Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Jordan Reid Would Like To Sell You Feminism

feminist

click to enlarge

Jordan Reid, entrepreneuristy lady, has a fabulous product in her new store that will lift women up. It is a sweatshirt that allows you to proclaim you are kind of feminist, but not the scary kind.

Because even though you’re a Feminist, you don’t want to “offend” anybody or seem too “aggressive.” By turning the word “feminist” into an adjective, we’re softening its harsh connotations that you “hate men” and “are a lesbian.” We believe you should be able to express yourself mostly, but retain the ability to apologize a lot in the boardroom, if you ever get hired, you hussy.

The omg-I’m-not-a-lesbian sweatshirt features “hand cut felt letters, sewn over the chest area to increase modesty and propriety (lady in the streets, freak in the sheets, etc.)” so it is both empowering and handmadeish. Countdown to Hillary Clinton sporting this girl power (but not too much girl power because you don’t want to be offensive) top at her victory party in 2016.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

136

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Will Save Peru

Taza, of the Love Taza Family von Derps, has announced that the family is in Peru saving Peru and doing “service” in Peru.

josh and i decided last minute to book this trip. like, we bought our plane tickets on friday morning and left early sunday!

It’s so amazing they even invited her sister and father to come down because it’s her father’s birthday weekend. Don’t worry, they also brought a photo/videographer!

it’s a party too, because our friend jenner (who has helped us put together our NYC guide videos and also traveled with us to amsterdam) is here for a few days! we thought it’d be a long shot when we called him friday night at like eleven in the evening all like, hey…. wanna come to peru and help us create something fun!?

The pictures show intense service like serving soup and Papa Derp and Daughter Derp performing dances for their “new friends”, aka the captive audience just waiting for some food. Later, Derp Son One went around forcing everyone to shake his hand.

he did it all on his own and it touched my heart so much! such a sweetheart. this experience has definitely been a powerful one for our family so far.

The organization they are there for is called Cross-Cultural Solutions and apparently their goals are mostly things like fostering awareness and empowering non-first-world people. The site has stories of previous volunteers here, and honestly it sounds like poverty tourism for most of the volunteers. But hey, awareness! And blog content!

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

136

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Natalie Now Is Pregnant

Natalie Hill Jensen, the former Mormon In Manhattan turned Mormon In Utah, has finally announced she is carrying a future Broadway Famous Performer.

natnowbaby

She says “pregnancy has really flatlined me- (princess Kate & I have so much in common…)”. She also claims they are not learning the sex of the baby “which is infuriating EVERYONE”, as if the planet has been waiting for this event for years and is slobbering to get the details on this world famous baby. I guess we’ll just have to see how long she can resist the attention of “gender” reveal parties and showing off pink baby leotards for little Ginger Rogers Hill-Jensen.

Looks like her days of traipsing around NYC every month eating like a homeless person are over. How long until she becomes a mommy blogger, do you think?

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

90

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Mommy Wants Vodka Felt Her Femur Just Like, Shatter

wtfbecky

Aunt Becky, broke her hip or something, has now provided a timeline and explanation of sorts for her bizarre injuries.

Aunt Becky claims she “felt” her femur “fracture” while she was just “standing up, talking to a friend”. When someone asked how doctors didn’t see this injury, Becky replied:

They x-rayed it both times and saw nothing. I was sent home saying it was a bone bruise and a script for pain meds.

She then says she “went to inpatient rehab for PT and OT” on September 28, and by October 6 said “I am going home. I cannot wait.” Later that same day she said she’ll “be recovering from this a long…time”, though after another x-ray yesterday she reports “Turns out? My femur is working hard to get this b**** off her walker/wheelchair and back to kicking ass and takings [sic]“.

That’s not how any of this works gif here.

THIS!(1)NOPE!(0)

115

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Neely Will Teach You How To Succeed At Blogging

neelyfail

Neely Moldovan, of the wedding photographer bashing Moldovans, has now rebranded. Her “A Complete Waste Of Makeup” blog is now dead, being replaced with her new venture called “It Starts With Coffee”. The site is apparently intended to be a launchpad for her amazing new how-to-blog classes.

