Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Jen Gotch Tries To Find The Lesson In A Urinating Woman

Jen Gotch, runs some kind of online store or something, was driving down Sunset in her car, which she does not live in, when she saw a moment worthy of instagram.

ohjenno

Some followers were shocked, telling Jen to “offer compassion and empathy, not exploitation”, while others reacted with lols, saying “Are you sure that’s a lady? Haha”. Still others waved their banners of support, telling Jen they see the image as part of her “quest to find what it is to intentionally live your life with grace and gratitude”. Jen basically flipped dissenters the bird, telling them “your rush to judgment and public shaming of me is not welcome here” before posting a picture of a kitten because things “got extremely out of hand in that last post”.

Jen is clearly over the debate, saying it’s been “Such an interesting week. Thanks for all of the really really kind words and for the criticism, too. I don’t know most of you personally so I take both the good and bad with a grain of salt. I love salt.”

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Internets WTF

Matt Walsh Thinks Robin Williams Made A Bad Decision

Matt Walsh, probably owns a satin shirt, decided to use his platform today to expound upon the death of beloved celebrity Robin Williams. After tweeting a statement saying “When we talk about depression we shouldn’t pawn the whole thing off on “chemical imbalances”", he decided to write a post titled “Robin Williams didn’t die from a disease, he died from his choice”.

It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision.

Going on to say he doesn’t understand how religious people can “declare unequivocally” that depression is solely a physical problem, he reiterates that if you take your own life, it’s your fault.

First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand.

But don’t worry, Matt has the answer, claiming “we can debate medication dosages and psychotherapy treatments, but, in the end, joy is the only thing that defeats depression”. Maybe Matt should get in touch with Sally at Already Pretty, since she seems to think you can overcome depression by just getting out of your pajama pants.

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Internets WTF

JoAnn Would Like To Share Her Feelings About Everything

JoAnn, of the facebook group “JoAnn’s blog”, has a few thoughts on the use of the word gay. Actually, she has a lot of thoughts about it. And many feelings too, apparently.

I tried to use my thesaurus to find the original English translation of the word “gay.” And guess what? There literally was no comparative word, none, nada, zip! It’s like the word gay no long is to be used to describe and giddy feeling.

JoAnn continued her search for clarity and “thesaurused” other words:

I keyed in the words “queer” and “fairy” and feminine and got the exact English translations to their definitions. So why not the word homosexual? Because for all the whooplah and coming out of the closet celebrations, homosexuals are still ashamed. And IMHO, they should be.

After telling you to be ashamed of being gay, she goes on to admonish you for…not being proud of it?

If you are not ashamed of your decisions, then straight up say so. You announce to the world you are gay? You parade around, or should I say “sash-ay” around, tilting your heads and wiggling touches, looking like you’re available for an afternoon or twilight delight…If you are a man, than for God’s sake, stop acting femmie! It’s gross. Act like a man!!

But don’t think “straight up say so” means you can actually “say so” around JoAnn!

The minute they say, “I’m gay” you immediately know HOW they have sex with a MAN, the only way a man can have sex with a man…I don’t give a flyin flip what you do in your private life, so STOP INFORMING ME OF IT.

It’s not just gay men JoAnn hates. She apparently hates heterosexual women as well, telling them to stop “behaving like gutter trash, like sl*t-slop”, and saying you need to act like a woman instead of a “dike” because “you are telling everyone that you are no different than a skanky, sloppy seconds smellin’ wh*re”.

JoAnn enters the home stretch by telling the internets that she knows “I’ve convinced every homosexual reader that I can be labeled a homophobic. (I totally am not!)” before going on to tell you to stop “acting like a limp dishrag, and a woman with a tool belt” and “at least pretend” to be a real man or a real woman. She ends her tirade by chastising the LGBT community for using “God’s signature as your banner”.

A Rainbow was God’s signature promise to a man and his family that He would never destroy the earth with a flood again. That man was Noah.

Be sure to click over and read the entire rant. It is truly a thing of internet beauty and lols.

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WTF

Dawson Stone Will Reduce Women To Cost Per Lay

Dawson Stone, romantic, has devised a way to reduce women to their true worth – his “Cost Per Orgasm”.

I have diligently tracked my CPO for the last 4 months. It was $44.15, $20.82, $36.75 and $37.20. I recommend that every guy track it for at least a few months to see what sex is really costing you.

He then shames you “beta males” with mathematical proof that he is getting more bang for his buck.

Compare this to your average beta that is dating or has a girlfriend. Imagine a 30-something guy who takes his girlfriend out to one nice dinner once a week, one vacation a year (her portion), one weekend trip a year, plus her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, costs for 2-3 weddings (you are her date and likely pay even though it is her friend getting married) and he could EASILY spend more than $15,000 a year. And what value does he get for his money? He gets to have occasional, uneventful sex with ONE woman.

Stone says he “could do the same math for a married guy but I won’t bother since the numbers are ridiculous”, and chides men who “buy the cow for an obscene sum of money when they could easily have the milk inexpensively or even free”.

