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Matt and Kath divorce?
September 22, 2014
5:55 pm
avatar
ILikePie
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1549
Snarking Since:
July 11, 2013

SO want to change my name to Henpecked Douche Asshole Smug C**ty B***h. It's perfect. clap

a whole lot of work that I've streamlined ;)
September 23, 2014
1:19 am
avatar
^^^shillin with my littles^^^
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 681
Snarking Since:
July 27, 2014

Dance Party Steak Lunch Scrubbing Bubbles Convention said

I was under the impression that Math has left for work by 6 most mornings, some mornings super early, and then on Sundays he wakes up to cook for KERF.

I think the guy is a monumental douche, but I think he does actually get up and go to work while Princess C**t sleeps until 6:26 or 7:26 or whatever it is (if IB doesn't wake her up). And then she expects his ass to be home by 5 so he can cook dinner for her because she's afraid to use the stove, the onion, or to exert herself in anyway that can't be documented as as "valedictorian" activity.  Then he's expected to play with IB because Kery needs some alone time after having spent a solid three hours out of 8 with IB.  The remaining 5 he was either sleeping, in school, at the gym daycare, or being pushed around in a stroller.

ETA:  Math would never be able to squeeze in a side piece with his b***h of a wife micromanaging all their time the way she does.  At most he might get a lap dance and a quick blow job at a strip club on one of his "boys' trips" but even then I bet the spectre of Kerf prevents him from actually enjoying it.

He's a henpecked douche asshole and she's a smug c**ty b***h.  They're perfect for each other. She passive aggressively picks at him and he responds with long-winded douchey lectures.  Once a month, probably on the 26th, they have sex because that's what married adults do.  The rest of the time they concentrate on how they're better than everyone else.

lolI want to burn bacon and whip oats for this comment clap

September 23, 2014
2:10 am
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Shut your w***e mouth
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 233
Snarking Since:
September 14, 2013

They are Basil and Sybil Fawlty. They will live a long life of mutual resentment.

I have explained this many times.
September 23, 2014
3:38 am
avatar
Salem Knitting Circle
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 730
Snarking Since:
April 10, 2013

It tastes like purple said

They are Basil and Sybil Fawlty. They will live a long life of mutual resentment.

Wash your mouth out! scared Sybil had *style*, something that dear Kerfy wouldn't understand if it knocked on her front door bearing a platter of assorted nut butters.

September 23, 2014
4:21 am
avatar
Shut your w***e mouth
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 233
Snarking Since:
September 14, 2013

"Oooh, I know" <– best Sybil Fawlty impression. But something about their dynamic really reminds me of Basil and Sybil. The way that Sybil spends all her time gossiping, 'supervising' her husband and passive aggressively insulting him while Basil does all the work, although badly, and is reduced to muttering insults under his breath in words of more than two syllables that she won't understand just to get one over on her screams Matth and Kath to me.

I have explained this many times.
September 23, 2014
6:52 am
avatar
So Sorry, So Sexy
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1346
Snarking Since:
January 23, 2014

Dance Party Steak Lunch Scrubbing Bubbles Convention said
I was under the impression that Math has left for work by 6 most mornings, some mornings super early, and then on Sundays he wakes up to cook for KERF.

I think the guy is a monumental douche, but I think he does actually get up and go to work while Princess C**t sleeps until 6:26 or 7:26 or whatever it is (if IB doesn't wake her up). And then she expects his ass to be home by 5 so he can cook dinner for her because she's afraid to use the stove, the onion, or to exert herself in anyway that can't be documented as as "valedictorian" activity.  Then he's expected to play with IB because Kery needs some alone time after having spent a solid three hours out of 8 with IB.  The remaining 5 he was either sleeping, in school, at the gym daycare, or being pushed around in a stroller.

 

Thank you, this is basically what I was trying to say, but unlike you, I said it very poorly.

~formerly known as scuffinmarks~
September 23, 2014
9:41 am
avatar
Salem Knitting Circle
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 730
Snarking Since:
April 10, 2013

It tastes like purple said

"Oooh, I know" <– best Sybil Fawlty impression. But something about their dynamic really reminds me of Basil and Sybil. The way that Sybil spends all her time gossiping, 'supervising' her husband and passive aggressively insulting him while Basil does all the work, although badly, and is reduced to muttering insults under his breath in words of more than two syllables that she won't understand just to get one over on her screams Matth and Kath to me.

lolPoint taken!

