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Local Milk - I think she has Mad Cow disease
October 9, 2015
9:38 am
avatar
catfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 263
Snarking Since:
August 10, 2014

brassieres made of dripping quesadillas meowed

catfolk meowed
I just saw this new thread and laughed so hard at the title of it. She is honestly getting loopier and loopier and I feel like she's just about to come full circle and just become a walking parody of herself.

Serious question, do you think she'll get restless and do something else if she's short-circuiting after what, three years? 

I also think that (perhaps) many new bloggers are coming into something that has been established for so long it's easy to get a firm foundation in the design, social media, etc quickly and maybe that makes it boring faster. 

Whoops I just saw this! I think she and her husband (fiance? I don't know if they got married yet or not, I just remember her "we had sex and then he asked me to marry him" story uh) are planning to open a coffee/food place or maybe already have. So I think she's stuck continuing with her dumb schtick as long as her s h o p p e (as her pinterest board is called drool) has the same dumb schtick.

It does seem like she's moving more toward vegan/gluten-free stuff, and also just throwing together random shit to make a recipe sound simultaneously more exotic and more disgusting. Like, you don't need to put rose hips and lavender in that, Beth. Just make a f**king pancake and call it a day.

October 9, 2015
1:15 pm
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SnarkaliciousPork
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1389
Snarking Since:
July 1, 2015

Check your facts, crazy milk girl.

http://localmilkblog.com/2015/09/golden-milk-cocoa-3.html#more-2756

Yesterday, the vernal equinox, my friend Lauren came over

Considering she dated this post September 24th, I think she meant autumnal equinox. Maybe it's all those murder ballads running through her head. She can't think straight.

Yeah, I'm into fitness. Fit'n this in ma mouth!
October 10, 2015
4:16 pm
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Her Vagisty
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 393
Snarking Since:
October 1, 2014

catfolk meowed

 

It does seem like she's moving more toward vegan/gluten-free stuff, 

What? Didn't she get into some shit for some very bloody photos? Now, she's doing vegan? She needs to pick a lane.

February 28, 2016
5:53 pm
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catfolk
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 263
Snarking Since:
August 10, 2014

She's no longer Beth, she's Elizabeth. And she's pregnant. drool

March 1, 2016
1:40 pm
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SnarkaliciousPork
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1389
Snarking Since:
July 1, 2015

And cue insufferable posts about parenting in 3,2,1…

Yeah, I'm into fitness. Fit'n this in ma mouth!
March 13, 2016
1:29 pm
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saoirserue
Cat
Meows: 16
Snarking Since:
October 4, 2013

I just read her "about" page – all the eye rolls. What really annoyed me was this section

 

"I have faith that there’s an audience that’s more interested in human beings and real life than some staged South Hampton fantasy or deceptively tidy suburban cloisters, neither of which exist. Don’t get me wrong, I like tea towels and bowls of lemons in sun-dappled kitchens, really, I do. And I think cake is swell, grand even. I love the farmer’s market and the flea market, candle lit dinner parties and all of those cheerful, earnest things that seem so ubiquitous on blogs. But what I’m really enamored with is the texture of life itself from bone marrow to neuroscience, relationships to mortality. I’m not interested in an aseptic silence that avoids discomfort. There are messes that abide for weeks, screaming matches, missed deadlines, and ill starred decisions. And there is fresh bread, floral tea, and good work to be done. And there is poetry in all of it."

 

Really? All you do is post perfectly composed and styled lifestyle shots. All gray and depressing. There's no life to her work at all. Get over yourself, lady.

March 14, 2016
7:29 am
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Sexy Gloria Steinem
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 225
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2013

What a pretentious twat she sounds ^ I'm in awe of how she manages to put down all the other blogs while propping her own up and being hypocritical all at once uh And that flowery prose … eep.

I used to love her photography and be really envious of it but I'm over it now.  It's so ridiculously over-done and perfect that nothing looks real.  Sometimes I just want to see a photo of the pie or whatever.

March 14, 2016
11:43 pm
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Cabinet
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
December 31, 2015

I literally despise this woman she is so dramatic 

August 2, 2016
2:33 pm
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flugelhorn
Hamcat
Meows: 51
Snarking Since:
August 2, 2016

catfolk meowed

Whoops I just saw this! I think she and her husband (fiance? I don't know if they got married yet or not, I just remember her "we had sex and then he asked me to marry him" story uh) are planning to open a coffee/food place or maybe already have. So I think she's stuck continuing with her dumb schtick as long as her s h o p p e (as her pinterest board is called drool) has the same dumb schtick.

 

So her husband isn't the same guy as the sweaty post-coital cake guy. She left Sweaty Cake for Coffee Guy and kicked him out of their house while she was in Japan. Coffee Guy was involved in founding a couple coffee shops (Brash Coffeebut I guess they weren't doing very well or something because he very abruptly closed the one in Chattanooga. They announced it via Instagram post and made the excuse that they had to close because the staff had to move on to new phases of their careers. rolleyes 

I guess someone else is owning/running the Brash location in Atlanta because it seems like Beth is his career now and they'll be toting their baby with them on all those retreats Beth hosts around the world. They say on the retreats page FAQ that "we plan to travel and host as a family. If being around a nursing mother or infant will bother you, these might not be the events for you." I

August 3, 2016
12:24 pm
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WootWoot Droit Loop
Hamcat
Meows: 168
Snarking Since:
May 19, 2015

flugelhorn meowed

catfolk meowed

Whoops I just saw this! I think she and her husband (fiance? I don't know if they got married yet or not, I just remember her "we had sex and then he asked me to marry him" story uh) are planning to open a coffee/food place or maybe already have. So I think she's stuck continuing with her dumb schtick as long as her s h o p p e (as her pinterest board is called drool) has the same dumb schtick.