While he claims he doesn’t “have sex with a woman unless I like her and truly enjoy her company” he says his running tally of money output versus sex output “keeps me sharp and helps ensure that I don’t let any woman get me to do anything I don’t absolutely want to do”.

So, ladies – what’s your vagina worth? I hope you’re keeping track, because wouldn’t you hate to be too expensive to have sex with?

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Bleubird Will Also SWF Other Bloggers

Miss James of Bleubirdblog, unoriginal, loves to single white female others. Most recently she copied Drew Barrymore’s instagram down to background and pose. Now she’s at it again.

Just two weeks after Taza posted about her son cutting his sister’s hair while unsupervised:

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Miss James pops up with a practically identical post:

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Oh James. This is just getting sad now.

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Internets WTF

Forum Hall Of Fame: Beverly And The Haunting Of GOMI Manor

Mondays are usually annoying, so I thought it would be fun to give you something to wtf over. Presenting a thread that refuses to die – Halfway to Fearless.

It all started when some n00b opened a thread about an unknown blog called Halfway to Fearless. It was pretty easy to spot a self-pimp, and the thread would have petered out had the blogger in question not posted a response on her blog basically within hours of the thread appearing. Another n00b showed up out of nowhere claiming the thread was not started by the blogger herself, and then yet another sockpuppet appeared in order to respond to some questions.

Finally the blogger herself came onto the thread, at first claiming none of the accounts were hers until I pointed out the magic of ip addresses. She then moved on to saying oh well, her husband had mentioned creating an account. At this point I began to be bombarded with email demands from Bev that I give her a list of the ips and registration information so she could prove she was not the one creating sockpuppets – demands which came through a variety of proxy servers and various ips. She sent me more messages announcing victory, at which point I began sending her craygrams to the trash because ain’t nobody got time for that.

Suddenly a few on the ball hams noticed a curious thing about Beverly’s blog – her recipe posts and photos were  directly lifted from other blogs. She even went so far as to add her own watermark to the stolen images. Soon after, her social media accounts and blog were suddenly all deleted and we were informed that the reason for this was a tragic car crash that resulted in Beverly’s death.

That’s right, folks – the classic “They’re Dead And I Hope You’re Happy” fake death routine. You’d think that would be the end of it, until her baby daddy’s fiance came in the thread to let us all know that Beverly was in fact still alive, and an ‘anonymous’ fan jumped in to yell at us some more.

So if you have an afternoon to kill you now have a fun bag of board on boards dafuqery to dig through and discuss. Enjoy!

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Internets Mommy Blogging WTF

Mother(Bleep) Can Totally Force Instagram To Change Their TOS

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By now you’ve probably heard (lol probably not) and become outraged (rofl no you haven’t) over the Instagram Mama Drama – Instagram is now deleting child nudity, and the internet mommy mafia is furious.

The drama began when some “courtneybabyccino” account was suspended and “inappropriate” pics of her toddler removed. Internet mommies rushed to create a hashtag and posted naked child pics of their own in support, which of course caused widespread account suspensions and pic deletions by Instagram. Internet mommies love bandwagons and drama, and almost seemed eager to get their own accounts suspended because hello, attention.

Enter “Amerikaw” who, determined to Make A Thing out of all of this, got her account suspended and promptly stirred up a publicity play by jumping on the “Stop Censoring Motherhood” campaign, claiming Instagram is anti-breastfeeding and anti-mothers. Saying Instagram’s TOS constitute “bullying” she then began a Change.org petition to make Instagram change their TOS. The wahvalanche thundered down the mountain, picking up drama mamas like Ashlee who has now had 8 accounts terminated and created her own Change.org petition and posted announcements that she is getting lawyers involved:

Our legal team has been in contact with FB/IG and we are giving them one more day to respond before we make our media push.

“Amerikaw” and a pal have now founded “Mother(Bleep)“, claiming there has “been a recent trend in censorship and bullying of mothers in social media” and had that Instagram account shut down after a week.

I’m obviously at a loss. I don’t understand what kind of human being it takes to be a part of such an evil conspiracy. These people give me and other moms so much grief for the way we parent our children yet they take time out of their day (away from their own children) to maliciously attack our accounts. Mother(bleep) is something @woolful and I have poured our hearts into over the last week and a half and for you people to come in and try to destroy what we’ve created is sick and twisted on a whole other level. You know damn well this is no longer about “protecting our children from p**ophiles.” This is personal and so disturbing. Imagine what your own mothers would think if they knew what obsessive hobby you had. She would be devastated to know she raised such a pathetic excuse for a human. #bringbackmotherbleep

Now the Mommy Mafia has taken to harassing CEO Kevin on his own account by spewing their vitriol on every single picture in his feed and encouraging each other to go flag pictures until accounts THEY find offensive are removed. Which isn’t hypocritical or anything.

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I can’t wait to see how this whole omg getting legal team involved trainwreck plays out. I’m not a lolyer but I’m pretty sure a private company deciding their terms of use for their free service isn’t some civil rights issue. But good luck with that, Drama Mamas! Maybe you can get a #wefailed hashtag out of it.