September 23, 2014
1:20 pm
avatar
nutsandberries
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 320
Snarking Since:
June 12, 2012

I do think they'll divorce eventually.  They remind me of my young, joyless, marriage.  Really pretty on the outside, a mess on the inside.  That's why she tries so hard to make everything appear perfect.  It's all she can control.  If I had a dime for all the people who told my ex and I "the perfect family!" I'd be rich; except it wasn't.  Plus, both of their parents are divorced and married young too, correct? 

 

The good news for KERF is that divorce is WAY better than a loveless marriage of two people that have nothing in common. 

September 23, 2014
1:34 pm
avatar
Pumpkin Spice Scente

nutsandberries said
I do think they'll divorce eventually.  They remind me of my young, joyless, marriage.  Really pretty on the outside, a mess on the inside.  That's why she tries so hard to make everything appear perfect.  It's all she can control.  If I had a dime for all the people who told my ex and I "the perfect family!" I'd be rich; except it wasn't.  Plus, both of their parents are divorced and married young too, correct? 

 

The good news for KERF is that divorce is WAY better than a loveless marriage of two people that have nothing in common. 

 

Only Matth's parents are divorced. Good old Cliff and Buzz are going strong.

September 23, 2014
1:42 pm
avatar
gwenhara
Feline Porklord
Meows: 3336
Snarking Since:
May 25, 2012

Their divorce would be so epically ugly, I almost hope it never happens.  These are two people who are never, ever, ever, wrong and love to place blame on others.  They both think they're smarter than everyone else on the planet and that they're better than everyone else.   Can you imagine the nuclear winter that would rise in the wake of a divorce?  KERF would take IB and create the most micromanaged nonsensical visitation schedule just to spite Matth and then she'd play martyr the rest of the time.

Matth would be dating within a year and married within two. The second marriage will make him more likeable and less douchey.   I have no idea who would ever marry someone like KERF.

But really they're never going to divorce.  They just won't.  They'll develop separate lives but remain married coming together for special occasions where they'll grit their teeth in pained smiles and pretend that everything is perfect while downing alcohol with the acumen of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.  After said occasion they'll go home and have a knock down drag out fight and retire to separate bedrooms.  But they'll never officially split.  To do so would be to admit they aren't perfect.

September 23, 2014
1:50 pm
avatar
Sheridan Bucket
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1695
Snarking Since:
April 11, 2012

nutsandberries said
I do think they'll divorce eventually.  They remind me of my young, joyless, marriage.  Really pretty on the outside, a mess on the inside.  That's why she tries so hard to make everything appear perfect.  It's all she can control.  If I had a dime for all the people who told my ex and I "the perfect family!" I'd be rich; except it wasn't.  Plus, both of their parents are divorced and married young too, correct? 

 

The good news for KERF is that divorce is WAY better than a loveless marriage of two people that have nothing in common. 

Matt's parents are divorced; Kath's aren't. I think that's why she's working hard to control their image, as you pointed out. Her family seems big on conforming, getting married by a certain age, having kids by a certain age, staying together even if you hate each other, all for the sake of appearances.

September 23, 2014
2:15 pm
avatar
Stalker in a Bow Tie
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4638
Snarking Since:
September 11, 2011

Pumpkin Spice Scented Feminine Products said

Dance Party Steak Lunch Scrubbing Bubbles Convention said

I was under the impression that Math has left for work by 6 most mornings, some mornings super early, and then on Sundays he wakes up to cook for KERF.

I think the guy is a monumental douche, but I think he does actually get up and go to work while Princess C**t sleeps until 6:26 or 7:26 or whatever it is (if IB doesn't wake her up). And then she expects his ass to be home by 5 so he can cook dinner for her because she's afraid to use the stove, the onion, or to exert herself in anyway that can't be documented as as "valedictorian" activity.  Then he's expected to play with IB because Kery needs some alone time after having spent a solid three hours out of 8 with IB.  The remaining 5 he was either sleeping, in school, at the gym daycare, or being pushed around in a stroller.

ETA:  Math would never be able to squeeze in a side piece with his b***h of a wife micromanaging all their time the way she does.  At most he might get a lap dance and a quick blow job at a strip club on one of his "boys' trips" but even then I bet the spectre of Kerf prevents him from actually enjoying it.

He's a henpecked douche asshole and she's a smug c**ty b***h.  They're perfect for each other. She passive aggressively picks at him and he responds with long-winded douchey lectures.  Once a month, probably on the 26th, they have sex because that's what married adults do.  The rest of the time they concentrate on how they're better than everyone else.

sha_clap2sha_clap2sha_clap2

lmao  "Princess C**t."  So simple, so perfect.

September 23, 2014
6:40 pm
avatar
Oats in a Jar
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 394
Snarking Since:
June 7, 2013

Forget all this talk of divorce: I just want to know what ringtones they have for each other.



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