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Freckled Fox
November 29, 2016
5:50 pm
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N1curr Hospice Paw that Tickles the Cradle
Hamcat
Meows: 91
Snarking Since:
October 18, 2016

Allrightythen meowed

Severus Snark meowed
I read the post after my prior comment and I change nothing about it (especially the ironically over-mentioned fireplace), but DAMN am I now heartbroken for that poor baby girl.  For all of them.  For these two internet-obsessed f**kfaces parading it out in public and asking them to just smile, get a new "daddy", and pose for the wedding photos.

I seriously can't get past the image of her giving him a fake smile, and returning to her tears when he turned away.  That's not heartwarming or cute or a "teachable moment".  That's a baby–a baby!–who's been taught that her parents don't care for her tears, no matter how genuine or important, and to put on a smile for the blog.  A baby who knows her daddy's gone and remembers him and loves him and misses him enough to cry spontaneously at his memory.  A baby who's watching her daddy die all over again as his family and home are forcibly sterilized of his memory.  A baby whose father had been there for her whole little life, first steps and words, who is being told he isn't worth remembering or respecting.  A baby whose father was taken from her against both their wills by cancer, not a messy divorce that calls for spite.  How can she be concerned with removing even the word "daddy" from their mouths?  I get the "what to call wolfboy" dilemma, but his relationship with the kids is new and malleable; the one they had with their late father is not up for debate or curation.  I feel like they'd treat the same child's lost favorite stuffed animal with more reverence.

She's done a lot of heartbreaking things, but telling a two year-old who already feels like she has to hide her grief that she can't even continue to call her own f**king father "daddy"?  That takes the cake.  Of all the things she's done, I think this is the one that would hurt Martin the most.  No wonder she doesn't want to be sealed anymore.  She'd have to one day explain why she told their babies to not speak of their father the way they want to–just in time for their first holidays without him.  

F**k them both.  By the soothing motherf**king fireplace.

sha_clap2

You put my thoughts into words. After that last post, I can't even watch the train wreck anymore. It makes me want to throw up what she is doing to those kids. She doesn't deserve them. 

 

smiley-signs064

Totally agree with all of the above. WTF are they thinking?? Those poor children. She doesn't deserve them. I've never seen two more selfish people. Me, look at me world. 

November 29, 2016
6:32 pm
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lillian
Hamcat
Meows: 131
Snarking Since:
April 14, 2016

I've stayed away from this thread for a bit since it hits close to home right now. One of our best friends was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last April 27. She died that July 4, leaving 5 children with the youngest being 8 months. Her husband was engaged by that October. When we voiced our concerns about it being so fast he said it was the Lord who brought her into his life and told him to marry her. Fast forward a few months and the engagement fell through, thank heavens, but by the 1 yr anniversary of our friend's death he was engaged again and the wedding is in a few weeks. Same thing, it was ordained by God. His kids aren't in therapy either, it's like a badge of dishonor by some very religious mormons. If you pray hard enough the Lord will take away your sadness. others-221

I really would be interested in knowing how much of this behavior is fueled by being an active Mormon. Being alone, by choice or not, is not attractive in our Mormon culture unfortunately.

November 29, 2016
6:51 pm
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Alice
Hi Im Alice And Ill Be Your GOMI Admin Today
Meows: 14990
Snarking Since:
September 3, 2008
November 29, 2016
7:11 pm
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Kingtrashmouth
Cat
Meows: 33
Snarking Since:
November 19, 2016

I wonder if maybe Lydia was calling out for Martin when she asked for "Daddy?" the first time. And then realized that dumbass Wolfie thought she was asking for him and then felt the need to clarify because Wolfie wouldn't leave her alone to have a moment. So when he asked her what was wrong, her answer was "Daddy (Martin)." and added "I miss Daddy-Martin" for clarity instead of Richard's interpretation of "Daddy (Richard), I miss Daddy-Martin". Since it is Wolfie's account of the story, I could see him (and Emily) misconstruing Lydia's reactions and responses to further this image they are trying to portray of this happy family unit. 

I only say this because that is how I read it the first time. Maybe it was my brain reading ti that way because it is insane to me that 5 young children are expected to call another man Dad so soon after their own father died. I could see the baby calling him Daddy on her own sooner than later just because she is so young, but not the others. 

