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Christian Blogger Parents who Adopt from foreign countries.
August 31, 2013
10:04 pm
avatar
graysmama
Hamcat
Meows: 112
Snarking Since:
November 16, 2012

To be honest I don't have too many issues with Tiny Green Elephants other than the embedded music on the site. I've been reading them for about six months and while I am not devoutly Christian I do like them and enjoy reading them.  I don't think they'll necessarily be from problems forever though. Not to be negative towards them but Maria's still fairly young and hasn't been with them that long so I think it's entirely possible they may have struggles with her later on.  Right now they've posted a lot about how Maria says she doesn't miss Russia and that Russia makes her sad.. As she gets older and hits her teenager years I think Maria may develop mixed feelings about Russia, the orphanage and her biological family. Amy and Andrew do seem to genuinely love Maria but I do hope they are prepared that everything may not be roses and rainbows later on. Mostly they are SOMI for me right now.

 

Some other blogs Christian adoption blogs that aren't though:

http://www.andthisonematters.blogspot.com/   Mostly her grammar and confusing posts that make her a gomi for me.  She was going to adopt 3 teenage boys at once but it sounds like they all opted to stay where they were. Her posts are so confusing I can't even figure out what happened. She got a ton of donations.

 

http://godsrainbowsinourlives.blogspot.com/    Child collector with 18 children including 5 she brought home at once a year ago working on 19, 20 and 21.  Just no. 

 

reece's rainbow is full of blog links. Some sane people adopting and then plenty of crazy. others-221

August 31, 2013
11:17 pm
avatar
Croosets in Trendy Colors
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 871
Snarking Since:
August 29, 2013

Yeah, I probably should have specified in my original post I didn't mean it as a blanket condemnation of all adoptive parents who are Christian, just that certain creepily vocal subset that treats it like a mission project or some other weird thing.

 

Not to blow smoke up your ass Katogo, but what you described your family as is utterly beautiful and IMO, exactly howit should be!

Formerly known as Lean In Right Over a Cliff
August 31, 2013
11:46 pm
avatar
Debbie Downer
Hamcat
Meows: 112
Snarking Since:
May 27, 2013

I love this thread. I'm a Christian, and I agree with everything already said here. Adopting shouldn't be something altruistic, it should be because you long to do it, and long to have a family.

The bible says that Christians need to take care of orphans. But this doesn't mean that every Christian HAS to adopt. This could mean supporting a family who is trying to adopt by giving money or giving time. Or being a foster parent. Or volunteering at an orphanage. Or tutoring these kids. Or babysitting for your friends that just adopted. Or praying for the orphans or praying for parents trying to adopt. And so many other things!

That being said, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for four years now. We have always had adoption in the back of our minds (even when were weren't trying), but weren't sure if it was us being tricked by other Christians around us telling us we should (whether to them it's our "duty" or otherwise), or because we really want a family. We're still not sure. So I'm loving this conversation. 

September 1, 2013
7:16 am
avatar
GoodAfternoonGoodEvening&GoodNight
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 834
Snarking Since:
June 1, 2013

Ahh I've been wanting to snark on this blog - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/ 

for so long but wasn't quite snarky enough to start my own thread about it. OMG drives me nuts though, everything always comes back to how amazing God is and how HE is getting them through it all.. it's just so over the top ( this from a Christian girl who went to a very religious school with daily chapel services). 

 

They've just bought home their third adopted child from China ( in addition to 2 bios) and they kind of make me want to bang my head against heavy things. She talks about maintaining the privacy of her children online but bombards us with a bunch of photos, showing a pretty unhappy kid in most of them. 

She also claims to have a photography business but most of her photos are pretty average.. oh and the post that annoyed me endlessly although it's minor - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/small-world-play.html

Basically they spent a day arranging stuff in plastic tubs and it looks like a pretty average kid activity but she ends the post with a huge disclaimer stating 'We DO NOT DO STUFF LIKE THIS every day.  I am not supermom.' It just really irked me.

 

Ahh so much snark it feels good to get it out!! 

September 1, 2013
8:14 am
avatar
windy day
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 215
Snarking Since:
June 23, 2013

I also think of the Mother Jones article often when hearing about or seeing these blogs.  The whole absolute conviction that they are saving children leads to a lot of shady things, both in-country with corrupt people handling adoptions of children who may not be orphans and post-homecoming with lack of appropriate services and disruptions.  There is a troubling tendency to disrupt and then ship the child off to someone the adoptive family knows without going through any formal agency or social workers.  

 

One of the blogs I used to hate was Autumn Winkle – she and her husband adopted two young children with significant special needs at once, from a bad orphanage, and disrupted on one less than a year later.  The way she used to write about him would make you cringe.  The little guy ended up with a family the Winkles knew through their adoption circles, who had adopted 3 preschoolers simultaneously the year before.  I didn't stop hating the blog, by the way, she just mostly stopped writing.

