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It's one of those days when you tell your #littles to get ready for school and they just fiddlefart around putting their feet in their mouths. Some #Mondays, am I right? #serenitynow #patiencelord #blessed #letthembelittle
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Shauna Ahern, the poster girl for gluten-free health, has a long history of making things about her. She is the ultimate topper – no matter what you’ve experienced or felt, she experienced or felt something much more dramatic and deep and “story” worthy. Now she’s trying to top the folks who went through 9/11 by declaring this election “worse” than that event.
Sorry thousands of people who died, sorry families of those who died, sorry those who survived and continue to deal with the aftermath – Shauna’s preferred presidential candidate didn’t win, so she gets to feel worse than you. If that upsets you maybe you can make some lemon muffins.
Your contributions have helped to feed people. Your contribution helped mothers make cookies for their children who were recently diagnosed with celiac and feel like life would be okay again. Your contribution helped make Thanksgiving pies and Fourth of July cakes and birthday treats and the food of beautiful ordinary days. Your contribution helped give ease and comfort to thousands of people’s lives, people who have bought this flour and felt like life could be good again, even without gluten.
But there was a dark side. Yesly and Band-aid Fingers struggled to understand the Post Office and suffered the heartache of “turning away from writing and cooking to focus full-time on a business we barely understood”.
The flour business paid off all the people who had helped us with the Kickstarter. The business paid for the boxes to be printed. The flour to be blended. The 10,000 boxes of flour to be shipped to us. The storage fees. The lawyers’ fees for trademark and other work. The insurance on the flour. The postage fees to send out boxes of flour to nearly 1000 people. The money and time and postage for other rewards, including groceries for dinners and lunches. Payroll for ourselves. We were almost done with the Kickstarter money as the flour arrived. We had to learn shipping software and struggle with the post office…
Shauna then reminds us – as she does every time she sits down at her keyboard – that she won a James Beard award, before announcing that she and her husband “didn’t have a steady job between us” and “didn’t know much about business”. And that after accepting a crapload of money to create and distribute a product and limping along for two years in this state, they decided they “didn’t want to do what we realized this path would require: give up our creative passions to make this work”.
Shauna goes on to dismiss your complaints about your Kickstarter contribution rewards by saying
I’d remind myself — and I would like to remind you — that this wasn’t a business transaction. You contributed to help us make this flour, not merely for a box or two of flour. Some of you have been angry, writing to me saying, “Where is my grain-free flour?” I understand. But again, this wasn’t money paid for flour, as people who buy the flour through our website expect. It was a pledge to help a cause with a promised reward as a thank you.
So, too bad, suckas. They “have done our best” and Shauna doesn’t crave any additional success beyond…I dunno, living in a dirty kitchen and working in a grocery store?
I thought about how the life I do have is enough. And wishing for more, for an empire, for money and security and a bigger house? It’s a ruse. It’s a lie. It’s what The Great Gatsby was all about.
I feel like she did not read The Great Gatsby.
Anyway, she winds down with her entry into the Pulitzer Obvious Statement category, saying “we’re not even that good at this”. Then she dramatically collapses onto her chaise, waving her handkerchief Wallace Stevens style, “Adieu, Adieu, Adieu”.
I’m looking forward to the day that a mention of the Kickstarter doesn’t pinch my heart with guilt and regret, the day I can focus only on your generosity and kindness.
Because Shauna just wants to get back to focusing on how Shauna feels and feeds. But thanks for the money!
Shauna Ahern, grocery store person, has apparently done a lot of thinking since she traded in internet importance for cleanups on aisle 7. In an odd post that is basically a gluten-fee word salad, Shauna says “continuing to write gluten-free girl the way it began doesn’t feel right now”, and that she “can’t do it anymore”.
Again, I’m so grateful that so many of you care. But it has worn on me, these past few years, that my family and our life has become a bit of a commodity. I’m not comfortable with it anymore…Besides, this way of publishing here doesn’t match what we do.
She goes on to remind us that she won a James Beard award because it’s been 15 minutes since she reminded us she won a James Beard award. Then she tells us what her blog will really be about from now on.
