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Jessica Quirk / What I Wore
February 8, 2017
4:56 pm
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Glen Coco
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 433
Snarking Since:
November 16, 2011

I love the presumption that reading about her "Successful VBAC" (as she's tagged the post) is the cure for my shitty day. NEAUXP reading about your ~BeSt DaY eVaRrRr~ doesn't change shit for me lady.

February 8, 2017
4:58 pm
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allthatjez
Hamcat
Meows: 190
Snarking Since:
April 9, 2014

Her writing is THE F**KING WORST. 

 

"These contractions were different. I’d call them… primal? Deep into the core of my existence primal. "

 

You know who writes like this? The writer of 50 Shades. It's awful. 

 

"…one of the things that came up was why I really wanted the natural birth in the first place and my answer – bragging rights - later revealed a lot to me. I need to write a full post about it, but let’s just move on for the time being."hammer

 

Who are you bragging to, exactly? You know no one. You surround yourself with no one. Who is going to listen to you? 

 

I felt really terrible for her son while reading that story. This woman is a douche bag. 

February 8, 2017
5:01 pm
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#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13484
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

AnnPerkins meowed
My favorite part, when she's saying she asked for an epidural: 

He reminded me of my plans but also told me I had the highest pain tolerance of anyone he knew, so if I was serious, we should go for it.

HIGHEST PAIN TOLERANCE OF ANYONE. Those ladies who have had non-medicated births? They had less painful births. JQ's was just too painful for her high pain tolerance

 

(No shade to epidurals. Labor f**king hurts. Get one if you want.)

The bragging rights were strong in that post, in spite of the epidural.  I don't know why she didn't say she was in labor for a month, LONGEST LABOR OF ANYONE.  Birth story was very smug, as expected.  Poor Felix, I wonder if his birth even made her top 3.

February 8, 2017
5:08 pm
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#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13484
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

Glen Coco meowed
I love the presumption that reading about her "Successful VBAC" (as she's tagged the post) is the cure for my shitty day. NEAUXP reading about your ~BeSt DaY eVaRrRr~ doesn't change shit for me lady.

Here is the full instagram teaser:

"Beatrix is four weeks old and today I posted her birth story to What I Wore! So if you need something happy and uplifting to read in these uncertain times, you can read about the best day of my life! This photo taken just minutes after delivery kind of captures it all!! Beatrix I love you!!!"

Oh yeah that really helped my day too gee thanks Messi.  The birth of the baby queen has made the world a better place drool.  

And that's so disrespectful to Felix.  So his birth didn't go the way SHE planned it, therefore it's not the best day of her life?  He's her FIRST BORN CHILD, that should qualify as the best day of her life and Dot's birth can be tied with it.  She's already favoring this girl so hard.  

February 8, 2017
5:38 pm
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Alice
Hi Im Alice And Ill Be Your GOMI Admin Today
Meows: 14996
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2008
February 8, 2017
8:12 pm
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all about them clicks
Hamcat
Meows: 160
Snarking Since:
July 1, 2015

I should say thank you to Messi, I am due with my second child (another son!) in a few months and she's pretty much shown me everything I should not do!

I already feel so sorry for poor little Felix :(
Now mommy is the girl she has always wanted everything Bea will do will be perfect in Messi's eyes

February 8, 2017
8:32 pm
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Coco le Rockstud
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 295
Snarking Since:
January 27, 2015

I almost vomited in my mouth reading that garbage she posted today.

Her narcissism at this point is on pretty equal footing with Sir Trump.

February 8, 2017
8:36 pm
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Ive bread great things
Hamcat
Meows: 186
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2015

So for everyone keeping score at home (and I think the only one keeping score was Messi), that's 0-2 in natural births. I can't wait for her bragging rights post. "I desperately wanted to join this group, but since I don't satisfy the criteria, let me tell you why your group is flawed …"

And I'm so thankful my nonmedicated births were not as painful as Messi's! It felt like fairies tickling my uterus. When I think of tough women, I think of Jessica Quirk eating a donut and passively tweeting on her couch rolleyes

February 8, 2017
9:02 pm
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Coco le Rockstud
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 295
Snarking Since:
January 27, 2015

Ive bread great things meowed

So for everyone keeping score at home (and I think the only one keeping score was Messi), that's 0-2 in natural births. I can't wait for her bragging rights post. "I desperately wanted to join this group, but since I don't satisfy the criteria, let me tell you why your group is flawed …"

And I'm so thankful my nonmedicated births were not as painful as Messi's! It felt like fairies tickling my uterus. When I think of tough women, I think of Jessica Quirk eating a donut and passively tweeting on her couch rolleyes

smiley-happy096

February 8, 2017
9:28 pm
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#modifiedWhole30
MEOWGOD
Meows: 13484
Snarking Since:
March 4, 2013

Coco le Rockstud meowed

Ive bread great things meowed

So for everyone keeping score at home (and I think the only one keeping score was Messi), that's 0-2 in natural births. I can't wait for her bragging rights post. "I desperately wanted to join this group, but since I don't satisfy the criteria, let me tell you why your group is flawed …"

And I'm so thankful my nonmedicated births were not as painful as Messi's! It felt like fairies tickling my uterus. When I think of tough women, I think of Jessica Quirk eating a donut and passively tweeting on her couch rolleyes

smiley-happy096

high-five

February 8, 2017
11:59 pm
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ktk585
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 223
Snarking Since:
April 9, 2012

Ive bread great things meowed

So for everyone keeping score at home (and I think the only one keeping score was Messi), that's 0-2 in natural births. I can't wait for her bragging rights post. "I desperately wanted to join this group, but since I don't satisfy the criteria, let me tell you why your group is flawed …"

And I'm so thankful my nonmedicated births were not as painful as Messi's! It felt like fairies tickling my uterus. When I think of tough women, I think of Jessica Quirk eating a donut and passively tweeting on her couch rolleyes

That's what I felt too – a little tickle, then I sneezed, and had a baby! I'm so lucky I had a super painless birth unlike all those ladies who just HAD to have an epidural despite their SUPER HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE.

Look – get an epidural, don't, I don't care, I just can't stand all of this after-the-fact justifying. I honestly have no idea if I have a high pain tolerance (although I'd rather give birth again than have mastitis three f**king times again) and I don't think anyone else cares.

February 9, 2017
8:57 am
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Frozen Tomato on the Counter
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1157
Snarking Since:
January 13, 2013

She already sounds like she took the superior route because she did just get through the birth, she experienced it to the full potential (unlike you people who didn't get the drugs!) rolleyes

I really didn't think she could annoy me more.

Artist formerly known as Original Paintings, Original Tracings.
February 9, 2017
9:59 am
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Curator
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 707
Snarking Since:
May 15, 2014

AnnPerkins meowed
My favorite part, when she's saying she asked for an epidural: 

He reminded me of my plans but also told me I had the highest pain tolerance of anyone he knew, so if I was serious, we should go for it.

 

That line is a national treasure. 



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