Healthy Living Blogging

Fat Guy Across America Has Retreated Back To Indiana “For 30 Days”

Eric Hites, the Moby Dick of fail whales, announced on his facebook page that he and his albino smurfette friend are now back home in Indiana to regroup. In an endless video featuring his neckbeard and more excuses than a post-Ashley Madison marriage counseling session, Eric blathers about his latest big plan.

We’re basically doing a 30 day bootcamp…I’m going to be working out at the gym AND riding every day. We’re gonna be workin’ on my diet, we’re gonna be workin’ with the medical, we’re gonna be workin’ with the dental, we’re gonna be workin’ on the RV, everything we can get done in the 30 days, we’re gonna get done.

He implies that everyone around him told him to go home and get his RV fixed, his teeth fixed, and see a doctor – presumably so science can study why a man can eat all the “right things” and allegedly bike for hours every day for a year and somehow manage to not lose like a grillion lbs – and then start the “second half” of his “journey”. He also says his goal is to get his “first 50 mile day” and it will be “documented with somebody riding with me”.

He then starts with his vaguepleas for donations; he is “trying to figure out funding” because “funds are rough” right now. He says he is “trying to find ways to raise money without constantly having to ask”. His solutions include “sponsorship possibilities”, selling FGAA branded products, and selling links from his bike chains. He then declares that both he and smurfette “are going to work”. But even with jobs they need to get sponsors because his trip “costs between $600-700 per week”.

If you want to feel like you’re in Ben Stein’s economics class then head on over and watch his video. I did, and I have to wonder if Dr. Phil is somewhere rolling his eyes.




  1. Mazel Tov Cocktail

    The money shot in that video for me was when he said he was losing weight when eating 4000 calories a day, and that he isn't eating enough to lose weight. Or that's what his "trainer" thinks, anyway.

    He has in fact eaten so little, he's gained 38 pounds since April.

    THIS! (70)  NOPE! (2)


    • Jan74 smells like hashtags

      The laws of thermodynamics don't apply to him.

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  2. Suzy Bishop-Shakusky

    Seriously, is the dog OK!?

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  3. Israeli Hand Fart Maestro

    Surprisingly the Facebook comments are fairly negative. I have hope for humanity somewhat.

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  4. Ladycoder Tantrums

    Eric's comments to the FB fans are really really rude and dismissive. He is such an ass. I hope this is his swan song. Dude, get a job and take care of your health.

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  5. MirrorballMoon

    Here's an idea: get a f**king JOB. Not sure about his skill sets, though.

    THIS! (32)  NOPE! (1)


  6. Bikesandtalksimultaneously

    Hello Boss, yea, it's Eric. I know it's my second day on the job, but I am sick from taking these antibiotics, so I ain't going to be able to make it in today. But I still get paid, right?

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  7. He can barely breath (as in out of breathe) in the video of Maddie running in the yard. I'm so sick of reading that their "dietitian" says they aren't eating enough. COME ON NOW. How are they paying for this dietitian?? They aren't found in ERs.

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    • bkn3rd

      Dietician, nutritionists, Beach body coach... same thing right?

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  8. BellyDancer

    Wait a minute. This is the guy I saw on tv a loooong time ago? He doesn't look like he's lost a single pound and his wife is fat too. What kind of scam is this? He must think he has sponsors like someone training for the Olympics. What a farce.

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    • joybean

      You might be thinking Steve Vaught? Many years ago he was Fat Man Walking. I thought this was that guy but it's not. Anyway, carry on.

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  9. MrsSwimmer

    I've been on vacations that don't cost $700/wk. How can he claim that figure when they don't even pay lodging -assuming it's free to sleep in their own RV, right?

    THIS! (20)  NOPE! (1)


    • potatohead

      Rachel Ray should come out with a new show - 4000 calories a day under 100 dollars.

      (Because you're right, what is costing this much? Food? Bike repairs?)

      THIS! (15)  NOPE! (0)


      • fluffyrider

        Cigarettes, energy drinks, gambling, manicures.....

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  10. In 30 days, he's going to make enough money to support $600/700 a WEEK costs, get the medical and dental crap fixed (which should have been done a year ago, pre-ride), figure out why a 500 lb man magically can't lose weight (medical marvel, this one), and he's going back to Texas in the hottest part of the summer?

    Oh. Okay. Uh huh. Got it.

