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Christian Blogger Parents who Adopt from foreign countries.
September 1, 2013
6:37 pm
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topsecretusername

Queen Elizabeth said
Anyone know what happened to Watching the Waters? She had an article on Motherlode (NY Times) a few years ago, and a long blog archive, but she seems to have deleted it.

I'm pretty sure their family had a second disruption (I know for sure they had one) and she deleted after that. I could be misremembering. 

September 1, 2013
6:40 pm
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windy day
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 215
Snarking Since:
June 23, 2013

This is another blog I mean to link – they have not disrupted on any of their children, but also epitomize poorly qualified, religiously driven adopting parents.  They're older, are raising some of their grandchildren, and adopted 6 children with Down Syndrome, and have guardianship, with a plan for adoption, of a little girl with Sotos Syndrome.  They post photos and medical info of the little girl, who isn't legally adopted yet, and homeschool (and do their own PT/OT without professionals) all the children in their tiny house.

The house may not seem so tiny except for the fact that their employment is running a group home in it for adults with special needs, so there are 14 people living in the house – the blogger, her husband, and the assorted children and adults with developmental disabilities they are responsible for.  

For a taste of how aware of adoption issues they are, a recent quote about their 18 year old's birthday says the child's "growth was affected by his heart, he is 4' 11" and 130 pounds of muscle. That muscle due to his black heritage has meant he has had very little hypotonia."

 

The house:  http://theroaddownhome.blogspot.com/2013/02/how-we-make-room-our-house.html

September 1, 2013
6:43 pm
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Queen Elizabeth
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 290
Snarking Since:
March 15, 2012

topsecretusername said

Queen Elizabeth said
Anyone know what happened to Watching the Waters? She had an article on Motherlode (NY Times) a few years ago, and a long blog archive, but she seems to have deleted it.

I'm pretty sure their family had a second disruption (I know for sure they had one) and she deleted after that. I could be misremembering. 

Rough. I felt so bad for them — parents and kids. Having read that blog it seems nearly impossible to be sufficiently prepared for everything that can go wrong in adoption.

September 1, 2013
6:47 pm
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Croosets in Trendy Colors
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 871
Snarking Since:
August 29, 2013

eeejie said
Ahh I've been wanting to snark on this blog - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/ 

for so long but wasn't quite snarky enough to start my own thread about it. OMG drives me nuts though, everything always comes back to how amazing God is and how HE is getting them through it all.. it's just so over the top ( this from a Christian girl who went to a very religious school with daily chapel services). 

 

They've just bought home their third adopted child from China ( in addition to 2 bios) and they kind of make me want to bang my head against heavy things. She talks about maintaining the privacy of her children online but bombards us with a bunch of photos, showing a pretty unhappy kid in most of them. 

She also claims to have a photography business but most of her photos are pretty average.. oh and the post that annoyed me endlessly although it's minor - http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/small-world-play.html

Basically they spent a day arranging stuff in plastic tubs and it looks like a pretty average kid activity but she ends the post with a huge disclaimer stating 'We DO NOT DO STUFF LIKE THIS every day.  I am not supermom.' It just really irked me.

 

Ahh so much snark it feels good to get it out!! 

 

Wait a hot minute…

 

The girl they adopted is 13.. and her name is Carlee???

 

Did they give her that name?

 

Because that is f**ked up. It's one thing to rename like, a one or two year old but by 13 years old a kid's sense of identity in their name is pretty much solidified. I get offering her an anglicized name IF SHE WANTS IT but why the hell would you adopt a tween/teen and not just keep their native name? What's wrong with her Chinese name aka the name she's been called her whole life? I would hate a family who did that to me if I were in her shoes.

Formerly known as Lean In Right Over a Cliff
September 1, 2013
6:49 pm
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Croosets in Trendy Colors
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 871
Snarking Since:
August 29, 2013

Also do they try to make her call them mom or dad? Again, at that age I'd think that's something you'd ease into when the kid's ready, not just show up on the scene, take the kid out of their country to yours into your strange home and be like "CALL ME MAMA AND HIM DADDY!!!"

 

These people suck.

Formerly known as Lean In Right Over a Cliff
September 1, 2013
7:02 pm
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GoodAfternoonGoodEvening&GoodNight
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 852
Snarking Since:
June 1, 2013

^^^^ sorry can't quote on my phone but YES I find it so odd as well.. Why not wait and see what she wants to call them? And what she would like to be called?? At 13 her relationship with them will be so different to that of a small child being adopted.. I know they are saying that mentally she's a little young but I wonder how much of that is the language barrier? Or her interest in toys the would be a little novel to her? That doesn't mean she is as 'young' as a little girl..
The horrible post from Carlee's( who I believe has gone by MingWei until recently) gotcha day really upset me.. There's a bit about a supposedly sweet moment between Carlee and her new adoptive mother and how the Mom puts a necklace on her and gives her temple a quick kiss and how it meant to much to the Mom.. But there are about ten pictures to document it!! Seriously at 13 she's been taken to the other side of the world ( which I realise is a necessary part of the process) but is then re-named, photographed constantly and told to call strangers 'Mom and Dad'.
No wonder she has some 'undesirable' behaviour- who wouldn't be freaking out??

I really am worried for that poor girl and hope everything works out OK but it seems to me her new parents need to have a little more respect for her and her situation.

