Monthly Archives: October 2015

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

XOJane Moves To Time Inc. And The Staff Cuts Begin

Almost a year after SAY Media decided to dump XOJane, The Pratt Pack finally found a new money spout.  The footer now says “XOJANE is part of the Time Inc. Style Network”…and what was the first order of business for the new owners?

208xlqa

Yep, staff cleanouts. Seems Emily McCombs, best editor ever, is the first one out the door. In a facebook post she says she was left “hanging for several days” while she worked for free on “good faith”, but Time HR finally called and said there was no position for her at their company.

I asked who was going to run the site and they seemed confused, responding “…Why, because that’s what you do?” They said they have people internally who can handle the various aspects of my job.

Ouch, apply cold water to affected area. Meanwhile the new kid not only kept her job but got the desk right next to Jane herself. I’m sure they’re all super feminist and “above it” but now that XOBFFHEARTEYES has gone corporate I do hope the details about that work environment start spilling out on social media soon. Those stories would certainly be more interesting than anything on XOJane the past year.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

33

Internets Vlogging

Vloggers Want You To #SAYNOTOYOUTUBERED

YouTube Red starts rolling out today for U.S. residents, and since the announcement a week ago vloggers have been flipping out. In case you aren’t aware of what YouTube Red will entail, here’s a summary.

YouTube Red lets you enjoy videos across all of YouTube without ads, while also letting you save videos to watch offline on your phone or tablet and play videos in the background, all for $9.99 a month.

The main issue for content creators seems to be that if they don’t agree to YouTube’s new terms they might have their videos “hidden from public view on both the ad-supported and ad-free tiers”.

Vloggers have started a hashtag, #SAYNOTOYOUTUBERED to voice their displeasure.

yt1 yt2 yt3

Some vloggers have “partnered” with YouTube and will be available through the subscription model only, so if your favorite vlogger has partnered up to be a “Creator” you’ll have to shell out the ten bucks a month to see their videos. However, YouTube says users will “still be able to enjoy YouTube”, but claims “with YouTube Red, you’ll be able to support the people who make your favorite videos while watching what you want, when you want, on any device you want, uninterrupted.”

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

99

Mommy Blogging Vlogging

Sam And Nia Repeat Announcement Gag

Today in “well it worked the first time” news, Sam and Nia apparently found a way to make everyone forget that whole Ashley Madison mess.

andagain

That’s right, they’re pregnant. Again. And they decided to “surprise” their moms with the announcement by placing a literal bun in a literal oven and then forcing them to guess what it meant. The best part of the video is mom’s face when she figures out what they’re trying to tell her.

lololmom

She finally finds her words and with a continued expression of fear and surprise, manages to stammer “Another bun…gee whiz”. The other mom seemed equally thrilled.

momtoo

She made this face for a few seconds, then began to rub the back of her neck before sighing “Oh…oh she’s pregnant” and giving poor Nia a half-hearted hug. She evidently then remembered the camera and began performing the hand on heart, cheeks wet with tears “so so happy” routine expected of hard core Christians whenever fertilization is announced.

Anyway, she’s pregnant, so let’s all forget about that little cheating attempt and focus on how excited they are to try and go viral again.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(2)

227

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Jordan Reid Would Like To Sell You Feminism

feminist

click to enlarge

Jordan Reid, entrepreneuristy lady, has a fabulous product in her new store that will lift women up. It is a sweatshirt that allows you to proclaim you are kind of feminist, but not the scary kind.

Because even though you’re a Feminist, you don’t want to “offend” anybody or seem too “aggressive.” By turning the word “feminist” into an adjective, we’re softening its harsh connotations that you “hate men” and “are a lesbian.” We believe you should be able to express yourself mostly, but retain the ability to apologize a lot in the boardroom, if you ever get hired, you hussy.

The omg-I’m-not-a-lesbian sweatshirt features “hand cut felt letters, sewn over the chest area to increase modesty and propriety (lady in the streets, freak in the sheets, etc.)” so it is both empowering and handmadeish. Countdown to Hillary Clinton sporting this girl power (but not too much girl power because you don’t want to be offensive) top at her victory party in 2016.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

136

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Will Save Peru

Taza, of the Love Taza Family von Derps, has announced that the family is in Peru saving Peru and doing “service” in Peru.

josh and i decided last minute to book this trip. like, we bought our plane tickets on friday morning and left early sunday!

It’s so amazing they even invited her sister and father to come down because it’s her father’s birthday weekend. Don’t worry, they also brought a photo/videographer!

it’s a party too, because our friend jenner (who has helped us put together our NYC guide videos and also traveled with us to amsterdam) is here for a few days! we thought it’d be a long shot when we called him friday night at like eleven in the evening all like, hey…. wanna come to peru and help us create something fun!?

The pictures show intense service like serving soup and Papa Derp and Daughter Derp performing dances for their “new friends”, aka the captive audience just waiting for some food. Later, Derp Son One went around forcing everyone to shake his hand.

he did it all on his own and it touched my heart so much! such a sweetheart. this experience has definitely been a powerful one for our family so far.

The organization they are there for is called Cross-Cultural Solutions and apparently their goals are mostly things like fostering awareness and empowering non-first-world people. The site has stories of previous volunteers here, and honestly it sounds like poverty tourism for most of the volunteers. But hey, awareness! And blog content!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

136

Internets

Ghost Bev Proves Even The Undead Can Sell Mascara

Screen Shot 2015-10-18 at 1.16.03 PM copy

Ever wonder what happened to Ghost Bev? Well apparently after her tragic death her poltergeist got a job pushing Younique makeup. She’s got a new facebook and everything! She’s even created Lashes By Beverly to help her on her journey to the top of the lash slinging ladder.