About this time last year I knew I wanted to offer something to bloggers I wasn’t seeing out there. A class for bloggers, taught by someone who had been doing it for five years and who was making a living off of it.

For $115 you get a class of “4 hours held via Google Hangout”. She specifies that the class is “non-refundable and non-transferable” so even if you can’t attend after you pay for it, you’re SOL.

We have to wonder why someone who made such a mess of her own online presence feels herself qualified to teach others how to succeed at social media and blogging. Or why she thinks how-to-blog classes aren’t “out there”, because it seems like everyone with a domain name is “out there” offering the same kinds of classes. But sure, ok.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

23

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

That Wife Continues To Transform Into Amazing Tech Woman

Screen Shot 2015-10-05 at 5.28.15 PM (1)

Jenna Cole, struggling to understand JavaScript, has managed somehow to figure out Manic Panic.

Now that I know I can do a passable job putting it in myself, I can have pink hair all the time!

As part of her Mumspringa journey Jenna has been doing the usual radical hair changes and alcohol. The nose stud piercing and Pinteresty feminism tattoos are sure to come next, probably around the time she finally makes HELLO WORLD appear and declares herself the millenial Grace Hopper.

But first she needs to pout about how hard coding is and then lean in to some feminist cookies.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

84

Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

Barefoot Blonde Found A Way To Deal With Shirtgate

Amber Fillerup, the barefoot and pregnant blonde, put up a sponsored laundry detergent post yesterday that caused quite the drama. It seems her baby was wearing a shirt that resembled the concentration camp uniform Jews were forced to wear during the Holocaust.

After being alerted to the issue Amber responded in a (now apparently deleted) comment that if the “photos are invoking horrific feelings upon you then I am sorry and I will not be offended if you do not come back to my website”. Meanwhile her fangirls defended her with remarks like “the real truth is the holocaust was entirely blown out of proportion” and “A stripey baby outfit with a star! Someone call the wahmbulance!”

Amber finally dealt with Shirtgate by pulling out the clone stamp tool.

bbno

Amber clarified her comment by later tossing out the classic sorry-you-feel-that-way comeback.

I am really sorry if it offends you!…I am sorry though if it resembling a Star of David offends you, that is obviously not my intention.

She then went on to say she “will look into it” when a commenter brought up last week’s WGN-TV scandal.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

175

Lifestyle Blogging

Cupcakes And Cashmere Wants To Sell You More Of Her Elevated Stuff

cuppyhome

Is Emily Schuman, elevating everything, now elevating your home with elevated bedding and decor? Her instagram certainly seems to be hinting that a Cupcakes and Cashmere home goods line is on the way.

Her bizarre fashion line allegedly sold like crazy (while simultaneously causing sizism controversy), so it’s obvious there’s a market for anything Cuppy peddles. Fangirls on instagram are already slobbering things like “omg I need this now this is such big news” and “if she’s doing a homewares line I will fly to LA” so clearly there are gals out there who want to home it up like Emily.

Here’s hoping it’s more than just another pile of navy, coral, and cream products being shoved out for the sake of having products to sell.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

31

Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Ramshackle Glam’s New Store Just As “Uhhhhh” As You’d Expect

Jordan Reid, still waiting for that second book to come out, has apparently hooked up with another blogger to start some kind of store. It’s called “glam | camp” and on their rambling, wtf filled About page, they say it’s “the kind of place that you go into hoping to find something for your best friend or your co-worker’s new baby, and then end up kind of wanting to buy everything for yourself”.

You’ve met us before: we’re the proprietors of that store down the alley who talk way too much, telling you stories about how those candles were hand-dipped by a guy who lives in the mountains and sustains himself on nothing but aloe leaves and whiskey, and then ask you to come hang at the cafe down the street and drink some coffee with us because really, we should probably be friends.

