Internets Lifestyle Blogging

imogene + willie Founders Being Accused Of Fraud

imogene + willie, the selvedge denim darlings of the Nashville instagram hipster set, seems to be having some problems with their finances. Investors accuse the Eddmensons of using company money to “support a lavish lifestyle of personal indulgence” rather than “developing a wholesale business”.

In court papers, Celia Hughes, Imogene + Willie’s former chief financial officer, said the company’s accounting books contained many “red flags.”…She cited a $10,000 motorcycle, spa trips and home renovations such as a new bath, doors, furnishings and window treatments as examples of the Eddmensons’ mismanagement of company funds.

Matt Eddmenson’s personal instagram does feature a lot of motorcycles, so who knows. Anyway, apparently the latest financial statements show “61 percent of Imogene + Willie’s roughly $224,000 in bills are 90 days past due” and Robert Lamey and Paige Heid, the largest creditors of the company, are trying to force the company into chapter 11 bankruptcy  ”using an involuntary petition”.

So maybe pretty soon Jordana and Bleubird will have to find a new brand of status jeans run by a new hipster couple they can glom onto and instagram tag.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Momastery Wants To Protect Her New Friend

Glennon Doyle Melton, bruti-full-of-it, posted this weekend about a new special friend.

And here is the interesting thing about how I feel introducing her to you here, about bringing my new beloved friend to this space. I feel nervous. I feel so protective of her. Because sometimes it feels like we have guidelines for how we respect each other but we throw them right out the window when it comes to celebrities…I want my friend to be safe here with us just like you are safe here with us.

To honor that protective feeling Glennon wrote a long detailed essay about her “new friend”. Her “new friend’s name is Oprah”, and they didn’t just record a segment for Oprah’s television channel. They have been “corresponding a bit” via email. They “make each other laugh” and call each other “God’s Girl”. She has a celebrity friend, and she will be protective of that celebrity friend by telling you about the decor of her celebrity friend’s home and tell you about their family dinner, about how they “prayed together”.

Let us all praise Saint Lap for her discretion and class in protecting her celebrity friend. You see, “Names are so important.” Especially when they’re worthy of being dropped to increase your own brand’s profile.

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Lifestyle Blogging Slow News Day

Momastery Wants Your Constant Loving Gaze

Glennon, of Saint Lap fame, has expressed her gratitude and humility after an event with her worshipful lapostles. Oh wait, no she didn’t – she just wants everyone everywhere to have the palpitating fangirl slobbers when they look at her.

wtfglennon

Some bloggers never do get over themselves, I guess.

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Lifestyle Blogging Slow News Day

Old Joy Possibly Leaving The House That Made Her Popular

Old Joy, one of the top four ‘white walls and babies’ instagram clones (other members include Mama Watters, Amelia, and Burtsbrisplease), announced she and her family are leaving the gram palace that helped shoot her to popularity.

She addressed the move in a series of snapchats yesterday, saying “people are asking where we’re moving, and the truth is we have no idea” before going on to explain that the reason for the move is they “found out while we were on vacation that my husband lost his job”.

Basically we are terrified…we have no idea what the future’s going to hold…

She went on to reveal they are selling her husband’s record collection and added “real life isn’t glamorous, real life is scary…but everything’s gonna be ok”.

The announcement sparked questions over whether the faux prairie mama bubble is bursting, and highlights the shaky reality of a trendy ‘perfect life’ as seen through a gram filter.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Jenna Made A “Mistake”

Jenna Cole, the playground flask mom, put up another vaguewhine instagram about how hard she has it as a “solo parent”. In the comments of her post she began gassing about feminism and being a career woman vs. raising kids, because she seems to think she is the expert voice of our time on anything #upwithwomen. Eventually she dropped this amazing conclusion:

I should have done a whole lot more personal reflection before a made the huge commitment to have kids! A mistake my kids will hear a lot about and hopefully they won’t feel the same

Those #blessed children. They have years of their tub vaping, day drinking mom telling them she made a mistake having them and being told not to make the same choice while she’s smugging around the internet about what a great sobrave solo mom she is. Happy weekend, everyone!

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Lifestyle Blogging

Living Absolutely Thinks Weed Should Be Normalized Just Like Abortion

Jenna Cole, normalizing day drinking, wants you to “make use of your privilege” by helping her legalize marijuana. In her latest post she takes on the justice system for penalizing non-white non-upper-middle-class-SAHMs merely for enjoying the cheeb.

