Fashion Blogging Mommy Blogging

Pink Peonies Knows About Jet Ski Safety

Pink Peonies, the Million Dollar Blogger, posted a super fun vacay pic to instagram yesterday.

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Yes, that is indeed her newborn baby in the arms of her husband, who is driving the jet ski with one hand. The post was online for hours while Rachel allowed her fangirls to defend her good parenting decisions. In the end, despite taking to snapchat herself and getting all sassy to her “haters” about what a safety obsessed mom she is, and omg you guys they were going really slow and her husband has driven jet skis for 25 years and she knows how to raise her own child, she  removed the pic. She has replaced it with some baby-and-dog criticism shield pic.

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Mommy Blogging

That Wife Knows Bike Safety

Jenna Cole, Jewish nudist, joins the blogger trend of questionable bicycle safety. This weekend she threw her two small children in a bike trailer thing and took off to attempt adult friendshipping again. But first she had to take photos showcasing her brave decision to wear a crop top.

When readers asked her about the bike trailer she admitted “the listing from side-to-side is scary”, and stated the seats “have buckles/straps to hold them in, but I installed the seat covers backwards and haven’t flipped them around yet”.

Of course the obvious happened – Jenna “forgot the advice I received when I first started biking in the city and went over some trolley tracks at a non-perpendicular angle while pulling the kids” and everyone went tail over teakettle onto the street. Despite what appear to be pretty painful scrapes and bruises, she brushed off the incident by saying she “was really happy when T1 retold the story and said that the experience taught him the importance of wearing a helmet”.

Jenna then took her scraped and bruised children to the beach so they could splash around in saltwater.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

Sam And Nia Are Thrilled To Go Viral With Alleged 48 Hour Pregnancy

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Vloggers Sam & Nia, finally famous, have at last unlocked achievement level Viral Video. They reached this dream of every vlogger with a youtube announcement in which husband Sam, saying his wife texted him earlier to say her period was two weeks late,  proceeds to secretly take Nia’s overnight urine out of the toilet and performs a pregnancy test. He then informs his wife she is pregnant.

But then just three days later they posted a tearful video claiming Nia just had a miscarriage.

We’re so hurt but we’re so thankful that God used us like this…I just hope this video continues to be a way for God to shine his light through us…

They are defending themselves against claims that the videos are a publicity stunt by speaking to huge media outlets. This is after they posted a video about what an “awesome day” they were having because they went viral.

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Mommy Blogging

Dooce Wants You To Know Her Struggle

Dooce, still talking about how she “retired” from blogging, is still talking about how she “retired” from blogging. In an interview with ProBlogger she yet again bemoans the current state of blogland, saying there’s “been a huge shift in the industry since 2011″. She then goes into why her job is harder than your job.

There has been dissatisfaction for about three years, but only since my ex-husband moved to New York has my publishing schedule changed. Once it was just me at home with the children, I no longer could keep up with the schedule I had in place before he left….I often had to stop blogging when my kids were sick or needed me…I had kids to take care of. It’s very difficult to be a single parent and a business owner.

She says she doesn’t know “a single blogger who even enjoys it any more” and explains further to all of you childless chumps with regular jobs why blogging is harder than what you do.

It’s not like just walking into a job every day, it’s so different. I was talking to someone recently, and they asked if there was a segment of the population that are ridiculous in terms of their criticism of what you do – and there is. It’s people with no kids who go to an office job.

She concludes by saying her retirement “probably has increased my workload about 40%” and that “the most feminist thing I can do for myself, and I can ask myself this as a white woman in America – is ask: “am I happy doing what I’m doing?””

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Mommy Blogging WTF

The Feminist Breeder Will Store Placenta In Your Office Fridge

The Feminist Breeder, her new job is more awesome than yours, recently started an awesome new job. She even claims she’s been given a huge raise after less than 3 months at this awesome new job. Which obviously means it’s ok for her to do things like this.

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Um…is this a thing that’s done? Serious question. My boss flips if someone leaves food in the fridge over the weekend. I can’t imagine him chuckling “all day long” if someone put a human organ on the top shelf of the company fridge.

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Lifestyle Blogging Mommy Blogging

That Wife Is Now A Nudist

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Jenna Cole, 1/16 Jewish, is now 15/16th nudist. This weekend the uber feminist code warrior WAHM went out to a beach and ripped off her clothes and sobbed into the sand.

