Internets WTF

Ben Wants You To Finance His Luxury

ohcomeon

Ben, a travel blogger, is proud of his crowning achievement.

Through the use of miles and points I’ve been the only independent reviewer to publish reports on every single A380 first class product currently in service.

Well now Etihad Airways has introduced what is essentially a flying hotel room. Called “Residences”, the ultra first class option includes three rooms and a butler. Off course, since the one way ticket for this pointless display of wealth is around $20,000, poor Ben needs the internet to fund his experience:

With only one “Residence” per flight, this may very well be the first A380 premium cabin product for which you can’t redeem miles. This may change over time, but with only one “cabin” per flight it’s highly unlikely.

As a result, it may be a long time before we get an independent review of Etihad’s A380 Residences.

What I propose is flying the Residences product within the first week it’s in service, so I can report on all aspects of the experience. Chances are it would otherwise be a long time before we get an unbiased review of Etihad’s new product.

Because obviously this product needs to be reviewed by some travel blogging scrub who can’t even afford the fare. How else will incredibly filthy rich people ever know whether the fare is worth it!

I don’t really follow travel bloggers but is it pretty standard to have other people pay for your ridonkulous travel dreams under the guise of public service? And who are the idiots who have already raised over $13k for this stunt?

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Mommy Blogging WTF

White Women Will Bring Justice To Africa With Style And Hashtags

white ladies

Kelle Hampton, cares about the safety of women and young girls, is teaming up with 7 other white middle class women to bring “justice” to Rwanda. How will they do that? With a trip sponsored by a jewelry company, duh.

This summer, we’re fusing fashion and justice as Noonday Collection partners with International Justice Mission for the #StyleForJustice Story Team Trip to Rwanda. Join us as we journey with a group of storytellers in order to spread the word that when we use our purchasing power for good and pursue the cause of justice, hope for the poor is possible.

They are even having a contest so one of you (yes, YOU!) can join them. And how can you win? Well first you submit your entry, then you get your social media community to vote the crap out of you. Out of the top 7 most voted for, Kelle Hampton and pals will select the 3 they want to come along. Then those 3 will vote beg some more until the winner is announced.

Yes, nothing spreads global justice like jewelry, social media popularity contests, and poverty tourism. I guess Kelle has to do something to win next year’s Iris Award, right?

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DIY Blogging WTF

“Little Green Notebook” Does Not Want Your Constructive Criticism

Jenny, the DIYer behind the “Little Green Notebook” blog, recently posted about her bathroom makeover. Unfortunately not everyone loved the painted black tile and blue painter’s tape plugging and said so in some very straightforward ways.

Well Jenny’s had enough. Responding to the meanies by telling them “it’s not fun to get comments like the handful of negative ones above”, she went on to say:

It’s just hard to see the point, other than to hurt me. So just in case you were wondering if I wanted any “constructive criticism” here – the answer is, probably not. Especially if the point of the comment is just to tell me how unbelievably bad you think the room is.

She then instructed people to “keep comments to only positive thoughts” because “after a while it just starts to feel like bullying” when you negative brutes say you don’t like her rooms.

I’d really like to see anyone in a real job go tell their customers and bosses that they only want to hear “positive” feedback, because negative feedback is bullying. Someone go try that and let me know how it works out.

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Mommy Blogging WTF

“That Wife” Is Too Lazy For Baths

uh once a week?

Jenna Cole, caring mother, spent Mother’s Day giving her children their ‘weekly bath’. Yes, just like they did in the days before running water Jenna washes her children only once a week. And how’s that working out?

bath2

You read correctly – her son’s friend at school told him he stank. When commenters pointed out that maybe it’s time to scrub her stinker more often no matter the time of year, Jenna simply told them they need to read a book on the “history of bathing”. Asked why she only washes her kids once a week in the first place, Jenna responded with classic Jenna-ness.

bath3

So basically it has nothing to do with her “academic-lite” position on personal hygiene, and everything to do with her wanting motherhood to be as little work as possible. Such an inspiration for “single” moms everywhere!

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DIY Blogging WTF

“Young House Love” Will Photoshop In Some Safety Gear

Young House Love, here, here, and here, have long been getting called out for their ridiculous use of Photoshop for absurd reasons. Now it seems a GOMIBLOG reader found a particularly wtf potential ‘shop – safety gear.

Apparently back in August Sherdawwwwg and The Guy Who Also Does Stuff refinished their deck. (Yeah, I know, I’m already bored too.) Included in the post was a picture of Essbee painting a railing, looking fit and safety conscious:

Stain-5-Sherry-Working-On-Railing2

The problem is, they forgot to delete the original:

Stain-5-Sherry-Working-On-Railing

WOMP WOMP. I’m not sure what the point of this would be, honestly. Why not just grab a mask and take a new pic if your’re that worried about what the YHLoonies will say? They obviously had the masks there for the supplies pic. And since she’s not wearing it in other pics I’m not sure why they even went through the effort for this one pic.

I need answers, people! Why do they keep ‘shopping things for no sensible reason???

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Internets WTF

“American Blogger” Movie Takes Blogging Circle Jerk To New Level

oh shut up

Well it seems that “behold the glory of us” project the Wiegands announced last year is finally finished. “American Blogger” now has a trailer up on vimeo and is apparently “coming soon”.

The trailer claims its “stunning cinematography” will “leave you feeling inspired” by a “movement” that “could change the world”. It then features a bunch of bloggers talking about how awesome blogging is, with the usual such brave, much influential self-back patting. One blogger explains it all by saying ”If we’re keeping it private, why are we experiencing it?”