When we met, I was a high school teacher and he was a chef. Now we are professional recipe developers…Dan and I know our stuff now…Now, we’d rather share the specifics of gluten-free baking and how to make gravy with a gluten-free flour than talk about our lives anymore.
She then encourages people to buy some of her flour before concluding with the threat of another book.
The irony of writing an enormously long personal essay to announce that I’m not really doing that here anymore is not lost on me. I’m still a writer. I need to take my personal writing away from immediate commercial work, however. I’ve been working on a book of personal essays for the past year.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh wait – YESSSSSSSSS. It would be a good excuse to do another book club!
Shauna Ahern, has gluten problems according to herself, is apparently not making enough money writing books and Kickstarter begging. She has had to lower herself to become…a grocery store person. She made the announcement via a nine grillion word instagram post.
This morning I walked into work at 7 am to see this. Already, the day was good.
This week, I started a new job for the first time in over a decade. I’m working three days a week at the incredible grocery store on Vashon. Why?
I’ve grown weary of the internet being my only workplace. I like it here but I need a break from marketing and shouting and people demanding and mostly the frantic nature of it all. I used to be pretty good at selling books but I’m not built for it. Like our books? I’m thrilled. But doing everything we can to get more followers and sell more books? I’m weary thinking about it now. It doesn’t feel like it’s at the heart of what matters to me in the world.
After I survived the minor stroke last summer, Danny and I talked a lot this year about how much we want to slow down and truly live in our town. I have talked to more people who live on Vashon in the last three days than I had in months.
And two people being self-employed with two small kids? It’s too tenuous. It has been a tough couple of years of up and down, financially, since the exorbitant expense of adoption. Now, I have a solid paycheck. And health insurance for the entire family for $35 a month in union dues. (Bless the unions.) And really, really good health insurance. Need a good job, friends and fellow artists? Work at a grocery store.
Finally, as my dear friend John, who is a painter, convinced me, artists need day jobs. I’m working on a new book — not a cookbook — and I find I have no time to create it when I spend my entire work day answering emails and doing almost-creative work. This is a choice to write.
So, I’m punching a clock for the first time. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to love it.
gluten-free girl will still go on, probably even stronger. We have dozens of new recipes in the works for the coming months. I’m teaching baking classes all fall. I’m just going back to enjoying it again, instead of feeling like we need to earn all our money from it.
This is my new way to feed people.
Did you read all that? Good. Breathe.
Shauna Ahern, did you know she adopted a black kid, adopted a black kid. She knows all about the horror and heartbreak of the Alton Sterling family, and of all families who endure racism and possible violence, because she adopted a black son.
This is my beautiful 2-year-old son…in 10 to 15 years, he’s going to be enormously tall and strong. His black body will be a threat to someone…he could be killed for driving black.
She can tell us all how to fix racism because she adopted a black kid. Did you know she adopted a black kid? She did.
She explains that nothing will change in America until white people fix it.
There is a wound at the heart of this nation…And it’s going to take white people doing something, so many of us shouting, before anything changes. Rise up, people. Rise up.
White people like Shauna, who knows all about racism and how to fix it because she adopted a black kid.
Shauna Ahern, working on yet another book, has jumped on the ‘blogging is dead’ bandwagon. In an interview with some blog no one cares about Shauna says she read on that there google machine that “in four to five years 75 percent of the Internet is going to be video, not text”.
I’ve noticed that blogs don’t really matter any more. Very few people are starting blogs these days. There’s Tumblr, Instagram, Periscope – people can do social media without a blog. A lot of people have stopped writing. Even the notion of a website is antiquated now, because you can make an entire living from Instagram.
This pronouncement came on the heels of Shauna saying they are “switching over to an ad network on our blog, so there will be revenue from that” and that in a few years they hope to “have enough subscribers to stop doing ads and sponsors”. Which doesn’t really make sense if blogging will be dead in a few years, but ok.