 

 http://noknots.blogspot.com/2011/10/story-you-have-been-waiting-for.html

September 1, 2013
9:01 am
avatar
B***h Eating Crackers
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 713
Snarking Since:
June 13, 2012

I went to school with this couple who has adopted 5 kids now, plus have 4 of their own biological kids. They don't come across as kid collectors that want to save the kids from the world but I do admire that they have adopted so many kids with disabilities. Not every one is cut out for that but they seem to be

 

http://cornishadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/

September 1, 2013
9:59 am
avatar
great but does it spark joy
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3750
Snarking Since:
March 12, 2012

eeejie said
Ahh I've been wanting to snark on this blog - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/ 

for so long but wasn't quite snarky enough to start my own thread about it. OMG drives me nuts though, everything always comes back to how amazing God is and how HE is getting them through it all.. it's just so over the top ( this from a Christian girl who went to a very religious school with daily chapel services). 

 

They've just bought home their third adopted child from China ( in addition to 2 bios) and they kind of make me want to bang my head against heavy things. She talks about maintaining the privacy of her children online but bombards us with a bunch of photos, showing a pretty unhappy kid in most of them. 

She also claims to have a photography business but most of her photos are pretty average.. oh and the post that annoyed me endlessly although it's minor - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/small-world-play.html

Basically they spent a day arranging stuff in plastic tubs and it looks like a pretty average kid activity but she ends the post with a huge disclaimer stating 'We DO NOT DO STUFF LIKE THIS every day.  I am not supermom.' It just really irked me.

 

Ahh so much snark it feels good to get it out!! 

I feel so bad for that girl. The mom wrote about the girl getting so upset, and then rubbing her back, and the girl jerked away from her "But I kept rubbing her back anyway, because that's what moms do."

 

No. You've just taught your newly adopted daughter that her own physical boundaries don't matter, only yours do. Good job.

tired of my old avatar // also super lazy
September 1, 2013
10:11 am
avatar
Lindsay Weir
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 6363
Snarking Since:
December 5, 2011

SmelleKelle said

pdx said
There's a verse, a quote from Jesus, about taking care of the orphans and the widows, so while it may sleeve you out, it isn't coming from their precious little heads.

Sleeve you out?

Ha, sorry. Skeeve is the word I meant, but apparently autocorrect does not speak my lingo.

September 1, 2013
10:16 am
avatar
Katogo
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 210
Snarking Since:
June 11, 2013

windy day said

I also think of the Mother Jones article often when hearing about or seeing these blogs.  The whole absolute conviction that they are saving children leads to a lot of shady things, both in-country with corrupt people handling adoptions of children who may not be orphans and post-homecoming with lack of appropriate services and disruptions.  There is a troubling tendency to disrupt and then ship the child off to someone the adoptive family knows without going through any formal agency or social workers.  

 

One of the blogs I used to hate was Autumn Winkle – she and her husband adopted two young children with significant special needs at once, from a bad orphanage, and disrupted on one less than a year later.  The way she used to write about him would make you cringe.  The little guy ended up with a family the Winkles knew through their adoption circles, who had adopted 3 preschoolers simultaneously the year before.  I didn't stop hating the blog, by the way, she just mostly stopped writing.

 

 http://noknots.blogspot.com/2011/10/story-you-have-been-waiting-for.html

We have seen some horrific behavior by the adoption community. Christians seem to develop this mentality of the ends ("saving" a child) justifying the means (lying, bribing, false paperwork, kidnapping). God wants them to have that child! Any roadblocks are spiritual warfare and they just need to keep pushing on because this is what God wants!

So many situations we saw in our four months in Africa while adopting our sons were basically kidnapping. And the Americans would just pay people to make it go away because "that's just how it works here" which is a lie. That's how it works when you allow shady people to get you the healthy young infant you asked for. There is reason the waiting child lists are full of kids over age two. Don't line up for your kidnapped babies and say its what God wanted.

Sorry y'all. I'll get off my soapbox now. Huscat and I saw the very worst of human nature, greed, selfish behavior, American entitlement – all in the name of Jesus wanting this kid saved! – and it has soured us on adopting again. Which is really sad.

September 1, 2013
11:05 am
avatar
tiny accessory muscl

Katogo said

windy day said

I also think of the Mother Jones article often when hearing about or seeing these blogs.  The whole absolute conviction that they are saving children leads to a lot of shady things, both in-country with corrupt people handling adoptions of children who may not be orphans and post-homecoming with lack of appropriate services and disruptions.  There is a troubling tendency to disrupt and then ship the child off to someone the adoptive family knows without going through any formal agency or social workers.  

 

One of the blogs I used to hate was Autumn Winkle – she and her husband adopted two young children with significant special needs at once, from a bad orphanage, and disrupted on one less than a year later.  The way she used to write about him would make you cringe.  The little guy ended up with a family the Winkles knew through their adoption circles, who had adopted 3 preschoolers simultaneously the year before.  I didn't stop hating the blog, by the way, she just mostly stopped writing.

 

 http://noknots.blogspot.com/2011/10/story-you-have-been-waiting-for.html

We have seen some horrific behavior by the adoption community. Christians seem to develop this mentality of the ends ("saving" a child) justifying the means (lying, bribing, false paperwork, kidnapping). God wants them to have that child! Any roadblocks are spiritual warfare and they just need to keep pushing on because this is what God wants!

