Lifestyle Blogging

Love Taza Went To Australia And A Tech Conference And It Was All Very Thrilling

Naomi and Josh Davis, of the Von Derp Family Traveling Circus, took their omglittles to Australia. They have now posted a vlog of their journey and it’s a wonderful video featuring their kids being obnoxious for a day and a half.

Highlights include their kids tearing around the airport screeching while Derp sits on the ground on his phone sorting out their visas, their kids spending hours on the plane screeching and reaching through the seats at each other, their baby opening a cup and flinging water, their kids climbing all over the plane, and one of their precious heavenly gifts rattling a Hungry Hungry Hippos toy.

Unfortunately poor Mamajaw had to tolerate some people who apparently didn’t know how lucky they were to be in the presence of the famous Davis family.

we did encounter our first not-so-nice person on one of our flights in australia who maybe made me cry which was super fun

But she goes on to say “we were also fortunate on several of our flights to have empty seats around us, which was crazy amazing as we were able to spread out a little bit more and sleep” which, from the video it doesn’t look like a lot of sleep was happening but ok.

About five minutes after they returned from Australia they went to speak at some RootsTech conference and did some interview where they “shared” why it’s “important to tell your story”. As usual they blather out a lot of words but don’t really SAY anything. Blah blah the usual Mormon thing of loving journaling, we are inspiring people with our everyday lives, what we do is super important, millions of people just can’t seem to stop being fascinated with us and watch all our videos. Which, ok, great; but what does all of this REALLY MEAN for their family as a whole in the long run? They are obviously a branded family now. Broadcasting their life is a business for them. Why not talk about the long term implications of selling their family’s lives to the highest bidder like the Kardashians? Like, where do they honestly see this going in 5 years? In 10? Enough with the lil ole us and our lil ole sharing the little joys sales spiel – we’ve all heard it a thousand times. Maybe they got into all that deeper stuff in their actual talk, but this interview just seemed like they were there to yet again recite their public relations ‘about us’ crap so it was kind of pointless imo.

Anyway, there’s your update on what the increasingly boring never-ending vacationing Derps have been up to, for the 9 of you who care.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

106

Lifestyle Blogging

Essena O’Neill Will Work In A Bar Now

Essena O’Neill, the teenager who made a big deal about getting off social media, has taken to emailing her ‘fans’ to keep them updated. In her latest email update she repeats the story of her amazing fame and beauty, in case you forgot she was famous and beautiful.

I grew up being a teen idle…I became signed with one of Australia’s biggest modelling agencies in a matter of weeks…meeting with lots of different agencies and having proposals for major modelling and YouTube deals…I told my family, ‘I can’t do this. I don’t want to model. I don’t want to even be on social media, it’s just not for me anymore.’…Of course they thought I was going crazy. Why give up a preposed [sic] $50,000 Youtube deal? Five or six shoots already waiting for me in Sydney?

And on and on…and on and on. She blathers on about how her “truth” captions made her even more famous, in case you forgot she was famous. So famous. She was “idolised”, a word she uses repeatedly.

The point of her neverending ramble seems to be her announcement that she is “getting a job at a local bar and pursuing writing full time.” She has now shut down Let’s Be Game Changers, even though she claims “this site had 5 million unique visitors”; the site now simply says she is “currently writing first book” which is apparently going to be about how to get social media famous. She is also claiming she wants to write sci-fi novels, which has “been my dream since I was 12″.

She evidently gave all the donation money to cyberbullying charities, and closes by telling everyone “please if I could say one last thing don’t idolise me”.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

46

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Gala Darling Gets Radical Boob Job

Gala Darling, the “international playgirl” trying to be a “self-love” guru, has some feminist news. Five months after finally announcing the end of her marriage Gala has revealed she went under the knife and got a new pair of juicers.

feminismftw

In a rambling post she says she “never hated my B cups, and in fact, I never really thought about their size until this summer” (so, basically when she started dating a new guy? hm) and “started thinking about getting a boob job”. So she talked to a doctor and within hours was consulting an astrologist to determine the best date for the surgery. She claims post-surgery she “didn’t feel groggy at all…so I asked for my phone and started texting people”. She spent the day after surgery meditating and watching tv, and had “no bruising and practically zero pain”.

The next day, Thursday, I was back to normal life. I was on Periscope at 12.30pm, went for a walk, and was — for all intents and purposes — on track again. Every day, my chest became less tight and I had more range of motion. (Two weeks after surgery, I was able to do body weight exercise, and I returned to my normal exercise routine — using resistance — yesterday.)

