Internets Lifestyle Blogging

That Wife Continues To Transform Into Amazing Tech Woman

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Jenna Cole, struggling to understand JavaScript, has managed somehow to figure out Manic Panic.

Now that I know I can do a passable job putting it in myself, I can have pink hair all the time!

As part of her Mumspringa journey Jenna has been doing the usual radical hair changes and alcohol. The nose stud piercing and Pinteresty feminism tattoos are sure to come next, probably around the time she finally makes HELLO WORLD appear and declares herself the millenial Grace Hopper.

But first she needs to pout about how hard coding is and then lean in to some feminist cookies.

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Internets WTF

Momastery Will Heal You With Her Lap

Saint Glennon, of the mystical lap healer tribe of Bloglandia, attended a conference Friday, during which her special powers were called upon.

I spoke at the Momentous Institute conference today–to a room full of mental health professionals…Afterward, this precious reader came over to my table and laid her head in my lap. She was just having a hard time and needed some comfort. We sat like this for the rest of the morning…

This story was accompanied by a picture of Glennon showing that silly Pope Francis how healing is really done.

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The moment is being hailed as “beautiful”, “brave”, “kind”, and various other words that do not sound like “did anyone maybe ask this lady if she would like to speak with one of the mental health professionals in attendance”.

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Internets Mommy Blogging

In Case You Forgot, Pictures Of Your Kids Aren’t Safe On The Intarwebs

In news that shocked pretty much nobody with a brain, Australia’s new Children’s eSafety Commissioner has warned parents that their innocent social media photos of their kids have been found on deep web photo sharing sites.

Tens of millions of photos of children doing everyday activities and posted on popular sites such as Facebook, Kik, and Instagram have been found by investigators looking into complaints about child abuse material online.

The stolen material is organized into groups named things like ”My daughter’s Instagram friends” and ”nice boys play in river”. Commissioner Alastair MacGibbon says ”photos of children originally posted on social media and family blogs account for up to half the material found on some paedophile image-sharing sites”. Susan McLean of Cybersafety Solutions added a final thought.

“If you are a voracious user of social media…If you live your life vicariously through your kids online and you use photo-sharing sites and hashtags, you have to got to understand that that photo is worth something to someone else and it may not be for a purpose you like.”

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Ramshackle Glam’s New Store Just As “Uhhhhh” As You’d Expect

Jordan Reid, still waiting for that second book to come out, has apparently hooked up with another blogger to start some kind of store. It’s called “glam | camp” and on their rambling, wtf filled About page, they say it’s “the kind of place that you go into hoping to find something for your best friend or your co-worker’s new baby, and then end up kind of wanting to buy everything for yourself”.

You’ve met us before: we’re the proprietors of that store down the alley who talk way too much, telling you stories about how those candles were hand-dipped by a guy who lives in the mountains and sustains himself on nothing but aloe leaves and whiskey, and then ask you to come hang at the cafe down the street and drink some coffee with us because really, we should probably be friends.

Because we all love THAT kind of store, where the owner won’t stfu and just let you pay for your artisan soaps and go home where there are people you actually do want to talk to. Delightful. Anyway the shop is apparently selling cactus stuff and overpriced etsy-esque home stuff and jewelry, including a necklace to repel internet trolls. It’s all very eh merchandise but at least she’s branching out from affiliate linked flooded posts about lip balm and purses. So there’s that.

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Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Camp Patton Poofs Blog, Sea Of Shoes Changes Hair, That Wife Is A Ladycoder

Here’s a few meh news bits while the internets is being boring.

Camp Patton has set her blog private. It looks like her instagram is still up, and she says she has “shut it down for the time being” and is “just taking some safety precautions, hope to maybe be back one day”.

Fashion blahg fanpoodles are flipping out over Jane Aldridge’s new hair. Since the flaming mop was sort of her signature it will be interesting to see if she remains the recognizable Sea of Shoes icon that shot to pseudofame after going from dirty blonde to red all those years ago.

