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It's one of those days when you tell your #littles to get ready for school and they just fiddlefart around putting their feet in their mouths. Some #Mondays, am I right? #serenitynow #patiencelord #blessed #letthembelittle
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Over the New Year Hey Natalie Jean, former blogger, posted a strange update to instagram stories. Just a year and a half after being dragged to Idaho by Mr. Natalie Jean she posted a burning list with what looked like a claim that she was “dumped by my husband”.
Amber, moved to New York City for ‘exciting projects‘, has announced their ‘time in NYC is over’. They are ‘building a home in Arizona near family’ but since they are ‘doing a custom home we have a while til it’s done’. They have ‘decided to come to Hawaii for 6 or so months’ until Castle Numbskull is completed.
Richard, replacement huswolf of untouchable internet saint Emily, has posted another emotional belching. On our second episode of As The Stomach Churns, Dickie shares a scene in which his two year old stepchild tells him “Daddy, I miss Daddy-Martin.”
She told me she would like a hug. This made me smile. When I smiled, she smiled some too. I made a happier face at her, and she gave me her big classic Lydia smile…Then I looked back to see Lydia crying again. When our eyes met, she gave a big smile again. This time as I looked back to the others, my attention stayed on her, and I watched out of the corner of my eye as her face fell again, and tears started to flow as if she hadn’t smiled at all. When my eyes returned to hers with my full attention, it brought another smile, but then her face again fell as I looked away. She seemed in limbo, stuck between happy and sad…Having had a few hours now to think about this, things are ok. Little Lydia returned to her happy place, and is now sound asleep.
It’s ok, Huswolf Dickie has sort of got this because he has done the whole “move in with a cancer stricken family and play daddy” thing before.
‘Dad’ wasn’t doing well, and I moved in eventually to help more consistently. For a year I lived and breathed family life in many aspects, and learned a lot. Cancer is hard. But it also means a lot of opportunities for growing. And the kids all handled things in different ways. It was a very special time for me…
Icky savior-complex vibes, anyone? He concludes with a weird list of goals including eating more chocolate chips, and says “while today wasn’t perfect, and *I* couldn’t stem Lydia’s tears completely, tomorrow, I want to make sure she smiles more”. Yeah, Lids, get over your dead Daddy-Martin already! Daddywolf needs “more smiling faces”!
Emily, untouchable internet saint, has been hard at work getting her family/lifestyle blogging back on track. Since installing Replacement Huswolf she has made many attempts to show she has moved on from the loss of her first husband. Now she defies all laws of good taste by presenting her 2016 “family holiday cards” – in a sponsored post, no less.
I was looking forward to the traditional family card of course, but then because we’ve had many friends ask for photos of Richard and I, we decided it was the perfect opportunity to order some newlywed/marriage announcement cards as well. I’m beyond happy with how they turned out, and I love having something to help our favorite people share in our exciting new chapter.
She then raves about how awesome her sponsor is and what great quality the cards are before concluding with a thank your to the photographer and asking “Can I get a high-five? haha” for getting her holiday cards out in mid-November.
The Momastery show rolls on, and in her continuing efforts to copy Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon has now announced she is in love with a woman.
After I told Craig, the first thing he said was: Holy shit. Is this what all the Indigo Girls has been about? I said, WHOA. I DON’T KNOW…MAYBE?
Indigo Girls? Seriously?
Of course Glennon, being the famehound she is, couldn’t just fall in love with a brutiful teacher or accountant or lap disciple. She had to find someone famous.
Her name is Abby. You might recognize her from soccer. She was one of the best players of all time…
Since Ellen is no longer available, Glennon decided to suddenly “get” what love is all about by attaching herself to soccer star Abby Wambach. Now don’t worry about the kids – Glennon says the kids, parents, and their girlfriends “have family dinners together – all six of us — and Abby cooks.” Then she tells her monkeys in semi-vague terms that she no longer gives any fingercuffs what they want or what they think.