 

So her husband isn't the same guy as the sweaty post-coital cake guy. She left Sweaty Cake for Coffee Guy and kicked him out of their house while she was in Japan. Coffee Guy was involved in founding a couple coffee shops (Brash Coffeebut I guess they weren't doing very well or something because he very abruptly closed the one in Chattanooga. They announced it via Instagram post and made the excuse that they had to close because the staff had to move on to new phases of their careers. rolleyes 

I guess someone else is owning/running the Brash location in Atlanta because it seems like Beth is his career now and they'll be toting their baby with them on all those retreats Beth hosts around the world. They say on the retreats page FAQ that "we plan to travel and host as a family. If being around a nursing mother or infant will bother you, these might not be the events for you." I

That sounds horrid. She is really a piece of work for me to comprehend. That whole weird, Kinfolk-y, cultivated slow nesting experience culture drives me NUTS and I will admit part of it is because I love the way some of the food/ clothes / decor looks, but I don't have the patience or time to make my whole life look like that. (Also, I have a real job). 

She is hosting a SOLD-OUT workshop in Nashville for "styling", tickets sold at over $600 a pop. Guess I missed my chance to soak up any esoteric wisdom on capturing the beauty of a bar of goatsmilk soap in a shadowy kitchen sink.swhocares

* * Formerly Crunchy Fruity Poolsnax & GeniusMissy * *
August 4, 2016
3:29 pm
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flugelhorn
Hamcat
Meows: 51
Snarking Since:
August 2, 2016

Yeah. Her family has money, hence why she owns the house she's been renovating for a year, and why she has the money to throw down on custom white oak floors, etc. She's lived there with all of her major exes– the photographer guy she was married to while she was using, the Sweaty Cake guy she cheated on while abroad and dismissed, and now the Coffee Guy. I guess that's also how she could afford to start this career in the first place– I don't think she's ever had a regular job. It sucks that coffee shop closed because they basically got tired of running it, or couldn't get it to turn a profit. Especially since her family has money to throw at things. Brash was actually pretty good, if painfully hip.

I don't get why they used the obvious excuse that they couldn't run it without the staff they had. Like, hire some more baristas. They aren't hard to find in Chattanooga. We've got the hipster trust fund Christian coffee shop thing down as well as Nashville or Atlanta. For someone who talks about community and buying local as much as she does (even though she mostly just shops at Whole Foods) I'm surprised they didn't make owning their own boutique mom & pop coffee shop a bigger part of their marriage/brand (one and the same). idontknow

November 30, 2016
2:52 am
avatar
Pilk
Kitten
Meows: 2
Snarking Since:
November 30, 2016

SnarkaliciousPork meowed

slothscrape meowed
I've never seen a blog before (you'll have to enlighten me, gomi) where the most basic human actions like eating, talking, or to a lesser extent getting dressed are treated with so much gravitas. Every avocado has a meaning. Every word is momentous. I would love to see someone write about a fart in a similar style.

I wished that there was a place that I could go, to escape the dark burbling in my innermost being. It felt like my whole existence was being questioned. A bit of beans…that's all I wanted. Why must it send my body into such utter turmoil. My loins ached at the strain of keeping what must come out in. Eventually, I caved. Releasing the gas in a noxious cloud, capable of peeling paint off of my already chipped walls. Yet, in that moment of torture, I felt a sense of peace, of release. As if my feelings of longing were finally validated. I felt…relief. 

OMG. Can we start a blog together and call it Skidmark + Sphincter? 

December 4, 2016
3:30 pm
avatar
flugelhorn
Hamcat
Meows: 51
Snarking Since:
August 2, 2016

Pilk meowed

SnarkaliciousPork meowed

slothscrape meowed
I've never seen a blog before (you'll have to enlighten me, gomi) where the most basic human actions like eating, talking, or to a lesser extent getting dressed are treated with so much gravitas. Every avocado has a meaning. Every word is momentous. I would love to see someone write about a fart in a similar style.

I wished that there was a place that I could go, to escape the dark burbling in my innermost being. It felt like my whole existence was being questioned. A bit of beans…that's all I wanted. Why must it send my body into such utter turmoil. My loins ached at the strain of keeping what must come out in. Eventually, I caved. Releasing the gas in a noxious cloud, capable of peeling paint off of my already chipped walls. Yet, in that moment of torture, I felt a sense of peace, of release. As if my feelings of longing were finally validated. I felt…relief. 

OMG. Can we start a blog together and call it Skidmark + Sphincter? 

If you do, don't forget the adorable hashtag that will reference the offspring of Skidmark + Sphincter. #babyturdlett #skidmarklovessphincter #bootielovespoopie



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