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#tbt to that warm weather this past weekend. Today on the blog I'll have some groundbreaking tips on how to not be cold during this transition season (hint - layers!!! Do you dare?) #ontheblog #dailylife #lifestyleexpert
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Mandy, attended Northwestern, recently wrote a rambling blather of a post about waking up her old writing teacher in the middle of the night. You see, James Foley attended Northwestern. Mandy also attended Northwestern, where she took writing classes from a professor at Northwestern.
Anyway, the post is basically Mandy trying in some ham fisted way to make the murder of a journalist in Iraq all about Mandy, and that it hit her harder than anyone else…because James Foley attended Northwestern, and so did Mandy, and Mandy is also a “journalist”. Or something. If you’re confused, don’t worry – so was pretty much anyone else who read her post. When people started commenting with critical feedback, Mandy did what any professional journalist would do – went on a buhlete spree.
Over 100 comments were removed, and when commenters complained, Mandy used her Northwestern journalistic training to solve that problem as well.
After commenters began emailing xoJane staff asking WTF was going on, Mandy apparently had a change of heart. Deleted comments are reappearing, and Mandy says it all happened because she had a bad day.
Such journalist! So in the same peer group as James Foley. She then went on to claim all accounts have been unbanned, though many users are disputing this.
Really, how CAN we?
Ann says her tweet was “meant as a hyperbolic underscoring of American consumerist frivolity in relation to the world’s actual problems” so, ya know, get a sense of humor you oversensitive nitpickers.
Thanks to the internet I’m starting to think Shakespeare and Eleanor Roosevelt are the only two people in history who ever said anything.
Some followers were shocked, telling Jen to “offer compassion and empathy, not exploitation”, while others reacted with lols, saying “Are you sure that’s a lady? Haha”. Still others waved their banners of support, telling Jen they see the image as part of her “quest to find what it is to intentionally live your life with grace and gratitude”. Jen basically flipped dissenters the bird, telling them “your rush to judgment and public shaming of me is not welcome here” before posting a picture of a kitten because things “got extremely out of hand in that last post”.
Jen is clearly over the debate, saying it’s been “Such an interesting week. Thanks for all of the really really kind words and for the criticism, too. I don’t know most of you personally so I take both the good and bad with a grain of salt. I love salt.”
Matt Walsh, probably owns a satin shirt, decided to use his platform today to expound upon the death of beloved celebrity Robin Williams. After tweeting a statement saying “When we talk about depression we shouldn’t pawn the whole thing off on “chemical imbalances”", he decided to write a post titled “Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice”.
It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision.
Going on to say he doesn’t understand how religious people can “declare unequivocally” that depression is solely a physical problem, he reiterates that if you take your own life, it’s your fault.
First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand.
But don’t worry, Matt has the answer, claiming “we can debate medication dosages and psychotherapy treatments, but, in the end, joy is the only thing that defeats depression”. Maybe Matt should get in touch with Sally at Already Pretty, since she seems to think you can overcome depression by just getting out of your pajama pants.
I tried to use my thesaurus to find the original English translation of the word “gay.” And guess what? There literally was no comparative word, none, nada, zip! It’s like the word gay no long is to be used to describe and giddy feeling.
JoAnn continued her search for clarity and “thesaurused” other words:
I keyed in the words “queer” and “fairy” and feminine and got the exact English translations to their definitions. So why not the word homosexual? Because for all the whooplah and coming out of the closet celebrations, homosexuals are still ashamed. And IMHO, they should be.
After telling you to be ashamed of being gay, she goes on to admonish you for…not being proud of it?
If you are not ashamed of your decisions, then straight up say so. You announce to the world you are gay? You parade around, or should I say “sash-ay” around, tilting your heads and wiggling touches, looking like you’re available for an afternoon or twilight delight…If you are a man, than for God’s sake, stop acting femmie! It’s gross. Act like a man!!
But don’t think “straight up say so” means you can actually “say so” around JoAnn!