After paragraphs of justification and dismissal of anyone judging her for basically tossing aside all her self-acceptance and self-love teachings, she tells us “In my opinion — which, let’s face it, is the only one that matters — it looks great.” She closed by saying a boob job has nothing to do with feminism, before instagramming a picture of her new boobs crammed into a sports bra with the word “feminist” on it.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

189

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Jess Lively Announces The “Conscious Completion” Of Her Marriage

Jess Lively, peddler of “living with intention” internet classes, has announced via podcast that she and her husband have chosen to consciously “complete” their marriage. Mr. Lively sounds absolutely thrilled about it.

I want people to know that I’m happy, that I’m not depressed, that I still love Jess, I look forward to still being close friends, I’m excited about our future lives, I cherish the past five years, and everything is okay. Really, everything is okay.

Jess made the announcement while interviewing fellow woo shoveler Katherine Woodward Thomas, the woman who gifted the world with the term “conscious uncoupling”.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

62

Book Club Lifestyle Blogging

‘Carrying On’ – A Liveblogged Book Review

Happy Friday, hams! It’s been a while since we did a book reading. I have a few lined up again, so let’s do a few over the next few weeks. Now, I was going to go to this today but I decided instead to bring you Ramshackle Glam‘s second book. So. Yeah. Sigh. Share my suffering as I slog through the painful prose of ’Carrying On: Style, Beauty, Décor (and More) for the Nervous New Mom’.

On to the TL;DR…

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

82

Lifestyle Blogging

Bleubird Is Latest Blogger To Open A Store

In the fine tradition of trying to transition blog semi-fame into a retail venture, Miss James has announced “TWO SON”.

Saying the project has been in the works for two years, James describes it as “a menswear, womenswear, and housewares store in Nashville”. It appears the store will  basically be yet another small stock shop with light wood and white walls and Schoolhouse lighting. So far it all looks like a generic factory of waning gram trends; as one ham put it, the store’s instagram wins “the award for the world’s most beige-est instagram feed”.

yawn

According to James the store will have “amazing pieces from our favorite brands: Lauren Manoogian, Norse Projects, Caron Callahan, Ace&Jig, Tellason, Le Labo, Helm, B Sides, Maryam Nassir Zadeh, Freenote Cloth, Ryan Roche, Clyde, our in-house label TwoSon”, so basically mostly stuff you can buy at 200 places online already.

So, hooray. Just what the world needs – yet another minimalist, hipster luxury, vanity project store pushing items none of her fangirls can afford.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

35

Lifestyle Blogging Vlogging WTF

You Need A Change Of Pants, But First Summer Will Post It To Instagram

Summer Bellessa, wannabe youtube star, took her potty training son out Black Friday shopping at Target. I know…already the momhams out there are thinking what a fantastic idea this was. What could go wrong?

wtfwhy

Well if something does go exactly the way all reason and mother nature would predict, make sure you take a pic of it in the middle of the aisle while your son cries. Instamommies – they’ll make their kid stand around in pee soaked jeans if it means they can post a bon mot on the gram. Happy holidays!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

136

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Barefoot Blonde Finally Goes Into Labor

The seemingly endless pregnancy of Amber Fillerup, of the ‘shirtgate’ episode, is finally coming to an end. The human Barbie entered the hospital last night and quickly provided a sexy gram photo to alert her fans of the coming event. The photo already has nearly 70,000 likes.

Screen Shot 2015-11-18 at 3.07.18 PM (1) copy 2

Predictions on the name selection have already begun with choices swinging between “some hipster/old timey name” or something omgFrawnchy sounding.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

60

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Natalie Now Is Sad For Paris

Paris is under siege tonight, but Natalie Now knows how to tragedyjack with sensitivity and solemnity.

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 8.07.32 PM

Yep, post a picture of herself smiling and twirling in front of the Arc de Triomphe. Look, I understand that bloggers and social media stars cannot privately acknowledge any tragedy because private prayers don’t come with hashtags. But maybe chill on the ‘gee my heart is breaking for you, but here’s a pic of me having a grand ole time in front of one of your landmarks in better times!’ posts, guys.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

124

DIY Blogging Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

A Friday News Dump

I’m kind of busy lately so here’s some little news bits I never got around to posting the past couple of weeks.

Amber Venz, RStyle queen, finally gave birth to her daughter. She and husband Baxter Box chose the name Birdie. Birdie Box. She’s enjoying her postpartum leave by taking little Birdie Box for walks in outfits like this. Ok then. And if you’re into nursery decor you’ll be thrilled to know she went with the GOMI Forums favorite color scheme of grey and white (combined with what looks like some sort of mintish color on the walls).

