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Cary Randolph Still Trying Too Hard

Cary Randolph Merovingian Wittenbach Jefferson Walter Fuller, WASP, loves answering reader questions. Especially anonymous questions that always seem to cater to whatever she feels like talking about, or allows her to peddle whatever Ralph Lauren is currently selling.

The other day Cary got another “anonymous” ask message that curiously allowed her to yet again adjust her Hemingway Didion hat:

Anonymous said: favorite smells & textures?

Fantastic question. I love the smells of a man in the morning when he first wakes up, Colonia by Acqua di Parma, gasoline, sea air, Wrigley’s spearmint gum, juniper, an ex-boyfriend’s cashmere sweaters, and iris.

Favorite textures include skin, especially along the clavicle, cut grass underfoot, leather upholstery in a Mercedes-Benz, sea air, his five o’clock shadow, ice on a windshield, and caviar.

….right. She tries so hard to be the high/low of lifestyle WASPing. Honey, you’re only allowed to act this way when you’re rich. Maybe your series of WASPy status boyfriends this summer didn’t tell you that, but I’m sure their sisters might have, had you put down the pose for ten seconds and asked somebody. Please, for your sake, stop trying so hard.

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Jessica Quirk Plans Triumphant Trip To Fashion Week

The internets waits in breathless anticipation no more: Jessica Quirk is coming to Fashion Week.

I was under the impression that tumblr covered hotel/airfare, so does this mean Messica is not included in the tumblr fashion wolfpack this season? Or is tumblr not paying for Rich Tong’s fashion slumber party this time around? Either way we can’t wait to see what awesome coverage Messica provides!

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David Karp Continues To Rocket Towards Unemployment

David Karp, founder of LiveJourmySpaceGeotripod 2.0, is getting a lot of hate on his own creation today.

Evidently stories are going around tumblr of an hourly posting limit, and a new daily limit on asks. Users who attempt to post more than the Great Karp deems appropriate are greeted with this:

The mature and devoted tumblr user base is now busy posting things to tumblr like “david karp why are you making all of these dumb changes”, “Tumblr is disintegrating. Very quickly.”, and “tumblr is getting progressively shittier and shittier. They’ll be lucky if we’re all still here by the end of the year at this rate”.

Why these morons are posting all that crap is a mystery to me. We all know these tumblr wh*res will b***h and moan and keep right on using tumblr. David Karp knows it too. That’s the problem; if you people are really as pissed off and fed up as you say, may I introduce you to LiveJournal or Blogger? Or maybe you can just go back to facebook or twitter? Until people start deleting or abandoning their tumblrs Karp knows he can pretty much get away with effing up whatever he wants and nothing will happen.

Vote with your keyboard, people!

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Bloggers In Real Life: Internet Fiction Versus Real Life Fact?

Here on GOMIBLOG we don’t just like to braid each others’ hair and gossip about other bloggers. We also like to discuss serious issues, like whether anyone actually wears Cynthia Rowley anymore, what constitutes feminism, and the fact that there is often a huge dichotomy between what bloggers present themselves as and who they are in real life.

While some can argue that blogging is a form of performance art and therefor should not be expected to reveal every bald truth about the author, many bloggers try to market themselves as a specific personality. That personality could be glamazon, superdy duperdy nice girl next door, average working woman. But how often does what they put out match who they REALLY are?

We often get emails spilling backstories about popular bloggers, and don’t publish them because doing so might compromise the sender’s privacy. But lately we are getting more comments such as this: “It was pretty sad to see two people who seem so polite and kind on their blog act as spitefully and mean as they acted during the four days I spent around them.” or this: “i have definitely interacted with quite a few bloggers mentioned on her (messica, glamourai, sz, karlas closet, gala darling, etc). some of them…yikes.” So what is the truth?

Do you think bloggers who pitch themselves as a certain character are allowed to be completely different in real life? Or do you think bloggers should be authentic online and off? Is blogging the new acting, the new fiction writing? Or is it a way to actually connect with someone you identify with – and would you feel betrayed if you identified with someone who turned out to be a fraud?

I’m curious to know what you think.

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Bleubird Vintage Hops On Breastfeeding Pic Bandwagon

Bleubird Vintage, bunny renter, is joining Dear Baby and other mommy bloggers in the recent trend of posting breastfeeding pics:

this is the way gemma bird prefers to eat these days. it’s a little strange, yes, but she likes it and i think it’s pretty cute. i still can’t believe that she turns one next weekend. where did this past year go?…

At least we can’t see her baby feeders, so points for taste I guess. I just don’t get this new thing among mommy bloggers at all. A lovely shot of you breastfeeding for the baby album, cool, whatever your thing is. But despite what these women think, the internet is a not a personal scrapbook. It is a public forum anyone can see; and it’s not public as in “breastfeeding on a park bench”; it’s public as in when your kids are 20 these pics of them sucking your tit are still going to be floating around in public somewhere for all and sundry to see.

