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Monthly Archives: July 2015
Well it’s finally Friday and I don’t know about you but it’s been a long, sweat and work filled week over here at Casa Fiestabritches. I actually planned on doing a different book this week; but to be honest, by the time I got home at noon I was just over all the braining I did the past 5 days. I mean my attention span is at nothing right now, hams. So I decided to do a lightweight old classic instead. So get out your eyeliner and coochie cutter denim shorts, because it’s time to read ‘Ramshackle Glam – The New Mom’s Haphazard Guide To (Almost) Having It All’ by Jordan Reid.
I felt my skin warming and the waves spraying and the wind kissing in a way I had never felt before, and it wasn’t long before I turned my back up to the sun so I could bury my face in my towel and cry…And then my new nudist friend Robert (who is somewhere around sixty years old and has an incredible ability to have a twenty minute conversation with a naked woman and not let his eyes wander once) photographed me using my iPhone…
Jenna ended her weekend of nudity by slamming drinks and writing code.
Hello again, pork people! It’s time for Friday Book Club, and have I got a snoozer for you. This week we are going to learn how to be photographers! Or at least the kind of photographer A Beautiful Mess thinks we should be. Get out your VSCO Cam and prepare to be amazed at the incredible knowledge contained within ‘A Beautiful Mess: Photo Idea Book’.
Love Taza, mama to littles, just loves doing everything as a family. This week the Love Taza show went out for a bike ride, as a family.
The ride included strapping their 7 month old into a bike seat and slapping on a helmet that is clearly the correct size in order to wheel around an island metropolis with some of the most insane traffic in North America.
But apparently Taza isn’t familiar with the bicycle laws in this little city of hers. The New York State Department of Transportation says:
Children under 1 are prohibited from being transported on a bicycle (Sec. 1238(1)(2)).
Of course silly things like laws can’t be acknowledged when there’s content to generate. When a few fangirls asked wtf she was thinking, Taza claimed (in a now apparently deleted comment) that her son’s pediatrician said it was totally okay. She then waved away further criticism on the matter by providing a disclaimer on her post.
…i know the age varies a lot online about when little ones can or should begin to bike with you, so it’s always just best to consult with your pediatricians as they know your child best and if he or she is strong enough, able enough to ride along with you. i’m not an expert on anything around this topic…
I know mommies are exempt from any judging ever but…don’t you think a mom who loves being a mom to her littles in this little city of theirs would know and follow the laws about this sort of thing? And obviously bloggers are special snowflakes and above the rules that apply to those of us who must drudge through this mortal coil without internet headpats; but at some point – maybe when you’re pushing 30 and are a mother of 3 – it stops being cute to giggle and do a kewpie doll pose and do some “golly garsh I just didn’t know! just sharing my life! here’s an affiliate link to our clothes!”
Seriously, I’d like to know when “his pediatrician says it’s ok” started superseding state traffic laws. Maybe I should become a popular lifestyle blogger! Then the next time I don’t feel like curbing my dog I can just smile and say his vet says it’s ok to let him crap on your foot.
Not only is she “1/16 Jewish”, but she claimed her great-grandfather was “murdered for trying to save the Torah”. This is after she claimed during a 2008 during a trip to Auschwitz:
My mother’s side of the family has Jewish ancestors, and it is quite possible that many of them died in places like Auschwitz….We saw the names of people displayed on the wall who could possibly be related to us, and I got really excited about the opportunity to do some genealogy in Poland someday!
Since she was on the trip with her mother you’d think her mother would have told her, as they stood at the gate, all about this supposed great-grandfather. But whatever. Apparently “part Jewish” is the new “part Cherokee” because it seems like bloggers keep coming out to appropriate and/or align themselves with Jewish heritage.
The crux of the charges seems to be that her stepmother noticed “suspicious activity” on her credit report and “suspected” “Shoe Queen” Egreis was responsible. The stepmother filed two reports with the police about her suspicions. The stepmother alleges that at this point, Eggy called her stepmother and said her father had sent her a sex tape of himself and the stepmother, and if the stepmother didn’t drop all the charges, Eggy would release the tape on the internet.
She also apparently made other statements on instagram claiming this was “nothing but retaliation” for her father filing for divorce from her stepmother.
PCOS and TTC online community members were apparently hit hard this week when one of their own, known as “kirbywillow”, became ill, requiring lung surgery and then lapsing into a coma. Her ‘warrior sisters’ stepped up, starting hashtag after hashtag urging each other to pray for Kirby. Reports came that Kirby was battling ‘broken heart syndrome‘ which is supposed to be a real thing. She apparently came out of her coma briefly. But alas news came Monday that Kirby had died.
Unfortunately for Kirby her IRL friends evidently didn’t get the ‘I’m Dead On The Internet’ memo and began responding to inquiries of where to send flowers and baked goods with a weird bit of news.
That’s right – “kirbywillow” allegedly just “needed to get off social media”. Rather than saying “hey guys I need a break” and locking things up for a while, she created an elaborate tale of sudden failing health – and then she Ghost Bev’d.
