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Coming on the heels of Something Navy‘s airline-vs-baby media blitz is Ashley ‘Pantry Twizzlers’ Gardner, who went on Ellen and complained about how she was treated when she was trying to board her free flight.
It’s time for the 9th Annual Shorty Awards, and Instagram and Snapchat thirsties who managed to get nominated are busy flooding their social media feeds with pleas to their fans to go vote for them. And just who are these “influencers“?
Mckinli Hatch, wears bikinis, and her husband, a jock or something, are ready for Halloween. The two blonde haired caucasians formulated a racially sensitive and topical couples costume that brought attention to…wait, what the hell?
Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh. I uh…I’m about the least thoughtful person alive but even I know this costume is probably in really, really poor taste for two white people. Wow. I mean…kudos on being #brave and following your #dream or whatever. Don’t let the costume haters keep you down! Wealthy white people costumes matter!
Amber Clark, the blogger famous for her ratty blonde hair and towering intellect, like, found a lump in her breast. She made the announcement via snapchat through the licking dog filter. She explained that it’s like, a huge lump in like, her breast, but it’s like, been there for months so like, she just now went and had it checked out but like, they think it’s benign. At this point her husband David pops in to let snapchat know he told Amber they could just cut it out there at home because like, their copay is like, way high.
Amber rambled on through a few more snaps about how she thought it was just a nursing duct issue even though the lump like, changed the shape of her breast. But like, they said it’s probably nothing so like, sorry for getting you all upset!
Let’s thank Amber for reminding her followers that it’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and that no matter how young you are you should always bring up changes to your body with your GP as soon as possible. Oh wait, she didn’t do any of that? Well what the f*** was the point then???
Christian (above) and Nikki (below) in their youtube videos
Christian Guzman and Nikki Blackketter, the Ross and Rachel of youtube power couples, have broken up yet again. Less than two months after their reunion the pair have announced via dueling youtube videos that they have split for a second time.
Christian’s video starts off with him reading a written statement.
This past Sunday it was brought to my attention that I was lied to about something very important…to be honest I feel betrayed…I can’t get over it…my relationship with Nikki has ended…Thank you for the support.
He then spends what feels like 37 years trying on shirts and enjoying #legday before finally cutting to a bizarre, rambling rant about how he was “screwed over” in his relationship group and his friend group. He continues by assuring everyone that he is focusing on what he loves – “for me, that’s making content”. He finally tells those “in a situation that’s similar” not to lay in bed and “mope and feel bad for yourself”.
And just what is this situation? According to his once-again ex-girlfriend Nikki, Christian found out that during their breakup, Nikki blacked out after a night of drinking and according to her, a friend took intimate liberties with her while she was in this state.
On a night in May I was out with my friends…one of the friends I got dropped off with at my house, while I was completely blackout drunk, ended up fooling around with me. And I did not know it happened until the next morning…
She explains her side in a counter-video. The video seems to essentially be her answer to the rumors going around from Team Christian fanswoles that she cheated on him with one of his friends, causing the breakup.
Of course all this means it’s time for the sl*t shaming and victim blaming to begin. Nikki’s instagram posts are already filling up with comments about how Christian’s friends “went deep inside them sugar walls”, informing her she is “playing the victim a little too hard”, and helpfully advising her to “Stop getting drunk and cheating. sl*t”. Isn’t it wonderful to be alive in such a progressive, feminist time in history?
But the police are telling a different story.
…the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said in a statement that Mr. McSwiggan had no visible injuries and that it could not substantiate his account. The sheriff’s department said he had been taken into custody after deputies saw him vandalizing a car, and provided a booking photo in which no facial injuries could be seen…[he] was later seen hitting himself with the handle and receiver of a pay phone at the jail and was taken to a hospital…
Mcswiggan claims on his facebook page that he did not lie, he WAS attacked.
I have spent my whole adult life campaigning for LGBT+ equality and did not take this attack lightly. I can not say for 100% that this was because I was gay but I can’t think of any other justification for this random attack…Many people are trying to discredit my story but …[j]ust because there were no visible marks on my face does not mean I was not attacked. Being accused of being a liar and being called a disgrace to the LGBT+ community, a community I’ve dedicated my life to, is more painful than any hate crime could ever be.
He has since been charged with “a misdemeanor count of false report of a criminal offense”.
Jaime Primak Sullivan, uploads videos on Facebook, recently discovered something very weird.