Once you put pics of your minor children all over the intarwebs you have no control over where they wind up or where they’ll appear in 10 years. What if this kid grows up to be intensely private and introverted and forever resents James, Our Lady of Twee, posting pics of her all over the damn world? Or does it not even matter, because cute baby pics are what keep the sponsors coming?

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20 Best Twenty Continues The Jessica Quirk Comment Deleting

A few of you have been mentioning that 20 Best Twenty – who posted about choosing Jessica Schroeder Quirk as their August “curator” – had a bad time with their comments today. It seems their announcement was greeted with plenty of feedback, but as it was all basically negative, the blog simply deleted them.  I’m not sure exactly what they expected as far as feeback, since Messica is basically now the Julia Allison of the style blogger world; any mention or association with her is bound to attract eyerolls and ‘COME ONs’ from the audience.

Anyway, this isn’t about this 20 Best Twenty blog specifically, but their rabid insta-deleting got me thinking. I get that all blogs have the right to delete any comments they choose, for whatever arbitrary reasons they wish. What I don’t understand is why these blogs enable them at all if they only want a certain type of comment. If you put something up and it gets crapflooded with comments you don’t want, why not just disable comments for that post, or your whole blog? Why irritate people by allowing them to comment, only to delete it moments later?

Not EVERY site needs comments. Some blogs are about putting the info or posts out for consumption, and don’t really benefit one way or the other from a discussion of the contents. What I Wore, for instance, would function much as it does now if the comments were disabled, and probably be less insulting to the readers. In my experience readers would rather not be able to comment at all as opposed to being strictly told what they are allowed to say, or have a comment rejected outright for  reasons they don’t understand.

I wish bloggers would grasp that it is less heartbreak for the admins and the readers if they just disable the comments if they can’t deal with hearing things they don’t like. Whatever happened to “information wants to be free”? When did it become the norm to censor conversations, and why is it ok to do so? How do people who run these sites manage to leave their homes and make it about in the world without being constantly offended?

Comments on the 20 Best post have now been closed, so presumably the admins finally got tired of deleting. I don’t know why they enabled them in the first place without moderation on a post about Messica.

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Jordan Reid Will Shill Things She Doesn’t Try

Jordan Reid, will shill for anything, will shill for anything. She will even shill about a brand of rum while 7 months pregnant!

There’s nothing quite like a rum cocktail to make it feel like summer. Alas, this particular summer isn’t especially rum-soaked for me, but there’s always…rum cake? That’s good, too.

My favorite rum-inclusive beverage is one that I discovered in the Caribbean: to make a Cayman Islands Rum Punch, just mix together 1 oz premium dark rum, 3 oz orange juice, 1 oz pineapple juice, a squeeze of fresh lime, and a splash of grenadine for color (let the grenadine float on the top of the cocktail to create a lovely sunset effect). Garnish with a cherry and/or paper umbrella, and enjoy with your feet planted firmly in the sand (or at least while dreaming of tropical beaches).

We all know Jordan can’t wait to get back to her drinking with the girls, so I guess this shill is just a fluffy piece of daydreaming. But still, shouldn’t she shill review stuff she has actually tried?

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Jessica Quirk Wants To Get Real

Messica Quirk, the “best friend or neighbor” of fashion blogging, had herself a relaxing Sunday posing in fields. No doubt she is keeping it chill to rest up for her continuing What I Want Book Tour and the rapidly approaching Fashion Week festivities.

Let’s be real. I don’t usually get so dressed up on a Sunday afternoon, but over the weekend, I upgraded my camera from a Canon Rebel XSI to a Canon 7D.  I knew the first outfit pictures I took with it would be this afternoon and I wanted ‘em to be pretty.  I also bought a new shirt at the mall. New shirt + new camera = inspiration.  Adam and I spent most of the early afternoon driving around (and off on side roads) of Highway 46 going east looking for a pretty back drop. We wanted to make a day of hanging out in Columbus, IN, but almost everything was closed and we couldn’t find any antique stores…

Hey we can keep it real here too! In fact, here are a few “real” tidbits from emails sent to us by Messica acquaintances:

  • Messica is known as “ruthless” for her ability to “completely and selfishly screw” people over for her own benefit.
  • Her rant about women being “catty b***hes, especially when fighting over one man’s attention” is, as suspected, based on HER. For years she apparently went after any man anywhere, whether they were in a relationship or not (one email described it as “quite blatant”). One woman says her boyfriend at the time informed her of Messica trying to give him her phone number even after he said he was taken. And she wonders why other women “generally don’t like me that much”!
  • Supposedly she has a pretty snotty attitude with sponsors, feeling her pageviews and her self-proclaimed status as the first ever daily outfit blog (a former acquaintance claims “she was constantly complaining about not getting more attention for being the inventor of daily outfit post blogging”) entitle her to the rates she demands.
  • Supposedly those “back home” friends from the old days are laughing behind their hands at Messica’s return to IN. Apparently she was not so subtly smug during past visits home from OMG NEW YORK CITY about her fame and success in the big city. Now friends “cannot imagine for one minute who [she] thinks she’s fooling” with her manic Indiana is the best ever posts, since basically ”she is back to shopping at Target like the rest of us”.

