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BERF 5: BERF's Birth
September 5, 2012
11:41 pm
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watchmefall
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 313
Snarking Since:
June 5, 2012

That thing looks like a torpedo!

September 6, 2012
12:05 am
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PricklyPete
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 385
Snarking Since:
March 7, 2012

That is like shelf o' baby!
Kerf's torso is so short her bump starts right under her boobs.
And I don't know why she keeps thinking he's dropped. She is still carrying pretty high.
50% effaced and -1 station is like nothing. You could be that at 36 weeks.
Poor thing is terrified to come out. Like dragging a cat out of a carrier at the vet. Nails dug in. Nope! Not coming out, assholes!

September 6, 2012
12:23 am
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A Box of Broken Crayons
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1132
Snarking Since:
April 11, 2012

Franish said

StaceyMcGill said
Sorry to harp on this stupid point, but I really cannot believe how small and not about-to-pop she looks for 40 weeks. Her abdominal cavity's roominess puts her buttocks to shame. You guys should seriously see how ridiculous I look right now at 36 weeks. My belly is a huge, absurd torpedo and there's Kath talking about how comfortable she is with her half moon bump at 41 weeks.

 

Why are all her commenters falling all over themselves saying she's so omg brave and looks so omg great? She's so bravely gone overdue!

does it look like this, the scariest baby belly I've ever seen?

 

Crop this just right and it would look like a giant fake breast.

September 6, 2012
1:03 am
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JIF
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1935
Snarking Since:
February 10, 2012

KAS said
I am also confident he will come before then!!

Just like she was confident she was going to give birth early…… OK, KERF, OK.  And why not strip the membranes?  Why not do something that might actually work if you're willing to do so much that is not proven to?  Is it because….it might hurt, you big wienie???

 

And that confidence comes from….where…exactly? You've never had a baby before. Even if you've had ten babies it's often very difficult to make such pronouncements unless they are real, obvious signs of progression and effacement.  Which don't include "my toes feel different" or "I felt like walking faster yesterday". Just hoping that baby doesn't wait until then doesn't make it so!  *Facepalm*

September 6, 2012
6:49 am
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StaceyMcGill
Hamcat
Meows: 166
Snarking Since:
May 3, 2012

Franish said

does it look like this, the scariest baby belly I've ever seen?

 

Oh my god no. That woman wins. I don't know what she wins.

I'm slightly dissenting from the idea that there's no way anyone can have an accurate "feeling" about when they're going to give birth, even first time moms. I think sometimes there are signs and some women can be in tune with them. Just not Kerf, because she's, you know, Kerf and she sucks.

September 6, 2012
8:39 am
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snarkshark
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 941
Snarking Since:
August 19, 2012

pblover said

KAS said
I am also confident he will come before then!!

Just like she was confident she was going to give birth early…… OK, KERF, OK.  And why not strip the membranes?  Why not do something that might actually work if you're willing to do so much that is not proven to?  Is it because….it might hurt, you big wienie???

 

And that confidence comes from….where…exactly? You've never had a baby before. Even if you've had ten babies it's often very difficult to make such pronouncements unless they are real, obvious signs of progression and effacement.  Which don't include "my toes feel different" or "I felt like walking faster yesterday". Just hoping that baby doesn't wait until then doesn't make it so!  *Facepalm*

Yes.  This pissed me off, because I had my membranes stripped (they were going to induce me in a few days, so I decided to try it)– it doesn't mean that my birth wasn't natural.  The fact that I didn't have any MEDS makes it natural.  Fucking KERF.  I can't wait until she begs for an epidural at 3 cm.  And yeah, I agree that she didn't do it because she's still afraid to give birth. I think she'd rather waddle around town (I must have walked MILES today!!!!) and soak as much KERF-time as possible before everything won't be about her anymore. 

September 6, 2012
9:03 am
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Kerfeltoe
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3214
Snarking Since:
November 21, 2011

She thought her water might have broken? What? Was she wearing a diaper? How could you not know??

September 6, 2012
9:07 am
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Kerfeltoe
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3214
Snarking Since:
November 21, 2011

(one of my irrational labor fears was to have to go to the hospital in the middle of the night without a shower or brushed teeth!)

 

What the fucking fuck. Could she be any more narcissistic!@? God. I just cannot.

September 6, 2012
9:10 am
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HamSweetHam
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 599
Snarking Since:
April 2, 2012

One of my friends went about five days over with her first. She was kind of keyed-up during those days, obviously, because she knew labor could start any day, but she was glad and grateful to have a little bit of extra time to rest up and get the house in order. She was also grateful for an uneventful pregnancy and a healthy awesome baby, who arrived shortly thereafter.

Unlike Kerf, who wouldn't know gratitude or humility even if they were staring her in the face on top of her oats.

 

Quitcherbitchin, Kerf.

September 6, 2012
9:20 am
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Miz.Ali
Kitten
Meows: 4
Snarking Since:
January 20, 2012

AAAAHHHH!!!! Sorry HamCats, this is all my fault!   Quitting smoking (AGAIN) and I left my patch on last night at bedtime.  Wacky patch-dream ensued.  I was hanging out with Kerf, trying to get labor started!  WHY?!?!?!?  On a positive note, we were eating Burger King….

So ashamed this is my first post!embarassed

September 6, 2012
9:20 am
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francesfarmer
Hamcat
Meows: 76
Snarking Since:
December 28, 2011

IT'S HAPPENING

September 6, 2012
9:20 am
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Beast of the Month
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1396
Snarking Since:
September 23, 2011

Kerfeltoe said

What the fucking fuck. Could she be any more narcissistic!@? God. I just cannot.

I wouldn't want to go to the hospital where people were going to be all up in my hoo-ha without a shower first either. embarassed

September 6, 2012
9:23 am
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I have the money but its about the principle of the fact
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1303
Snarking Since:
January 30, 2012

Ugh, I bet she'll give birth this weekend while I'm out of town and mostly computer-less. I can't be worrying about a BERF-pocalypse while my friend and her fiance are tying the kno! 

Formerly known as nom nom nom
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