Jessica Quirk, I guess she’s still blogging or something, has finally admitted that she is pregnant again after everyone on GOMI knew for like 2 months.
… I’m pregnant! I thought I’d do some big post to announce but I haven’t really had a bump until this morning! It’s kind of weird how it works in the early days…The early days were so rough on me. Much more difficult than my pregnancy with Felix…which some of you have probably guessed by my lack of summertime posts!
She says it’s “strange to keep such a big secret for so long” even though pretty much every single person who follows her blog at all has known she was resquirked since oh, May. I’ll never understand why these people who live their entire lives publicly – and leave a detailed trail of their changing shape and fashion choices and attempts to skinny app on the internet – think they are able to contain such secrets. But sure, ok. Big secret.
Anyway, I’m sure we are all looking forward to round two of Messica’s condescending decrees about how to treat a human broodmare and her increased whining about being a mom of two as if she is the first woman to ever have two children under three years old.
Lynn, apparently did not escape obesity the first 39 times, is now jumping on the ‘across America’ bandwagon.
I have plotted out a route across America on Google Maps, from coast to coast, and I’m going to ride that route on my stationary exercise bike. Yep, it’s Fat Mom Across America! This way I am committed to the ride but can do the miles without leaving home.
Inspired by Forest Lump’s amazing tale of accomplishing nothing for a year before returning home, Lynn will use his story to motivate her as she attempts a “virtual trip” from coast to virtual coast.
Part of what inspired me to do this is wondering: can I, at 245 pounds, do the same amount of miles that Fat Guy Across America can do at 560 pounds, even with my joint issues? If he can do it, I can too, right? I’ve tried to find a ride log on his site with no luck, so I am wondering how many miles per day he is doing and how far he has gotten. I can’t find his official route, either; there seems to be some driving and circling around and changing routes along the way, so I decided to pick my own route instead.
That sounds…whatever, sure, awesome. Stunt weight loss is always a great solution to decades of eating issues and an inability to include daily exercise without making a big public performance of it. Just ask Ben and Eric!
Jenna Cole, normalizing day drinking, wants you to “make use of your privilege” by helping her legalize marijuana. In her latest post she takes on the justice system for penalizing non-white non-upper-middle-class-SAHMs merely for enjoying the cheeb.
…27.6 percent of drug offenders were locked up for crimes related to marijuana…Many, I would argue most, were participating in an act no worse than anything I’ve done – possessing marijuana. Except I’m white, and I had $60 in cash to pay for 5 minutes with a weed doctor in exchange for a “medical marijuana card” and I can afford to choose an employment position that doesn’t do drug testing.
She then took her reasoning to facebook, where she claimed that “normalizing” marijuana use would be a main decider for legalization. When readers argued that it probably had more to do with states wanting that sweet sweet taxable money from legal regulation, she took the discussion in a weird direction.
Let’s compare this to…. abortion. If more women spoke openly about their abortions, do you think that would accelerate public opinion toward unrestricted access to safe and legal abortions. This is a move that some feminist groups are working at right now, to change public opinion on a political issue via normalization. Do you also think this is not effective?
Well, DO YOU? Ok, I sort of see where she’s trying to go with this, but the analogy doesn’t really work here. Access to safe medical terminations for all women is not really the same thing as Jenna wanting to be “one step closer to getting high on vacation”. But keep on looking for ways to remind us you’re a stoner now, Jenjen.
Neely somebody, that blogger who is basically only known for slamming her wedding photographer, has announced she and her goblin husband are expecting.
Andrew and I are overjoyed to announce that baby BOY Moldovan will be joining our family in February. It’s been quite the journey to get here but we feel beyond blessed to be this little guys parents! #MiniMoldovan #OurMiracle
I really want to care about this but I don’t. Honestly doubt anyone else does either. All I can think is ‘sympathy ploy in the lawsuit game’. But hey, good job locking down your pregnancy hashtag!
Eric Hites, the fat guy who said he would ride his bicycle across America but instead fiddlefarted around for a year before returning home, has announced that he and his little garden gnome wife are trying to produce a children’s book.
Age range will be for any range as you can read it to a toddler and they can enjoy the colorful pictures and the words are simple yet be good for a first Grader.
Instead of spending the past 30 days getting real jobs, going to fitness boot camp, or riding daily like he claimed, Eric has instead opted to grift money for a binding machine so he and his all-but-illiterate wife can ‘write’ a book for kids.
Of course they are also selling bike chain key rings because everybody wants a piece of the fat guy adventure!
Order a key-ring with chain from Fat guy’s bike to help with the journey and to be a part of the journey. Soon he will be leaving from Dallas, Texas to complete his journey across America. Be a part of it today by supporting the ride!
Hasn’t the internet been ‘supporting the ride’ for like, 18 months? How about Eric supporting his own ride now? Ya know, with an actual job?