Mommy Blogging

CecilyK Would Take A Bullet For The Brown Boys

shutupcecily

Cecily Kellogg, social activist from her couch, issued the statement the world’s media has been waiting for by weighing in on the death of an unarmed teenager in St. Louis.

In her brave stand against that thing that’s currently trending, Cecily stood up for something or other.

 I am a hot mess of seething rage, helplessness, and hopelessness about this issue. I think about all the brown boys I know – my neighbor, Tori’s friends at school, the children of my friends – and I want to hurl myself in front of the bullets yelling, “STOP!”

She showed her knowledge of race relations and profiling by reminding everyone that her daughter is safe and also white and telling the world “We must stop this”. She then pitched in to do her part by tweeting about how sad she was.




  1. Isn't using the term "brown boys" really offensive?

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    • J.Crew Chambray Massacre

      Not if you tell the interwebs that you would put your all your girth between "brown boys" and a bullet???

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      • yvoire

        She would save a lot of boys. Cecily Kellogg, stationary bodyguard.

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        • Oscar

          Good thing I'm alone in the office this morning because this just made me laugh/snort out loud.

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          • SadPandaShirt

            Please. The only thing Cecily would throw herself in front of is the repossesion truck as it takes her TV away.

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    • Idris Elba’s Mic Wire

      Not really. I'm usually pretty quick to notice racism and that didn't even register.

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      • to lazy to log in

        Your username made my day!

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    • Unicorn Cartilage

      I'm black and it doesn't offend me. Sounds kinda cutesy. Yeah, couch activism is annoying but at this point we'll take all of the empathy we can get. This all sucks so hard.

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      • Parkinsons Handjob

        Cecily has a dream that one day little brown boys and little peach girls won't have to use PicMonkey to change the color of their skin. She may not get there with us...

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    • kcarp

      I'm about the most offensive person I know and I wouldn't even say that. Yes that's offensive!

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    • Demonstrable Aptitude

      That was my very first thought (other than "why does she always write like anyone gives a shit about her opinions or feels on matters?")

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    • Itsnotme

      I didnt know "brown boys" was offensive..makes me wonder..calling white people white also offensive then?

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      • Wizened Tangerine Hands

        I bet you thought this was clever.

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    • meeper

      I did find something slightly condescending about it, but that could just be the context in which the term appears.

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    • Beezus Christ

      Maybe she's heard black people use it to describe themselves in some context and she's co-opting it, ignoring the fact that as a white woman it's tacky to do so? I don't know if blacks ever use the term "brown", but in the Chicano activist community that I'm somewhat involved in, "brown" is used pretty frequently. But only by and about other Latinos to whom it applies.

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  2. Wendy Darling Grows Up

    I'm glad she more or less listed all the "brown boys" she knows. Otherwise, I may have doubted her sincerity.

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    • 3d42b32794b5ddaf26d61fd1a6e906cc8f50cc86c489f99d6032f586a3bafa90.jpg

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      • Somi Gomi

        The ol' I have a black cousin so this affects me to my core routine. How devastated you and your white family must be CK. Who the f**k says "Brown boys". It's like when my grandfather says "Colored". I think her response is more racist than the crime itself.

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  3. Maybe IKEA

    She won't even get her swamp walrus ass off the couch to take her daughter to the park. We're supposed to believe she'd throw herself in front of bullets for strangers?

    I'm SO f**king sick of all the signaling going on with these events on social media. So many people talking complete bullshit, just to try to show how 'compassionate' they are. Cesspool, you really are not an east coast liberal. I'd tell you to sit your ass down, but it's not like you ever get up off the couch anyway.

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    • blech hockey jesus

      Gold star and a custom entertainment center shelf for you for your magnificent username.

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    • JuliasTooSmallTutu

      Swamp Walrus sounds like a folksy indie band that wears vests instead of jackets and takes to the stage with bowler hats and banjos. And of course Chuck Taylors. But they're so "unique".