It has been my job for so long as a leader in this community to care deeply about what you think and feel about me and the way I live my life…And now it is my job as a leader not to concern myself too deeply about what you think and feel about me- about the way I live my life.
She concludes by saying they have “decided that we’re going to keep a whole lot of us private” and assuring everyone she is “deeply, finally, FINE…JOY! I’m so happy.”
In case you hadn’t heard, America had an election Tuesday and despite bloggers’ instagram and snapchat campaigns, Trump made it to the Oval. Now most bloggers are coping the only way they know how – publicly.
Jordan Reid at Ramshackle Glam, known for her intellectual think pieces, can’t seem to get back on track.
As a writer, I have no idea how to return to my regular schedule of cute shoes and funny parenting stories, or how to sit down today and start moving through to a to-do list that includes such imperatives as “start compiling holiday gift guide,” and “post flat-lay to IG.”
She has apparently rallied with a new post about an “action plan” that is basically her informing us how super involved she is in her community and btw did you know she has battled anxiety for decades. She then suggests you go sign a change.org petition “calling upon the Electoral College to fix this” and tells you to go donate to a bunch of things. Because if having a tantrum doesn’t work, throw money at the problem. That’s the rich American white girl way!
I can’t bring myself to say much today, I’m still in a state of shock, so I’m just going to post my outfit.
The instagram prairie mamas are either silent or pushing an agenda of quiet acceptance and hugs – the typical resigned-smile, everything-will-be-fine position that hetero suburban sahms of comfortable means can easily afford to embrace. Mama Watters doesn’t want to talk about politics, instead posting about a poem which is basically an excuse to inform you she doesn’t read her inspirational stuff from some kindle like you fast living monsters.
I have on my bedside table a few books of blessings, prayers, and poetry for times such as this. They are small and linen-bound, full of comfort and wisdom. The light-filled words inside them give me perspective in times of worry, growth, longing, exhaustion, new beginnings, thanksgiving and despair…
All things that die have the potential to feed new life. If we’ll just plant and tend to the seeds, they will grow. I’m thinking about those seeds a lot today. What will be my part in transforming this follow-feeling space into something beautiful in the days ahead?
I assume she meant “fallow” which would still be a questionable use of the word, but whatever. Very profound, much feminist.
And then there’s Cupcakes and Cashmere who (probably wisely) kept politics off her glitter and cake pop filled Home For Glossier Intern Program Rejects. She posted something about “Unexpected Holiday Glam” and then that Alina chick posted about “loving disco fever”.
So, happy post-election Friday! Welcome to the New (Same As Before Just With Different Rich White Men In Charge) America!
Amber Clark, the blogger famous for her ratty blonde hair and towering intellect, like, found a lump in her breast. She made the announcement via snapchat through the licking dog filter. She explained that it’s like, a huge lump in like, her breast, but it’s like, been there for months so like, she just now went and had it checked out but like, they think it’s benign. At this point her husband David pops in to let snapchat know he told Amber they could just cut it out there at home because like, their copay is like, way high.
Amber rambled on through a few more snaps about how she thought it was just a nursing duct issue even though the lump like, changed the shape of her breast. But like, they said it’s probably nothing so like, sorry for getting you all upset!
Let’s thank Amber for reminding her followers that it’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and that no matter how young you are you should always bring up changes to your body with your GP as soon as possible. Oh wait, she didn’t do any of that? Well what the f*** was the point then???
Here’s to a great new week…I’m seeing such positive changes everywhere, for the kids especially. The future feels so bright, but every day holds so much enthusiasm for them.
What-the-Fox? Didn’t their father JUST DIE? Like 3 months ago? Anyway, her goals for the next week include “wearing more than shades of black and gray” and “filming some family videos” – presumably by “family” she means her spanking new husband and her kids.
And in case it’s not clear that getting back to being a happy family lifestyle blogger just can’t happen fast enough for Emmy, she concludes by asking “what type of posts I haven’t shared in awhile that you’d personally like to see come back”. Yep, that reset button has been smacked and we all just need to get back to hair tutorials and instagram dumps and affiliate links. At least she seems to be shutting down the fundraisers finally, so, there’s that.
