Monthly Archives: April 2016

Internets Mommy Blogging

Matt Logelin Thinks He Could Be “Fast Friends” With Channing Tatum

Matt Logelin, the dad who has been cashing in on his appeal to the casserol-bringer set for the past 8 years, might have his life story made into a movie – possibly starring Channing Tatum. He seems very excited about the prospect of a celebrity buddy.

We haven’t met yet, but if this moves forward, I’m hoping that we’ll be hanging out a lot, and if we do, I’m sure we’ll become fast friends.

He then switched to pimping his new book, which is evidently supposed to be “a funny reminder to all children that their dad could be way worse than he actually is”.

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Pink Peonies Launches Her Own Clothing Line

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Rach Parcell, the pink-loving Nordstrom shopper behind Pink Peonies, officially launched her online store today. She’s apparently selling clothes she designed. But she says it’s not like that time she designed jewelry. According to her comment on instagram that whole fiasco wasn’t really her fault:

…I was in a licensing deal. I was unable to make final decisions on design because I was not the one funding the business. I hired a lawyer to get me out of that contract because I didn’t agree with some of the decisions being made and they told me things that would happen that actually didn’t (like everything being designed by me and not just bought wholesale). It’s much cheaper and less time consuming to buy wholesale, that’s why that decision was made by the people who were funding the brand…

She went on to say she “got out of that contract to create a brand that was my own business and funded by me so at the end of the day, I have the final decision” and accordingly posted gram pics and snaps of herself drawing designs and throwing fabric over dressforms.

The result is mostly a bunch of pink and white dresses and skirts in straightforward, unoriginal shapes perfect for wearing to weddings or Easter church services. Sizes go up to a 10/12 and prices begin at $100. She is evidently already working on her fall line.

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Book Club Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Former That Wife Finds New Outlet For Getting Attention

Jenna, now living absolutely, has discovered Periscope. For those of you who don’t know, Periscope is basically a live webcam/webcasting app where people can use their phone to broadcast whatever they want. A lot of people use it for things like walking around interesting places and talking about what they see, or at events where they describe the scene for people who aren’t there. Others use it to record or broadcast classes for review or home students. Some use it to show off their penises. Jenna of course uses it to sit and talk about herself and how hard life is.

So instead of book club, let’s do a live watch of ‘Testing’, episode 1 of Jenna’s Periscope.

On to the TL;DR…

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Mommy Blogging

Sara Jenks Will Bravely Start The Conversation

Sara Jenks, expert at life, says “very few people talk about the truth of the struggle of motherhood”, and since no one is sharing how hard life is, it’s “[c]ue high rates of postpartum depression, isolation, eating disorders and divorce”. But Sara and her superbeef are brave and real.

Just a few days ago I texted her, “What do you do when your nanny cancels, you have 3 blog posts to write and the baby won’t stop crying?” …During almost every conversation about how hard it is to be a mom and the ridiculous things that happened to us the past week, one of us screams, “WHY ISN’T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!?”

Thankfully Sara will gladly help start the conversation by pointing you to her bff’s podcast about how hard parenting is, because there are no other podcasts about how much parenting can suck and no one on the internets talking about how parenting can suck. There aren’t any movies about how hard it is to be a mom, no playgroups where moms complain to each other about The Endless Journey To The Volcano Of Potty Training. Sara and Amy alone are bringing you this comfort of inclusivity. You’re welcome, moms!

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Internets

White Savior Barbie Is The Latest Barbie Instagram

If you miss the adventures of that hipster Barbie instagram, maybe you’ll enjoy Barbie Savior. It’s an account evidently making fun of white girls who go to Africa and take voluntourism selfies.

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So go have fun with that if you’re into those barbie lampoon gram feeds!

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Lifestyle Blogging

Pink Peonies Is Pregnant Again Just Like Everyone Has Been Saying For Three Months

Rachel Parcell, the “jewelry designer” and alleged seven figure a year blogger, has announced her fertility issues seem to be over.

This little baby (who already is kicking up a storm) was a BIG surprise!!! It took me a year (and one round of clomid) to get pregnant with Isla Rose so I never would’ve imagined I would get pregnant with my next baby so quickly!

Saying she “only had one period between Isla and this baby” she goes on to share the details of buying and taking a pregnancy test in Italy. No word on whether she has scheduled baby number two’s first jet ski ride.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Brandon Can Blow His Financial Aid Money On A Vacation

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Brandon and his girlfriend Nat, they promise they aren’t rich, are a couple of college kids who both love Nat’s behind and traveling the world. So when Brandon received his financial aid money for school, the choice on how to spend it was obvious – take his girlfriend’s rump on a trip to Thailand.