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    • clothespin chandy

      Swamp walrus ass! God I lurve it.

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  4. Mind if I do a J?

    I really need to turn off the internet for the night. I don't think I can take any more.

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    • GOMI - Ruining The Internet For All Of Us

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      • Mind if I do a J?

        It's not you. It's me.

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      • Brenda

        So many assholes, so little time.

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    • Cumberbitch

      I just came here to post that this has certainly been an extraordinarily busy GOMI week for PP.

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      • Edina Monsoon

        Because it's Snark Week! hey-ohhhh!
        Deepest, bluest, the blogger is an asshole!

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  5. Fetched

    #solidarityisforcecily

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    • Hockey Pucks of Despair™

      Remember that one time she spent a whole day tweeting about #IStandWithWendy? Remember all the action she took after that, in honour of that event, and to fight for the rights of all women.

      Haha, JK. She'll forget about this *brown boy* with the next trending hashtag.

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  6. brandiglanvillesreconstructedvaginaRIDESAGAIN

    The brown boys will go nicely with all the girls she brought back from Africa with her incessant hashtagging for one day earlier this summer!

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  7. blech hockey jesus

    Cecily, the thing to do with your helplessness, hopelessness, and utter lack of sense is to STFU before more appalling shit comes out of your Orthodontia-by-Dr.-Picmonkey mouth.

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  8. Doneric Formciotti

    I like how she says "We must stop this," as if she would ever partake in anything other than Netflix, fermenting in her hovel,and Red Bull consumption. Nice attempt at "activism" ,you pink-painted tank.
    Much fierce. Such outrage. Tons bullshit.

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    • blech hockey jesus

      She even got her all caps call-to-arms from Doctor Who.
      4znjd.gif

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  9. crispenclean

    I think I have the name of my new blog:
    Brown Boys I Know

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    • Foobs

      It'll be a photo-blog right? Because pics or it didn't happen!

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  10. Maybe IKEA

    This is the same piece of garbage human being who let her own daughter live in a home without heat or hot water, with a broken window (its FOURTH WINTER being broken and unfixed), through a polar vortex. b***h ain't shit.

    Cesspool, get your own house in order -- LITERALLY. You can't do anything to save a dead kid, but you CAN fix your dry drunk, pathetic life. Talk is cheap and it's all you f**king do, which is probably why your home is in foreclosure AGAIN and you can't make your bankruptcy payments AGAIN.

    You are a total waste of human life, and I mean that.

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    • Yes, but her daughter is white. That means she is safe, no matter what.

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      • She safe unless
        ...you count the no heat in the winter
        ...broken back glass
        ...spoiled meat Cecily left her to eat while at a conference
        ...Cecily tweeting when her daughter and a friend left for the park down the street
        ....no education
        ...living in a bacteria pit
        ...having two parents a breath away from heart attacks
        ...having her childhood home lost from her parents lack of planning

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        • brooks

          Don't forget she could also get raped, murdered, hurt, or killed by a man she loves. People think if they don't see it on TV, then it doesn't happen. People of all races get killed by cops and by people of other races, but for some reason it is not sensationalized in the media, so people think it does not happen.

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        • SadPandaShirt

          She is only "f**king" safe as long as Cecily's mother isn't in the house.

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          • boombalatty

            The absolute horror of having been exposed to elderly and infirm loved ones! #ScaryBasementGrandma, #UnwelcomeMealticket, #NeverLearnedEmpathy

            Cannot wait for that chicken to come home to roost.

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        • meeper

          You forgot
          ... Cecily taking selfies while driving with child in the backseat.

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      • Pepper LaBeija

        f**kING SAFE. #fierce

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  11. Jump Rope Villain

    "and I want to hurl myself in front of the bullets yelling, 'STOP!'”

    Is there a GoFundMe for this yet? Can someone email me the link?

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  12. PoppingBaubles

    She could have just stopped at "I am a hot mess."

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  13. Nopeonarope

    I can't stop laughing about "social activist from her couch."

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