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Local Milk
July 17, 2014
2:34 pm
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purple prose and cau

Why is this not being snarked upon?

 

It's just so RICH with snarkable material!

July 17, 2014
2:36 pm
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purple prose and cau

Oh, forgot to link:  http://localmilkblog.com/

 

Bloody (cherry juice) hands! Specific stinks!

July 17, 2014
3:09 pm
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TVP Cocoa Crispies
Hamcat
Meows: 145
Snarking Since:
June 3, 2012

The Kinfolk post got a combination stink/side-eye from me. Pillows (ahem, sheepskins) in the grass = chiggers. I am not coming to slurp oysters with you and leave with red welts in places where the sun don't shine.

 

A meal of everything from…West Indies crab salad with homemade saltines to buttermilk chamomile panna cotta with salted Swedish dream cookies alongside craft cocktails made with the infused spirits…. And plenty of oysters on the half shell.

 

Homemade saltines?! FFS who does that?

July 17, 2014
3:34 pm
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purple prose caulflo

This -  http://localmilkblog.com/2014/07/wander-guide-new-orleans.html

 

I like high-brow literary writing and all, but this is just — so purple prose and empty cliched phrases, all disjointed and meaningless. She's just trying so hard.

July 17, 2014
7:04 pm
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So Sorry, So Sexy
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1346
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2014

There is a thread for this in the lifestyle blogs forum. I said it there but I will mention here that someone I know signed up to go to her weird $80 kinfolk dinner thing in the Shenandoahs.

~formerly known as scuffinmarks~
July 17, 2014
7:27 pm
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meowrose
Hamcat
Meows: 64
Snarking Since:
February 12, 2014

So Sorry, So Sexy said
There is a thread for this in the lifestyle blogs forum. I said it there but I will mention here that someone I know signed up to go to her weird $80 kinfolk dinner thing in the Shenandoahs.

http://gomiblog.com/forums/lifestyle-bloggers/local-milk-1/ 

 

I saw her there and was confused. She def belongs in the food blogger forums.

July 18, 2014
1:13 am
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Mad-Lib Recipe Generator
Hamcat
Meows: 93
Snarking Since:
May 28, 2014

I saw on one of her posts she grabbed some weeds from her yard and stuffed them in a rusty container on her table, took a moody photo of it and called it a "foraged bouquet". Gawd I hate that hipster shit. 

July 18, 2014
3:46 am
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purple prose caulifl

  

Her recipes are hipster (foraged, fancified) versions of HBH –

 

stinging nettle & ricotta ravioli + lavender & cucumber soda + 3 seed crackers"

asparagus benedict on quinoa nettle cakes + lovage mint aioli  puke

July 18, 2014
7:30 am
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Hoon
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 753
Snarking Since:
January 20, 2014

Pomegranate Baklava Popcorn Crumbles said
I saw on one of her posts she grabbed some weeds from her yard and stuffed them in a rusty container on her table, took a moody photo of it and called it a "foraged bouquet". Gawd I hate that hipster shit. 

A foraged bouquet. A foraged. bouquet. smiley-laughing004

July 18, 2014
7:47 pm
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We made it up, but it’s cool that it has an Arabic heritage too
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 591
Snarking Since:
February 27, 2014

I was shocked to find out that this woman doesn't live somewhere in or around Williamsburg, Brookln

July 18, 2014
8:17 pm
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e8888888l
Cat
Meows: 33
Snarking Since:
October 29, 2013

i couldn't get beyond the masturbatory bio: 

excerpt:

So. I’m no Martha or Ina. I’m certainly no Rachel or Paula. But I think that as we’re starting to hunger for real food, we’re hungering for real people. I have faith that there’s an audience that’s more interested in human beings and real life than some staged South Hampton fantasy or deceptively tidy suburban cloisters, neither of which exist. Don’t get me wrong, I like tea towels and bowls of lemons in sun-dappled kitchens, really, I do. And I think cake is swell, grand even. I love the farmer’s market and the flea market, candle lit dinner parties and all of those cheerful, earnest things that seem so ubiquitous on blogs. But what I’m really enamored with is the texture of life itself from bone marrow to neuroscience, relationships to mortality. I’m not interested in an aseptic silence that avoids discomfort. There are messes that abide for weeks, screaming matches, missed deadlines, and ill starred decisions. And there is fresh bread, floral tea, and good work to be done. And there is poetry in all of it.