Either way, I am assuming the car was parked (why else would he be playing with the others), he should have taken a moment to console her until Emily was back to console her as well. Emily and Richard's actions are just horrible and parading Lydia's grief to bolster his reputation just cements that. I really hope that someone can intervene and at least get the kids into some kind of bereavement counseling. 

An old hamcat here that can't remember/figure out old login info
November 29, 2016
7:45 pm
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Mona-Lisa Saperstein
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2938
Snarking Since:
August 13, 2013

Kingtrashmouth meowed
I wonder if maybe Lydia was calling out for Martin when she asked for "Daddy?" the first time. And then realized that dumbass Wolfie thought she was asking for him and then felt the need to clarify because Wolfie wouldn't leave her alone to have a moment. So when he asked her what was wrong, her answer was "Daddy (Martin)." and added "I miss Daddy-Martin" for clarity instead of Richard's interpretation of "Daddy (Richard), I miss Daddy-Martin". Since it is Wolfie's account of the story, I could see him (and Emily) misconstruing Lydia's reactions and responses to further this image they are trying to portray of this happy family unit. 

I only say this because that is how I read it the first time. Maybe it was my brain reading ti that way because it is insane to me that 5 young children are expected to call another man Dad so soon after their own father died. I could see the baby calling him Daddy on her own sooner than later just because she is so young, but not the others. 

Either way, I am assuming the car was parked (why else would he be playing with the others), he should have taken a moment to console her until Emily was back to console her as well. Emily and Richard's actions are just horrible and parading Lydia's grief to bolster his reputation just cements that. I really hope that someone can intervene and at least get the kids into some kind of bereavement counseling. 

That's how I read it too, that she was clarifying.

November 29, 2016
8:49 pm
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Kerf wins individual immunity
Cat
Meows: 15
Snarking Since:
April 15, 2016

That whole post from Wolfboy just icked me out so much! I truely hope that your interpretation above of Lydia clarifying "Daddy-Martin" is right, it would be so wrong if FF and Wolfy are teaching the kids that Wolfy is Daddy, and actual Daddy is Daddy-Martin.
But nothing in this shit-show has be right for a while trainwreck

November 29, 2016
8:51 pm
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Severus Snark
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2724
Snarking Since:
December 31, 2014

^^^
She wouldn't have had anything to clarify if they weren't already making her also call Richard "daddy", though. There would be just be one daddy and no clarification would be needed.

Is it common for two year-olds to know their dad by first name like that? Wouldn't Martin still just be "daddy" to her, especially since she's so young? I don't think I've even known of *adults* to start calling their parents by their first name after losing them, even with step parents. It's such an unnecessary act of untethering.

ETA: I still can't think of another instance of this. Even after messy divorces, it's usually still "You're spending this weekend at your dad's" regardless of step parents. Even my mom still calls her dad "dad", and she's in her sixties.

November 29, 2016
9:40 pm
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Kingtrashmouth
Cat
Meows: 33
Snarking Since:
November 19, 2016

Severus Snark meowed
^^^
She wouldn't have had anything to clarify if they weren't already making her also call Richard "daddy", though. There would be just be one daddy and no clarification would be needed.

Is it common for two year-olds to know their dad by first name like that? Wouldn't Martin still just be "daddy" to her, especially since she's so young? I don't think I've even known of *adults* to start calling their parents by their first name after losing them, even with step parents. It's such an unnecessary act of untethering.

ETA: I still can't think of another instance of this. Even after messy divorces, it's usually still "You're spending this weekend at your dad's" regardless of step parents. Even my mom still calls her dad "dad", and she's in her sixties.

Oh my comment was not to say that there isn't any pressure for the kids to call him that. I'm just saying that I read it as her calling for Martin and then clarifying that she wasn't calling Richard her dad. It just furthers the idea that she was smiling just to appease him and that they possibly misrepresented the truth as her calling R "daddy" to smooth over their marriage to readers. Again, either way it is creepy and inappropriate. 

To answer you other question about toddlers knowing names, my 18month old son does try to call us by our names sometimes and also occasionally refers to himself in the third person. It is part of the language and brain development at this age. 