The minute they say, “I’m gay” you immediately know HOW they have sex with a MAN, the only way a man can have sex with a man…I don’t give a flyin flip what you do in your private life, so STOP INFORMING ME OF IT.
It’s not just gay men JoAnn hates. She apparently hates heterosexual women as well, telling them to stop “behaving like gutter trash, like sl*t-slop”, and saying you need to act like a woman instead of a “dike” because “you are telling everyone that you are no different than a skanky, sloppy seconds smellin’ wh*re”.
JoAnn enters the home stretch by telling the internets that she knows “I’ve convinced every homosexual reader that I can be labeled a homophobic. (I totally am not!)” before going on to tell you to stop “acting like a limp dishrag, and a woman with a tool belt” and “at least pretend” to be a real man or a real woman. She ends her tirade by chastising the LGBT community for using “God’s signature as your banner”.
A Rainbow was God’s signature promise to a man and his family that He would never destroy the earth with a flood again. That man was Noah.
Be sure to click over and read the entire rant. It is truly a thing of internet beauty and lols.
Dawson Stone, romantic, has devised a way to reduce women to their true worth – his “Cost Per Orgasm”.
I have diligently tracked my CPO for the last 4 months. It was $44.15, $20.82, $36.75 and $37.20. I recommend that every guy track it for at least a few months to see what sex is really costing you.
He then shames you “beta males” with mathematical proof that he is getting more bang for his buck.
Compare this to your average beta that is dating or has a girlfriend. Imagine a 30-something guy who takes his girlfriend out to one nice dinner once a week, one vacation a year (her portion), one weekend trip a year, plus her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, costs for 2-3 weddings (you are her date and likely pay even though it is her friend getting married) and he could EASILY spend more than $15,000 a year. And what value does he get for his money? He gets to have occasional, uneventful sex with ONE woman.
Stone says he “could do the same math for a married guy but I won’t bother since the numbers are ridiculous”, and chides men who “buy the cow for an obscene sum of money when they could easily have the milk inexpensively or even free”.
While he claims he doesn’t “have sex with a woman unless I like her and truly enjoy her company” he says his running tally of money output versus sex output “keeps me sharp and helps ensure that I don’t let any woman get me to do anything I don’t absolutely want to do”.
So, ladies – what’s your vagina worth? I hope you’re keeping track, because wouldn’t you hate to be too expensive to have sex with?
Just two weeks after Taza posted about her son cutting his sister’s hair while unsupervised:
Miss James pops up with a practically identical post:
Oh James. This is just getting sad now.
Mondays are usually annoying, so I thought it would be fun to give you something to wtf over. Presenting a thread that refuses to die – Halfway to Fearless.
It all started when some n00b opened a thread about an unknown blog called Halfway to Fearless. It was pretty easy to spot a self-pimp, and the thread would have petered out had the blogger in question not posted a response on her blog basically within hours of the thread appearing. Another n00b showed up out of nowhere claiming the thread was not started by the blogger herself, and then yet another sockpuppet appeared in order to respond to some questions.
Finally the blogger herself came onto the thread, at first claiming none of the accounts were hers until I pointed out the magic of ip addresses. She then moved on to saying oh well, her husband had mentioned creating an account. At this point I began to be bombarded with email demands from Bev that I give her a list of the ips and registration information so she could prove she was not the one creating sockpuppets – demands which came through a variety of proxy servers and various ips. She sent me more messages announcing victory, at which point I began sending her craygrams to the trash because ain’t nobody got time for that.
Suddenly a few on the ball hams noticed a curious thing about Beverly’s blog – her recipe posts and photos were directly lifted from other blogs. She even went so far as to add her own watermark to the stolen images. Soon after, her social media accounts and blog were suddenly all deleted and we were informed that the reason for this was a tragic car crash that resulted in Beverly’s death.