Jenna Cole, future software engineer, is evidently doing some coder bootcamp thing. She is documenting her game changing skillz on a github “blog” and it’s basically the most amazing thing ever.

I assume everyone is out getting PSLs and curating photos of sweater wearing while throwing leaves in the air, because this is all I could dig up for now. Sort of a womp womp start to the week, eh?

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Internets Mommy Blogging

Dooce Will Bravely Post Soul Sucking Sponsored Content

Dooce, irrelevant, evidently went to the Problogger event and “told the audience how soul destroying it was to do sponsored posts”. She told people who had paid to come and wanted to hear the “Queen of Mommyblogging” talk about how to monetize a blog that the “only way that you can make money in the States is through sponsored content”. She then proceeded to call writing sponsored posts ”a gruelling experience” and declared personal blogging dead.

While at Problogger, where she complained about doing sponsored posts, she bravely confronted the soul sucking task of posting what appears to be a sponsored Target instagram. She then went home where she faced the gruelling experience of writing a sponsored Target post for her dead personal blog.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Christian Leggings Blogger Being Sued Because Of Some Trees

Veronica Partridge, the blogger who refuses to inspire lust in men with her yoga pants, is apparently being sued for cutting down some trees. Evidently she bought some property in Oregon, and according to the lawsuit proceeded to chop down six “ancient” juniper trees on someone else’s property in order to get “unobstructed views” of some mountains.

Nash kept about 20 acres of undeveloped land to the west of the property that she sold the Partridges. Some months after closing the sale, however, Nash was visiting her property when she discovered at least six large juniper trees had been cut…The Partridges didn’t ask Nash for permission — and the trees are clearly on Nash’s property, McGean said.

Her blog has now gone private. There is no word on what she was wearing while the trees were cut down.

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Internets

Gala Darling Book Picked Up By Publisher

Gala Darling, ask her about her “best selling book”, has revealed the reason her self-published tree funeral was only available for one month.

I am delighted to announce that the reason for the short run of my book is that Radical Self Love has been acquired by Hay House! I am so thrilled to become a member of the esteemed Hay House Family!

Saying “it all happened because I believed in my message enough to do something about it” Gala goes on to offer more plates of woo to her hungry followers by claiming “Whatever you want to do, you can do. Just start. Stop waiting for perfect conditions: there is no such thing!” She then aimed her pink glitter gun at their faces and told them they “can have and do whatever you want” before getting back to selling them classes.

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Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

‘Stiletto Me Up’ Charged With Extortion

Egreis Gjergjani, the blogger behind Stiletto Me Up, has apparently been charged with extortion and witness tampering in Orange County, FL.

The crux of the charges seems to be that her stepmother noticed “suspicious activity” on her credit report and “suspected” “Shoe Queen” Egreis was responsible. The stepmother filed two reports with the police about her suspicions. The stepmother alleges that at this point, Eggy called her stepmother and said her father had sent her a sex tape of himself and the stepmother, and if the stepmother didn’t drop all the charges, Eggy would release the tape on the internet.

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After repeated questions on her instagram, she finally made a statement about the matter.

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She also apparently made other statements on instagram claiming this was “nothing but retaliation” for her father filing for divorce from her stepmother.

Egreis was arrested and shortly after posted bail. She then apparently went out to shop and post gramworthy pics of herself at a mall or something.

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Internets WTF

TTC Communities In Uproar Over Kirbywillow Scam

PCOS and TTC online community members were apparently hit hard this week when one of their own, known as “kirbywillow”, became ill, requiring lung surgery and then lapsing into a coma. Her ‘warrior sisters’ stepped up, starting hashtag after hashtag urging each other to pray for Kirby. Reports came that Kirby was battling ‘broken heart syndrome‘ which is supposed to be a real thing. She apparently came out of her coma briefly. But alas news came Monday that Kirby had died.