I felt my skin warming and the waves spraying and the wind kissing in a way I had never felt before, and it wasn’t long before I turned my back up to the sun so I could bury my face in my towel and cry…And then my new nudist friend Robert (who is somewhere around sixty years old and has an incredible ability to have a twenty minute conversation with a naked woman and not let his eyes wander once) photographed me using my iPhone…

Jenna ended her weekend of nudity by slamming drinks and writing code.

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Mommy Blogging

Love Taza Is Not An Expert On Bicycle Laws

Love Taza, mama to littles, just loves doing everything as a family. This week the Love Taza show went out for a bike ride, as a family.

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The ride included strapping their 7 month old into a bike seat and slapping on a helmet that is clearly the correct size in order to wheel around an island metropolis with some of the most insane traffic in North America.

But apparently Taza isn’t familiar with the bicycle laws in this little city of hers. The New York State Department of Transportation says:

Children under 1 are prohibited from being transported on a bicycle (Sec. 1238(1)(2)).

Of course silly things like laws can’t be acknowledged when there’s content to generate. When a few fangirls asked wtf she was thinking, Taza claimed (in a now apparently deleted comment) that her son’s pediatrician said it was totally okay. She then waved away further criticism on the matter by providing a disclaimer on her post.

…i know the age varies a lot online about when little ones can or should begin to bike with you, so it’s always just best to consult with your pediatricians as they know your child best and if he or she is strong enough, able enough to ride along with you. i’m not an expert on anything around this topic…

I know mommies are exempt from any judging ever but…don’t you think a mom who loves being a mom to her littles in this little city of theirs would know and follow the laws about this sort of thing? And obviously bloggers are special snowflakes and above the rules that apply to those of us who must drudge through this mortal coil without internet headpats; but at some point – maybe when you’re pushing 30 and are a mother of 3 – it stops being cute to giggle and do a kewpie doll pose and do some “golly garsh I just didn’t know! just sharing my life! here’s an affiliate link to our clothes!”

Seriously, I’d like to know when “his pediatrician says it’s ok” started superseding state traffic laws. Maybe I should become a popular lifestyle blogger! Then the next time I don’t feel like curbing my dog I can just smile and say his vet says it’s ok to let him crap on your foot.

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Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

‘Stiletto Me Up’ Charged With Extortion

Egreis Gjergjani, the blogger behind Stiletto Me Up, has apparently been charged with extortion and witness tampering in Orange County, FL.

The crux of the charges seems to be that her stepmother noticed “suspicious activity” on her credit report and “suspected” “Shoe Queen” Egreis was responsible. The stepmother filed two reports with the police about her suspicions. The stepmother alleges that at this point, Eggy called her stepmother and said her father had sent her a sex tape of himself and the stepmother, and if the stepmother didn’t drop all the charges, Eggy would release the tape on the internet.

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After repeated questions on her instagram, she finally made a statement about the matter.

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She also apparently made other statements on instagram claiming this was “nothing but retaliation” for her father filing for divorce from her stepmother.

Egreis was arrested and shortly after posted bail. She then apparently went out to shop and post gramworthy pics of herself at a mall or something.

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Mommy Blogging

That Wife Having THE Most Awful Two Days Ever

Jenna Cole, wannabe coder, just couldn’t catch a break this week. After being unable to get on the plane to Poland because her son’s passport status wasn’t up to par, she spent the last few days trying desperately to get everyone’s passports in order. She finally had to give up and spent yesterday “day drinking” while on the phone with the airline trying to “recoup costs”. Because, alas, it seems the entire passport computer system is down or something and Jenna will not be taking Gollum smile selfies in Greece.

The state department issued a notice last week about technical issues they’re having and this morning a very nice man at the passport agency patiently spoke around my sobs as he delivered the news that they had no idea when the passport would be printed…if we hadn’t struggled with getting the notarized form faxed over and confirmed we might have been able to get it printed in time (like the woman right behind me in line this morning).

She then thanked the random mom who hugged her as she ran “out of the building red-faced and tear-stricken”, and says she is now “reconfiguring” their “summer plans”.

Some very nice people have made this awful 48 hour period bearable. And I guess that’s the end of the very short-lived #euroand15 hashtag. Antio Greece dreams.