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Healthy Living Blogging Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Clare Will Use Your Child In A Sponsored Instagram

Clare, over at “Fitting It All In”, started a new nanny job this week. Despite the long day she had, she managed to fit in an instagram post featuring one of her charges.

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In case you’re wondering, that “#ad” hastag denotes exactly what you think it does – Clare used this picture as an instagram ad.

So in case finding a good nanny wasn’t hard enough, I guess now there’s another thing for parents to worry about when hiring childcare – whether their kids will be plastered all over the internet without parental knowledge as part of some sponsor campaign.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

“Mommy Wants Vodka” Claiming More Danger

Aunt Becky of “Mommy Wants Vodka“, who has a hearing July 9th regarding her charges for filing false police reports, is back on Facebook today claiming she is still in danger.

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Her solution?

I’ve decided to go for the ultimate in home security systems: a dog. These attacks have GOT to stop. Now on my agenda? Finding a crate for a large dog. Also: not dying, because obviously.

She goes on to ask ‘The Facebook’ where she can find an affordable dog crate before responding to other comments asking “What happened to the go fund me for you. Where are your cameras?”, “What happened to the cameras that were supposed to be put up in your home?”, and “Where is the money from go fund me?” by saying she doesn’t have the GoFundMe money yet because she has to first get a mailbox key from the post office (wtf?).

Then this evening Becky announced she had been fired today and seemingly blamed police involvement, saying “apparently being good enough wasn’t good enough during this bullshit time. The lady detective called my boss.”

I do not even understand what is going on anymore with this person.

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Internets WTF

A Quick Sunday LOLWTF For The Recipe Lovers

lolwutt

If you’ve ever wanted to know how to make a super easy donut cake, The Glitter Guide has your answer. With instructions such as get 24 glazed donuts, place on a tray, and “Repeat until you’ve used all the donuts”, this is surely worth immediately jotting down on a notecard and placing in your Pinstagram worthy recipe box right behind ‘Late Night Bacon’.

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Internets WTF

Ben Wants You To Finance His Luxury

ohcomeon

Ben, a travel blogger, is proud of his crowning achievement.

Through the use of miles and points I’ve been the only independent reviewer to publish reports on every single A380 first class product currently in service.

Well now Etihad Airways has introduced what is essentially a flying hotel room. Called “Residences”, the ultra first class option includes three rooms and a butler. Off course, since the one way ticket for this pointless display of wealth is around $20,000, poor Ben needs the internet to fund his experience:

With only one “Residence” per flight, this may very well be the first A380 premium cabin product for which you can’t redeem miles. This may change over time, but with only one “cabin” per flight it’s highly unlikely.

As a result, it may be a long time before we get an independent review of Etihad’s A380 Residences.

What I propose is flying the Residences product within the first week it’s in service, so I can report on all aspects of the experience. Chances are it would otherwise be a long time before we get an unbiased review of Etihad’s new product.

Because obviously this product needs to be reviewed by some travel blogging scrub who can’t even afford the fare. How else will incredibly filthy rich people ever know whether the fare is worth it!

I don’t really follow travel bloggers but is it pretty standard to have other people pay for your ridonkulous travel dreams under the guise of public service? And who are the idiots who have already raised over $13k for this stunt?

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Mommy Blogging WTF

White Women Will Bring Justice To Africa With Style And Hashtags

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Kelle Hampton, cares about the safety of women and young girls, is teaming up with 7 other white middle class women to bring “justice” to Rwanda. How will they do that? With a trip sponsored by a jewelry company, duh.

This summer, we’re fusing fashion and justice as Noonday Collection partners with International Justice Mission for the #StyleForJustice Story Team Trip to Rwanda. Join us as we journey with a group of storytellers in order to spread the word that when we use our purchasing power for good and pursue the cause of justice, hope for the poor is possible.

They are even having a contest so one of you (yes, YOU!) can join them. And how can you win? Well first you submit your entry, then you get your social media community to vote the crap out of you. Out of the top 7 most voted for, Kelle Hampton and pals will select the 3 they want to come along. Then those 3 will vote beg some more until the winner is announced.

Yes, nothing spreads global justice like jewelry, social media popularity contests, and poverty tourism. I guess Kelle has to do something to win next year’s Iris Award, right?

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DIY Blogging WTF

“Little Green Notebook” Does Not Want Your Constructive Criticism

Jenny, the DIYer behind the “Little Green Notebook” blog, recently posted about her bathroom makeover. Unfortunately not everyone loved the painted black tile and blue painter’s tape plugging and said so in some very straightforward ways.

Well Jenny’s had enough. Responding to the meanies by telling them “it’s not fun to get comments like the handful of negative ones above”, she went on to say:

It’s just hard to see the point, other than to hurt me. So just in case you were wondering if I wanted any “constructive criticism” here – the answer is, probably not. Especially if the point of the comment is just to tell me how unbelievably bad you think the room is.

She then instructed people to “keep comments to only positive thoughts” because “after a while it just starts to feel like bullying” when you negative brutes say you don’t like her rooms.

I’d really like to see anyone in a real job go tell their customers and bosses that they only want to hear “positive” feedback, because negative feedback is bullying. Someone go try that and let me know how it works out.

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