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Freckled Fox
December 21, 2016
12:37 pm
avatar
Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can!
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 635
Snarking Since:
November 11, 2014

I feel like she's the type of person who is either extremely narcissistic and verging on a personality disorder, or she is trying to manage her life/grief by making everything "normal" again and keep up her perfect persona.  New husband, pretty pictures, move on and kind of just try to pretend like nothing happened or that it didn't affect you.  I kind of get it; my parents were both very ill during my teen years (both had new chronic conditions that almost killed them a couple times), and we went forward basically as if nothing was wrong.  People would ask how they were and I'd respond "fine" and then they'd be confused; to my family, someone was "fine" unless they were in the ICU.  It was a coping mechanism, and it was usually a couple months after one of their incidents when the emotions would catch up with me and I'd be upset about it.  The trouble is that it's difficult for a bystander to really know what the motives are and why someone in a difficult situation is doing what they're doing. 

Previously everythingistaken
December 21, 2016
1:37 pm
avatar
Some Stranger I Met on the Internet
Kitten
Meows: 3
Snarking Since:
August 17, 2016

Heather Chandler meowed

I know that this is completely shallow in light of everything, but after browsing back through Emily's Instagram pictures – my God, Martin is gorgeous. 

(I like "is" better than "was" – weird personal thing)

I agree. Martin is very handsome and photogenic, and has a very kind face.

I am also troubled by the photographs Emily posted. First… Deathbed photo. I will say, if my husband were dying and I knew he was in his final moments, I would crawl into bed with him. And I would want a picture. I would want it because it would be the last of the two of us together. BUT I would keep it in my bureau drawer or something. I wouldn't share it, ESPECIALLY not a the whole internet. I have too much respect.

As far as the children at the funeral pictures… My husband's brother passed away recently. I will forever have the image in my head of my niece comforting her mom and saying "It's a sad day, mommy" If I could scour that out of my brain I would because it breaks my heart to see a child hurt like that. My own daughter ugly-cried, I couldn't stand it. Who captures that on film?! And then shares it with everyone in the world?

*The password-losing ham formerly known as Burgers for Thigh Gap and The Immortal Love Child of Coconut Oil and Nut Butter*
December 21, 2016
1:59 pm
avatar
F**kingZorro
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 446
Snarking Since:
June 23, 2014

#iloveyouandimeanit meowed
The thought of taking photos of my mother while she was dying is just mind boggling to me. She looked disgusting. Nothing like my beautiful mother. She was a skeleton with bulging eyes, her gray transluscent skin stretched over her bones. I was sitting/laying with her holding her hand and talking to her because I knew that's the only part of her that was still working. I was staring into her eyes knowing she couldn't really see me. I knew these were the last ever moments I was going to have with her. Ever. I have a couple pictures of her from 2/3 weeks before she died. I was taking a photograph of a kite I had hung up above her bed for her. Even in those photos she doesn't really look like her.

hugggg

I'm so sorry.

December 21, 2016
3:38 pm
avatar
ChickensDontLie
Cat
Meows: 22
Snarking Since:
October 16, 2016

Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can! meowed
I feel like she's the type of person who is either extremely narcissistic and verging on a personality disorder, or she is trying to manage her life/grief by making everything "normal" again and keep up her perfect persona.  New husband, pretty pictures, move on and kind of just try to pretend like nothing happened or that it didn't affect you.  I kind of get it; my parents were both very ill during my teen years (both had new chronic conditions that almost killed them a couple times), and we went forward basically as if nothing was wrong.  People would ask how they were and I'd respond "fine" and then they'd be confused; to my family, someone was "fine" unless they were in the ICU.  It was a coping mechanism, and it was usually a couple months after one of their incidents when the emotions would catch up with me and I'd be upset about it.  The trouble is that it's difficult for a bystander to really know what the motives are and why someone in a difficult situation is doing what they're doing. 

See whereas I feel like she's either extremely narcissistic or extremely immature. Part of me is like she's young so maybe she didn't have enough maturity to realize that not everything needs to be shared on the internet? But then another part of me is like well she was married to a man 9 years her senior and I can't imagine him wanting/having a relationship with someone very immature so she must be a narcissist and that's why she shared such intimate pictures. 