Unfortunately for Kirby her IRL friends evidently didn’t get the ‘I’m Dead On The Internet’ memo and began responding to inquiries of where to send flowers and baked goods with a weird bit of news.

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That’s right – “kirbywillow” allegedly just “needed to get off social media”. Rather than saying “hey guys I need a break” and locking things up for a while, she created an elaborate tale of sudden failing health – and then she Ghost Bev’d.

People are now venting their anger in piles of instagram posts that “kirby” will presumably never see and probably doesn’t give a crap about, what with being internet dead and all. I just don’t see how this self created fan fiction spinning and instagram updating was easier than saying ‘hey dawgs, adios for a while, the kirbmeister needs a break’ and locking things down for a month. But I guess that doesn’t get you much attention, does it?

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Travel Bloggers Confess Their Instagram Is Mostly Lies

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Claire and Laura, apparently twins who blog about travel, have put up a post explaining their aspiration filled travelgram is a reality that “doesn’t exist”. Saying “it’s time to set the record straight…and suggest that in reality, Instagram means living a lie”, the twins listed all the reasons you need to stop assuming they are wealthy globetrotters just because that’s what they suggest on their social media.

Saying their lives have been “pretty messy this year and it’s been far from a series of glamorous holidays and care-free travels”, they nevertheless continued posting breathtaking travel photos because obviously real life can’t be allowed to “get in the way of that ‘i’m so carefree and happy’ attitude that dominates Instagram.”

And though their blog and gram portray a fabulous life full of expensive looking, glamour soaked travel, the twins assure us they “work full-time and juggle mortgages with fairly concerning shopping addictions” and promise their lives are “far from glamorous, wealthy or perfect”.

Moral of this post? Remember, when you see that photo of a beautiful beach, we’re probably loading it up as we clean the toilet or are lying in bed trying to wake up. Reality bites.

So basically they are no better than Zilla? I guess I’m just super confused as to the point of this post. I mean…thanks for the honesty, but if bloggers want to portray an expensive looking fabulous lifestyle on the intarwebs it seems a bit disingenuous to get all defensive when people come to the conclusion that they are, indeed, living an expensive and fabulous lifestyle. If you don’t want strangers to assume your curated life is your real life then maybe don’t show strangers only a curated life?

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Internets

Hey Natalie Jean Is Moving Back To Idaho

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Hey Natalie Jean, has a loft in Brooklyn, is apparently leaving Brooklyn.

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The Holbrooks are moving back to Moscow, Idaho.
BECAUSE THAT IS JUST HOW THE UNIVERSE LIKES TO PLAY ME

In a totally believable statement she claims she is “giddy with excitement” right after opining that “Brooklyn I am not done with you!…Tub? Are you going to sit there and let this happen?” Natalie goes on to say she is “soooo getting chickens this time” and “a goat!!!!!!!”

Since about 95% of her online persona/identity is wrapped up in her omgbrooklynloft and being a Brooklyn hipster creative I look forward to seeing what persona she takes on after her move.

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Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Bloggers Rush To Snapchat As Monetization Begins

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ShopStyle recently announced a “Snap Hub” in an attempt to help bloggers monetize their Snapchat posts, and suddenly everyone is joining the social media platform because money. Some, like Love Taza, don’t seem 100% into it yet; Naomi announced her account by saying she is “trying [it] out for a little while although I’m still not totally sold on it all”. But fashion bloggers are already starting to sign up and shove snapstyle affiliate linking onto their followers, directing them to the ShopStyle hubs to “shop my look”.

There is no word on whether RewardStyle – the affiliate link behemoth that helped turn instagram into a liketoknowit link graveyard – is working on a similar program. Maybe now that Periscope is picking up speed RS may skip Snapchat altogether and go for monetization of live streaming video. Because everyone knows every social media platform ever anywhere must be monetized, and it’s all about who provides that capability first.

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