She also revealed she has signed with “a talent agent” who will “build partnerships for us and actively seeking out companies to work with and appearances”. I guess because people are really clamouring to book the magic and majesty of Roadface and Fingernail Filth for personal appearances. She concluded the interview by saying “My blog voice is reassuring, contented, and distilled into a peaceful place. People want to come back for that.”
After causing an uproar for blocking affiliate linking, Pinterest is yet again angering bloggers by marking a bunch of them as spammers.
Pinterest users aren’t thrilled either.
There doesn’t appear to be a response from Pinterest as to what’s going on.
Happy Eat-And-Argue-With-Family day to all us American hams! If you’re in need of another carb at the table but all out of unique ideas, blogger Stavvers has an idea you can steal.
I am making sourdough. I started the starter on Saturday afternoon…I bunged something a little bit unconventional in the starter: yeast from my vagina.
Yes, Stavvers (who has already hashtagged the event with the delightful #c**tsourdough) used as “much vaginal yeast as I could scrape off a dildo I put in my vagina” in her sourdough starter and is now sitting around seeing if she can get some dough out of it. Of course this is getting a lot of vocal side-eye, all gleefully documented in a blog post where she describes the process in detail.
So there you go. If those Pillsbury rolls just aren’t getting it done this year, I guess you could try some vag biscuits. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can’t tell you how excited I am to share this collection with you, and I am over-the-moon thrilled that Walmart will be launching it. The quality of the pieces is amazing, the prices are fantastic, and every single item is a reflection of the things I love in life.
The collection seems to be a lot of enamelware style stuff, mason jar glasses, and “rustic” wood handled kitchen tools which are all very trendy on The Pinterest Machine. The flatware and dinnerware is not really all that distinctive – I’ve seen similar stuff at Dollar Tree for years – but will probably sell like crazy with her rabid fanbase.
So, not really interesting news. But she’s still a blogger and it’s really slow this week, and since Marlboro Woman seems dead I figured some of you out there might want a chance to discuss ole Ree.
OMG A BOOK CLUB! It’s been a couple of weeks, did you miss me? Of course you didn’t. Well you may wish I’d skipped another week because today we are going to plow through ‘White Jacket Required: A culinary Coming-of-Age Story’ by Jenna Weber of Eat, Live, Run. Hooray! Or not.
Happy Friday, hamcats! Are you American hams ready to celebrate this nation by shotgunning PBR and acquiring sparkler related injuries? Too bad. Because this week we are going on a journey of healthy food, exercise, and alcohol restraint with Tina Haupert‘s ‘Carrots ‘N’ Cake: Healthy Living One Carrot and Cupcake at a Time’. So restrict yourself to one beer, hide the cookies, and then dust off those treadmills as we learn how a healthy living blogger keeps herself in blogging shape.
Today is a day like no other. Your life, quiet, stumbling like a small child in search of the truffles that have already been found by hogs. It will change today. It will change swiftly but it will feel endless, like a heartbeat between I love yous, or like the morning after you win a chili eating contest. Today you will breathe along with ‘Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef‘ by The Gluten-Free Girl Shauna Ahern, and also Daniel Ahern. I bring you this review as a gift. A gift from my heart to yours, because I love you all very much, and I enjoy reading books about healthy eating written by people who look about as healthy as a pan of Hamburger Helper. Yes. Let us begin.
Taralynn, wants a cafe, went on an omgdatenight recently. She ordered tomato soup, because that’s what a true foodie does when they go to a nice restaurant. Her boyfriend ordered the lamb. This apparently triggered some sort of memory for Taralynn, involving someone named Ira.
The last time I had lamb was a couple years ago in the Hamptons. I was baby sitting Ira Rennert’s grandchildren. We were sitting outside on their beachfront dining area and all of a sudden they start praying in hebrew and a violist is playing next to me. I can’t tell you how awkward it was, but the lamb was good.
When commenters informed her she needs “to start choosing your words better”, Taralynn responded “I don’t know why you’re trying to argue with me” because she totally didn’t mean anything bad. She then took her feelings to twitter.
Coming from someone who apparently intends to go to law school, my only reaction is “lol ok then”.