December 21, 2016
6:20 pm
avatar
AngiePearl
Cat
Meows: 22
Snarking Since:
October 5, 2016

I've found her blog looking for hairstyles and started following when Martin got sick.
It was obvious that they were very much in love and devoted to one another. I don't think she married for money like some have suggested, although she certainly appreciated the lifestyle (who wouldn't though).
I remember feeling really bad when I saw the funeral pictures because my first thought was: good god who wears high heels and a tight dress to their husband's funeral?
But then again, that was her style and why would she intentionally look crappy.
The pictures of them on Mother's day were also strange because it was painfully obvious that he has trouble staying awake and that he is not fully present, but I figured she was desperate to get more photos of them as a family, knowing that it's the last chance.

Her decision to get married again so soon is honestly shocking to me and I believe it was motivated by grief, desperation and loneliness and everything that followed was denial.
That's why she's sharing on the internet and trying to convince herself that everything is fine and completely normal.
What I don't understand is what guy in his right mind marries a 25yo widow after dating her for a week, and her family and friends not saying anything??
That's the most shocking part. My parents and my friends would lock me up in a room if neccessary to stop me from doing something so irrational.
Even if they don't have the best relationship, they should've done something.

December 21, 2016
6:29 pm
avatar
AddieB
Kitten
Meows: 9
Snarking Since:
July 16, 2013

ChickensDontLie meowed

Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can! meowed
I feel like she's the type of person who is either extremely narcissistic and verging on a personality disorder, or she is trying to manage her life/grief by making everything "normal" again and keep up her perfect persona.  New husband, pretty pictures, move on and kind of just try to pretend like nothing happened or that it didn't affect you.  I kind of get it; my parents were both very ill during my teen years (both had new chronic conditions that almost killed them a couple times), and we went forward basically as if nothing was wrong.  People would ask how they were and I'd respond "fine" and then they'd be confused; to my family, someone was "fine" unless they were in the ICU.  It was a coping mechanism, and it was usually a couple months after one of their incidents when the emotions would catch up with me and I'd be upset about it.  The trouble is that it's difficult for a bystander to really know what the motives are and why someone in a difficult situation is doing what they're doing. 

See whereas I feel like she's either extremely narcissistic or extremely immature. Part of me is like she's young so maybe she didn't have enough maturity to realize that not everything needs to be shared on the internet? But then another part of me is like well she was married to a man 9 years her senior and I can't imagine him wanting/having a relationship with someone very immature so she must be a narcissist and that's why she shared such intimate pictures. 

Porque no los dos?

Seriously, it's a very young age to lose her spouse and have five kids, but…she's an adult, with living beings who rely on her. The (bad) choices she makes are her (bad) choices. I feel sympathy for her for her situation, but the sympathy only excuses actions up to a point.

December 21, 2016
7:09 pm
avatar
lisztomania
Cat
Meows: 21
Snarking Since:
October 4, 2016

AddieB meowed

ChickensDontLie meowed

Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can! meowed
I feel like she's the type of person who is either extremely narcissistic and verging on a personality disorder, or she is trying to manage her life/grief by making everything "normal" again and keep up her perfect persona.  New husband, pretty pictures, move on and kind of just try to pretend like nothing happened or that it didn't affect you.  I kind of get it; my parents were both very ill during my teen years (both had new chronic conditions that almost killed them a couple times), and we went forward basically as if nothing was wrong.  People would ask how they were and I'd respond "fine" and then they'd be confused; to my family, someone was "fine" unless they were in the ICU.  It was a coping mechanism, and it was usually a couple months after one of their incidents when the emotions would catch up with me and I'd be upset about it.  The trouble is that it's difficult for a bystander to really know what the motives are and why someone in a difficult situation is doing what they're doing. 

See whereas I feel like she's either extremely narcissistic or extremely immature. Part of me is like she's young so maybe she didn't have enough maturity to realize that not everything needs to be shared on the internet? But then another part of me is like well she was married to a man 9 years her senior and I can't imagine him wanting/having a relationship with someone very immature so she must be a narcissist and that's why she shared such intimate pictures. 

Porque no los dos?

Seriously, it's a very young age to lose her spouse and have five kids, but…she's an adult, with living beings who rely on her. The (bad) choices she makes are her (bad) choices. I feel sympathy for her for her situation, but the sympathy only excuses actions up to a point.

Yeah, I keep seeing people reiterating how very young she is. Yes, 25 is young. But it's not 19 young. You're a legitimate adult, you're in the world. I was married with children by 25 too. I just don't resonate with the "well, she *is* so young" thing. She's old enough. And furthermore is there really a right time to lose someone who was a huge part of your life?