An old hamcat here that can't remember/figure out old login info
November 29, 2016
10:08 pm
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juice box rocker
Cat
Meows: 34
Snarking Since:
September 28, 2016

"She told me she would like a hug. This made me smile. When I smiled, she smiled some too. I made a happier face at her, and she gave me her big classic Lydia smile.  If it weren't for the wet cheeks, no one would have been able to tell that, moments before, she had been so sad. I turned to Evie and tickled her neck, and squeezed John's thigh making him squirm with laughter too. Then I looked back to see Lydia crying again. When our eyes met, she gave a big smile again. This time as I looked back to the others, my attention stayed on her, and I watched out of the corner of my eye as her face fell again, and tears started to flow as if she hadn't smiled at all. When my eyes returned to hers with my full attention, it brought another smile, but then her face again fell as I looked away. She seemed in limbo, stuck between happy and sad." reaction

"I haven't been a parent the way I am now for very long, so many things are new.  My hat is off to parents around the world. You are ALL amazing! Day in and day out, while incredibly rewarding, is hard! And for me, this little moment with Lydia was HARD!  I looked into her eyes, and wanted to fix it. I wanted to reason, like we do with Ellie." angry

 

Exactly what kind of parent were you before Daddy Dick? How would you reason with Lydia that she can't grieve because you have too many smiles and tickles to share? Oh right, you're "certified" in hospice care so you know how to counsel these kids. I don't know what the hell he was thinking by posting that word hurl. I would gather there have been many times these poor kids have grieved outloud for their Daddy and Daddy Dick has tickled that right outta them. I would hit the roof if my husband had my 3 yr old son calling another woman Mommy a few months after I was gone. No grief to see here folks. Happy family area only. Move along…

November 29, 2016
10:29 pm
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JIF
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2172
Snarking Since:
February 10, 2012

lillian meowed
I've stayed away from this thread for a bit since it hits close to home right now. One of our best friends was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last April 27. She died that July 4, leaving 5 children with the youngest being 8 months. Her husband was engaged by that October. When we voiced our concerns about it being so fast he said it was the Lord who brought her into his life and told him to marry her. Fast forward a few months and the engagement fell through, thank heavens, but by the 1 yr anniversary of our friend's death he was engaged again and the wedding is in a few weeks. Same thing, it was ordained by God. His kids aren't in therapy either, it's like a badge of dishonor by some very religious mormons. If you pray hard enough the Lord will take away your sadness. others-221

I really would be interested in knowing how much of this behavior is fueled by being an active Mormon. Being alone, by choice or not, is not attractive in our Mormon culture unfortunately.

I can't speak for all Mormons (though I sure try!) but this can't be single for five seconds thing is bull crap and just a reason for some people to hook up again sooner than they want to admit. I can't even imagine THINKING about even dating for at least a year or so if my husband passed. If we divorced I'd still wait a considerable amount of time not only for my children, but because it's just not smart to make new, huge decisions on the tails of life-changing events. It's just not smart and it's crazy. I made this comment on the GOMI blog post when she first aired that she had remarried but seriously, where's the fire? If you meet someone so soon after a death/divorce and they really do care about you – if that person really is meant to be your next partner in life – they can wait a gosh-dang 30 seconds for you and your kids to recover from your recent trauma before jumping into a new life.  If they really care for you, they'll let you take it a bit slow and understand that maybe getting married before the grass has regrown over the grave would be a TAD TOO SOON. I blame this woman for her idiotic thinking, but at least she has the grief to fall back on as an excuse – I blame the new husband more for being party to this given he hasn't been under any emotional stress. 

November 29, 2016
11:25 pm
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Baylee121
Hamcat
Meows: 81
Snarking Since:
October 7, 2016

These posts from Richard…do not help his image or FF's. I felt sorry for Lydia that she wasn't scooped up, held, and permitted to sob as long as she needed.

I still think counseling is so overdue it's not even funny. The kids need it, and so does Emily.

She's only fooling herself if she thinks she doesn't.

November 29, 2016
11:35 pm
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cece22
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1175
Snarking Since:
May 29, 2013

Omg, poor sweet Lydia :(

I don't have words. It sounds like she knows she has to put on a good face for FF and Dick.

puke

November 29, 2016
11:41 pm
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Purple21
Feline Porklord
Meows: 4064
Snarking Since:
July 28, 2014

Maybe I just can't handle the idea of a 2 year old crying for her daddy and being coached to smile instead… but I have decided the whole incident was manufactured in response to suggestions that the kids are not allowed to grieve now that their mother is happily remarried.  

Feel free to disagree, but I prefer this version. That story broke my heart. Even in this version, the adults are too self-centered to realize that it is cruel not to let a little girl cry for her daddy, and that she isn't required to offer ego boosts to the living adult male who has just walked into her life. 



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