I’ve said from the start that this entire project just seems like a way for the Wiegands to circle jerk with their blogger friends. This has to be the most self-indulgent tripe that has come out of the blogging world to date, and I don’t understand why it needs to exist or what it offers to the world of cinema. But hey, some hipster got to take a road trip in his Airstream and call himself a filmmaker, and a bunch of bloggers got to rhapsodize about their own importance. Hooray, internets.

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WTF

Hey Natalie Jean Will Kick Off Your Week With Some “WTF Why Would You Say That”

WTF Sunday

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WTF

The Thinking Housewife Thinks The “Blacks” Ruin Neighborhoods

The Thinking Housewife, where white Christian Americans go to vent their spleen about the horrible non-white non-Christian turn America is taking, just posted a charming rant from “Alan”. It seems “Alan” is angry because by golly gee willikers in his day St. Louis was full of white folks, and now those durned “blacks” have come in and ruined it – just like they ruin everything:

The degradation by blacks of what once was a peaceful, civilized neighborhood is a law of nature as predictable as day following night…the reason for that is that blacks will make a jungle out of any town, neighborhood, or city if they are permitted to do so.  I have seen them do this to five neighborhoods in St. Louis where my friends and I lived, played, and roamed at leisure when we were children more than fifty years ago and without ever any concern for our security.

Yes…this guy is complaining that the neighborhood he knew in 1963 has changed. Seriously, are people really complaining that neighborhoods they haven’t even lived in for the past 40 years have changed? OMG, Peepaw, is that you?

Do you think, if we ask nicely, he will write a post about how he’d like to send all cellphones straight to tarnation because they are ruining kids minds with their disgruntled bird games? Maybe he will even hand out Werther’s candies as we sit at his knee!

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

Mormon In Manhattan Noticed The New Baptism Video

OH NO NOT BROWN PEOPLE

Natalie Hill, man getting expert, spent Sunday ugly crying into her pillow over some Mormon women’s conference. But it seems some of those tears were also salty with confusion. Evidently her sister made the previous baptism video clip – but around the 1:30:00 mark, Natalie and her sister noticed something different:

wait wuh

…wuuuuut? Natalie’s other sister chimed in with her feelings as well:

i wut wut

Well, those Hill girls sure are a swell bunch. Such great representatives of the open minded universal love of the Mormon church. Where do I sign up?

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

CheyB Will Tell Single Moms How To Raise A Son

CheyB, “relationship expert”, has already gifted us vaginal citizens with top secret info about men that women “need” to know. Now he is going to help single mothers raise decent man children.

Unfortunately, in many cases, a young male may love his mother to death, but the respect factor isn’t always there simply because you’re a woman. The extent of that respect will be simply because you’re his mother. What he needs is a man who will enforce rules, regulations, standards, requirements and firm consequences for breaking rules.

His advice includes awesome tips like “strategically position him around a man who has power and influence” and finding a man to advise and guide your son because discipline “feels like it’s “nagging”” when it “comes from a woman”.

There you go, single moms of sons – hand your boy over to a man before he turns into a useless hoodlum, because he’s never going to respect a mere woman.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

XOJane Will Make It Easy For Your Abuser

XOJane, where pageviews are apparently more important than people, just published a post called “It Happened To Me: I Live With My Abuser” that details the author’s story of moving back in with the stepfather who she alleges sexually abused her.

When I graduated high school, my only goal was to move away from him, as far as possible. That only ended up being Mississippi. My time in college was miserable…In 2012, I finally left college and moved from Mississippi back to my family home in Texas, where I am today…My plan was to move home and immediately find a “good-paying” job where I could move out and start my own life. I haven’t been so lucky in finding that job. I currently work part-time as a receptionist, and my life is a mess.

In the post, which also features a picture of the author and intense details of her abuse and resulting depression, the author claims “I know that if, given the opportunity, he would abuse me again” before saying the abuse has never been reported.

Do the XOJane editors not wonder for a moment what would happen to this woman if her stepfather found this post, with her picture and all her allegations? Or do they just not care because pageview$?

Update: XOJane commenters have created a fund to help the author get out of her situation. You can donate here. I wish the best of luck to the author, and if anyone else has any resources to recommend please feel to add them in the comments.

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Lifestyle Blogging WTF

“Emphasis Added” Will Not Worry About Her Home

Emily, Olympic level dieter, received some terrible news shortly after her family vacation began.

Woke up to a call from our doorman that a pipe burst. Water has been running for 2 days and flooded our entire home. Floors buckled, ceilings collapsed, closets/furniture/everything ruined.

Of course the family remained on their ski trip and within 24 hours Emily was back to posting duckfaces to instagram.

um ok

On one hand, I don’t know how someone can just shrug their shoulders and say “oh well, let’s drink!” in the wake of total home destruction. On the other hand, at least they aren’t starting a donation drive. It’s certainly a head scratcher.

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Healthy Living Blogging WTF

Healthy Ashley Would Like To Show You Her Placenta

DINNER IS SERVED

Healthy Ashley is apparently not content with simply live-instagramming her birth – she’s now live-instagramming her afterbirth.

Asking the internets whether “wearing an apron” would “make cooking my placenta seem more mainstream”, commenters responded with the usual head pats and talk about placenta smoothies, and CaitlinHTP chimed in to add “I hope all the people disgusted by this don’t eat meat”.

Can someone explain to me why the world needs to see someone cooking an expelled organ? Why is this a thing?

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