…27.6 percent of drug offenders were locked up for crimes related to marijuana…Many, I would argue most, were participating in an act no worse than anything I’ve done – possessing marijuana. Except I’m white, and I had $60 in cash to pay for 5 minutes with a weed doctor in exchange for a “medical marijuana card” and I can afford to choose an employment position that doesn’t do drug testing.

She then took her reasoning to facebook, where she claimed that “normalizing” marijuana use would be a main decider for legalization. When readers argued that it probably had more to do with states wanting that sweet sweet taxable money from legal regulation, she took the discussion in a weird direction.

Let’s compare this to…. abortion. If more women spoke openly about their abortions, do you think that would accelerate public opinion toward unrestricted access to safe and legal abortions. This is a move that some feminist groups are working at right now, to change public opinion on a political issue via normalization. Do you also think this is not effective?

Well, DO YOU? Ok, I sort of see where she’s trying to go with this, but the analogy doesn’t really work here. Access to safe medical terminations for all women is not really the same thing as Jenna wanting to be “one step closer to getting high on vacation”. But keep on looking for ways to remind us you’re a stoner now, Jenjen.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Neely Is Pregnant

Neely somebody, that blogger who is basically only known for slamming her wedding photographer, has announced she and her goblin husband are expecting.

Andrew and I are overjoyed to announce that baby BOY Moldovan will be joining our family in February. It’s been quite the journey to get here but we feel beyond blessed to be this little guys parents! #MiniMoldovan #OurMiracle

I really want to care about this but I don’t. Honestly doubt anyone else does either. All I can think is ‘sympathy ploy in the lawsuit game’. But hey, good job locking down your pregnancy hashtag!

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Jordan Reid Will Overcome, Joins Snapchat

Jordan Reid, brave and feministy, has posted a new ramshackle ramble explaining why she has finally joined snapchat. She begins by explaining she’s like SO behind on technology, for reals, you don’t even know ok.

Twenty or so years later, my manager and I were sitting together at lunch and she took my phone from me and physically downloaded Instagram from the app store, because despite the fact that most of my colleagues had signed up a solid two years earlier, I would never, ever have done it otherwise.

I have never owned an iPod, and am still sort of confused about which device people’s music resides on these days (…the cloud, perhaps?). I’ve never taken the three seconds required to figure out how to reliably link my car’s Bluetooth to my phone. I still use MapQuest.

At first she implies it’s because she is such a too-cool rebel, saying “if you tell me something is “the new thing everyone is doing,” that will result in me very much not wanting to do it”, and if you make her do it she “will whine. And still not do it”. But like everything else with Jojo there is a first-world-problems story from her tween years that is the root of whatever problem she’s having.

She proceeds to blather on and on and on about some story from sixth grade – yep, roughly 25 years ago Jordan bought saddle shoes the day after the Cool Girl in sixth grade declared them so last week, and this has caused Jordy all the anxiety ever about showing up late to trends…or something. And she had to share this story in order to announce her bravery in overcoming this fear and joining snapchat.

Yeeeeah. Never has a blogger deserved more #sobrave hashtags.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Khloe Kardashian ‘Flowergate’ Reaches Peak WTF

Khloe Kardashian, of the talented and classy Kardashian family, got tongues wagging Wednesday when she instagram vagueposted about a pile of flowers.

Screen Shot 2016-07-06 at 11.50.20 PM

The Daily Mail, which is sort of like CNN but for celebrity bikini pictures, quickly broke the news that Khloe had posted omgflowrz and speculated about whether they are from some guy she’s rumored to be dating.

Screen Shot 2016-07-06 at 11.57.00 PM

The problem is, neither Khloe nor the DM seem to be aware that the pic contains the best known sink on instagram.

Screen Shot 2016-07-06 at 11.50.54 PM

Yep – that pic is an old one posted last year by the Million Dolla Skalla, Ms. Rach Parcell of Pink Peonies. She’s known for herflowers in the sinkpics. The roses have nothing to do with Khloe Kardashian or that Trey person.

I know this is kind of a non-story but the whole thing is so absurd I had to share.