Living is a glossy, unctuous thing, and cooking is a divine, ancient art. It is the elevation of biological necessity. It is the beating heart. It is an empire built on grain and cacao. It is selenium and potassium. It is kale and cauliflower. It is sustenance. It is actually the art of living. From patisserie to charcuterie to yeast leavened breads to molecular gastronomy—there is no facet of food and cooking that does not interest me. I want to meticulously decorate a cake, cook an entire pig, and sous vide an egg. I like sharp knives. I like technique. I like ratios. I like simplicity. I like rustic. I like refined. I like candy. I like food.

 

Uh… thanks for clearing that up.  You are definitely filling a huge void.  eek

 

hashtag redundant

July 18, 2014
11:24 pm
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purple prose caulifl

e8888888l said
i couldn't get beyond the masturbatory bio: 

excerpt:

So. I’m no Martha or Ina. I’m certainly no Rachel or Paula. But I think that as we’re starting to hunger for real food, we’re hungering for real people. I have faith that there’s an audience that’s more interested in human beings and real life than some staged South Hampton fantasy or deceptively tidy suburban cloisters, neither of which exist. Don’t get me wrong, I like tea towels and bowls of lemons in sun-dappled kitchens, really, I do. And I think cake is swell, grand even. I love the farmer’s market and the flea market, candle lit dinner parties and all of those cheerful, earnest things that seem so ubiquitous on blogs. But what I’m really enamored with is the texture of life itself from bone marrow to neuroscience, relationships to mortality. I’m not interested in an aseptic silence that avoids discomfort. There are messes that abide for weeks, screaming matches, missed deadlines, and ill starred decisions. And there is fresh bread, floral tea, and good work to be done. And there is poetry in all of it.

Living is a glossy, unctuous thing, and cooking is a divine, ancient art. It is the elevation of biological necessity. It is the beating heart. It is an empire built on grain and cacao. It is selenium and potassium. It is kale and cauliflower. It is sustenance. It is actually the art of living. From patisserie to charcuterie to yeast leavened breads to molecular gastronomy—there is no facet of food and cooking that does not interest me. I want to meticulously decorate a cake, cook an entire pig, and sous vide an egg. I like sharp knives. I like technique. I like ratios. I like simplicity. I like rustic. I like refined. I like candy. I like food.

 

Uh… thanks for clearing that up.  You are definitely filling a huge void.  eek

 

hashtag redundant

 

If all of these are so "ubiquitous", maybe she STOP DOING THEM TOO. For example –

 

1. Thinks candle lit dinners are "ubiquitous"? She should explain her twitter header: https://twitter.com/local_milk

[Unfortunately, twitter thinks I should follow this phony-fake hypocrite, so I've had to look at that. Ugh].

 

2. If she doesn't like farmer's markets, she should also explain why she's got A TAG LABELLED FARMER'S MARKET ON HER FRIGGING BLOG.

3. Cheers to you on getting through that bio e8888888l – you deserve drink

I couldn't do it.

 

[I really like food blogs, generally. I mean, a lot of them are stupid but so earnest. I REALLY JUST CAN'T STAND THIS FAKE @$$ PERSON]

July 19, 2014
1:33 am
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Green Tea Milkshakes

Ugh… jeez… more of this bullshit. I am tired of food bloggers using what they think are unique ingredients and having a huge ass head about them. 

 

We get it, you used Earl Grey Tea. So did the person who wrote the f**king cook book you got your "inspiration" from. sfun_deadhorse

 

People who put more time into their photography than they do their food shouldn't consider themselves food bloggers. 

 

They're photographers who like to cook. 



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