I can’t think of a more awful 48 hour period. When I think of all the missed sexy bathing suit poses and selfies of Jenna drinking jug wine with Athina Onassis I just tear up inside. But hey, more SF summer day drinking for Jenna! All is not lost!

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Internets Mommy Blogging

Matt Walsh Thinks Caitlyn Jenner Pic Is A “Monstrosity”

Matt Walsh, still talking for some reason, has pronounced Bruce Jenner’s transformation into Caitlyn an “insult to women”. First, he calls Caitlyn’s Vanity Fair cover a “horrifying” “fiction”.

Indeed, everyone is treating a disturbing Photoshopped picture of a mentally disordered grandfather dressed up as a college girl like it’s mankind’s greatest achievement since spaceflight. Once again, there is a virtually unanimous public agreement that “transgender” people like Bruce Jenner are heroes and saints and and messiahs, and should be worshiped…The truth is, I get so sickened and infuriated by this kind of madness…

He then gadded over to another blog to post another 45 million words about how women should be personally offended by the whole thing. Saying “Bruce Jenner is not a woman in any sense or to any extent”, Matt called the sight “tragic” and thinks “It’s just wrong. Disgusting, frankly.” He then tries to tell feminists that ““transgenderism” is a direct assault on their entire worldview” and claims transgenderism and feminism “cannot coexist”.

You know what else cannot coexist? “Matt Walsh” and “Not Being a Clickbait Douchelord”.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

The Feminist Breeder Is Still Talking About Trolls

Despite last week’s doxing of her latest alleged Five Year Stalker, The Feminist Breeder has not moved on. In a post on Facebook yesterday Gina continued her evil cartoon queen laughing about her big victory over ‘trolls’.

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When any of her fans expressed the opinion that this fixation was becoming a bit tiresome for her readers, Gina accused them of siding with the ‘trolls’. With increasing defensiveness in the comments Gina claimed to have “all the proof in the world on my side”, and when informed that perhaps doxing someone and contacting their family was not the way to handle it, Gina responded:

People are free to contact my husband about whatever they want. Then again, I’m not embarrassed by my behavior.

She then went on to share a ‘cauliflower rice’ recipe and gushed over some Mackelmore baby wearing picture.

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Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

The Feminist Breeder Will Dox People

Gina, aka The Feminist Breeder, troll hunter, has spent the past two years rooting out “trolls” in her “community”. Last week, in her ongoing effort to control access to her amazing world, she informed all subscribers they must provide links to personal social media accounts so she can verify their identity. Apparently at least one subscriber decided to peace out rather than give Gina her information, and cancelled her subscription. Gina promptly disabled her account, at which point the user asked Paypal for a refund since she had already paid for the month, and she still had two weeks left from that payment.

And then everything went straight to crazytown. Gina took to the google machine and dug up everything she could about the person, based on information provided by the user during the Paypal transaction. And then she posted that information on her Facebook page.

Her point evidently not made, she then took to twitter to call out the user. Gina then made the ultimate feminist move – she tried to get the user’s husband involved in handling his woman.

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Gina is claiming the woman has been “stalking me for FIVE years”, and published a post to her blog asking readers for support. The alleged “stalker” “troll” has now responded with a post of her own telling her side of the story.

Yes, I subscribed to her lame ass blog. I’ll admit that. But aside from occasionally snarking her on BBTFB, and asking PayPal for a prorated refund. I NEVER. AND I mean NEVER. interacted in any way with this crazy pants…Apparently, The Feminist Breeder, safely behind her paywall, shared as much of my personal information as she possibly could…she basically doxes, or shares as much of my personal info with as many strangers as possible…

With both sides screaming “TOS violation” and “stalking” it’s hard to sort out precisely what’s going on, but if you’re bored today this should give you some WTFery to rabbit hole into.

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Healthy Living Blogging Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Can’t Work Because She Broke Her Hiney

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Cecily Kellogg, graceful swan and accountability coach, will be unable to ‘work’ for who knows how long. What happened, you ask? Oh, just another brilliant decision leading to another convenient end-of-month work-halting health problem.

I tried to roller skate. Bruised my tail bone and threw my back out badly.

I mean…really what else is there to say here when the mental image is probably funnier than any joke I could write. The amazing thing is that she works from home on a laptop and somehow still constantly finds a way to get out of work. They said it couldn’t be done, but Cecily made it happen. She’s like the Tesla of laziness.

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