly timed, too – the glasses they have now permanently branded on their bodies are part of longtime sponsor Bonlook’s Keiko collection.

I’ve been waiting to share this news for what seems like forever: I designed a pair of cat-eye glasses for Bonlook…I designed a retro cat-eye with subtle embellishments and more modern proportions – they’re a little on the larger size, without being overwhelming.

So…I mean, I guess you could spin it as Keiko being really proud of her “design” launching, but essentially she and her “bespoke” bartender dude are now walking billboards for Bonlook. But hey, at least they didn’t get inspirational pillow tats, right?

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Internets

“Handbasket” Thinks Churches Should Stop Worrying About Sex Offenders

Mrs. Handbasket, pro-sex offender, is at it again. This time Handy’s telling churches “how a congregation should respond to sex offenders among them”. Blasting the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America for publishing a legal guide for dealing with sex offenders in their congregations, Handbasket begins at the point that is always central to their mind – p**ophiles.

Let’s begin with the casual use of that frightful word, p**ophiles. Most sex offenders are not p**ophiles, not even those who offend against children. Most p**ophiles are not sex offenders. p**ophile is a word meant to frighten you.

Handbasket claims the “recidivism rate of sex offenders is extremely low” and balks at the suggestion that sex offenders not be allowed to use church restroom facilities alone. After trying to refute the idea that these rules are in place to assure congregants of “the role of the church as “sanctuary,”", Handy then goes on to complain that those convicted of non-sexual crimes have no such restrictions and how is that fair, people?

Since Handbasket has already claimed child pornography isn’t rape we probably shouldn’t be surprised by anything they say anymore.

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Mommy Blogging

Lizzie’s 7 Year Old Can Babysit Himself

Lizzie Heiselt, not a helicopter mom, has bravely taken to the internets to proclaim her son’s ability to stay home without supervision.

In fact, he’s been asking me if I can let him stay by himself while I do little things around the neighborhood (laundry pick-up, library book return) for over a year now and I’ve been hard-pressed to find a reason why he can’t.

Saying she had been “worried the neighbors might think I was being neglectful and I’d get an unexpected visit from CPS”, her first step was to check the laws of the state to make sure it was legal to leave her 7 year old home alone. Satisfied she “would be able to say…to any nosy neighbors” she was not breaking the law, she decided to test the limits of her son’s ability to take care of himself.

After letting him go downstairs and get the mail, she then chose to try letting him also mind her 2 year old daughter – alone.

I decided to see how my son would do supervising his almost-2-year-old-sister for three minutes in our apartment while I took my 4-year-old down the stairs and back up…when we emerged from the stairwell a couple of minutes later, our apartment door was opened and my daughter was standing by the elevators, waiting, I assumed, for me. My son hadn’t noticed that she had opened the door or that she was not in the apartment.

Lizzie goes on to explain that she knew he was probably too young to care for a toddler on his own, but that it was “eye-opening to see what could happen even in the space of a few minutes”. Still, she declares the idea a success, saying her son can “handle himself at home alone for short periods of time” and run errands inside their apartment building alone.

I’m not into the whole helicopter parenting thing either, but I’m not sure letting a 7 year old run around alone in a New York apartment building is a great idea. Not to be all doomsday about it, but this sounds like a Law & Order episode waiting to happen.

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