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Eric Hites / Fat Guy Across America / FGAA
January 9, 2017
1:21 pm
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I will never Leave Indiana
Hamcat
Meows: 77
Snarking Since:
August 23, 2016

It's cauliflower, not KULFLOUR you dumbf**k! geezez are they stupid. 

"Stop it! Stop it. You're being a complete tool right now. I need you to be a complete asshole"
January 9, 2017
1:55 pm
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Maddie
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1015
Snarking Since:
November 17, 2015

Help.  I'm being help captive against my will.

Do all dogs have owners like this..??
January 9, 2017
2:10 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2675
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

Maddie meowed
Help.  I'm being help captive against my will.

Have they changed your diaper today? Have they changed their own?

 

He is such a colossal moron. Truly the 500 pound king of his kind.

 

Karen  I've made it a few times. Comes out better using a silpat. It's so good though.

Fat Guy Across America Parchment paper works well too, but that type of mat is ideal and worth getting, they have silicone mats too.

 

Silpats ARE silicone, dipshit. It's right there in the name- SILpat. Much chef, very writer, etc.

You could literally eat healthier from a dumpster than these two eat at home on someone else's dollar.

 

ETA! He's lost exactly 100 followers since January 2 sani_elephantdance

Now with 30% more sanctimony!
January 9, 2017
3:30 pm
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RanchoRelaxo
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 550
Snarking Since:
February 28, 2014

It is so cute when Eric tries to come off as an expert on things he knows nothing about. Was the pizza tutorial supposed to be part of the "healthy eating" videos that he was "working with a trainer" on? If so, there is no way that a trainer would sign off on that. Once again, he has gotten most of the people on his page talking about something else rather than the fact that Eric should be riding a flipping bike.

Annnd, once again Eric tries to change the narrative –

Frank XX: I don't think his intent was to mock anyone, but they get mocked on everything they post, even the non-ride posts. Angie posts about spending the day with her mother in law and gets mocked on all the other pages. They haven't accepted money for a long time, so people are just being rude now. If you don't like the page, don't come to it.
Bru XX:  "even" the non ride posts? I've missed the ride posts, I.e the whole point of this page, a fat guy traveling across America. I thought it was an inspiring story to start, but now it's just weird
FGAA: They will come, its a journey, journeys have bumps, sometimes things happen and so do delays. And it's not and never has been ONLY about riding a bicycle.
 
FGAA: If you want only bicycle posts join a cycling community. There will be more than just cycling posts. When I broke down in the beginning a was about to start walking. It could have been completly different.
 
Bru XX: I want Eric succeeds in riding across America and loses weight posts, trust me I didn't come here due to an interest in cycling.
 
 
January 9, 2017
3:45 pm
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beenieweenie
Cat
Meows: 26
Snarking Since:
June 23, 2016

Maddie borrowed one of Angie's diapers.I can't stomach that woman.Every time I hear her talk I want to vomit.puke

January 9, 2017
4:51 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2675
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

HEY! Eric drove a pizza shop his parents bought for him into the ground. He's an expert on how to make really shitty pizza.

BUT UH yeah. It went from making videos on teaching  the portly and impoverished how to eat "healthy" on very little money to ostensibly making low carb pizza crust by adding carbs to it, because low carb! He wanted to jump on the cauliflower train (which needs to stop BTW) (toot toot!) and Eric being Eric, completely defeated the purpose of forcing yourself to eat pizza made with cauliflower by adding corn meal.   

ERIC ERIC ERIC! Lissen… there is no point in eating a low carb something if everything else you eat is all carb everything. Idiot. IDIOT.

Now with 30% more sanctimony!
January 9, 2017
5:02 pm
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Maddie
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1015
Snarking Since:
November 17, 2015

Crazy wife and I are sharing panties.

Eric's are XXXXXXXXXX size - a bit too big. 

Do all dogs have owners like this..??
January 9, 2017
5:31 pm
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Angelo
Hamcat
Meows: 156
Snarking Since:
February 5, 2016

Toot Toot , engineer Eric… I love that!

Hey, wait a minute. Wasn't that raw bacon they put on top of that pizza? I guess that's why they salted it so much… 

That bacon grease will be tasty and hold it all together.

I guess that's how the hillbillies do "Cali-Crust Pizza"puke

I bet they ate poppa's tortilla pizza as well…….no use letting it get cold.

I think we know were all that wait/weight is coming from……all that salt and sodas…..

Somebody should pop the fatty like a balloon. I betcha it's all water in there….water on the brain as well.

 

Eric is looking a bit pale. Should get out in the Dallas sunshine and get his groove on….

 

Maddy will run away and get knocked up any day now…. Some big pit bull is going to rip those pants right off  and hold her face into a pillow and……..dancinglemon

January 9, 2017
8:07 pm
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Bikesandtalksimultaneously
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1792
Snarking Since:
October 21, 2015

Maybe when Angie becomes a Grandmaw she can show us how to make egg noodles

January 9, 2017
8:43 pm
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Evil Twin Maric
Cat
Meows: 15
Snarking Since:
August 15, 2016

RanchoRelaxo meowed

It is so cute when Eric tries to come off as an expert on things he knows nothing about. Was the pizza tutorial supposed to be part of the "healthy eating" videos that he was "working with a trainer" on? If so, there is no way that a trainer would sign off on that. Once again, he has gotten most of the people on his page talking about something else rather than the fact that Eric should be riding a flipping bike.

Annnd, once again Eric tries to change the narrative –

His "Vegan Stew" post was typical. He tries so hard, but everyone complains about everything he does…

My favorite comment, which was posted this morning but of course since deleted, was on the lines of "You're awfully smug for someone 300# overweight."

January 9, 2017
9:43 pm
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beenieweenie
Cat
Meows: 26
Snarking Since:
June 23, 2016

Him and his wife are both pukes. I have stage 4 breast cancer which has spread into my bones and I am very productive everyday.I also never asked anyone for a dime not even when I ran out of lettuce. Get over yourselves Mr. and Mrs. Shit Stain.bye

January 9, 2017
9:49 pm
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Kath Day-Knight
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
January 4, 2017

That cauliflower pizza reminded me of Prissy Melissa's super healthy low carb grease meals- just needed a paper plate!

January 10, 2017
1:40 am
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fluffyrider
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 236
Snarking Since:
April 14, 2016

Hey Angelo don't insult hillbillies by comparing our lard gargling duo to them! Hillbillies have much more upside.



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