Hi my name is Brandon and my school just gave me $2,500 in financial aid to spend on textbooks and supplies. And my girlfriend has never left the country before, and I know the one place she’s always wanted to go. And I decided to do something a little different with my financial aid. So this is our itinerary to Thailand, and she doesn’t know it yet, but I’m about to go surprise her. Let’s do it!

They have an instagram account where they document the adventures of Nat’s booty in various locations, and a Facebook page where Brandon explained why it’s ok to use your financial aid money on being “a boss”.

I’ve realized that many people are mislead by the amount of money spent for our trip. The $2500 merely covered our tickets. We spent around $1000 each for a month where we stayed in hostels so we could afford to do the bigger things…I am a film major. I got $2500 after my tuition was paid for. As a film student you luckily don’t need many textbooks. How did I get $2500 in financial aid? I was emancipated when I was 16.

Hopefully his reasoning will calm all the haters who seem angry that some entitled white boy is spending money earmarked for the educational needs of the financially disadvantaged on a tropical vacation for his girlfriend’s tuchas.

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Lifestyle Blogging

That Wife Wants To Live Absolutely

Jenna Cole, ladycoder and expert at selfing, has started yet another internet presence. In a rambling introduction she explains what Living Absolutely is all about.

Living out loud. Jumping in with both feet…Drinking in everything that feeds your Self. Putting your Self first…Experimenting. Trying new things. Trying all the things. Living out your vision board yet being willing to burn the board the next day because you’ve changed your mind and have new dreams to chase after.

So far it seems to mostly be a depository for Jenna’s Toastmaster ‘speeches’. This latest addition to her online existence joins her two new instagram accounts in Jenna’s attempt to carpet bomb the internet with her pink hair.

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

RewardStyle Conference Begins And Not Much Has Changed

It’s time once again for the RewardStyle Con, the event that allows selected style bloggers to feel superior to those who did not make enough money to attend. Everyone is already gramming their brains out, providing behind-the-scenes looks at their totally unique experiences.

We have the Breakfast On A White Bed grams.

And there’s the My Feet By The Pool selfies.

And the Everyone Posing In Front Of The Same Wall pics.

I guess a good brick wall wasn’t available.

Queen Bee Amber spent the week preparing with facials, and was pronounced #inspiring at her keynote speech. The weekend of partying should be enough to motivate her monkeys to keep making money for her matching mother daughter shoes.

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Healthy Living Blogging

Run Gia Run Will Not Be Running

Gia, marathon running philanthropist mom, announced on Sunday that she would not be running the 2016 Boston Marathon because she made a little oopsie last year.

As I said before I was unable to run with my bib last year. However someone did run with that bib. I gave it to a friend…Based on an “anonymous tip” the BAA found out. They had photo proof that I wasn’t the runner who ran with my bib. This breaks their rules and disqualifies me from running in any further BAA races.

This evil snitch left poor Gia broken hearted since she had trained her “little postpartum heart out” preparing to run “THE race”. After attempting to be properly contrite for her “mistake” she went on to address the BAA directly.

To the Boston Marathon, I don’t know if I will ever be at peace with this…I will continue to strive for another qualification and maybe, just maybe you will forgive this mama for the mistake she made.

But it seems there was more to the story than just the “mistake” of a bib fib. Other runners claimed Gia used that bib time – the time run by her friend in the 2015 marathon – to qualify for this year’s race. Marathon Investigation alleged Gia “knowingly and intentionally applied for a bib using a time that was not her own”.

Today Gia posted an apology saying she “made a bad decision and I have been punished. I feel very sorry.”

My hope is that with this apology the hatred out there can stop.  Running is about camaraderie, I am so sorry for bringing negativity out of the community that I think is beautiful.  We all make mistakes, we are human.

Marathon Investigation responded by saying they “give credit to Gia…for owning up to both giving her bib away and registering for Boston 2016 using that runner’s time”.

 

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Lifestyle Blogging

Jordan Reid Gets Ramshackle Boobs

Jordan Reid, wants to sell you a “mom bod” sweatshirt, has taken a break from peddling “mom bod” sweatshirts in order to post a limping justification of why her new boob job is totes about loving your “mom bod” and also feminism or something.

Claiming she wrote about her “journey” because she wants to remove the stigma of cosmetic surgery, she tells us that it “shouldn’t involve feelings of shame and guilt and embarrassment” to have a procedure that basically nobody shrinks away from discussing publicly anymore.

Her #sobrave boob job confessional comes just months after admitting she was getting botox, an admission that finally freed the women of the world to go out and try the top secret, never discussed injectible that no one gets because of the shame or something.

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