I assume she’d be even more successful if she weren’t deceased, but it’s nice to see Younique embracing such diversity in their employees.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

143

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Natalie Now Is Pregnant

Natalie Hill Jensen, the former Mormon In Manhattan turned Mormon In Utah, has finally announced she is carrying a future Broadway Famous Performer.

natnowbaby

She says “pregnancy has really flatlined me- (princess Kate & I have so much in common…)”. She also claims they are not learning the sex of the baby “which is infuriating EVERYONE”, as if the planet has been waiting for this event for years and is slobbering to get the details on this world famous baby. I guess we’ll just have to see how long she can resist the attention of “gender” reveal parties and showing off pink baby leotards for little Ginger Rogers Hill-Jensen.

Looks like her days of traipsing around NYC every month eating like a homeless person are over. How long until she becomes a mommy blogger, do you think?

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

90

Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Has No Problem With Her Daughter Being Sexy

Cecily Kellogg, not a blogger but goes to blog conferences, is still ‘writing’. Since ‘leaving’ Babble, she has found a new venue where she can share her stories of exemplary parenting. She’s now over at Yahoo! Parenting talking about Halloween costumes for tweens.

Tweens are supposed to experiment with their sexuality. It’s normal.

She then dives into some long ramble about how, back in Shakespeare’s time, there were no tweens or teenagers. Unfortunately better nutrition and the fact that it’s no longer the 16th century have forced modern 9-18 year olds to ignore their body yearnings or something.

So basically, you’ve got sexually mature humans forced to live under a newly-constructed definition of “child” and behave accordingly. This conflicts with every signal they’re getting from their own bodies.

She goes on to qualify all of this by saying HER 9 year old “isn’t yet thinking about being sexy” but once she’s 10 or 11 that will change. And she’s cool with that.

In a year or two I might wince a bit if she decides to wear a “hoochie” short skirt as part of her costume and suggest she wears leggings to keep warm, but I’m not going to tell her she’s wrong for wanting to experiment with looking pretty and, yes, even sexy — because she’s just being being a normal kid.

I just…I don’t even know, guys.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

247

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Mommy Wants Vodka Felt Her Femur Just Like, Shatter

wtfbecky

Aunt Becky, broke her hip or something, has now provided a timeline and explanation of sorts for her bizarre injuries.

Aunt Becky claims she “felt” her femur “fracture” while she was just “standing up, talking to a friend”. When someone asked how doctors didn’t see this injury, Becky replied:

They x-rayed it both times and saw nothing. I was sent home saying it was a bone bruise and a script for pain meds.

She then says she “went to inpatient rehab for PT and OT” on September 28, and by October 6 said “I am going home. I cannot wait.” Later that same day she said she’ll “be recovering from this a long…time”, though after another x-ray yesterday she reports “Turns out? My femur is working hard to get this b**** off her walker/wheelchair and back to kicking ass and takings [sic]“.

That’s not how any of this works gif here.

THIS!(1)NOPE!(0)

115

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Neely Will Teach You How To Succeed At Blogging

neelyfail

Neely Moldovan, of the wedding photographer bashing Moldovans, has now rebranded. Her “A Complete Waste Of Makeup” blog is now dead, being replaced with her new venture called “It Starts With Coffee”. The site is apparently intended to be a launchpad for her amazing new how-to-blog classes.

About this time last year I knew I wanted to offer something to bloggers I wasn’t seeing out there. A class for bloggers, taught by someone who had been doing it for five years and who was making a living off of it.

For $115 you get a class of “4 hours held via Google Hangout”. She specifies that the class is “non-refundable and non-transferable” so even if you can’t attend after you pay for it, you’re SOL.

We have to wonder why someone who made such a mess of her own online presence feels herself qualified to teach others how to succeed at social media and blogging. Or why she thinks how-to-blog classes aren’t “out there”, because it seems like everyone with a domain name is “out there” offering the same kinds of classes. But sure, ok.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

23

Internets

Bratayley’s Family Will Livestream His Memorial

Screen Shot 2015-10-06 at 9.14.13 PM

The family of Caleb Logan, the 13 year old youtube vlogger who died suddenly last week from an “undetected medical condition”, livestreamed his memorial service on the internet tonight.

A source says they are doing it to “create closure for the fans”.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

175

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

That Wife Continues To Transform Into Amazing Tech Woman

Screen Shot 2015-10-05 at 5.28.15 PM (1)

Jenna Cole, struggling to understand JavaScript, has managed somehow to figure out Manic Panic.

Now that I know I can do a passable job putting it in myself, I can have pink hair all the time!

As part of her Mumspringa journey Jenna has been doing the usual radical hair changes and alcohol. The nose stud piercing and Pinteresty feminism tattoos are sure to come next, probably around the time she finally makes HELLO WORLD appear and declares herself the millenial Grace Hopper.

But first she needs to pout about how hard coding is and then lean in to some feminist cookies.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

84

Internets WTF

Momastery Will Heal You With Her Lap

Saint Glennon, of the mystical lap healer tribe of Bloglandia, attended a conference Friday, during which her special powers were called upon.

I spoke at the Momentous Institute conference today–to a room full of mental health professionals…Afterward, this precious reader came over to my table and laid her head in my lap. She was just having a hard time and needed some comfort. We sat like this for the rest of the morning…

This story was accompanied by a picture of Glennon showing that silly Pope Francis how healing is really done.

IMG_3933

The moment is being hailed as “beautiful”, “brave”, “kind”, and various other words that do not sound like “did anyone maybe ask this lady if she would like to speak with one of the mental health professionals in attendance”.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

87