December 21, 2016
7:26 pm
avatar
Marlow
Kitten
Meows: 5
Snarking Since:
November 2, 2016

What really breaks my heart is the thought of her & Richard in the bed that Martin gave her as a wedding gift

December 22, 2016
3:06 am
avatar
wolf in sheeples clothing
Expert Hamcat
Meows: 352
Snarking Since:
September 20, 2014

We really don't know how long Martin was in rough shape- his Instagram isn't a good marker. A big part of the reason people thought it was a hoax was bc of how good he looked in photos, and (I'm almost positive) it turned out he was posting old pics.

Formerly Soupy Scones/ Cornmeal Whore
December 22, 2016
11:00 am
avatar
#iloveyouandimeanit
Feline Porklord
Meows: 1361
Snarking Since:
June 24, 2012

wolf in sheeples clothing meowed
We really don't know how long Martin was in rough shape- his Instagram isn't a good marker. A big part of the reason people thought it was a hoax was bc of how good he looked in photos, and (I'm almost positive) it turned out he was posting old pics.

He posted pictures of him at the gym showing his surgery scars.

Formerly ENDOMETRIAL-TISSUE MANAGEMENT SHAMING!
December 22, 2016
11:24 am
avatar
Riveting memoirs of an amnesiac
Hamcat
Meows: 70
Snarking Since:
October 18, 2016

wolf in sheeples clothing meowed
We really don't know how long Martin was in rough shape- his Instagram isn't a good marker. A big part of the reason people thought it was a hoax was bc of how good he looked in photos, and (I'm almost positive) it turned out he was posting old pics.

The photos above were taken the end of February. 

December 22, 2016
11:32 am
avatar
Heather Chandler
Senior Hamcat
Meows: 599
Snarking Since:
March 24, 2013

lisztomania meowed

AddieB meowed

ChickensDontLie meowed

Get the Most Outta Ya Womb While Ya Can! meowed
I feel like she's the type of person who is either extremely narcissistic and verging on a personality disorder, or she is trying to manage her life/grief by making everything "normal" again and keep up her perfect persona.  New husband, pretty pictures, move on and kind of just try to pretend like nothing happened or that it didn't affect you.  I kind of get it; my parents were both very ill during my teen years (both had new chronic conditions that almost killed them a couple times), and we went forward basically as if nothing was wrong.  People would ask how they were and I'd respond "fine" and then they'd be confused; to my family, someone was "fine" unless they were in the ICU.  It was a coping mechanism, and it was usually a couple months after one of their incidents when the emotions would catch up with me and I'd be upset about it.  The trouble is that it's difficult for a bystander to really know what the motives are and why someone in a difficult situation is doing what they're doing. 

See whereas I feel like she's either extremely narcissistic or extremely immature. Part of me is like she's young so maybe she didn't have enough maturity to realize that not everything needs to be shared on the internet? But then another part of me is like well she was married to a man 9 years her senior and I can't imagine him wanting/having a relationship with someone very immature so she must be a narcissist and that's why she shared such intimate pictures. 

Porque no los dos?

Seriously, it's a very young age to lose her spouse and have five kids, but…she's an adult, with living beings who rely on her. The (bad) choices she makes are her (bad) choices. I feel sympathy for her for her situation, but the sympathy only excuses actions up to a point.

Yeah, I keep seeing people reiterating how very young she is. Yes, 25 is young. But it's not 19 young. You're a legitimate adult, you're in the world. I was married with children by 25 too. I just don't resonate with the "well, she *is* so young" thing. She's old enough. And furthermore is there really a right time to lose someone who was a huge part of your life?

Exactly. She is not that young. "Young" describes the kids she's f**king up with her immaturity. 

December 22, 2016
1:10 pm
avatar
Baylee121
Hamcat
Meows: 65
Snarking Since:
October 7, 2016

When you think of marrying, having kids, a career, juggling priorities, and weathering life's usual pitfalls, 25 isn't "too young".

But being a widow at 25, that's inarguably young. Coping skills aren't the same in your 20's versus 30's or 40's.

Years ago, there was a statistic that only 2% of the world's population is widowed before age 40.

Make that age 25, and that number shrinks considerably. FF is having to grapple with what most women won't have to for another 50 plus years.

She's exercised questionable judgement. But really, does anyone expect good decisions out of her right now?

That's a tall order.

It's too easy to say how you'd behave in her shoes when you might not wear them for decades.



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