Lifestyle Blogging

Jenna Wants To Remind You She Is Smokin The Pot

Jenna, still living absolutely, has been half ass hinting about smoking weed on social media since around the time she dyed her hair Cecily Kellogg pink. Well now she is determined to make it clear in case you didn’t get those hints – Jenna is smoking the marijuanas.

I SMOKE WEED HEY LOOK I SMOKE WEED

Yep, That Wife is now totes a stoner u guiz. The 31 year old mother of two posted this to snapchat so you would be in no doubt that she is super San Francisco hipster cool now. Nevermind that even Martha Stewart knows how to roll – smoking pot obviously makes you super cool and Jenna needs you to know she is cool now and smoking pot.

Of course there’s never been any actual evidence of Jenna actually imbibing actual pot, just a lot of her talking about it and teeheeing about omgweed. So who knows wtf she’s trying to prove with this snap, because anyone can take a pic of a dispensary. But ok. Sure.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Kiel James Patrick Confuses His Followers

Kiel James Patrick, the Gatsby of social media, evidently posted a weird instagram pic implying he was facetiming with Gigi Hadid and his wife.

um....what?

The post seems to have disappeared from his feed. That’s ok; the original is still on his wife’s gram feed.

wait...double what?

So…can someone explain what that was? Did Sarah screenshot the same facetime and crop out the gents? Or did KJP photoshop a faketime convo to impress…I’m not sure who?

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Pink Peonies Launches Her Own Clothing Line

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Rach Parcell, the pink-loving Nordstrom shopper behind Pink Peonies, officially launched her online store today. She’s apparently selling clothes she designed. But she says it’s not like that time she designed jewelry. According to her comment on instagram that whole fiasco wasn’t really her fault:

…I was in a licensing deal. I was unable to make final decisions on design because I was not the one funding the business. I hired a lawyer to get me out of that contract because I didn’t agree with some of the decisions being made and they told me things that would happen that actually didn’t (like everything being designed by me and not just bought wholesale). It’s much cheaper and less time consuming to buy wholesale, that’s why that decision was made by the people who were funding the brand…

She went on to say she “got out of that contract to create a brand that was my own business and funded by me so at the end of the day, I have the final decision” and accordingly posted gram pics and snaps of herself drawing designs and throwing fabric over dressforms.

The result is mostly a bunch of pink and white dresses and skirts in straightforward, unoriginal shapes perfect for wearing to weddings or Easter church services. Sizes go up to a 10/12 and prices begin at $100. She is evidently already working on her fall line.

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Book Club Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Former That Wife Finds New Outlet For Getting Attention

Jenna, now living absolutely, has discovered Periscope. For those of you who don’t know, Periscope is basically a live webcam/webcasting app where people can use their phone to broadcast whatever they want. A lot of people use it for things like walking around interesting places and talking about what they see, or at events where they describe the scene for people who aren’t there. Others use it to record or broadcast classes for review or home students. Some use it to show off their penises. Jenna of course uses it to sit and talk about herself and how hard life is.

So instead of book club, let’s do a live watch of ‘Testing’, episode 1 of Jenna’s Periscope.

On to the TL;DR…

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Lifestyle Blogging

Pink Peonies Is Pregnant Again Just Like Everyone Has Been Saying For Three Months

Rachel Parcell, the “jewelry designer” and alleged seven figure a year blogger, has announced her fertility issues seem to be over.

This little baby (who already is kicking up a storm) was a BIG surprise!!! It took me a year (and one round of clomid) to get pregnant with Isla Rose so I never would’ve imagined I would get pregnant with my next baby so quickly!

Saying she “only had one period between Isla and this baby” she goes on to share the details of buying and taking a pregnancy test in Italy. No word on whether she has scheduled baby number two’s first jet ski ride.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Brandon Can Blow His Financial Aid Money On A Vacation

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Brandon and his girlfriend Nat, they promise they aren’t rich, are a couple of college kids who both love Nat’s behind and traveling the world. So when Brandon received his financial aid money for school, the choice on how to spend it was obvious – take his girlfriend’s rump on a trip to Thailand.

Hi my name is Brandon and my school just gave me $2,500 in financial aid to spend on textbooks and supplies. And my girlfriend has never left the country before, and I know the one place she’s always wanted to go. And I decided to do something a little different with my financial aid. So this is our itinerary to Thailand, and she doesn’t know it yet, but I’m about to go surprise her. Let’s do it!

They have an instagram account where they document the adventures of Nat’s booty in various locations, and a Facebook page where Brandon explained why it’s ok to use your financial aid money on being “a boss”.

I’ve realized that many people are mislead by the amount of money spent for our trip. The $2500 merely covered our tickets. We spent around $1000 each for a month where we stayed in hostels so we could afford to do the bigger things…I am a film major. I got $2500 after my tuition was paid for. As a film student you luckily don’t need many textbooks. How did I get $2500 in financial aid? I was emancipated when I was 16.