September 1, 2013
7:26 pm
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Si

SuperCynical1 said
"Kid collectors" also give me the creeps.  I read of a family who adopted FIVE unrelated older children with Down syndrome from eastern Europe at once. That just seems like a recipe for disaster to me.  The response to these situations from other blogs is always about how "godly" the family is for bringing home so many kids at once.  The attitude seems to be that the more kids you bring home at once.  You should adopt because you wholeheartedly want to, not to fuel your selfish desire to collect more children and spread your religion.  Not that having a large adopted family can't work, but intentions are everything.

 

The adopting many kids with multiple disabilities makes me really give people the side eye. Have you seen that interview, I think it's a family in NJ, and they have 5 kids, that they bred themselves, and all of them have mild-severe autism. Their house is trashed, mom admits that husband and wife are just two ships passing in the night, just trying to keep their heads above water. Those people live one of the hardest lives I've ever seen. So I think that it's great that some will adopt 1 or 2 kids with disabilities. Any more than that and you have some type of martyr complex, unless you're incredibly wealthy and can hire people to help you.

September 1, 2013
7:31 pm
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Bartonellosis

This is really resonating with me. I have several uber Christian Facebook friends who have gone this route. I've noticed this trend, but I felt like I was being too mean- spirited or cynical for criticizing them. Most of them have other children and for them it's not a matter of infertility. They are all soliciting donations for adoption, travel, and supplies costs. It makes me wonder how they are affording their pre-existing children, plus saving for college/retirement, etc. if they don't have enough money to purchase clothes, etc. for the adoptee. I also wonder if they would be doing it at all if they couldn't post about it on Facebook, share it on blogs, and brag about it at church. The kids they are adopting are all of a different race or ethnicity and usually have some sort of minor, yet noticeable physical disability. I think the attention they get is a BIG part of why they're doing it. "Oh look at me! I'm so Christian that I'm adopting a heathen child who isn't white and is also a little damaged and I'm giving them an amazing opportunity to grow up as Christians in the good old U.S. of A! I'm so godly and awesome!" It feels like a trend and I really question my friends' motives and whether they're even aware of them. That said, I'd like to think that most people have good intentions, are loving parents, and are truly giving these kids a shot at a better life. I'm just sick of hearing about it!

September 1, 2013
7:44 pm
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BindsTheTuna
Hamcat
Meows: 104
Snarking Since:
January 31, 2012

It is totally a trend among *certain* evangelical Christian communities. My hair stylist (also a friend) adopted an African-American little girl domestically and their whole reasoning was that since the church was !@adopted as children of God, then one of the missions of the church should be the adoption of children. (The poorer/blacker/foreigner the better, even though they don't SAY that.) Their fundraiser (because there is ALWAYS a fundraiser) was stickers and t-shirts that said "Adopted By Blood.'

Also, the agency she and her husband used is hella sketchy. They've had problems galore here with regards to not getting the father to sign off and with pressuring birth moms to waive the 10-day change-your-mind time and knock it down to 5 days. All in the name of "choosing life" and "building families for Christ."

September 1, 2013
8:01 pm
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urchinflowchart
Hamcat
Meows: 173
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2013

These people are "kid collectors"  http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/

 

Somewhere on the blog she writes a post about how she is not a kid collector and blahdity blah, blah, blah she just has love in her heart.  

 

Um, yeah you are a kid collector.  How is going from one orphanage to a home with 15 adopted siblings that much different than an orphanage?  Yeah, I get it: food, clothes the basics.  I just feel something is missing.  A family unit should be intimate and when you are basically running a glorified orphanage from your home it just seems to me to be an assembly line.  Plus this women is always patting herself on the back about how she takes a few (5-6 kids) out at a time for activities.  Shit, lady. Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back for doing what parents are supposed to do.

 

As for http://ourjourneyofdreams.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/small-world-play.html when the f**k did normal childhood pretend play become something so different it required a disclaimer?  Again doing what parents are supposed to do.  Sparking the imagination in kids and allowing them to have hours and hours to play.others-221

 

Feels good to snark

September 1, 2013
9:09 pm
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sara.bellum
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 853
Snarking Since:
November 6, 2012

Here's another blog – someone I sort of grew up with (friend of friend of friend) – http://www.a2ndgenerationofhomeschooling.com/ I believe they're at 7 bio kids and 3 adopted. Complete with a much older adopted daughter to do work around the house.

(Heads up – they are big pro-life activists so expect lots of graphic abortion pics)

September 1, 2013
11:06 pm
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Member Since May 2012
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1581
Snarking Since:
May 5, 2012

You could look at it like this: you might not like the Jesus motivation, but it's been a long held tenent of evangelical Christianity that they should help the orphans. So it's not all that new, we just know more about it because of the Internet.

That having been said, I know some people who adopted three abused and neglected kids from foster care. Those kids are so messed up and that family has had hell on earth from day one. I think a lot of people glamorize adoption when the reality is something far different.

Not cracking on anyone who does it, but God bless them, it can be extremely hard.

Formerly ____________
September 1, 2013
11:42 pm
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urchinflowchart
Hamcat
Meows: 173
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2013

Having your kids hand out materials at an abortion clinic is disgusting. If you want to protest, leave your kids at home.



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