Instagram Internets Slow News Day Snapchat Vlogging

Shorty Award Nominees Announced

It’s time for the 9th Annual Shorty Awards, and Instagram and Snapchat thirsties who managed to get nominated are busy flooding their social media feeds with pleas to their fans to go vote for them. And just who are these “influencers“?

On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram Mommy Blogging

Mamagrammers Not Even Trying Anymore

Mamawatters, the original kinfolky prairie mamagrammer, posted a fun snow day picture of her sons on ye olde oh-so-rustic LL Bean red sled.

On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram Lifestyle Blogging Where Are They Now

Was Hey Natalie Jean “Dumped” By Husband?

Over the New Year Hey Natalie Jean, former blogger, posted a strange update to instagram stories. Just a year and a half after being dragged to Idaho by Mr. Natalie Jean she posted a burning list with what looked like a claim that she was “dumped by my husband”.

On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram Mommy Blogging

Tiffany’s Fat Baby Is Now A Card Game

Happy New Year! I wonder what baby peddler Tiffany is up to this year? Wait, what?

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On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram

Stasia Will Use Uber Passengers For Instagram Material

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Stasia, the garlic scented grifter, finally got herself a job. She’s driving for Uber and the job comes with a perk – being able to use her passengers as social media content. She has posted a photo of one of her passengers who appears to be passed out near the backseat along with a caption detailing his behavior with her new hashtag “#stasiasuberstories’.

On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram WTF

If You Are Looking For A New Honey Boo Boo, Madelene Has This Daughter

Madelene, Barbie’s trashy rural cousin she never invites to the Dream House, has joined the world of pimpmoms. She created an instagram account for her two year old daughter and offers her up as a “BRANDREP” for free tiny thigh high  boots and toddler sized daisy duke shorts.

On to the TL;DR…

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Instagram

Katie Is Sorry Your Son Is Dying So She Needs To Go Online Shopping

Katie Bower, of the crack house journeys for Jesus Bowers, is asking all of us to pray.

Guys. I know today is supposed to be about scoring amazing deals and shopping till you drop but my heart is so heavy for @savannat8 and her sweet family. If you don’t know her story, don’t go there now without a box of tissues. I have followed her little guys story from the day he was diagnosed and this week, I have cried so many times for her and I don’t even know them. I just simply can’t imagine. It has brought new perspective for me in quiet moments and I pray for them throughout the day.

She continues her touching plea:

I hope you join me and the hoards of mamas praying for this sweet family. Let’s pray for a miracle. Thanks y’all. And now to distract myself with discounted shopping  #mamasunite #prayers

That’s so moving and I…wait, what the hell? Did she really just tell a story about a baby dying and end it with “now to distract myself with discounted shopping”? She didn’t do that. OMG she did do that. No wait, first she made it about how much SHE was crying and how much SHE was praying. Then she hashtagged ‘mamasunite’, dabbed her eyes and blew her nose, and went do some online shopping to ‘distract’ herself.

Ok. Cool story, Katie.

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Instagram WTF

Erika Will Let Her Grandmother Meet Jesus, But First, Instagram

Erika, the new old joy, is celebrating her family this Thanksgiving.

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Just kidding, she is posing stoically next to her grandma as she takes her last breaths because even as we die our dignity is unimportant in the face of Instagram likes. Erika provides this overwrought caption to accompany her overwrought picture.

grandma is preparing to meet the Jesus she loves, and I must free her to go. no matter how one goes about preparing for the process of dying, finality catches me wholly unprepared, shaken. stir my heart towards joy, oh God, for her faith is soon to be sight, the darkened glass of mortality unveiled into the brilliancy of knowing even as also we are known.

How about letting grandma meet Jesus in peace and privacy? How about letting grandma’s death be grandma’s thing, instead of making it about you and your instagram content?

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Healthy Living Blogging Instagram

Ben Will Rebrand After Sort Of Doing Life

Ben Davis, kind of did life and then did internet begging, is apparently in the midst of a rebrand. After completing that webfunded cross-continent instagram party, he proceeded to produce a book.

If you want to buy the book you can click the link in my profile or go to benwalksamerica.com. Every book will be signed by me, and hand delivered to the post office. Thanks so much for the patience these last couple weeks. It’s been a little stressful putting it all together and waiting on shipping.

What is it with bloggers and their shipping issues?

Anyway, in the interest of selling himself as ‘that fat guy who walked around’ he has now moved to a new tumblr.

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And if you want to be the new Ben who is doing life you can spend $2k and buy his old domain!

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At least one good thing might come out of this boring post nobody cares about.

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More book club, anyone?

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Healthy Living Blogging Instagram

Stasia Is Getting Her Surgery

You may remember Stasia, fat gal who never got on a bike. She had her second GoFundMe ostensibly for weight loss surgery, but it seems the majority of the funds raised actually went to pay her rent and bills and finance her nights out with “friends”.

Well, good news – despite claiming she was being evicted this side of 6 weeks ago she is somehow magically now able to afford this surgery.

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She makes it sound likes she’s been busting fupa for years and this is her only option.

I have given it a go for 2 years now, and though I have lost quite a bit, I haven’t lost enough and I know I need this extra tool.