Young House Love is selling artwork on Society6 now in case you want some of their amazing paint skills in your life.

Snappy Casual decided it was too hard to pick up her house and also entertain a child and evidently wants internet headpats for this decision.

What I Wore is busy cementing her place as queen bee of her husband’s booze factory by putting on various events.

Socality Barbie announced her retirement and the internet crapped its pants.

And finally, a bunch of supposed internet celebs are going on Season 28 of ‘The Amazing Race’ and pretty much nobody cares.

Feel free to add any other newsie bits that I missed!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

82

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Passenger Jumps Overboard During Travel Blogger Cruise

Travel bloggers recently boarded the cruise ship Oasis of the Seas for the TBEX at Sea event. The cruise left Ft. Lauderdale on October 31st and has been making its way through the Bahamas, but tragedy apparently struck this morning.

jumper

Evidently a man jumped from Deck 7 and attempted to cling to a lifeboat but was unable to hold on.

Officials said crew members witnessed the 35-year-old intentionally leap from the Oasis of the Seas ship early Friday morning in the Bahamas. A rescue ship from Clearwater has joined search efforts.

Lou Mongello, a passenger on the TBEX cruise, claims there is “a very disturbing video of the passenger hanging onto the lifeboat, where you can hear another passenger saying “You murdered him!… Because of you this happened!”" being passed around the group. A video of the event was recently removed from youtube.

Rumors state the incident involved alcohol and some sort of domestic argument. The Captain was apparently given notice that there was a “domestic situation” happening which allowed the Captain to slow the ship before the incident. Royal Caribbean has now passed on search and rescue duties to the Coast Guard and the ship is heading back to Florida.

UPDATE: Video of the incident is now available here. Warning: Graphic.

UPDATE: Link removed from post because I’d like my phone and inbox to stop blowing up.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

140

Internets Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Blogger Costumes Will Leave You Whelmed

It was Halloween this past Saturday, and your favorite bloggers really put in 50% this year. In case you missed it here are a few of the costumes put up by people who are supposedly super creative.

costume1

Kelle of ETST went as Frieda Kahlo, prompting her fanpuppies to slobber about her super on fleek eyebrows.

costume2

Miss James of Bleubird went as Carrie White. Eh. The costume was well done, I guess I’m just tired of seeing at least 3 Carrie costumes every year.

costume5

Amber of Barefoot Blonde didn’t wear a formal gown for once. Evidently she was having contractions all day and didn’t feel like doing a costume, though that didn’t stop her from coordinating her outfit with her baby and dog.

costume6

Ole Messica is still chugging along at What I Wore, and despite promising that this year’s costume would make her famous Marie Antoinette “look like child’s play”, she simply threw on her old wedding dress and slapped on some black lipstick.

costume11

Natalie, still in Idaho, went as Wednesday Addams. There’s just…not much to say about that.

costume7

Million dollar blogger Rach Parcell of Pink Peonies got over a thousand comments for her #lifegoals family costume.

costume3

And finally, Jenna of That Wife. In case you didn’t know she is a super ladycoder woman in tech now, so obviously she went for a “pun” costume based on her Silicon Valley relevance. Of course that wasn’t enough for Jenna The Kardashian Of Tech – she later changed into a Marilyn Monroe getup for her night of “drinking and dancing”.

Other bloggers decided instead to celebrate Dia de los Muertos – sponsored by Veuve Cliquot, that is. Which is not at all offensive.

Hope you hams had a fun and safe Halloween weekend!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

104

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

XOJane Moves To Time Inc. And The Staff Cuts Begin

Almost a year after SAY Media decided to dump XOJane, The Pratt Pack finally found a new money spout.  The footer now says “XOJANE is part of the Time Inc. Style Network”…and what was the first order of business for the new owners?

208xlqa

Yep, staff cleanouts. Seems Emily McCombs, best editor ever, is the first one out the door. In a facebook post she says she was left “hanging for several days” while she worked for free on “good faith”, but Time HR finally called and said there was no position for her at their company.

I asked who was going to run the site and they seemed confused, responding “…Why, because that’s what you do?” They said they have people internally who can handle the various aspects of my job.

Ouch, apply cold water to affected area. Meanwhile the new kid not only kept her job but got the desk right next to Jane herself. I’m sure they’re all super feminist and “above it” but now that XOBFFHEARTEYES has gone corporate I do hope the details about that work environment start spilling out on social media soon. Those stories would certainly be more interesting than anything on XOJane the past year.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

33