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Freckled Fox
December 20, 2016
2:34 pm
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pretend its something funny
Hamcat
Meows: 70
Snarking Since:
January 8, 2015

All of the pictures she posted at the end of Martin's life really bothered me. There was no need to post those on the internet. There was this one collage of pictures in a blog post that stuck out to me…it was when they were in the hospital right before he had to get lifted home (the term escapes me at the moment). There's a picture of a bunch of monitors/IVs and one of him being put in the ambulance but from afar. That was very telling for me. Those are pictures to post for very selfish reasons. Who needs a generic picture of hospital machines? Why are you standing far away while your husband is being loaded into an ambulance? That really changed my perception of how she had posted about Martin's illness and death. It was for the head pats.

I know grief can make a person do crazy things, but I'm not sure I believe everything she's selling. She is not in a good place, and I wish that she would GOMI because there is so much negativity around her situation that is not conducive to the healing process. She needs to watch those babies around predator wolf boy instead of watching all the comments that are really just concern around her choices.

December 20, 2016
3:41 pm
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Heather Chandler
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 653
Snarking Since:
March 24, 2013

I know that this is completely shallow in light of everything, but after browsing back through Emily's Instagram pictures – my God, Martin is gorgeous. 

(I like "is" better than "was" – weird personal thing)

December 20, 2016
4:40 pm
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cannotbelieveher
Kitten
Meows: 2
Snarking Since:
December 20, 2016

FF is a friend of a friend, and she disgusts me.  

I don't want to say that her response and her actions after Martin's death are WRONG…. but, they are not normal at all.  

Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death, maybe even more extremely since she had 5 children with him.  Amazing article if anyone wants to have a read: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/

December 20, 2016
4:44 pm
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cannotbelieveher
Kitten
Meows: 2
Snarking Since:
December 20, 2016
December 20, 2016
5:15 pm
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VenusFlyTrap
Hamcat
Meows: 177
Snarking Since:
May 2, 2012

Her behavior around Martin's illness and death are abhorrent. There was one photo she posted shortly before he died that just did me in. The entire family was sitting on their white couch, with Emily in the middle reading to the kids. Martin is at the end of the couch, his eyes are closed but he is propped up so that he can be in the photo. It sickened me then, and it sickens me now, that she posted that. Then the glamour shots of her with him on his death bed, her at the wedding in full hair and makeup and of course the whole "new daddy" thing.  

 

BUT she is so young. SO.YOUNG. I think about who I was at 25, and the things I said and did, and I thank the flying spaghetti monster that the internet didn't exist back then. I suspect/hope that 20 years from now she is going to be properly mortified at the things she did and posted during this horrifically painful and what should be PERSONAL time. I so wish she had the self-discipline to just shut her blog/Instagram down and live a private, authentic life in S. Idaho, spending every minute of every day nurturing her five deeply-wounded children. 

December 20, 2016
6:16 pm
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Heather Chandler
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 653
Snarking Since:
March 24, 2013

cannotbelieveher meowed
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

That article was beautiful.

December 20, 2016
7:24 pm
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Posing sexily with Stilton
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2960
Snarking Since:
June 27, 2014

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

I hadn't really thought about Martin's clothes, medicine, all his belongings still being round the house. Did Emily address this? Surely she couldn't have removed all traces of him to make room for the new husband. When my uncle died unexpectedly 20 years ago it was a year before my auntie was ready to sort through the wardrobe etc and another year before she could even think about another relationship. They'd been married 15 years. Maybe that's the difference?

Formerly Switch off your ad blocker, before that Eurogypsy. I get bored.
December 20, 2016
8:37 pm
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Fire Crotch
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 325
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2015

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

That was a tear jerker.

December 20, 2016
8:49 pm
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devoted
Hamcat
Meows: 103
Snarking Since:
March 13, 2013

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

December 20, 2016
9:05 pm
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Fire Crotch
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 325
Snarking Since:
January 9, 2015

devoted meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

Me too. cry

December 20, 2016
9:19 pm
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LuciaVDH
Cat
Meows: 41
Snarking Since:
March 11, 2013

devoted meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/the-widowhood-effect/article33344335/  is the article I posted above, sorry.

My God that article was absolutely devastating. Devastating.

I cannot imagine how I would react if my SO died; just reading that article and trying to replace the woman who wrote it and her husband with my SO and I reduced me to ugly crying.

I know it's wrong to judge a person I don't know, but I cannot for the life of me understand what this woman is doing.

I love this article so much as I feel like this woman took the thoughts right from my head but in a much, much more articulate way than I could ever state them.  One thing that someone addressed a few posts back and I feel the need to echo is how young and relatively immature Emily is.  I'm younger than her and also a widow and while I feel like I was absolutely mature enough to marry and have kids, raising them is a whole different beast and I do understand her need for another person there validating her choices and telling her she can do it etc etc.  I don't think this person should be a brand new husband.  And yes, getting rid of all the "stuff" is absolutely gutting and it would surprise me if she did it in a matter of weeks to make room for her new husband.  Emily strikes me as narcissistic and self absorbed, but she does not strike me as cold hearted.  In my opinion to be able to systematically go through all the clothes, meds, personal items etc within weeks or months would take someone truly stone cold.  I guess I could be wrong about that as everyone's grieving process is different.  

December 20, 2016
9:56 pm
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Mazel Tov Cocktail
Feline Porklord
Meows: 2839
Snarking Since:
June 19, 2015

cannotbelieveher meowed
Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death[...]

 

How she should have responded? I wasn't aware there was a Robert's Rules of Grief. Who the f**k are you or anyone to say how someone SHOULD have responded to a death? 

Now with 30% more sanctimony!
December 20, 2016
10:45 pm
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People Pleaser!
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 699
Snarking Since:
January 10, 2014

Mazel Tov Cocktail meowed

cannotbelieveher meowed
Just read this article this morning, and it struck me… this is how Emily should have responded to the death[...]

 

How she should have responded? I wasn't aware there was a Robert's Rules of Grief. Who the f**k are you or anyone to say how someone SHOULD have responded to a death? 

Agreed, amd nicely put. So much of this thread is ridiculous.

Tossing out MartIn's stuff, if thats what this s about, is the LEAST of an indicator of depth of grief.

Some people just hate clutter and feel better –less stressed–when it is gone.

And other people keep the dead person's crap exactly the same, for decades.

Within 48 hours after my dad died, my mother tossed out loads of his stuff. She loved him, not his stuff.I think the act of tossing was an attempt to relieve stress. I know that I feel better when I toss crap. it imagine that if DH died I would have a carload of junk that Ive always disliked gone soon after his death.

We dont know what she is keeping.

Formerly "Managing My Suave" and "A Cad and a Bounder"


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