Hopefully his reasoning will calm all the haters who seem angry that some entitled white boy is spending money earmarked for the educational needs of the financially disadvantaged on a tropical vacation for his girlfriend’s tuchas.

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Lifestyle Blogging

That Wife Wants To Live Absolutely

Jenna Cole, ladycoder and expert at selfing, has started yet another internet presence. In a rambling introduction she explains what Living Absolutely is all about.

Living out loud. Jumping in with both feet…Drinking in everything that feeds your Self. Putting your Self first…Experimenting. Trying new things. Trying all the things. Living out your vision board yet being willing to burn the board the next day because you’ve changed your mind and have new dreams to chase after.

So far it seems to mostly be a depository for Jenna’s Toastmaster ‘speeches’. This latest addition to her online existence joins her two new instagram accounts in Jenna’s attempt to carpet bomb the internet with her pink hair.

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Fashion Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

RewardStyle Conference Begins And Not Much Has Changed

It’s time once again for the RewardStyle Con, the event that allows selected style bloggers to feel superior to those who did not make enough money to attend. Everyone is already gramming their brains out, providing behind-the-scenes looks at their totally unique experiences.

We have the Breakfast On A White Bed grams.

And there’s the My Feet By The Pool selfies.

And the Everyone Posing In Front Of The Same Wall pics.

I guess a good brick wall wasn’t available.

Queen Bee Amber spent the week preparing with facials, and was pronounced #inspiring at her keynote speech. The weekend of partying should be enough to motivate her monkeys to keep making money for her matching mother daughter shoes.

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Lifestyle Blogging

Jordan Reid Gets Ramshackle Boobs

Jordan Reid, wants to sell you a “mom bod” sweatshirt, has taken a break from peddling “mom bod” sweatshirts in order to post a limping justification of why her new boob job is totes about loving your “mom bod” and also feminism or something.

Claiming she wrote about her “journey” because she wants to remove the stigma of cosmetic surgery, she tells us that it “shouldn’t involve feelings of shame and guilt and embarrassment” to have a procedure that basically nobody shrinks away from discussing publicly anymore.

Her #sobrave boob job confessional comes just months after admitting she was getting botox, an admission that finally freed the women of the world to go out and try the top secret, never discussed injectible that no one gets because of the shame or something.

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Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

The Instagram Thirsty Begin Freaking Out Over Platform Changes

Instagram, the social media platform where boring people can make their lives look amazing, is changing their display algorithm to prioritize posts they think you’ll like the most instead of displaying your feed in chronological order. Naturally this means the intarwebs needs to freak out.

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Even Kendall Jenner is complaining about the algorithm armageddon despite instagram saying they “assure you nothing is changing with your feed right now”. Unfortunately all the notification begging is having the opposite effect, turning some followers off a feed completely. No matter – the instagram famous will probably all quit the platform in protest, sort of like how they all quit pinterest when that platform started forbidding affiliate linking. Oh wait.

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Hey Natalie Jean Can Kon-Mari Correctly

Hey Natalie Jean, so minimalist that she needs a storage unit, is giving Kon-Mari another try.

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This post came on the heels of Natty surrounded by a pile of collaboration clothes and telling us “the more denim the better”.

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So I guess the idea of Kon-Mari is to throw out everything and get all new stuff every 3 months? Or no? Because that’s what all the bloggers pushing it seem to be doing.

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Lifestyle Blogging

‘Natalie Now’ Doesn’t Really Care How You Do It, But She Will Tell You How To Do It

Natalie Now, the former Mormon In Manhattan who is now a Mormon in Utah, continues to be the most pregnant woman who ever pregnanted. She has lots of tips for you other pregnant ladies, including how to pose for your bump pics.

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See, Natalie believes that “preg or not, my hand doesn’t need to touch my pubic bone!” Of course, she doesn’t really care that much. When someone commented “it’s not really about posting what other people want to see or not see right?” Natalie responded “you do you! Who cares?!”

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Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Gala Darling Will Teach You To Cure Yourself

Gala Darling, boob job feminist, has announced her latest woo filled moneymaking scheme. She will now charge you lucky people $145 for a class on “Emotional Freedom Technique”. Her sales pitch is pretty strong:

I discovered tapping in 2006 and the first thing I used it for was to clear myself of the daily asthma attacks I’d been experiencing since I was 10 years old…I tapped to dismantle the depression that had plagued me since the age of 13, and then — in one night — tapped to stop my eating disorder in its tracks.

Her system is a “combination of written and video content which shows you the basics of tapping”, and she says it will also have “a bundle of scripts” to help you “heal” specific issues.

If $145 sounds like a lot to cure your asthma and depression, you can pre-order it right now for $95 and then wait until it’s released in mid-April. I’m tempted to purchase it just to see what kind of 50 page not-promising-anything disclaimer she includes. I mean, people can’t possibly really expect to cure extremely serious medical and mental health issues by tapping their wrists…right?

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