Monthly Archives: October 2014

Mommy Blogging

Baby Sideburns Can Film Herself Driving

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Karen Alpert, known as “Baby Sideburns” in the mommy blogging circle jerk, has joined the club of idiot bloggers who film themselves while driving. To the tune of “Shake It Off” Karen screeches made up lyrics expressing her joy at being in the car alone.

Even setting aside how tired I am of that idiotic song, this video is really ridiculous. When are bloggers going to stop filming themselves while they drive? This isn’t cute, people. Fatal accidents have occurred because of this need for selfies and videos while operating a vehicle, and bloggers are promoting this behavior as totally fine and like-worthy. Knock it off already!

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Mommy Blogging

Kayla Prepares For Baby Number Three

In case you’ve been wondering what Kayla and Checkers, formerly homeless by choice, have been up to, Facebook has provided an update.

Hi everyone! I am having a dilemma finding a midwife or OBGYN that will allow me to do a VBA2C in my area…I really would just like to find someone who will support me and at least give me a chance for a trial of labor.

Yes, it seems Kayla is pregnant again. Though her tumblr appears to have been abandoned her Facebook shows a family that seems well fed and clean, so good for them.

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Mommy Blogging

Serge Bielanko Files For Divorce

Monica Bielanko, the Girl Who Overshares, and her husband of ten years are divorcing.

He filed sometime last week, abruptly whipping the white papers from the bowels of his Honda and proffering them for me to sign, had a pen at the ready and everything, like some slick music exec trying to get the next big thing to sign on the dotted line.

The couple separated 7 months ago and have since been basically bragging about how they are doing marital breakups correctly. Now Monica seems to be singing a different tune, claiming the past few months have been filled with self-medication.

Whatever gets me through, man. Whatever gets me through. Balling up emotions, deafening music and beer. Lots of beer.

Saying she’s “probably due for some sort of awesome public meltdown”, Monica concluded her post with a sad  realization that probably resonates with many divorcing couples – “We are becoming strangers.”

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Fashion Blogging

Effortless Anthropologie Wants RewardStyle To Fix This

Roxy Turtle, runs an Anthro fansite, seems to be having an issue with RewardStyle. Apparently she’s been having having tracking issues with her affiliate links – and she claims that while RewardStyle was initially helpful they have not only closed her complaint, they became intimidating when she responded she would not let this drop.

Unfortunately, the relationship with RewardStyle seems to be taking a nosedive…I’ve been getting emails from a RewardStyle Vice President that feel threatening. Retaliatory.

Saying “all I want is to understand what happened and get a promise that it won’t happen again”, Roxy went into Mistreated Little Person Versus The Big Bad Corporation mode.

I feel scared and unsure what to do…They have the team and resources at their disposal. They are a huge company and they seem to be putting their efforts into threatening me. I just don’t get it…I have been crying for most of the afternoon…I’m one tiny person and RewardStyle a huge company. It feels so scary to me that they might come after me, retaliate. I feel scared.

She goes on to say she feels RStyle is gearing up to drop her because she “asked too many questions”, but that isn’t what she wants at all. After going on and on about how scared and upset she is, and how she feels ‘threatened’ by RStyle, Roxy says she still wants to work with the company.

Ideally, at this point what I want is what I mentioned above: an in-depth explanation of what happened, an agreement on how to prevent this in the future, and a promise that the relationship will go back to normal with no retaliation.

I really don’t get all the blogger kowtowing to RewardStyle. Are they just the only affiliate company out there or something? I just don’t understand why Roxy would want to continue working with a company that treats her in the manner she’s claiming. Surely RStyle isn’t the only name in the game. Get out and find another affiliate company!

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Internets WTF

Ashley Does Not Appreciate Your Crush

Ashley, forever, is finally speaking out against all the evil women out there who don’t see the big red “Property Of” stamp on her husband’s face, and dare to have a crush on him.

A female friend had e-mailed him saying that a friend of hers had a crush on him…it was just a harmless message, right? No.  It’s not harmless…That treacherous Jezebel!  I have a problem with it.  I have a serious problem with it.

Ashley then provides a list of reasons why your crush on her husband is terrible and awful and you’re a bad person who should feel bad. The list includes things like “you’re trying to lead my husband’s soul astray”, and it’s “disrespectful”. She says her husband is “strong in his faith, and never considered adultery, but I resent her trying to place temptation in his path”, as if it’s up to the women of the world to keep him free from “temptation”.

She goes on to berate you shameless hussies, asking “Were you thinking he would keep it from me, that you would have a secret friendship, that you would somehow be closer or more important to my husband than I am?”

Do I have a problem with you and your crush?  Yes.  Yes, I absolutely do.  Does it matter now if your feelings change?  If you move on to someone else?  If you say you’re no longer interested?  No.  No, it doesn’t.  Why not?  It’s simply because your morals have already been shown to be questionable and because you cannot be trusted.  Of course I trust my husband but trusting my husband does not mean that you are suddenly deserving of trust or friendship.

She concludes by claiming “forgiveness has been granted” to the “Jezebel” in question, which makes one wonder about the point of the post in the first place.

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Internets WTF

Instagram Still Being Used To Showcase Stupidity

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Looks like Jon is having a fun Sunday, if not a very smart one. Not sure documenting yourself driving around with open booze is the best way to celebrate a wedding, but hey, you do you.

Maybe Cecily can jump in and high five them for sticking it to the DUI checkpoint man.

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean Knows How To Do Minimalism

Natalie Holbrook, she’s from Brooklyn, has been trying to make a minimalist ‘capsule’ wardrobe thing happen. She apparently thinks a pared down wardrobe collection will…honestly I’m not sure why she’s doing it, other than maybe an excuse to shove some rstyle links up our noses.