Because we all love THAT kind of store, where the owner won’t stfu and just let you pay for your artisan soaps and go home where there are people you actually do want to talk to. Delightful. Anyway the shop is apparently selling cactus stuff and overpriced etsy-esque home stuff and jewelry, including a necklace to repel internet trolls. It’s all very eh merchandise but at least she’s branching out from affiliate linked flooded posts about lip balm and purses. So there’s that.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

130

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Mommy Wants Vodka Apparently Still Getting Injured

Aunt Becky, of Mommy Wants Vodka and Band Back Together fame, is back with a new personal tragedy. After her claims of being attacked by phantom stalkers resulted in her being charged with filing false reports she continued to say she was in danger. Then she went sort of quiet for a while.

Now she’s back with new physical injuries.

ohbecky

A friend then updated all of Aunt Becky’s “pranksters” on The Facebook.

Becky is out of surgery, hasn’t spoken to the doctor yet but is doing ok other than being in agonizing pain. Keep her in your thoughts–she’s got a long road to recovery!

As of now there is no explanation as to how or why this happened.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(0)

121

Fashion Blogging Internets Lifestyle Blogging

Camp Patton Poofs Blog, Sea Of Shoes Changes Hair, That Wife Is A Ladycoder

Here’s a few meh news bits while the internets is being boring.

Camp Patton has set her blog private. It looks like her instagram is still up, and she says she has “shut it down for the time being” and is “just taking some safety precautions, hope to maybe be back one day”.

Fashion blahg fanpoodles are flipping out over Jane Aldridge’s new hair. Since the flaming mop was sort of her signature it will be interesting to see if she remains the recognizable Sea of Shoes icon that shot to pseudofame after going from dirty blonde to red all those years ago.

Jenna Cole, future software engineer, is evidently doing some coder bootcamp thing. She is documenting her game changing skillz on a github “blog” and it’s basically the most amazing thing ever.

I assume everyone is out getting PSLs and curating photos of sweater wearing while throwing leaves in the air, because this is all I could dig up for now. Sort of a womp womp start to the week, eh?

THIS!(1)NOPE!(1)

106

Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Has Animals Again

Hey Natalie Jean, totally lives on a farm now, has announced her acquisition of chickens.

oh my gosh i love them already. so much that the guy at the tack + feed store already knows me by name. I’ve been in there at least three times since i brought my girls home, asking the silliest questions.

The chickens apparently spent their first night running around in the yard because they tried to “wait for the chickens to figure out how to get back into their coop, because #chickennoobs”. She claims the “tack + feed” guy “told me i was a good chicken mom! that was cute”, even though she goes on to teehee:

newbie stupidity not cooping them from the get-go, and i know i’m making a mess of this, but having these ladies out back + worrying over them, bringing them bits of vegetables that the books say they should like + telling them how lovely i think they are… it feels nice.

There are no pics of these alleged chickens or their coop on her gram feed, though hams have reported she is posted them on her snapchat. Considering their record of pet ownership I wish these chickens luck.

THIS!(0)NOPE!(1)

175

Food Blogging Lifestyle Blogging

Pioneer Woman Is Selling Stuff At Wal-Mart

walmartpie

Pioneer Woman, shucks y’all, has a new cookware line that went on sale yesterday.

I can’t tell you how excited I am to share this collection with you, and I am over-the-moon thrilled that Walmart will be launching it. The quality of the pieces is amazing, the prices are fantastic, and every single item is a reflection of the things I love in life.

The collection seems to be a lot of enamelware style stuff, mason jar glasses, and “rustic” wood handled kitchen tools which are all very trendy on The Pinterest Machine. The flatware and dinnerware is not really all that distinctive – I’ve seen similar stuff at Dollar Tree for years – but will probably sell like crazy with her rabid fanbase.

So, not really interesting news. But she’s still a blogger and it’s really slow this week, and since Marlboro Woman seems dead I figured some of you out there might want a chance to discuss ole Ree.

THIS!(1)NOPE!(0)

290