Monthly Archives: December 2015

Mommy Blogging WTF

Elena Wants You To Know Her Daughter Is A Flasher

Happy New Year’s Eve, hams! To guide us gently out of 2015 here’s a final ‘lol wut’.

Elena, art of making a flasher, posted what she called an “hilarious” photo of her daughter lifting up her shirt for the mailman.

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Ha. Well ok then. Thanks Elena, everyone needed to know this.

Everyone stay safe tonight and I’ll be posting the 2016 GOMI Awards voting page with the final categories when our hangovers go away on Monday.

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Internets The Golden Hammys

The 2016 GOMI Awards: Categories And Nominations Are Open

It’s that time once again, hams – pull out those notes you’ve been keeping all year and suggest this year’s categories and/or nominees for The Most Important Awards On The Internets: The GOMIs!

We’ll start off with these five categories.

Best Flounce

Biggest WTF

Best Shamecropping

Biggest Decline

Most Improved

And of course, the Lifetime Failchievement award. Now it’s up to you to suggest up to five additional categories which will be added to the GOMI Awards voting area. You can also nominate bloggers for the above categories, and for any suggested categories.

And if you’re wondering what happened last year, you can check out the results here. Happy nominating, hams!

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Mommy Blogging WTF

Tiffany Will Use Her Baby To Get On The Ellen Show

Tiffany Wilcox, famethirsty, is ready for her close-up, Ms. DeGeneres. She posted a picture of her “fluffy” naked baby two weeks ago and promptly began creaming herself when the image went viral. She’s now taking every opportunity to fame vampire even more attention from her roly poly offspring.

She’s obviously busy making a big show of telling off anyone who thinks her 99th percentile “mini-me” might want to sign up for Weight Watchers, because everyone knows manufacturing drama over a child will shoot you straight into seats next to Ellen and Joy Behar. Why simply delete and block comments about a picture you publicly posted when you can you make it a big ‘people are being mean to my baby’ campaign?

More predictably, Tiffany The Professional Photographer has begun squealing at brands hoping to make her daughter a spokesmodel, and is tagging people like Mario Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Ludacris, and the Ellen Show over and over and over.

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Congrats, Kinsley! You can now join the ranks of the Von Derp children as Mommy’s Little Meal Ticket! (Seriously though, can someone explain to me why all these bloggers and instagrammers are obsessed with getting on Ellen?)

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Internets

Presenting The 2015 GOMI Holiday Gift Guide

Don’t you just love gift guides? Every year every blogger alive craps out an affiliate link bonanza disguised as a helpful list of gift ideas. They’re always color coordinated, or themed, or sometimes just straight up sponsored. But each season they saturate the blogging landscape with their attempts to get you to give the greatest gift of all – a percentage of the sales in a blogger’s bank account.

Now it’s GOMI’s turn. Behold, a handy gift guide for the hamcat in your life.

On to the TL;DR…

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Vlogging WTF

Shani Grimmond Snapchats Herself With Nazi Flag, Freakouts Commence

Shani Grimmond, apparently a beauty vlogger, has angered the planet with a recent snapchat.

On her snapchat, she posted a picture of a gigantic nazi flag hanging in her brother’s apartment and her and her friends dancing around it and laughing. A few moments later, she posted a follow-up snapchat saying ‘not my flag’, indicating that she knew the meaning of it and wanted to distance herself away from it.

Alleged screenshot of Snapchat

Alleged screenshot of Snapchat

There was soon a response posted to her instagram – featuring a pic of Shani sunning her legs by the pool – along with an explanation. She claims she had no clue what the flag actually was.

I am writing to issue a heartfelt and full apology for the images of the flag that appeared yesterday on my Snapchat. Prior to the well-deserved outrage I received via social media in response to the images, I genuinely wasn’t aware of the meaning behind the flag, nor the horror it represents.

She went on to say she no longer has “any association with the person who hung the flag in his apartment” and added “Ps. IT WAS NOT MY BROTHER”.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Gala Darling Gets Radical Boob Job

Gala Darling, the “international playgirl” trying to be a “self-love” guru, has some feminist news. Five months after finally announcing the end of her marriage Gala has revealed she went under the knife and got a new pair of juicers.

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In a rambling post she says she “never hated my B cups, and in fact, I never really thought about their size until this summer” (so, basically when she started dating a new guy? hm) and “started thinking about getting a boob job”. So she talked to a doctor and within hours was consulting an astrologist to determine the best date for the surgery. She claims post-surgery she “didn’t feel groggy at all…so I asked for my phone and started texting people”. She spent the day after surgery meditating and watching tv, and had “no bruising and practically zero pain”.

The next day, Thursday, I was back to normal life. I was on Periscope at 12.30pm, went for a walk, and was — for all intents and purposes — on track again. Every day, my chest became less tight and I had more range of motion. (Two weeks after surgery, I was able to do body weight exercise, and I returned to my normal exercise routine — using resistance — yesterday.)