But don’t you dare think for one second that it should be easy for a stay at home wife married to a six figure salary of a man to figure out which items should be included in her amazing minimalist hanging-on-display collection.

My problem isn’t in simplifying a look, it’s in simplifying my options. I like this red plaid shirt, but I also like this red plaid shirt! And which one will I want to wear the most? And what would that preference that even say about a person?

Her final list of choices adds up to almost $5,000 and includes a $175 striped tee and a $250 red plaid shirt, which should pair nicely with the free extra pair of boots she received the other day. Because heaven knows you need at least 10 pairs of black boots.

Don’t even get me started on the boots. I love these black boots, but I also love these black boots, and I don’t need both but they’re just sooo different though!

Bored rich white ladies – they’re just like us!

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Lifestyle Blogging

Bleubird Will Just SWF Everyone

Bleubird, instagram copycat extraordinaire, is still copycatting on instagram.

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It looks like after single white female-ing Drew Barrymore and Taza, James has moved on to Denise. Creeper alert! Why can’t she come up with her own instagram ideas already?

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Mommy Blogging

Feminst Breeder Wants To Know How You Found Her Address

The Feminist Breeder, strong black woman, let her son run off during a tantrum.

Jules got mad because Jolene drank his juice so he ran away. Like for real, ran away. The cops came to our door because someone found him a mile away at the AutoZone. We thought he had just gone to our neighbor’s house.

She was apparently unaware of her son’s whereabouts until the police showed up at her door. Saying “I mean, he’s 6. It’s not like my 3 yr old wandered off”, she explained it wasn’t her son’s disappearance that upset her; she was more concerned with how the police figured out how to contact her.

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She went on to say “Apparently the police basically only needed my son’s first name to find out my cell phone number and our address. That’s probably scarier than anything else that happened today.”

Maybe it’s just me, but if my child had run off to a store and had to be returned by the police, the last thing on my mind would be “omg how did you find my address!!11″ I’d probably just be glad nothing bad happened, not going on about how insecure I feel about my personal information.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Ramshackle Glam Will Move To California

Jordan Reid, ice cream outfit stylist, has announced she and her Glamily will be moving out to the land of Ebay.

We’re moving to California, to San Francisco’s South Bay. For good, this time.

When Kendrick’s internship ended, his company made him a post-graduation job offer, and last week he accepted. And so next spring he will graduate, and we will pack up everything we own, and then we will pile our dogs and our kids into a rented RV…And when the drive comes to an end, we’ll pull into the driveway of some as-yet-unknown house or apartment, and we’ll start a whole new life in a whole new place.

Though they recently purchased a home in Westchester County – a move rumored to have been based on Jordan’s hopes of an HGTV style renovation/makeover show – she says the decision to move was obvious because the 8 weeks they spent in California this summer were “like magic, like we were living in a bubble of joy and adventure”.

She and Kenny then apparently got tattoos to celebrate the decision, I assume because tats are currently trending in NYC.

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DIY Blogging

Young House Love Sort Of Closing The Blog For A While

After returning from their month long break, Young House Love has announced they will be moving on from the blog.

[W]e’re immensely thankful not only for your support and kind comments, but also for helping put words to some of the things that we had been feeling for some time. And while the last month hasn’t been enough time to fill in all of the blanks about our future (heck, when are life’s blanks ever clearly filled in?) it has made one thing pretty obvious to us: after seven awesome years of sharing our home and our life, it’s time for our next adventure.

They left the window open to return to YHL (so start begging really hard, fangirls!) by saying they “won’t go as far as to declare this the end of Young House Love or our blogging days”, and hinting they may come back when the kids are in school.

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Fashion Blogging

Already Pretty Says You Can Fix Your Problems With Clothes

Sally McGraw, Minnesota’s resident ‘style expert’, is trying yet again to tie the state of your life and emotional well-being to your clothing choices. Asking if we’ve noticed “most people are unhappy” Sally then launches into a TL;DR, the crux of which seems to be that real life change is hard – so you should just try a new outfit instead!

If you’re feeling constantly restless, dissatisfied, and envious of others, change your look. Changes to career, relationships, geography, and finance may have huge, terrifying repercussions, mainly because those changes involve other people. But changing your look is singular, self-contained, all about you.

Let me save you about 20 eyerolls: Sally’s advice is basically the wardrobe equivalent of your mom telling you to put some lipstick on when you call to tell her you’re depressed and might want to switch meds. In other words, she’s telling you to waste your time primping instead of actually fixing your life.

I’m sorry, but no. Unless you are Jennifer Lopez starring in “Maid in Manhattan” a simple outfit change is not going to drastically change your life. I know she’s a style ‘expert’ and thinks everything in life can be solved by clothes, but come on already.

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Internets

“Marlboro Woman” Goes Member Paywall Only

The Marlboro Woman, the snark and recap site focused on The Pioneer Woman, is no longer a public space. Visitors were shocked the past week to find themselves unable to view posts – instead receiving a message that they would now be required to cough up $20 bucks a year if they want to view the content.

After October 1, 2014, this content is restricted to subscribed members. A 6-month subscription requires a non-refundable $10 donation. FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS: (1) register as a new user; (2) click the donate button, pay $10 and list the email you used for registration; (3)after payment is received, activation will occur within 48 hours. If you have already donated in the last six months, please email us at: admin@themarlborowoman.com and furnish your name, email address, and the date of your donation.

It will be interesting to see if they do as well as The Feminist Breeder – Gina made her site pay-to-play early last year and claims it has been a roaring success.

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