So many situations we saw in our four months in Africa while adopting our sons were basically kidnapping. And the Americans would just pay people to make it go away because "that's just how it works here" which is a lie. That's how it works when you allow shady people to get you the healthy young infant you asked for. There is reason the waiting child lists are full of kids over age two. Don't line up for your kidnapped babies and say its what God wanted.

Sorry y'all. I'll get off my soapbox now. Huscat and I saw the very worst of human nature, greed, selfish behavior, American entitlement – all in the name of Jesus wanting this kid saved! – and it has soured us on adopting again. Which is really sad.

Could you explain what exactly is happening in these situations? I hear about it all of the time and it sounds horrific, but I don't understand how it is going down, and would like to know more. Ie: Are people paying ("buying"?) babies whose parents had not even relinquished them for adoption? Or are they kids who are in limbo and haven't been through proper adoption channels yet? 

I appreciate this thread a lot. I have felt so much of what is said here, but any time I say something about it, people look at me like I have two heads. I have adopted siblings and always expected that I would adopt as well. But I am so leery now, really afraid of being unknowingly complicit in something awful. 

September 1, 2013
11:38 am
avatar
Debbie Downer
Hamcat
Meows: 112
Snarking Since:
May 27, 2013

windy day said
I also think of the Mother Jones article often when hearing about or seeing these blogs.  The whole absolute conviction that they are saving children leads to a lot of shady things, both in-country with corrupt people handling adoptions of children who may not be orphans and post-homecoming with lack of appropriate services and disruptions.  There is a troubling tendency to disrupt and then ship the child off to someone the adoptive family knows without going through any formal agency or social workers.  

 

One of the blogs I used to hate was Autumn Winkle – she and her husband adopted two young children with significant special needs at once, from a bad orphanage, and disrupted on one less than a year later.  The way she used to write about him would make you cringe.  The little guy ended up with a family the Winkles knew through their adoption circles, who had adopted 3 preschoolers simultaneously the year before.  I didn't stop hating the blog, by the way, she just mostly stopped writing.

 

 http://noknots.blogspot.com/2011/10/story-you-have-been-waiting-for.html

So awful. I am a Christian, and I can't stand this story. So sad. I don't understand it! If they wanted a child simply for the reason of loving him and expanding their family, then the disruption wouldn't have happened. Kids should not be likened to dogs or cats that you adopt and can give back if they don't fit in. I even hate it when dogs and cats are re-homed because of "not fitting in". If a kid (or a dog) doesn't fit in with your family, there's something wrong with how you're raising your family, and your morals are all screwed up. End of story. 

I am glad that Yuri found a good place, though. Thank God.

September 1, 2013
11:57 am
avatar
topsecretusername

windy day said
I also think of the Mother Jones article often when hearing about or seeing these blogs.  The whole absolute conviction that they are saving children leads to a lot of shady things, both in-country with corrupt people handling adoptions of children who may not be orphans and post-homecoming with lack of appropriate services and disruptions.  There is a troubling tendency to disrupt and then ship the child off to someone the adoptive family knows without going through any formal agency or social workers.  

 

One of the blogs I used to hate was Autumn Winkle – she and her husband adopted two young children with significant special needs at once, from a bad orphanage, and disrupted on one less than a year later.  The way she used to write about him would make you cringe.  The little guy ended up with a family the Winkles knew through their adoption circles, who had adopted 3 preschoolers simultaneously the year before.  I didn't stop hating the blog, by the way, she just mostly stopped writing.

 

 http://noknots.blogspot.com/2011/10/story-you-have-been-waiting-for.html

WOW. Just read through this post and it's realllllly something. Interesting that she claims at the end that the children remaining in her home were exactly as much as she could handle, and yet she had another baby less than a year later.

I've said this before, but I'm so sick of reading posts from people who claim they had absolutely no idea attachment issues were a real and serious possibility with adopted kids. You spend tens of thousands of dollars and months/years of effort to adopt internationally, but can't be bothered to google "psychological issues in adoption"?

September 1, 2013
12:06 pm
avatar
FatPanda
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 474
Snarking Since:
April 16, 2012

topsecretusername said 

I've said this before, but I'm so sick of reading posts from people who claim they had absolutely no idea attachment issues were a real and serious possibility with adopted kids. You spend tens of thousands of dollars and months/years of effort to adopt internationally, but can't be bothered to google "psychological issues in adoption"?

 

As am I. We're in the early stages of domestic adoption, and as part of our home study we had to take a MINIMUM of ten hours of training. The recommended course package we bought is literally called "Tough Starts" and talks about how the attachment process with adopted children–even ones adopted as infants–is different. It requires more creativity and patience from the parent, and more understanding of setting and respecting boundaries for both the child and parent. These stories only serve to highlight that these families are not working with people who are ethical or professional, and it's a perfect storm of corruption/arrogance/ignorance that these poor kids are getting caught in.



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