There’s much, much more, but any more detailed stories might give away identities. We do tend to hear a lot of the same kinds of stories over and over again, however, even from various people who have most likely never met. Then again we all know she’s changed since she found Quirk! I’m sure she’s way nice now!

So until she has another totally awesome book party we can scratch our heads over, enjoy this installment of being real!

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    Sklarge She Knows The Hair

    @caro it’s because of your professional-looking hair. ;)
    2 hours ago via Siftee

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    Blind Item Time!

    What Tribune Media “columnist” has no idea that behind the scenes, steps are being taken to end her contract? If contract loopholes can’t be found it has been decided she will “not be renewed, under any circumstances. She is rapidly becoming a joke because she is still not attracting syndication”.

    What blogger is coming under fire on tumblr thanks to her blogging about her job as a nanny and then publicly blogging her transition from nanny to mistress of the children’s father?

    What wannabe mommy blogger regularly posts about herr sadness in having to soon return to work after giving birth, but secretly intends to quit soon after “trying for a month or so, just to save face”?

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    LoveLifeLace Enjoys Country Living

    Twatiana and her Betamale husband are settling into their free forest shack nicely. At least it appears that way, but who can ever tell what the truth is with this chick. She could be one valium refill away from a breakdown for all we know, but that won’t stop her from producing the most irritatingly upbeat thing since the shopping montage in “Xanadu”:

    Kevin’s new role as a teacher is fantastic for many reasons.
    First of all teaching is what he loves to do.
    Second, it sits in the middle of one of the most beautiful valleys I have ever seen.
    Lastly, it is adjacent to a farm – the schoolmaster’s farm.
    And so while Kevin laid out plans for his classes this week
    I donned my boots and made the ten minute trek over to the farmhouse.
    There was a thick mist in the air from the rain that fell that afternoon…
    My boots were covered in mud in no time.
    And as I took in all the smells – the chickens, the manure, the hay in bundles on the ground…
    I realized I was home.
    I realized that this is what I’ve been searching for all my life.
    The moment I am in nature, surrounded by animals my soul is instantly at peace.
    I feel like all extraneous things fall away and you are left with…
    Life in it’s purest form.
    This is happy.
    This is peace.
    This is…
    it.

    What is with her centered, one line writing now? Anyway, we are sure to be treated to tons of posts talking about how she feels just like Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” or a woodland fairy and pics of her reading in the forest after a picnic. She’s so happy! Life is perfect! Piggies just like Winnie the Pooh!

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    Jordan Reid Is Ready To Party

    Jordan Reid, pregnant, cannot wait to get that fetus out of her so she can get back to important life activities:

    While being a bit of a homebody feels natural and good right now, I have to admit: I’m sort of looking forward to that night a few months down the line when I can head out to a restaurant with some girlfriends…and then stay out. Past nine. And then maybe go…I don’t know…dancing. The lifestyle changes that come along with pregnancy and motherhood are necessary, and exciting in and of themselves, but sometimes you just need a whiskey with the ladies, am I right? … This is all to say I really don’t have many places to wear slinky black dresses lately. But this hyper-sexy jersey number was the perfect time to tackle the challenge of how to take a nighttime dress into twilight-time using the right accessories.

    Poor Jordan. At a time when most women are worried about remaining relevant at their jobs during maternity leave, working on finding a child minder for their return to work (and how they will pay for that), and updating their wills and insurance policies, Jordan is concerned about how to remain sexy and dreaming about how soon she can pawn the baby off on full-time job Kenny and go out and drink/smoke/dance her way back to her pre-baby weight. What a tough life.

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    #SwapStories: What Are Your Fave Messica Moments?

    While Messica comes down from the high of being essentially ignored at a clothing swap, I’m debating which sneakers are more fetch for drinking a thermos of margaritas on the Brooklyn Bridge. Since I’ll obviously be busy for the next hour doing that, and because we have so many new guests here to GOMIBLOG, I thought I’d open the floor.

    So, what is the most classic What I Want Messica moment? What post or comment finally drove you around the bend? If you no longer read WIW (or are reading less),  was there a reason it began to lose its appeal? If you know Messica in real life, is she really as obnoxious as her blogs make her sound?

    Let’s have our own swap!

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