People are now venting their anger in piles of instagram posts that “kirby” will presumably never see and probably doesn’t give a crap about, what with being internet dead and all. I just don’t see how this self created fan fiction spinning and instagram updating was easier than saying ‘hey dawgs, adios for a while, the kirbmeister needs a break’ and locking things down for a month. But I guess that doesn’t get you much attention, does it?
…the Holbrooks are moving. Real fast like. Because that is my Brandon’s way. Advance notice is not something redheads seem to excel at much.
She now says she’s known for like ever but didn’t say anything so her husband could, I guess, quit his job on his own timeline.
Brandon’s had this offer in his back pocket for just over two months. As in, who knew I could keep a secret this long?!
Their apartment was put back on the market a week ago so I guess the big move is happening before August. But who cares about any of this??!! I want to see which fangirl moves into her omgloft and starts squeeing all over instagram about it, and what persona HNJ settles on once she’s out west. Maybe she’ll swap Anne Shirley for Caddie Woodlawn? Maybe she’ll go Katie Granju chicken farmer? What is she going to do with all those stress inducing rugs?
Am I really the only person who thinks this is the only interesting thing she has done in forever? It should at least be as fun to watch as Jordan Reid’s big move and new persona.
Claire and Laura, apparently twins who blog about travel, have put up a post explaining their aspiration filled travelgram is a reality that “doesn’t exist”. Saying “it’s time to set the record straight…and suggest that in reality, Instagram means living a lie”, the twins listed all the reasons you need to stop assuming they are wealthy globetrotters just because that’s what they suggest on their social media.
Saying their lives have been “pretty messy this year and it’s been far from a series of glamorous holidays and care-free travels”, they nevertheless continued posting breathtaking travel photos because obviously real life can’t be allowed to “get in the way of that ‘i’m so carefree and happy’ attitude that dominates Instagram.”
And though their blog and gram portray a fabulous life full of expensive looking, glamour soaked travel, the twins assure us they “work full-time and juggle mortgages with fairly concerning shopping addictions” and promise their lives are “far from glamorous, wealthy or perfect”.
Moral of this post? Remember, when you see that photo of a beautiful beach, we’re probably loading it up as we clean the toilet or are lying in bed trying to wake up. Reality bites.
So basically they are no better than Zilla? I guess I’m just super confused as to the point of this post. I mean…thanks for the honesty, but if bloggers want to portray an expensive looking fabulous lifestyle on the intarwebs it seems a bit disingenuous to get all defensive when people come to the conclusion that they are, indeed, living an expensive and fabulous lifestyle. If you don’t want strangers to assume your curated life is your real life then maybe don’t show strangers only a curated life?
Hey Natalie Jean, has a loft in Brooklyn, is apparently leaving Brooklyn.
The Holbrooks are moving back to Moscow, Idaho.
BECAUSE THAT IS JUST HOW THE UNIVERSE LIKES TO PLAY ME
In a totally believable statement she claims she is “giddy with excitement” right after opining that “Brooklyn I am not done with you!…Tub? Are you going to sit there and let this happen?” Natalie goes on to say she is “soooo getting chickens this time” and “a goat!!!!!!!”
Since about 95% of her online persona/identity is wrapped up in her omgbrooklynloft and being a Brooklyn hipster creative I look forward to seeing what persona she takes on after her move.
ShopStyle recently announced a “Snap Hub” in an attempt to help bloggers monetize their Snapchat posts, and suddenly everyone is joining the social media platform because money. Some, like Love Taza, don’t seem 100% into it yet; Naomi announced her account by saying she is “trying [it] out for a little while although I’m still not totally sold on it all”. But fashion bloggers are already starting to sign up and shove snapstyle affiliate linking onto their followers, directing them to the ShopStyle hubs to “shop my look”.
There is no word on whether RewardStyle – the affiliate link behemoth that helped turn instagram into a liketoknowit link graveyard – is working on a similar program. Maybe now that Periscope is picking up speed RS may skip Snapchat altogether and go for monetization of live streaming video. Because everyone knows every social media platform ever anywhere must be monetized, and it’s all about who provides that capability first.
Happy Friday, ham nuggets! It’s time yet again for Book Club. This week I’m slogging through ‘Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin…Every Inch Of It’ by Brittany Gibbons. The text may be NSFW in places because she obviously likes to push home the fact that she loves sex and has sex and does the sex, so consider yourself warned. Now get those cringe muscles ready and let’s get DTF.
The Cupcakes and Cashmere Nordstrom line has been available for a few days now. The collection is about as much of a yawn farm as one would expect considering the most vanilla blogger on earth created it.
It’s mostly striped cotton, shapeless dresses, leather shorts, jumpsuits, and various items made out of a floral fabric that appears to be the skin of a sofa belonging to my Aunt Helen in Boca Raton. Pretty basic crap that is sold at every Target ever since 2001.
Yet this snore inducing collection is enraging people because it only goes up to a size 10/12. Fans took her out on various facebook posts and even in her blog comments for only providing limited sizes of 0-12. You’d think people would be more annoyed that she’s selling them a striped shirt for 80 bucks when you can get pretty much the same thing at Old Navy for 8 dollars, but, priorities vary for each of us.
Anyway, I guess if you’re a skinny person with a lot of disposable money for jersey shirt dresses have fun buying out her collection!