She then launches into what looks suspiciously like a partnership/sponsor spiel.

I will be using Dr. [redacted], in Tijuana MX. I was contacted by [redacted] and will be sharing my experience with you guys about going through them with the whole process. I’m looking forward to sharing all of the ups and downs and hopefully giving some insight about the experience of medical tourism, and take away a lot of the fear. People are really scared of the unknown. But I have heard, first hand, and read, nothing but great things about [redacted] and their entire process. I can’t wait to start this new chapter. 2017 is going to be a year to remember!! If you’d like more information, contact [redacted] of [redacted]

When some of her followers naturally assumed this meant she would be getting a free surgery, and wanting to know wtf happened to the GFM that is still earmarked as ‘medical’, Stasia did her usual defensive rhino charge.

why would I give any money back? When the money was raised and used for the surgery??…read my above comment. And it’s not for free.

And of course her fangirls were quick to add helpful comments like “Even if the surgery was free, there is still travel and recovery time! People just jealous!”

If she is not getting a comped surgery she might want to break down precisely how she is suddenly financing this  operation. Because anyone with simple math skills can figure out, based on her own words of how she spent the fundraiser money on rent and bills and makeup, that the GFM money is long gone and probably not going towards this surgery. At the very least she could stop yelling at people and just delete and block if she doesn’t want to deal with it. Whining about haters and having social media slapfights isn’t a good look for a “celebrity”, Stasia!

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Instagram

Old Joy’s Old Home Has A New Mamagram Occupant

If you’ve been missing Old Joy‘s Kinfolk castle, don’t despair – it’s now the home of another instaprarie mama.

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Yes just head on over to Erika’s gram and see the circle of instalife for an on-trend house. Later we can talk about whether it’s weird to uproot your life and drop six figures on a house in the pursuit of instagram popularity.

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Instagram WTF

Lauren Bullen Fan Can SWF At A Terrifyingly Expert Level

Lauren Bullen has a popular travel instagram. It is so popular that one of her fans decided to copy her. No…I mean REALLY copy her. Like recreate her entire instagram kind of copy her.

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Lauren put up a post showing a dozen or so other examples of “diana_alexa” and her wackydoodle copycat gram.

…the amount of time and pre-organising she put into arranging the outfits, I don’t promote and tag everything I wear, so that would have taken a lot of time and work, even down to the anklets and necklace. Not to mention the cost of all this- those outfits and accommodations don’t come at a cheap price…

Lauren decided the “fan” had gone “next level” and decided to confront her.

…when I messaged her about discovering her page and how crazy and ridiculous I thought it was she tried to justify it by just saying everyone copies us and even big accounts are taking same pictures at the same place & told me I should make my pictures private if I don’t want this to happen…

And we thought those girls trying to copy Taza were weird!

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Fashion Blogging Instagram Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Bloggers React To Election About How You’d Expect

In case you hadn’t heard, America had an election Tuesday and despite bloggers’ instagram and snapchat campaigns, Trump made it to the Oval. Now most bloggers are coping the only way they know how – publicly.

Jordan Reid at Ramshackle Glam, known for her intellectual think pieces, can’t seem to get back on track.

As a writer, I have no idea how to return to my regular schedule of cute shoes and funny parenting stories, or how to sit down today and start moving through to a to-do list that includes such imperatives as “start compiling holiday gift guide,” and “post flat-lay to IG.”

She has apparently rallied with a new post about an “action plan” that is basically her informing us how super involved she is in her community and btw did you know she has battled anxiety for decades. She then suggests you go sign a change.org petition “calling upon the Electoral College to fix this” and tells you to go donate to a bunch of things. Because if having a tantrum doesn’t work, throw money at the problem. That’s the rich American white girl way!

Jessica Quirk got straight to the point.

I can’t bring myself to say much today, I’m still in a state of shock, so I’m just going to post my outfit.

The instagram prairie mamas are either silent or pushing an agenda of quiet acceptance and hugs – the typical resigned-smile, everything-will-be-fine position that hetero suburban sahms of comfortable means can easily afford to embrace. Mama Watters doesn’t want to talk about politics, instead posting about a poem which is basically an excuse to inform you she doesn’t read her inspirational stuff from some kindle like you fast living monsters.

I have on my bedside table a few books of blessings, prayers, and poetry for times such as this. They are small and linen-bound, full of comfort and wisdom. The light-filled words inside them give me perspective in times of worry, growth, longing, exhaustion, new beginnings, thanksgiving and despair…

Jenna Cole, voting absolutely, posted some bizarre attempt to sound deep.

All things that die have the potential to feed new life. If we’ll just plant and tend to the seeds, they will grow. I’m thinking about those seeds a lot today. What will be my part in transforming this follow-feeling space into something beautiful in the days ahead?

I assume she meant “fallow” which would still be a questionable use of the word, but whatever. Very profound, much feminist.

And then there’s Cupcakes and Cashmere who (probably wisely) kept politics off her glitter and cake pop filled Home For Glossier Intern Program Rejects. She posted something about “Unexpected Holiday Glam” and then that Alina chick posted about “loving disco fever”.

So, happy post-election Friday! Welcome to the New (Same As Before Just With Different Rich White Men In Charge) America!

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