Update: About an hour after this post went live the Daily Mail updated their post to say “eagle eyed fans spotted” that the image “was taken from another Instagram account” and that she “borrowed the snap of the beautiful arrangement from clothing designer Rachel Parcell’s Instagram”.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Cup Of Jo Adds Another Jo Clone To Staff

Jo Goddard, Shakespeare expert, has finally found a new editor for her yawn farm, ‘Cup of Jo‘. To the surprise of nobody  the new hire is yet another skinny white brunette Brooklyn type. When commenters responded with some bewilderment that Jo hired just another Jo Clone, she replied that she is totes going to hire some diversity.

we’re hoping to hire another person later this year, and we have some great new freelancers of different races, ethnicities and sexual orientations, so please stay tuned!

Look, let’s be honest: Cup of Jo isn’t really a site targeted towards chubby wage-job having Latinas living in Orlando. It’s pretty clearly an upper middle class thin white ‘creative’ Brooklyn lady site. So I don’t even know wtf she would accomplish forcing diversity into her brand, other than getting buttpats for trying.

But hey, take that, complainers! Or something. I’m not even sure what she means by this. So she’s going to actively TRY to hire in some diversity now that people have commented on her fleet of Jos? I dunno, maybe it’s just me but it kind of smacks of tokenism to suddenly announce you’ll be bringing on “different races, ethnicities and sexual orientations” after your readers bring up your lack thereof.

 

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Lifestyle Blogging

Jordan Reid’s Dream Predicted 9/11

Jordan Reid, ramshackle trains of thought, honored Memorial Day by informing everyone she had a premonition about 9/11.

On September 11, 2001, I woke up several hours before my first class because I was startled awake by a dream in which I died in a fiery explosion. In this dream I went to heaven, where I sat on a hilltop and watched things burn way down below. I wanted to remember that dream, and sat down at my computer to start writing it down. And so I was awake when my father called to tell me about the plane that had hit the World Trade Center.

She says she ran downstairs to tell everyone but they “just kept eating breakfast” like it wasn’t a big deal because they weren’t as psychically in tune with true patriotism as Jordan.

She then reprinted a piece about how Trump is the next Hitler or something, imploring us to contemplate politics while she headed off to “go drink some beer and lay in the sun and be happy I have the day off”.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Cupcakes And Cashmere Will Elevate Your Culture’s Textiles And Then Sell Them

Emily Schuman, the clean fresh hair behind Cupcakes and Cashmere, launched her eponymous bedroom decor line this week. It allegedly sold out on the Nordstrom site within hours, though it was all back in stock like half a second later so I’m not sure how that qualifies as “sold out”.

She says she wanted the line to feel “intentional”, I guess because “intentional” is the new “curated” and can’t be used by everyone often enough to describe everything they do or buy or make. She then explains her inspiration.

The Moroccan Geo pillow is a personal favorite, with prints and tassels you might see on traditional Hammam towels, while many of the colorful, embroidered pillows are inspired by our trips to Mexico. The rainbow of pinks, golds, and greens is a bright reminder of one of my favorite places in the world.

This of course resulted in people calling Cuppy out for her “orientalist mind” and “unispired” copying of native fabrics.

…Besides your counterfeit Mexican heritage fabric, the Moroccan Geo pillow pattern is actually one found in Turkish hammam towels, not Moroccan ones. There is a difference between Turkey and Morocco…

…I’m stunned that her line blatantly copies Otomi fabric/embroidery, which is Mexican folk art made by indigenous populations in Mexico…

Culture poaching aside, the collection is about as a big a yawn farm as you’d expect from Cuppy. Safe blues and whites and beiges in patterns of ‘lace’ and ‘dot’ and ‘stripe’, and color pop/decor trends that went out in 2014. None of it really seems much more special than any Martha Stewart crap in the discount bin so I have no clue how it “sold out” but whatever. I don’t understand Cuppy’s appeal in general so maybe it’s just me.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean Leaves Blogging: “I’m just really over it”

Hey Natalie Jean, former instagram darling and book author, is saying goodbye to blogging. She says she agonized a bit over her “flounce” post.

What did I want to say in this, my very last blog post? What are the messages? The themes!? What does a reader even look for in a good flounce post anyway? I definitely wanted it to be, like, AN ESSAY. You know, one of the good ones. Make it mean something!…But the more I thought about it the more I was sure, I’m just really over it.

Thus, instead of the long thoughtful essay, she got right to the point.

So, this is it. After ten years of blogging, I am closing up shop.

Natalie says she will “leave the archives up for a bit” and might be on social media “from time to time”, though she hasn’t decided whether she will set things to private or not. She ends by saying she is “pretty proud of the career I made here, and I owe a lot to you guys”.

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