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Operation Skinny Jeans
January 9, 2017
3:01 pm
avatar
400 lb hole of suck
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 397
Snarking Since:
September 24, 2016

4 Year Plateau meowed

Ps- after being a Beachbody "coach" for OVER TWO YEARS, you should not be just now able to do a burpee… Or something that slightly resembles one. hammer

 

That "burpee" was beyond sad. 

And to think, you too could double your fake burpees in a few months with only several hundred dollars in fakeology and bb programs.  Never mind a little portion to go straight to Jess's already padded bottom line. Help a mermaid out.

January 9, 2017
3:42 pm
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SirSnarksaLot
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 338
Snarking Since:
June 26, 2014

Fakeology. Omg I die. I think I might have to change my username.

January 9, 2017
3:43 pm
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 5787
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

Future Doctor Couture meowed

4 Year Plateau meowed
Oh and NINE DAYS WITHOUT WORKING OUT DOES NOT A COACH MAKE.

 

Yikes – can't even motivate herself to workout one or two of the first 9 days of a new diet/exercise program (that also happens to start the first of the year – when almost everyone seems to at least start some of their fitness related goals)?  Maybe she should reconsider the caffeine thing… coffeeidontknow

ISN'T THE APPEAL OF BEACHBODY IS THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?

She has the DVDs. She can stream the workouts. She can get up earlier while Handy Andy is home to help with the baby if she needs him to.

But no, Fitness Financial Planner Mermaid can't manage to schedule even a measly 15 minute express workout most days?

I'll bet she has the time to bundle up baby and order a sugar-free, Whole30-ish meal from Chipotle most days though rolleyes

January 9, 2017
4:28 pm
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From500toJealoushater
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 364
Snarking Since:
May 17, 2016

ohemgee…those "burpies" !!!!! 

 

lmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmaolmao

January 9, 2017
4:40 pm
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4 Year Plateau
Cat
Meows: 44
Snarking Since:
September 5, 2014

And her ONLY child still naps. For 2 hours, apparently. She didn't plan workout time, because SURPRISE!  She didn't WANT to workout. No skewed Jesstyle math needed there ;)

You'd think she'd be highly motivated by her recently set 50 lbs in under 4 months weight loss goal…  somehow I don't think a flailing burpee attempt once every 9 days is going to get her there. Core DE Farce. Fakeology. BeachedWhaleBody.  

January 9, 2017
4:44 pm
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400 lb hole of suck
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 397
Snarking Since:
September 24, 2016

she doesn't need motivation.  She has fakeo and her whole 30ish. PLUS SHE CAN DO 4, count em 4 whole burpees!!!! How she isn't at goal weight already is beyond me.

January 9, 2017
4:48 pm
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Snickerdoodling the facts
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 347
Snarking Since:
July 12, 2012

Ugh, I typed another long screed about her, but you know? It's all been said. She acts as if she is somehow different from every other person shilling nail wraps, kitchen wares, or crappy jewelry through a MLM scheme. She's not.

January 9, 2017
6:10 pm
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tulips grow wherever the f**k you plant them dumbass
Hamprince of Meowtonia
Meows: 5787
Snarking Since:
September 6, 2013

Can someone tell me why all the BEACHBODY bandwagon people tag their IG & FB posts with #fecoach?

WTH does it mean confused

I'd ask my friends who do BB but I'm afraid that I'll sign up for a challenge and be knee-deep in Shake-o by the end if the month embarrassed

January 9, 2017
6:34 pm
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Avenging Animal
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1599
Snarking Since:
July 18, 2013

I was afraid she was going to knock herself out doing those "burpees."  She needs a better holster for those flopping mammary glands. 

January 9, 2017
8:00 pm
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GoodbyeHello
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 580
Snarking Since:
March 1, 2014

Avenging Animal meowed

I was afraid she was going to knock herself out doing those "burpees."  She needs a better holster for those flopping mammary glands. 

Why did she post that video? I thought her udders are going to pop out of her top! She really needs to get a bra fitting and a a few big girl bras. But we know how good Jess is at #adulting

January 9, 2017
8:40 pm
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blob leading the blind
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 226
Snarking Since:
December 20, 2014

Does it make me a bad person that I'm over here rolling my eyes at her hospital pic? The only thing baby skinny jeans had wrong with her was the cleft lip thing right? Which obviously would be scary having to watch a tiny person go through surgery but still. She had a perfectly normal, full term delivery with no problems that we were aware of right? Jesus it's like the kid was born months early and almost didn't make it or something.

formerly deletedinstagrampic
January 9, 2017
9:56 pm
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IdontsweatIsnarkle
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1081
Snarking Since:
November 3, 2014

blob leading the blind meowed

Does it make me a bad person that I'm over here rolling my eyes at her hospital pic? The only thing baby skinny jeans had wrong with her was the cleft lip thing right? Which obviously would be scary having to watch a tiny person go through surgery but still. She had a perfectly normal, full term delivery with no problems that we were aware of right? Jesus it's like the kid was born months early and almost didn't make it or something.

I really don't want to minimize her experience, but I totally felt the same way. I get that anytime your baby has issues and has to face surgery, it is scary. Did she spend extra time in the hospital after birth, I can't remember? Just from pictures her case looked pretty mild. You know what makes me choke up? Any time I see or hear a medical helicopter. Even though my baby didn't go by helicopter (it was storming and she had to be sent by ground ambulance), it still makes me think someone is pretty bad off. Our second child was supposed to be a healthy delivery like our first, but she was not breathing when born. We didn't know it at the time but she had an internal birth defect that has a 50% mortality rate. She is fine now, but was in the NICU for 6 weeks after birth (born full term), has had multiple surgeries tye past 11 years and will have life-long health concerns. I remember a year or so after she was born, a friend of mine had a baby via C-section who had to be under the oxygen tent for a few hours. She tells me, "Now I know just how you felt!" Um, not quite.

January 9, 2017
10:44 pm
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Pirate baby with scurvy
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 393
Snarking Since:
August 17, 2015

Agree with the above. I had a friend who refers to her daughter with asthma as "medically fragile" and it bugs the carp out of me. She has no other health complications and her asthma is well controlled as long as her mom doesn't do the backyard fire pit smores thinking that a puff of albuterol makes breathing in that much smoke ok.confused I just got tired of her ranting and raving at women in stores wearing perfume because her kid is medically fragile or a car driving down the road with a person in their own car smoking because her kid is using the same road.



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