That’s right, folks – the classic “They’re Dead And I Hope You’re Happy” fake death routine. You’d think that would be the end of it, until her baby daddy’s fiance came in the thread to let us all know that Beverly was in fact still alive, and an ‘anonymous’ fan jumped in to yell at us some more.
So if you have an afternoon to kill you now have a fun bag of board on boards dafuqery to dig through and discuss. Enjoy!
By now you’ve probably heard (lol probably not) and become outraged (rofl no you haven’t) over the Instagram Mama Drama – Instagram is now deleting child nudity, and the internet mommy mafia is furious.
The drama began when some “courtneybabyccino” account was suspended and “inappropriate” pics of her toddler removed. Internet mommies rushed to create a hashtag and posted naked child pics of their own in support, which of course caused widespread account suspensions and pic deletions by Instagram. Internet mommies love bandwagons and drama, and almost seemed eager to get their own accounts suspended because hello, attention.
Enter “Amerikaw” who, determined to Make A Thing out of all of this, got her account suspended and promptly stirred up a publicity play by jumping on the “Stop Censoring Motherhood” campaign, claiming Instagram is anti-breastfeeding and anti-mothers. Saying Instagram’s TOS constitute “bullying” she then began a Change.org petition to make Instagram change their TOS. The wahvalanche thundered down the mountain, picking up drama mamas like Ashlee who has now had 8 accounts terminated and created her own Change.org petition and posted announcements that she is getting lawyers involved:
Our legal team has been in contact with FB/IG and we are giving them one more day to respond before we make our media push.
“Amerikaw” and a pal have now founded “Mother(Bleep)“, claiming there has “been a recent trend in censorship and bullying of mothers in social media” and had that Instagram account shut down after a week.
I’m obviously at a loss. I don’t understand what kind of human being it takes to be a part of such an evil conspiracy. These people give me and other moms so much grief for the way we parent our children yet they take time out of their day (away from their own children) to maliciously attack our accounts. Mother(bleep) is something @woolful and I have poured our hearts into over the last week and a half and for you people to come in and try to destroy what we’ve created is sick and twisted on a whole other level. You know damn well this is no longer about “protecting our children from p**ophiles.” This is personal and so disturbing. Imagine what your own mothers would think if they knew what obsessive hobby you had. She would be devastated to know she raised such a pathetic excuse for a human. #bringbackmotherbleep
Now the Mommy Mafia has taken to harassing CEO Kevin on his own account by spewing their vitriol on every single picture in his feed and encouraging each other to go flag pictures until accounts THEY find offensive are removed. Which isn’t hypocritical or anything.
In case you’re wondering, that “#ad” hastag denotes exactly what you think it does – Clare used this picture as an instagram ad.
So in case finding a good nanny wasn’t hard enough, I guess now there’s another thing for parents to worry about when hiring childcare – whether their kids will be plastered all over the internet without parental knowledge as part of some sponsor campaign.
I’ve decided to go for the ultimate in home security systems: a dog. These attacks have GOT to stop. Now on my agenda? Finding a crate for a large dog. Also: not dying, because obviously.
She goes on to ask ‘The Facebook’ where she can find an affordable dog crate before responding to other comments asking “What happened to the go fund me for you. Where are your cameras?”, “What happened to the cameras that were supposed to be put up in your home?”, and “Where is the money from go fund me?” by saying she doesn’t have the GoFundMe money yet because she has to first get a mailbox key from the post office (wtf?).
Then this evening Becky announced she had been fired today and seemingly blamed police involvement, saying “apparently being good enough wasn’t good enough during this bullshit time. The lady detective called my boss.”
I do not even understand what is going on anymore with this person.
If you’ve ever wanted to know how to make a super easy donut cake, The Glitter Guide has your answer. With instructions such as get 24 glazed donuts, place on a tray, and “Repeat until you’ve used all the donuts”, this is surely worth immediately jotting down on a notecard and placing in your Pinstagram worthy recipe box right behind ‘Late Night Bacon’.