What she found was some random apparent wannabe Facebook blogger reciting her video content in her own video. Word for word. The woman, Monica Dominguez Alvarez, is shown in an edited video next to Jaime’s original as she tearfully tries to pass off some kind of ‘it gets better’ pep talk as her own.
Jaime’s supporters are telling her to fire off cease and desist letters and report the videos, but is there even anything that can really be done about something like this? Other than public shaming, of course.
On her snapchat, she posted a picture of a gigantic nazi flag hanging in her brother’s apartment and her and her friends dancing around it and laughing. A few moments later, she posted a follow-up snapchat saying ‘not my flag’, indicating that she knew the meaning of it and wanted to distance herself away from it.
There was soon a response posted to her instagram – featuring a pic of Shani sunning her legs by the pool – along with an explanation. She claims she had no clue what the flag actually was.
I am writing to issue a heartfelt and full apology for the images of the flag that appeared yesterday on my Snapchat. Prior to the well-deserved outrage I received via social media in response to the images, I genuinely wasn’t aware of the meaning behind the flag, nor the horror it represents.
She went on to say she no longer has “any association with the person who hung the flag in his apartment” and added “Ps. IT WAS NOT MY BROTHER”.
Brandy Wooten, apparently an influential blogger, posted a weird, expletive laden video of herself verbally abusing a McDonald’s employee. It seems they didn’t have Brandy’s fresh baked cookies ready for her on her arrival, even though she calls ahead “every time”. (I would recommend you not watch this video if you don’t like loud curse words.)
Telling the poor drive through woman she is “a real blogger” and intends to “tag” her, she then invites people to follow her on facebook before calling the employee a “raggedy a**”. The employee then tells her to have a nice day, to which the classy Brandy responds “I will, b*tch”.
Welcome to the entitled world of a “real blogger”.
Summer Bellessa, wannabe youtube star, took her potty training son out Black Friday shopping at Target. I know…already the momhams out there are thinking what a fantastic idea this was. What could go wrong?
Well if something does go exactly the way all reason and mother nature would predict, make sure you take a pic of it in the middle of the aisle while your son cries. Instamommies – they’ll make their kid stand around in pee soaked jeans if it means they can post a bon mot on the gram. Happy holidays!
By now you’ve probably heard about the teenaged “Instagram model” who dramatically claimed she would be flouncing from social media because it ruins lives or something. Because the media loves photogenic white girls with first world social causes, Essena O’Neill became an overnight sensation for her “brave” choice.
After posting a bunch of stuff to her social media complaining about how social media sucks (while posturing herself as the Bringer Of Truth) she finally started to get some backlash. In her final youtube video she talked about a trip to Los Angeles, implying she was there as some kind of celebrity/working model being chased by agencies and saying all the rich and famous people she met while there were “miserable”. Unfortunately the folks whose couch she crashed on are also Toobers, and posted a lovely response – the gist of it being Essena was just a broke nobody who crashed at their house and ate all their food while hooking up with their guy friends.
Finally, after three days of people asking why she was still on social media if it’s so horrible, she deleted her instagram account and youtube videos yesterday. Not that she’s actually left social media completely – she’s still validation fishing over on Vimeo. As of this post she has 4 videos up of Essena talking about Essena, with the latest video being Essena talking about how everyone is talking about Essena.
She’s also started a new blog called “Let’s Be Game Changers”, the focus of which seems to be Essena begging for donations, claiming she can’t pay her rent without the money she was making from her promotional gram posts. Guess she should have lined up some income before flouncing out of the money-for-posts gram game, eh?
YouTube Red starts rolling out today for U.S. residents, and since the announcement a week ago vloggers have been flipping out. In case you aren’t aware of what YouTube Red will entail, here’s a summary.
YouTube Red lets you enjoy videos across all of YouTube without ads, while also letting you save videos to watch offline on your phone or tablet and play videos in the background, all for $9.99 a month.
The main issue for content creators seems to be that if they don’t agree to YouTube’s new terms they might have their videos “hidden from public view on both the ad-supported and ad-free tiers”.
Some vloggers have “partnered” with YouTube and will be available through the subscription model only, so if your favorite vlogger has partnered up to be a “Creator” you’ll have to shell out the ten bucks a month to see their videos. However, YouTube says users will “still be able to enjoy YouTube”, but claims “with YouTube Red, you’ll be able to support the people who make your favorite videos while watching what you want, when you want, on any device you want, uninterrupted.”