…I’m ready to share some news that I’ve been keeping to myself for the last little while. I’m ready to introduce you to Richard…When I became engaged to Martin, Richard and I parted ways as friends. We didn’t reconnect until very recently, and things started moving fast between us. We had grown so close all those years ago, and were very much able pick up where we’d left off.
Her late husband’s family seems less than thrilled about the whole thing, with family members who attempt to comment on her instagram allegedly being deleted and blocked. One finally took to facebook to make their side heard in a now deleted post.
Opponents of the rapid remarriage are calling it “gross”, “shady af”, “disrespectful”, and “Just. Nuts.”
Neely Moldovan, of Polito v. Moldovan fame, might want to hurry up and decorate that nursery while she still has money left. She and her husband, who last year went viral with their tales of drama concerning wedding photographer Andrea Polito, lost their appeal last month and things seem to be sliding straight into Craptown for the couple. A post by Brian Mullins states:
…Andrea and APP are waiting for a new court date to be set as the Appellate court decision to throw out the motion to dismiss has cleared the way for the lawsuit to proceed. The original cap of $1 million dollars no longer applies and the court can choose to award any monetary amount for punitive damages.
The author says this case should leave people “absolutely gutted that over a misunderstanding of $125, the clients and media felt it was okay to absolutely torch a business” simply to ““settle the score” through the ever elusive “viral” story”.
Andrea Polito is evidently moving on professionally – the post claims she is “finalizing a book which not only talks about what happened and how she dealt with the social shaming, but how she not only kept her head above water during a very difficult time”, and says she has “a few speaking engagements lined up to discuss how social shaming has affected her and how to move forward.”
Brisbane’s Mode Media has abruptly shut down, leaving bloggers unpaid, investors frustrated and rumors swirling in its wake…The company, a publisher of lifestyle sites and operator of an ad network which placed big brands’ campaigns on smaller websites, told investors and employees Thursday that it was closing its doors after failing to find a buyer or line up financing.
Bloggers are naturally furious, most claiming they haven’t been paid and demanding to know wtf happened. They have created a twitter hashtag #ModeOwesBloggers, and started a Facebook group to try and figure out what to do next. One blogger insists it’s not about the money, while saying “it’s the time I spent putting these campaigns together. I invested a lot of my own money into creating the content, all the while thinking, it’s OK because I can put it back into my savings soon…” Another blogger explained why the closing is a blow for bloggers who were tied to the Mode Media ad network.
If you were part of the ad network…you were tied to an exclusivity contract for at least a year and couldn’t be a part of any other networks…which hurts like hell now for some bloggers because not only did Mode close without notice, they were months behind in payment.
There are some who think the closing should come as no suprise – over a month ago Dianna Mullins posted a “Farewell Letter” to Medium hinting at possible problems.
Ego must be put aside. The vision must be for the good of the whole never just for the individual. If competing visions and misalignment occurs at the core level with this team, it is imperative that issues be resolved quickly. The company must come first, even if it means breaking up the entity into smaller parts, to allow each to find its path. Some may succeed, others may fail, but this ensures the entire entity does not fall.
While some panic over what this “might signify for the blogging industry” others are rushing to remind everyone that possible mismanagement at one company does not spell doom for the blog advertising structure as a whole.
Lauren, of Southern Elle Style which is apparently some kind of wannabe lifestyle blog, posted a moving tribute in honor of the events of 15 years ago. Holding a mug inscribed with the word “Joy” and pigeon toeing while sitting down, Lauren proceeds to tell the world she is
Extremely and utterly exhausted from yesterday, but I can only imagine how many people felt like that and worse, 15 years ago and still today. Can’t wait to see how they honor the fallen and heroes, today at the Cowboys game…
Bloggers: if there is ever a day to not make about yourself, this might be it. Please just…don’t.