    HAo4C8Y.gif

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    • There is something about him which angers me on a very different level than the mommy kid-shillers, and it's not his grifting. If people want to be conned out of their hard earned money, so be it. I think it's because I'm big (275 lbs), and while I walk 10K steps a day (I love you, Jawbone UP!), and eat well, because of a previous trauma to my endocrine system due to a pharmaceutical drug, I will always struggle to keep my weight under control. And I know some people look down on me for my size, which is why I work 5x harder to prove to them (and myself) that nothing stops me. So to see someone who was handed, on a silver platter, a year and $20K, and who used every excuse in the book to not transform that gift into something amazing....it kills me.

      THIS! (80)  NOPE! (38)


      • Madam Cat Lady the Third

        I hear you. I also get really mad at this guy. My husband also struggles with his weight, he has gone to a lot of doctors, dietitians, etc., and follows every recommendation to the letter and still has a hard time to lose weight. To him is really hard because he travels a lot through out Brazil (from Sunday night to Friday), stays in crappy towns where is freaking hard to find healthy food. He works for 10 hours straight, so it’s pretty hard to get any exercise, but still he tries. He does workout videos in his hotel rooms and began traveling with an extra suitcase full of fruits, nuts, yogurts and such so that he could have something nice and not fattening to eat.

        Then I see this guy who, not only has earned money to lose weight, has all that free time to exercise and a lot of people to support him, but is wasting all that because he is too lazy and has no willpower to change his life. So I also get mad when I see someone who has all this opportunity to do something and just… grifts and gives excuses.

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      • Another Day

        WTF with all the nopes?

        What about this comment is nope-worthy? Can someone explain? Anonymously, even?

        Also out of curiosity, which medication caused the 'endocrine system trauma'? I've been too sick to eat in the past week & have been taking in about 600-700 calories a day (mostly in the form of Gatorade-type drinks). I'm over 300 lbs; you'd think the weight would be falling off, even without any exercise/strenuous activity. If anything, my clothes feel tighter. Very curious to see if it's a medication I recognize...

        THIS! (26)  NOPE! (6)


        • Symbyax. I will still credit it for saving my mental state, but it destroys the body. I'm lucky though, I found a drug combo that worked after a year or so, but in that year of Symbyax, I'd put on 82 lbs, my hormones were fuuuuuuucked (who wants facial hair and ovarian cysts so large they damage fallopian tubes? Yes, me please!), and a whole other host of nasty side effects. There's a reason the FDA has given it a black box warning for two groups of patients so far. (If you want a horror story of side effects, check this out - https://www.drugs.com/sfx/symbyax-side-effects.html). I'm lucky though, most patients in my GP's practice developed type II diabetes as a result of this med, and he stopped prescribing it. Like I said, saved my brain, destroyed my body.

          As for nopes, they're like assholes - everybody has one. Unless you're also on Google Incognito. Then you have two, and...one of your assholes is incognito? I didn't think this analogy through very well.

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    • BellyDancer

      His best bet would be to go to Texas and beg Dr. Now to do gastric bypass on him. If he's a smoker my guess is he wouldn't pass the test to qualify though

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  11. Just Jane

    He has built up too much distrust. He can't change hearts and minds on his word alone anymore. If in 30 days, he reappears on the internet having lost weight and showing that he can ride, then maybe people would be willing to help sponsor his trip. He doesn't seem to understand the way people work. It's shame on ME if you fool me twice, so I don't fall for the grift a second time, fat guy.

    I know incredibly fit cyclists who train year round for the San Francisco to Los Angeles AIDS ride, and they are wrecked doing those rides. These are elite athletes and weekend cyclists. A sedentary person trying to ride a bike across the U.S. is not going to get far without suffering a LOT. And if he can't push through suffering, he won't have any fans (and it appears that he can't).

    People admire those who push through pain, not make excuses.

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    • bkn3rd

      It has a lot to do with pace. I'm not super fit and I tour. I just need to plan for a reasonable distance each day. Never doing 3 days of 140 km in a row again, but 80 km/day for me, is sustainable for long periods with enough and correctly timed food and water.

      I think it's likely he can do a few miles every day. He needs to show consistency to gain back trust.

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  12. Snarkastic

    So this is going about as well as we all predicted.

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  13. Lard of the Rings

    He doesn't even realize he already lost. He wanted this ride to "prove things" to people and it did. It proved that he's lazy and entitled, he doesn't follow through, lies, cheats, makes excuses, can't handle money, defaults on his debts and makes bad decisions over and over again.

    Even if someone gave him enough money to finish right now, he can't make this ride a victory. He's still a loser who spent more time off the bike than on, wasted tens of thousands of dollars, months of time and the goodwill of thousands of people.

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    • roadrunner

      "Moby Dick of all fail whales"

      Classic.

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