After paragraphs of justification and dismissal of anyone judging her for basically tossing aside all her self-acceptance and self-love teachings, she tells us “In my opinion — which, let’s face it, is the only one that matters — it looks great.” She closed by saying a boob job has nothing to do with feminism, before instagramming a picture of her new boobs crammed into a sports bra with the word “feminist” on it.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Jess Lively Announces The “Conscious Completion” Of Her Marriage

Jess Lively, peddler of “living with intention” internet classes, has announced via podcast that she and her husband have chosen to consciously “complete” their marriage. Mr. Lively sounds absolutely thrilled about it.

I want people to know that I’m happy, that I’m not depressed, that I still love Jess, I look forward to still being close friends, I’m excited about our future lives, I cherish the past five years, and everything is okay. Really, everything is okay.

Jess made the announcement while interviewing fellow woo shoveler Katherine Woodward Thomas, the woman who gifted the world with the term “conscious uncoupling”.

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Book Club Lifestyle Blogging

‘Carrying On’ – A Liveblogged Book Review

Happy Friday, hams! It’s been a while since we did a book reading. I have a few lined up again, so let’s do a few over the next few weeks. Now, I was going to go to this today but I decided instead to bring you Ramshackle Glam‘s second book. So. Yeah. Sigh. Share my suffering as I slog through the painful prose of ’Carrying On: Style, Beauty, Décor (and More) for the Nervous New Mom’.

On to the TL;DR…

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Internets SOMI

‘Instagram Husband’ Is Giving Me Life

Here is a nice evening lol for everyone – InstagramHusband.com, a satirical support group for those poor men forced to photograph their wives for instagram.

If you did not laugh at that video then you don’t spend enough time on instagram. SOMI, Instagram Husband!

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Fashion Blogging

Atlantic/Pacific And Some Other Bloggers “Designed” Some Bags

Rebecca Minkoff is a pretty notorious blogger butt kisser, so I guess it’s no surprise she has “customized one of her best-selling bags for each blogger’s distinct style and the cities they call home”. Basically she released her Chanel boy bag knockoff looking thing in black, red, and pink and slapped three bloggers’ names on them.

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If you’re interested (you’re not) the bloggers involved are Blair Eadie (of Atlantic-Pacific) Wendy Nguyen (of Wendy’s Lookbook) and Daniela Ramirez (of  Nany’s Klozet). The underwhelming collaboration can be seen here – they are supposedly limited edition runs of only 100 bags each, but they’ve been out for a week and seem in no danger of selling out.

So there ya go, enjoy some boring news from fashion blogging land. It was either this or Messica’s new haircut, and I figured an update on which bloggers Minkoff is diddling this week was less of a trainwreck.

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Food Blogging Internets

Pinterest Blocked A Bunch Of Food Bloggers And Everyone Is Angry

After causing an uproar for blocking affiliate linking, Pinterest is yet again angering bloggers by marking a bunch of them as spammers.

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Pinterest users aren’t thrilled either.

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There doesn’t appear to be a response from Pinterest as to what’s going on.

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Vlogging WTF

Brandy Wooten Will Tag You On Facebook Unless You Have Her Fresh Cookies

Brandy Wooten, apparently an influential blogger, posted a weird, expletive laden video of herself verbally abusing a McDonald’s employee. It seems they didn’t have Brandy’s fresh baked cookies ready for her on her arrival, even though she calls ahead “every time”. (I would recommend you not watch this video if you don’t like loud curse words.)




Telling the poor drive through woman she is “a real blogger” and intends to “tag” her, she then invites people to follow her on facebook before calling the employee a “raggedy a**”. The employee then tells her to have a nice day, to which the classy Brandy responds “I will, b*tch”.

Welcome to the entitled world of a “real blogger”.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Bleubird Is Latest Blogger To Open A Store

In the fine tradition of trying to transition blog semi-fame into a retail venture, Miss James has announced “TWO SON”.

Saying the project has been in the works for two years, James describes it as “a menswear, womenswear, and housewares store in Nashville”. It appears the store will  basically be yet another small stock shop with light wood and white walls and Schoolhouse lighting. So far it all looks like a generic factory of waning gram trends; as one ham put it, the store’s instagram wins “the award for the world’s most beige-est instagram feed”.

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According to James the store will have “amazing pieces from our favorite brands: Lauren Manoogian, Norse Projects, Caron Callahan, Ace&Jig, Tellason, Le Labo, Helm, B Sides, Maryam Nassir Zadeh, Freenote Cloth, Ryan Roche, Clyde, our in-house label TwoSon”, so basically mostly stuff you can buy at 200 places online already.

So, hooray. Just what the world needs – yet another minimalist, hipster luxury, vanity project store pushing items none of her fangirls can afford.

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